Phil Jackson Wants To Destroy The New York Knicks

So, to be clear, the New York Knicks are the worst organization in professional sports. I mean, over the last 20 years, tortured fans, such as myself, have had to deal with the highest levels of managerial incompetence. Whether we’re talking about James Dolan or Isiah Thomas, the Knicks never fail to make awful, awful, AWFUL decisions. As of right now, Jackson is trying to outdo ALL of his predecessors when it comes to fuckery. All I can say is, if Jackson actually trades Kristaps Porzingis, I will finally give up being a Knicks fan.

Now, I want Jackson to understand one truth: no one gives a fuck that Porzingis skipped his exit interview. Frankly, he’s tired of the team’s tomfoolery, man. So far, in his two seasons, he’s had to deal with copious amounts of losing. In addition, he’s also had to watch Jackson consistently disrespect Carmelo Anthony, the team’s best player. Look, why would any player be excited about their future in this city? The Knicks have made NO efforts to actually improve the squad. On the real, when I heard that Porzingis bailed on his interview, I completely understood, son. Honestly, I probably would’ve done the same exact thing.

Moving on, this clown Jackson really had the nerve to say he wants to do “what’s best for the club.” Well, if that’s the case, how the FUCK would getting rid of Porzingis help us?! Man, we’re talking about a dude that everyone compares to Dirk Nowitzki. Keep in mind, when we look at both players at this stage in their respective careers, Porzingis has already surpassed Nowitzki. Through two seasons, he’s better than Dirk in almost every statistical category. Yeah, that’s right, son. As it stands, Porzingis is outpacing an NBA legend who’s won a title and scored 30,000 points. Needless to say, why the FUCK would we trade him?! It makes absolutely no sense, fam!

Listen, I have a conspiracy theory, son. Now, when Jackson was a player, he played for the Knicks. In fact, he was on the only two teams that have won titles in our franchise’s history. Keeping it a buck, I think he’s sabotaging us in order to keep his rings sacred. I mean, I believe he only took this job for the money. I don’t think he really gives a fuck whether this works or not. In the end, he’ll take his cash, figure out a way to reconcile with Jeanie Buss and leave our city in ruins. By and by, this man needs to be stopped, fam!

Ultimately, this team has caused me enough pain. Bruh, even when we were good in the 1990s, I always knew our seasons would end in heartbreak. All in all, I can’t take this shit anymore, son. Real talk, trading Porzingis would be the straw that broke the camel’s back, man. Look, he’s the first good draft pick we’ve had in eons. If he leaves, then I leave. I have nothing else to give to this team. Fuck off, Phil! LC out.

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Long Live Dirk Nowitzki!

Ok, as a hardened New York Knicks fan, it’s hard for me to give outside players credit. For example, I’m fully aware of the fact that Michael Jordan is the greatest player of all-time. However; for all of the years he tormented my beloved team, I refuse to purchase any of his God-forsaken sneakers. That’s right, son! I’m a 31-year-old Black man and I’ve never owned a pair of Jordan’s. Growing up, if it wasn’t a pair of Timberland‘s or Uptown‘s, excuse me, Air Force 1‘s, then I wasn’t with it, man. In any case, regardless of what I’ve just said, I’ve always been a fan of Dirk Nowitzki. So, in response to him scoring 30,000 career points, I want to give this legend his just due.

Now, if I’m being honest, I really don’t know how it’s possible to dislike Dirk. I mean, since 1998, the dude has done nothing but produce. He’s literally one of the most consistent players in NBA history. His numbers may have taken a dip this year, but he was just averaging 18 PPG last year, son! Keep in mind, his career average is 22 PPG. Meaning, in his 18th year in the league, he was STILL close to maximum productivity. That’s fucking insane, man! In addition, after eclipsing 30,000 points, he joined Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Karl Malone, Kobe Bryant, Jordan and Wilt Chamberlain as one of six players to reach that milestone. Do I really need to say more, bruh?

All in all, Dirk is the man, son. We need to salute our legends while they’re still in our presence, man. So, shout-out to Dirk for being one of the greatest players to ever lace up a pair of sneakers. Shit, where would the Dallas Mavericks be without him? LC out.

P.S. Dirk is also married to a Black woman, so he’s automatically gucci in my book, son. That is all.

P.P.S. Now that I think about it, we should look at some highlights before we go. I mean, why the fuck not, son? Let’s do it!