Donald Trump’s Fake News About ‘Fake News’

*Sigh* I guess it’s back to the bullshit, huh? I swear, man, Donald Trump‘s entire administration is a clown show, son. It’s a daily fucking circus and it’s making my head split in two. For the last few months, Trump’s been on a crusade against “fake news,” despite the fact that his team is responsible for some of the most egregious examples of false reporting. Whether it’s Sean Spicer or Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s entire squad of buffoons constantly spews inaccuracies that boggle the mind. However; not to be outshined, Trump took his ridiculous claims a step further by insinuating that the media doesn’t accurately report terrorist attacks.

To begin, while speaking with enlisted service-members at MacDill Air Force Base in Florida, Trump claimed that terrorist attacks are happening all over Europe and they’re not being reported. He then went on to say that the “dishonest” press has their “reasons” for not reporting these alleged incidents. Now, I say alleged because Trump gave ZERO examples to support his argument. In the aftermath, Spicer was probed by reporters for evidence to support Trump’s baseless accusations. In response, Spicer said that the White House would release a list of “underreported” attacks to bolster Trump’s words.

Now, here’s where the REAL fuckery begins. When the White House’s list finally surfaced, it chronicled a mountain of instances that dominated the news cycle over the past two years. Incidents such as the 2015 Paris attack, the Orlando nightclub shooting and the truck attacks in Nice and Berlin were included. Son, there was literally wall-to-wall coverage for ALL of these situations on damn near EVERY news network! How the fuck could Trump conclude that they were being underreported? Furthermore, why weren’t the massacres perpetrated by Dylann Roof and Alexandre Bissonnette included here? Oh, is it because they don’t fit Trump’s narrative of Islamic radicalism? Yeah, that sounds about right, son.

Moving on, I find it incredibly peculiar that only one of the attacks listed actually occurred in the countries targeted by the Muslim Ban. Only one out of 78?! In addition, most of them happened in Egypt. So, why are their citizens still free to come and go as they please? Son, what the fuck are we even talking about right now? To add insult to injury, there were spelling errors EVERYWHERE! I can’t take anyone’s argument seriously if they write “attaker” instead of “attacker,” son. Good fucking Lord, man! Get this dude faaaaaaaaaaaar away from the Oval Office!

In the end, FUCK! I can’t do this shit everyday, son. They’re already closing down Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, man. They just need to go ahead and add Donald Trump’s entire administration to that list. LC out.

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The Muslim Ban: An Official Rebuke Of The First Amendment

*Sigh* No lie, I’ve been trying to find a way to articulate myself all weekend. We’re literally watching the destruction of America right before our very eyes. Now, if anyone wants to read our country’s First Amendment, they’ll notice that the first thing the bill guarantees is freedom of religion. With one stroke of his pen, Donald Trump has egregiously violated our Constitution. On the real, based on Trump’s first ten days in office, I’m thoroughly convinced we’re on the verge of both World War III and Civil War II.

At this point, if anyone reading this is unaware of Trump’s Muslim Ban executive order, then… Google, son. Like, being in the dark on this issue is unacceptable. Trump essentially banned the entry of citizens from Syria, Iran, Sudan, Libya, Somalia, Yemen and Iraq. This is part of the “extreme vetting” that Trump constantly spoke about during his campaign run. According to his logic, this is to protect us from potential terrorist attacks. However; if that’s really the case, why aren’t Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan and Egypt on this list? Last time I checked, terrorists from these countries have actually attacked us. Has anyone heard of a little event called 9/11?

Look, I’m not naive and I’m fully away of the fact that ISIS has footing in some of the countries listed in the ban. However; here’s something to consider: Islamic radicals are killing mass amounts of their own people in these countries! That’s why countless innocent families are trying to flee and seek solace. Even outside of these refugees, green card holders and valid visa carriers were also being detained at airports. That’s right, son. People who had the LEGAL RIGHT to enter our country were being held up at numerous airports across the nation. Needless to say, the American public has had enough of the fuck shit and have taken to the streets to protest.

Now, here’s where Trump’s hypocrisy takes center stage. He claims that the ban isn’t based on religion, but his executive order gives preference to Christian refugees. Good fucking Lord, man! We’re watching an administration vehemently lie to our faces and then pretend like we don’t see the bullshit. This entire episode is one of the most deplorable violations of democracy I’ve ever seen. Like, I’m having a very hard time putting all of this into words, man. Our rights are being trampled on for the entire world to see, son.

As a response, Iran has already made strides to block U.S. visitors. Does everyone see what’s happening here? We’re very rapidly entering into a zone that can have very dangerous ramifications. Thanks to Trump, we’re already on bad terms with NATO and the United Nations. If we stay on this trajectory, we could end up in a military conflict with no allies to back us. So far, we’ve pissed off Europe, our Hispanic neighbors to the South and our Canadian neighbors to the North. If we add public unrest to that equation, we truly have the ingredients for another World War AND another Civil War.

All in all, to all of my Muslim brothers and sisters out there: your religion is not a crime. Donald Trump does NOT speak for the people and we categorically condemn everything he stands for. All jokes aside, the revolution is now and everyone needs to decide what side they’re on. All I know is, these despicable acts of injustice CANNOT continue. LC out.