The Scariness Of Parenthood Over Time

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I’m not sure if this post is going to have an overall point. If anything, I’m just here to share some random observations I’ve made about parenthood. All I know is, despite being a dad for nearly a decade, I still have no clue about what the fuck I’m doing, man. The truth is, as children continue to grow, there will never be any room for complacency, fam.

Ok, to be frank, I was inspired to write this post after hanging out with my oldest son last Friday. Now, since I have more than one child, solo time with each kid can be a little rare. Side note, I know people advise to carve out individual time when there are multiple children involved. All in all, I’m trying, bruh. I’m trying.

In any case, last week, my wife had something to do at her church and our youngest son was with her. So, it ended up being a night at the crib with my firstborn. Moving on, we camped out in the living room and watched copious amounts of X-Men: The Animated Series on Disney+. In addition, I tried to pick his brain on the day-to-day social shenanigans of his school life. I mean, he always tries to be coy, but he’s already made it clear that he’s started the boy/girl game with his classmates.

Anyway, during the course of our random conversations, it threw me for a loop that I was having a meaningful dialogue with my son. Like, I distinctly remember changing his diapers. I remember when he learned to walk and talk. I remember when he read his first book. Fast forward to now, he has legitimate feelings, real friendships with people and the whole world ahead of him. Truth be told, I’m fucking frightened by all of this, man.

Look, as exhausting as babies can be, parents can essentially control everything, son. Shit, they depend on us for their basic existence, fam. But, now I’m at the phase where that isn’t really the case anymore. Yes, my son is still a child but he’s also fully-immersed in the environment around him. Hell, my wife and I are now at the stage where we’re trying to decide if he’s ready for the “sex talk.” All I can say is, my little boy is growing up and I don’t even know how to feel, bruh.

In the end, I’ve probably said a lot and said nothing at the same time. Ultimately, I’m just a father trying to evolve as his son does the same. By and by, parenthood is unique because it’s never static, son. At the end of the day, the circumstances always change and we need to be ready to change with them. All in all, I just hope I don’t give my kids any terrible advice and fuck them all up. I mean, daddy can be a head case too, man. Shit, ask my mother. I’m positive that she had the same struggles in figuring out how to raise me, fam. I guess the cycle just continues, brethren. That is all. LC out.

P.S. For inquiring minds, my son was two in the pic on the left and a month away from nine in the pic on the right. Good day.

P.P.S. He won that trophy in his second-ever chess tournament. I was fucking HYPED, son! Ok, ok, I’m done. For real.

‘Peter Pan’ Is A Wild A*s Movie

'Peter Pan' Is A Wild As Movie

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I didn’t know that Disney had some problematic ass movies. But, since I haven’t seen a lot of these films in a long time, it was crazy to get re-acclimated to some of the tomfoolery, man. With that being said, Peter Pan is a wild ass movie, fam. All in all, I might have a warped sense of humor, but I was blown away by the depiction of Native Americans in his film.

Ok, as I’ve stated in a previous post, I’ve been all about that Disney+ life since the app dropped. In any case, since all of the classics are at the push of a button, I’ve been trying to familiarize my kids with some of the shit that I grew up on. Moving on, on Saturday night, my wife and I decided to pull Peter Pan out of the bag. Now, I’m fully aware that Peter is a brat of the highest degree. However, I legitimately forgot about the way Native Americans are represented in this movie. Needless to say, film studios wouldn’t be able to get away with all of that “red face” fuckery in 2019, bruh.

Now, to be fair, I know that Disney added a disclaimer saying “this program is presented as originally created. It may contain outdated cultural depictions.” Yes, I understand that’s their way of absolving themselves of new-age critique. Real talk, I’m not even necessarily upset by any of this, son. If anything, it shows just how far we’ve come in like 60 years. Shit, racism is still very much alive and kicking, but at least studios know better than to try and get this shit off in today’s era.

In the end, I don’t even know what else to say, son. Ultimately, people like to pretend like bigotry is some foreign ass concept that hasn’t existed in eons. The fact is, all of us have a parent or grandparent who was alive when it was fashionable to be this bias. So, we all need to stop pretending like a “post-racial” America even exists, man. At the end of the day, all this country did is tell folks not to say that shit in public. Then again, as we can tell from this current climate, this nation has backslid on all of those ideals, fam. That is all. LC out.

P.S. I didn’t even get to the bugged out shit that Peter says to Wendy and the mermaids, son. All I know is, Peter might not rank high on any feminist lists, man. Good day.

I’m All In On Disney+

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, today’s post could either be really long or incredibly short. All I can say is, I’m aiming for the latter, man. In any case, I’m just here to fan out about Disney+, fam. Listen, the kid in me is experiencing MASSIVE amounts of overload, bruh. Look, damn near every show/movie I cared about as a child is on this platform, people. All in all, LC is a very, very happy man right now.

Ok, if I’m keeping it a buck, I haven’t even scratched the surface of this streaming service, son. Like, I’m fully aware of the fact that Disney+ has everything from Disney, Pixar, Marvel, Star Wars, National Geographic and all of the hood DVDs they used to sell on 125th Street in Harlem. However, ever since its launch, I’ve been OD’ing on old episodes of X-Men: The Animated Series, man. Side bar, Magneto was always right, fam. Anyway, while I’ve been pretending like I’m 10 years old again, my sons have been getting familiar with classics like DuckTales and Darkwing Duck. All I know is, I’m ABSOLUTELY trying to indoctrinate them, bruh.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, son. Ultimately, I don’t have the time to sit here and chronicle all of the content on this service, man. By and by, Disney owns EVERYTHING, fam. So, naturally, they have all of the cool fucking shows, bruh. Shit, even if folks don’t want to be nostalgic, The Mandalorian is out here getting good reviews. At the end of the day, I might cancel all of my other subscriptions, people. I mean, I have X-Men and Spider-Man, brethren. What else do I need? Exactly. LC out.

P.S. My wife really knows me, son. Listen, she made individual accounts for her, Don, X and I and made Darth Vader my profile picture. She just understands me, man. Good day.

I F*cks With This Beyoncé ‘The Lion King’ Album

So, before anybody says anything, I’m fully aware of the fact that I criticized the press rollout for the new The Lion King. Keeping it a buck, I stand by everything I’ve said, son. Shit, Disney did the absolute most to prop Beyoncé up as the star of the show, man. Anyway, I’m still going to give the movie a shot, fam. All I know is, my wrath will be in full effect if Jon Favreau and company ruined a classic, bruh. With all of that being said, I decided to give Beyoncé’s The Lion King: The Gift album a spin. After two listens, I really fucks with it, brethren.

Now, given the African influence of The Lion King, it was easy to surmise that Afrobeats would have a prominent role in the music. To that point, Beyoncé got a lot of dope Nigerian and Ghanaian artists to grace the songs. Whether we’re talking about Burna BoyTiwa SavageWizkid or Shatta Wale, a lot of credible African artists got their just due, son. Look, as a Carib kid who was raised on Calypso and Soca, I feel at home with Afrobeats, man. I mean, there’s a distinct commonality throughout all of the music of the diaspora, fam. So, I’m just happy to see all of this come to fruition, bruh.

Moving on, a bunch of other dope artists got a chance to flex on some of the records, son. Like, Jay-Z‘s on a track with Childish GambinoKendrick Lamar is dueting with Beyoncé, Saint Jhn is getting some much needed recognition and Tierra Whack is destroying everything in sight. All in all, I can’t really say there were any songs I straight up disliked, man. Frankly, this is a well put together soundtrack, fam. So, major props to Beyoncé, bruh.

In the end, I’ll do my best to separate the music from the movie, son. Ultimately, I just hope the film wasn’t diluted, man. By and by, I’m seeing the picture on Saturday, so I’ll judge for myself, fam. If push comes to shove, at least I have the album, bruh. *Sigh* Don’t let me down, Disney! Don’t let me down. That is all. LC out.

P.S. My favorite songs on the album right now are “Find Your Way Back,” “Don’t Jealous Me” and “Water.” So, get to jamming, folks! Good day.

A Post Of Jokes For Folks Mad About A Black Mermaid

So, I won’t lie, son. Real talk, I can’t even pretend like I’m surprised, man. I mean, anytime there’s an opportunity, bigots are going to dig into their bigotry bag, fam. In any case, this The Little Mermaid shit is especially preposterous. Like, really? Really, folks? We’re seriously out here debating the race of a fictional character? *Sigh* I guess it’s time to get these jokes off, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Disney just brought out the prejudice in a number of people. Now, Halle Bailey, one half of the Beyoncé-signed sister duo Chloe x Halle, was cast as Ariel in the upcoming live-action version of The Little Mermaid. Anyway, on paper, Bailey definitely has the chops to kill this role. I mean, she’s a credible actress, as seen on Grown-ish, and she’s an incredible singer. So, this should be a layup, right? Well, not according to a bunch of racists on social media, son.

Now, from the minute news went out, the hate train started rolling, man. Shit, whether we’re talking about the #NotMyAriel hashtag or the “Make Ariel White Again” group on Facebook, an unfortunate faction of people started to attack Bailey’s race. Apparently, a fictional character, who is also an imaginary entity, cannot be Black. All I can say is, are folks fucking serious, fam?!

Listen, to begin, Ariel is a fucking mermaid, bruh. Last time I checked, MERMAIDS AREN’T REAL, SON! Hell, this is like when Megyn Kelly and company legitimately tried to argue the race of Santa Claus on Fox News. Seriously, are certain White people so insecure, they need fake characters to validate themselves? Fam, we’re talking about a cotdamn mermaid who’s friends with a Jamaican crab and gets her voice box taken by an octopus in a dress. That’s the fight these folks are trying to fight, man? For God‘s sake, don’t these people have more important shit to worry about? Are they paying their mortgages on time? Did their children eat for dinner? Like, the ethnicity of Ariel is not the hill to die on, brethren.

In the end, I need everyone to understand something: if the race of Ariel causes a person to say bad shit about Black people, then they’re racist. Ultimately, there are no ifs, ands or buts about it, son. By and by, if White people weren’t pissed about the casting of Gods of Egypt, then shut the fuck up. If they weren’t pissed about Fisher Stevens playing Ben Jabituya in Short Circuit, then shut the fuck up. If they weren’t pissed about Scarlett Johansson playing a fucking Japanese cyborg in Ghost in the Shell, then PLEASE shut the fuck up. Side bar, I love Scarlett Johansson, but that’s neither here nor there. At the end of the day, race only becomes an issue in casting when White people don’t get the role. So, these folks can kiss the crack of every minority ass, man. That is all. LC out.

‘The Lion King’ Isn’t About Beyoncé

So, let me keep it a buck, son. On the real, I know I’m treading dangerously with this post, man. However, as a lifelong The Lion King fan, I feel like I have to take a stand, fam. Listen, I know everyone loves Beyoncé, but the fact is, The Lion King isn’t about her character, Nala. With that being said, I really don’t like how much more attention she’s getting than the rest of the cast.

Ok, for those who are living under a rock, Disney is releasing a live-action version of the classic film. Now, I think it’s safe to say that this movie is star-studded, bruh. From Beyoncé to Donald Glover to Seth Rogen to Chiwetel Ejiofor to James Earl Jones, the big guns came out for this joint, son. Shit, they even got Jon Favreau directing it, man. Side note, I can’t explain how happy I am that Jones is still voicing Mufasa, fam. I mean, no one else is worthy enough for the role, brethren.

In any case, the film sounds fantastic on paper, son. But, as promotion for the movie has started to ramp up, I’ve noticed that Beyoncé is getting a lot of the shine, man. Like, anytime I look on social media, I see people talking about Beyoncé. Next, I read a report that she’s adding her own original song to the flick. Hell, even outlets like Complex are giving Beyoncé her own billing on their sites. All I know is, her character isn’t even close to being the star of the show, fam.

Look, let’s be frank here, bruh. If we’re going by the original film, Nala’s in like three scenes, son. First, Simba convinces her to go to the elephant graveyard and shenanigans with the hyenas ensue. Next, a whole heap of years later, she finds Simba in the wilderness with Timon and Pumbaa. Finally, she helps Simba take down Scar, reclaim Pride Rock and then becomes his bride. Now, in total, that’s like 15 minutes of airtime, man. So, how does any actress playing that role become the focal point of the press campaign, fam?

Listen, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I know how the movie is going to turn out. All in all, the live-action version could very well end up being a play-by-play remake of the original. All I’m saying is, based on Beyoncé’s coverage, it looks like the powers that be are trying to position her as the lead. In my eyes, that would be a complete disservice to the masterpiece that was/is the 1994 version of the film.

In the end, I want to make myself perfectly clear, son. Ultimately, I’m not trying to hate on Beyoncé. Real talk, I would feel the same way if it were anyone else. The truth is, I’m just a diehard fan of the original movie. By and by, I don’t want Disney to fuck up a classic just to capitalize off of Beyoncé’s fame. The way I see it, the plot is already perfect, man. So, I just hope they stick to the script and do the film justice, fam. At the end of the day, I’d be devastated if they fuck this up. That is all. LC out.