Eminem Ethered Donald Trump

So, to be clear, I’m not going to spend any time talking about how legendary Eminem is, son. At this point, if someone out there doesn’t know that Em is a Top 3 rapper of all time, then I can’t help that person, man. With that being said, I’m always hyped when he wakes up from hibernation, fam. These days, if he’s dropping any bars, then he usually has something to say. All in all, that’s exactly what happened during last night’s BET Hip Hop Awards. The Detroit luminary decided to hit the cyphers and completely obliterated Donald Trump.

Now, I won’t lie, bruh. I’m not going to sit here and dissect everything Em said. Frankly, it would be easier for everyone to just listen to the verse for themselves. In any case, the freestyle is called “The Storm” and Em went hamburger batshit crazy on y’alls president. Essentially, he touched on damn near every bit of fuckery of Trump’s campaign and presidency. Ultimately, I’ll just let Em speak for himself, son. By and by, folks can watch the video ether below. Viva la Eminem! LC out.

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Did André 3000 Really Diss Drake?


Well, well, well, what do we have here, son? A verse from the one and only André 3000. Now, I’m not being superfluous when I say this, but I really think 3 Stacks has only dropped two verses in my youngest son’s lifetime. Given his reclusive nature, getting two or three verses since the beginning of 2014 is progress, man. With that being said, I’d be remiss if I didn’t over analyze every line on his recent contribution to Frank Ocean‘s Blond album. Namely, did he really come for Drake‘s neck?

First, let me just acknowledge the fact Frank Ocean put out not one but TWO albums last week. After threatening to do harm to pets if he didn’t release a record, Ocean finally honored my request and flooded the market with new tunes. With that being said, everyone reading this should thank me. I made all of this happen, bruh. Side bar, as of right now, I’m not the biggest fan of either Blond or Endless, but I’ll save that hot take for another time, son.

In any case, the real news right now is the speculation behind 3000’s lyrics on “Solo (Reprise).” While he wax poetically on a variety of topics ranging from the hardships of being a woman to police violence, it was his thought process on ghostwriting that raised the world’s collective Rock eyebrow. Towards the end of the song, Dré states “After 20 years in, I’m so naive I was under the impression that everyone wrote they own verses, it’s coming back different and yeah that shit hurts me.” Immediately, social media lost its fucking mind and everyone assumed he was referring to good ol’ Drake.

Now, I have two conflicting thoughts about 3000’s intentions with those bars. On one hand, why the fuck would someone of his magnitude come out of hibernation just to take a swipe at Drake? Dré’s never been the one to do things simply for recognition, and as a longtime fan, I’ve never seen him beef with anyone. In addition, Drake ain’t the only dude who’s used ghostwriters in Hip Hop history. At this point, if anyone is shocked to learn Dr. Dre, Diddy and Kanye West don’t write all of their rhymes, I would question whether they’re familiar with Rap music at all. Hell, even the first Rap hit inadvertently had a ghostwriter, son. Grandmaster Caz wrote the rhyme Big Bank Hank said on The Sugarhill Gang‘s “Rapper’s Delight.” This practice is far from new in Hip Hop, man.

On the other hand, of COURSE he’s talking about Drake, son. Ever since Meek Mill jumped off of the ledge and called Drake out for not penning his own bars, he’s been the most public example of a potentially fradulent rapper. At this point, he’s the main guy getting called out for using other artists’ words. So, who else would really inspire 3000 to take this stance at this particular time? Either way, Drake needs to sit this one out, man. Look, I’ve already said he needed to avoid Eminem like the Zika Virus. Now, he damn sure needs to add 3 Stacks to that list. Any man who can spit the shit he did on “Return of the ‘G’” is not to be fucked with, son.

Ultimately, I’m just glad André found his way into someone’s vocal booth. While I gave up hope for a solo album a long time ago, I’m just happy to know he’s still a fucking animal. Welcome back, 3000. Welcome back. Now, just please put out another record before I have another kid. Thanks and good day.

Man, Drake Ain’t Battling Eminem

Ok, look, let’s stop the foolishness right now, son. It really doesn’t matter what Ebro Darden from Hot 97 says. There’s no way in Hell Drake and Eminem are going to battle each other. According to Ebro, he told Drake that Em was going to diss him and Drake replied that he had something for him if he does. Come on, son, I don’t believe that tall tale for a second, man. With that being said, can we put all of these hypotheticals to rest? At the end of the day, we all need to be completely honest with each other: Em would eat Aubrey for breakfast, lunch, dinner and fourth meal.

Let me start this dissertation by getting one item out of the way: popularity doesn’t matter, son. Everyone knows Drake is the most popular rapper in the world right now. However; his greatest successes don’t really compare to Em’s. Yeah, Drake has the most number-one Rap songs in history, but Em has two diamond-selling albums. Allow me to put that in perspective for a second. In the history of the world, only nine Rap albums have ever sold ten million records and Eminem has two of them. That’s some straight Adele shit, bro. So, in regards to this imaginary battle, success is irrelevant. Eminem wins that fight by default, man.

Now, let’s talk about actual skills here. In case anyone forgot where Eminem came from, he was literally bred to be a battle rapper. Don’t believe me? Just hit up YouTube and see a younger version of him royally roast a variety of opponents for the world to see. On the other hand, it doesn’t even seem like Drake considers him a rapper. In “Back To Back,” his damn near career-ending diss to Meek Mill, he uttered the words “you’re getting bodied by a singing nigga.” In addition, on “Big Amount,” his most recent guest appearance on a 2 Chainz song, he definitely said Rap is something he does “on the side.” From that mentality alone, he shouldn’t want ANY parts of the “Rap God.” After all of these years and all of the records sold, Em still writes rhymes with the focus of a broke dude trying to get a record deal. It would be asinine for Drake to pick a fight with a man who’s that dedicated to rhyming words together.

Finally, just listen to this damn song, man. I don’t care what anyone says in response to this. There is absolutely no rhyme in Drake’s catalog that can fuck with the first verse of this track. From a straight technical standpoint, it’s a genius display of wordplay, man. This ain’t rhyming to make a meme, bro. This is rhyming to make a motherfucker regret stepping into a circumference of body blows. Honestly speaking, if Drake has any real friends, they should tell him to debunk this story, even though I never believed it was real to begin with. Someone needs to save that man ASAP.

In the end, I don’t want it to seem like I’m a Drake hater here. I’m actually a huge fan of that guy’s music. Shit, “Under Ground Kings” is one of my theme songs, man. However; when it comes to Eminem, we’re talking about one of the greatest human beings to ever put a metaphor to a bass line. Also, we’re forgetting one crucial element here: if Drake didn’t want any static from Joe Budden, he damn sure doesn’t want to end up in Em’s crosshairs. Ultimately, we’ll never know, though. Drake seems to prefer taking shots at Funkmaster Flex, for God knows what reason. In any case, adios, good people.

P.S. Shout-out to my dude Kurt for inspiring this post. Yessir.