So… Jeffrey Epstein Committed ‘Suicide’

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, this is one of those days where I have to get into my conspiracy bag, man. I mean, this Jeffrey Epstein situation is haaaaard for me to believe, fam. Like, after everything that’s transpired, his “suicide” looks fishy as fuck, bruh. All in all, he very well may have killed himself. However, I’m sorry if me, and tons of others, are out here calling shenanigans.

Ok, for those who missed it, accused pedophile Epstein was found dead on Saturday from a supposed suicide. Now, after a previous “suicide attempt” on July 23rd, Epstein was placed on suicide watch. Meaning, he was supposed to be closely monitored and checked on every 30 minutes. Instead, during the moment he “hung himself,” the two guards in charge didn’t check on him for hours. So, during this time period, Epstein “took his own life.”

Now, let me be real, son. Look, I’m putting so many phrases in quotations because this story is super shady, man. Shit, here we have a dude who allegedly ran a sex trafficking ring. On top of that, he had notable ties to Donald Trump, Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton. In addition, accusers have stated that Epstein and a former love interest, Ghislaine Maxwell, passed them around to high-profile individuals like Prince AndrewBill Richardson and George Mitchell. Furthermore, Epstein previously tried to off himself while in detention. So, after all of that, the authorities STILL left him alone long enough for him to kill himself? Nah, fam, I don’t know if I’m rolling with that story.

The way I see it, Epstein knew waaaaay too much, bruh. Hell, how many sick ass people could he take down if he started flapping his gums, son? Now, there is a legitimate possibility that he committed suicide, man. Frankly, I don’t know shit about shit, fam. All I’m saying is, this scenario is just a little bit too convenient, bruh. Listen, given his connection to so many different factions, it’s highly suspicious that he would die like this in federal custody, brethren. So, I’m going to need a lot more facts here, people.

In the end, no one will miss Jeffrey Epstein. Ultimately, I just hope that his death won’t prevent other dirtbags from seeing justice. By and by, everyone in his circumference needs to be taken down, son. At the end of the day, anyone who hurts children doesn’t deserve humanity, man. So, I hope the authorities round up all of these assholes, fam. That is all. LC out.

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Two… TWO Mass Shootings In 24 Hours

So, here we are, son. Another day, another mass shooting. Wait, no, excuse me, man. I mean, another day and TWO MORE mass shootings, fam. Like, I’m at a legitimate loss for words, bruh. Seriously, I just wrote about the Gilroy Garlic Festival shooting last Monday, people. How the fuck am I writing about a second AND third shooting in a week’s time? For God‘s sake, something needs to be done NOW!

Ok, let’s start with El Paso, Texas, son. So, Patrick Crusius, a 21-year-old from Allen, Texas, drove over 600 miles to El Paso. Now, as seen in his “manifesto,” he went there for the sole purpose of shooting Hispanic people. This fruit loop believes the country is being overrun by immigrants and his solution was to shoot as many Latino people as he could find. All in all, Crusius killed 20 people and injured another 26.

Now, here’s the part of the article that’s going to make Donald Trump supporters mad. Yes, y’alls President has culpability in this situation. Shit, for the last four years, he’s made it his life’s mission to vilify the Hispanic community. Hell, building the Border Wall was THE major policy point of his campaign, man. Fam, as of right now, there are still countless Hispanic families being held in glorified internment camps, bruh. So, he can’t stoke the flames for all of these years and then back the fuck out when a loser takes his words to heart. On the real, Crusius thought he was helping the fucking cause, folks.

Moving on, let’s talk about Dayton, Ohio. Now, 24-year-old Connor Betts rolled up to the Ned Peppers bar and fired at everyone outside. In under a minute, he murdered 9 people and hurt 27 more. Sadly, his sister, Megan Betts, was one of the innocent folks killed outside of the bar. All I know is, it’s absolutely baffling that he was able to cause so much damage in such a short period of time.

Anyway, when it comes to Betts, he identified as a Democrat. Furthermore, based on his social media presence, he supported Elizabeth Warren and socialism. In addition, he had numerous tweets displaying his disdain for the Trump administration. In any case, I’m still not sure what this fucktard’s motive was. All I can say is, it better not have been related to any bipartisan shit. Bruh, what kind of idiot thinks mass murder is an effective political tool? Like I said, I don’t know if that was his motivation, but at this point, I’d believe it, son. The fact is, people don’t need to die to prove a stupid ass point, man. No one deserves to be killed for the Democrats or the Republicans.

With all of that being said, let’s talk about the two main issues at hand: guns and White male terrorists. Listen, anytime some shit doesn’t go some White dude’s way, his solution is to kill a bunch of innocent people. Look, Timothy McVeigh was mad at the government, so he bombed an entire Federal building. Dylann Roof hated Black people, so he shot up a church. Now, Crusius despised Hispanics, so he drove over 9 hours to murder them. The fact is, domestic (White) terrorists are WAY more dangerous than another other group. That’s right, more deadly than the Muslims they always try to pit us against.

On top of that, the weaponry these terrorists have access to changes the entire game, fam. Bruh, Betts was able to shoot 35+ people in under a minute, son. Real talk, I don’t want to hear a debate, man. Keeping it a buck, if all he had was a knife, there is NO way he’d be able to do that much damage, folks. So yes, the guns are also a fucking problem, brethren. At this point, I really don’t understand how dummies can even argue either of these facts.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, son. Ultimately, we have a gun control problem that no one wants to talk about. We have a White terrorism problem that no one wants to talk about. Shit, Dave Gomez, a former FBI counter-terrorism agent, admitted as much to the Senate, man. By and by, since nobody in power wants to touch these subjects, people will keep on dying, fam. At the end of the day, they can take their “thoughts and prayers” and shove it up their partisan asses, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Robert Mueller Can’t Please Everyone

So, let me be frank, son. Honestly, it’s amazing to see people’s reactions to situations when the outcome isn’t what they wanted. On the real, that assessment can be used for both the Democrats and the Republicans, man. The fact is, Robert Mueller plainly laid out his findings about Donald Trump and Russia. All in all, both sides are only mad because the truth isn’t enough to flatly push their respective agendas.

Ok, for those who missed it, Special Counsel Mueller testified in front of the House Judiciary Committee. Now, on paper, his testimony was supposed to shed light on his report regarding the Trump campaign, Russian interference, collusion and obstruction. In reality, both the Right and the Left were looking for tidbits to bolster their respective arguments about Trump’s presidency. The “problem” is, Mueller’s assertions don’t fit nicely in any particular box, fam.

Look, here’s the God‘s honest truth, bruh: Russia interfered with the 2016 presidential election, members of Trump’s staff interacted with shady Russian motherfuckers and Trump actively tried to circumvent the subsequent investigation. Now, with all of that being said, both sides of the political landscape are unsatisfied, son. I mean, the Democrats are unsatisfied because they can’t just string Trump up and throw him in the ocean. The Republicans are unsatisfied because the obstruction cloud still hovers very firmly over 45. Basically, this is entire situation is grey when folks want it to be black and white.

Now, based on Mueller’s report and testimony, here’s what we know: Trump’s only saving grace is the fact that he’s a sitting president. Like, the Committee straight up asked Mueller if Trump could be charged with obstruction of justice once he left office. In response, Mueller said “yes,” man. So, I don’t know what else people want, fam. Listen, people wanted Mueller to get to the bottom of what happened and he did. Meaning, his part of the job is over, bruh. All I know is, the ball is, and has always been, in Congress‘ court. Shit, if they don’t want to do anything about Trump’s tomfoolery, then what is Mueller supposed to do, son?

In the end, I’ll tell everyone reading this what I told my wife. Ultimately, to me, the scariest part of this current climate is not the racism, classism or all-out bigotry. By and by, it’s the assault on the truth, man. All I can say is, partisanship used to be based on different sides arguing about what the facts mean. Now, people don’t even acknowledge that facts are facts, fam. At the end of the day, we know what Trump did, we know what his team did and we know what Russia did. However, that doesn’t seem to be enough to move the needle, bruh. *Sigh* That is all. LC out.

Trump Is As Much Of An Immigrant As The Freshman Congresswomen

So, here we are again, son. Another day, another preposterous Twitter rant from Donald Trump. Anyway, in a random stream of consciousness, Trump tweeted that progressive Democratic congresswomen should “fix the totally broken and crime infested places from which they came” before telling the United States how to govern. All I know is, I don’t even know where to begin with the fuckery, man.

Ok, before I continue, I’d like to go through Trump’s family tree. On the real, I feel like this is necessary in order to showcase how ridiculous his comments were. Now, for those who are unaware, Trump’s mother, Mary Anne Trump, was an immigrant. In fact, she was born in Scotland in 1912. In addition, his father, Fred Trump, was a first generation American who was born to German parents. Furthermore, Trump’s first AND third wives were both born outside of this country. With all of that being said, his views on immigrants are fucking perplexing, fam. I mean, his entire lineage is full of “aliens,” bruh.

Moving on, let’s talk about the congresswomen who Trump essentially targeted. First, there’s Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. She was born in The Bronx, New York to Puerto Rican parents. This makes her a first generation American. Next, there’s Rashida Tlaib. She was born in Detroit, Michigan to Palestinian parents. This also makes her a first generation American. Next, there’s Ayanna Pressley. She was born in Cincinnati, Ohio. Now, unless I’m wrong, her folks weren’t even immigrants at all, son (well, they were, but you know what I mean). Finally, there’s Ilhan Omar. Real talk, she’s the only one who was born out of the country, hailing from Somalia. The point is, the ancestry of most of these women has as many foreigners as Trump, man. So, what is the hate really about, fam?

Look, let’s just call a spade a spade, bruh. The truth is, immigrants are only vilified when they’re Black or Brown, son. Keeping it a buck, the motivation that caused Trump to question Barack Obama‘s birthplace is the same motivation that caused him to attack these congresswomen. The fact is, these ladies are just as American as Trump and anybody else who decides to question them. Listen, political disagreements are one thing. However, belittling someone’s patriotism and devaluing their place in this country is completely different, man. The way I see, people of color are always viewed as “invaders,” regardless of our strong ties to this nation.

In the end, I’m not even going to pretend like I’m surprised, fam. Like, I almost skipped this subject entirely, bruh. Hell, water is wet and Donald Trump says racist shit. What’s new, son? Ultimately, 45 showed us who he was a loooooooong time ago, man. At the end of the day, we just need to keep pushing back until we finally push him out, fam. That is all. LC out.

Jeffrey Epstein’s Crimes Are Being Politicized

So, here we are, son. Yet another example of why I vehemently hate politics, man. I mean, journalists, pundits and elected officials have the uncanny ability to turn ANYTHING into a political shit-show. All I know is, I’m fucking disgusted right now, fam. Seriously, anyone trying to turn this Jeffrey Epstein shit into a partisan issue is the scum of the Earth, bruh. The way I see it, this situation is WAY bigger than some Democrat and Republican tomfoolery, people.

Now, before I continue, let me layout all of the despicable things that Epstein has been accused of, son. Ok, for those who are unaware, Epstein is a financier who manages the assets of wealthy individuals. Now, a lot of news outlets have called him a billionaire, but Forbes thinks it’s all shenanigans, man. Shit, he could be, but since his client list is secret, there’s no way to properly determine his wealth, fam. In any case, Epstein is on the hook for an alleged sex-trafficking ring, bruh. Essentially, the authorities believe that Epstein is out here abusing scores of underage girls. Apparently, he’s been violating girls for years and making them recruit more girls for him.

Moving on, since the alleged behavior has been going on for years, everyone wants to know if his associates had any idea about him. The problem is, his associates include Donald Trump and Bill Clinton. Now, because of this, the Right and the Left have been slinging accusations at their respective representatives. Hell, Fox News is trying their hardest to include Clinton in Epstein’s mess and newspapers like The Washington Post are heightening the link between Trump and Epstein. The fact is, both men had a relationship with this sicko.

Look, regardless of what both sides want to say, both Trump and Clinton had numerous interactions with Epstein. Like, Clinton has flown on Epstein’s plane on more than one occasion. Side bar, Epstein’s plane was called the Lolita Express, son. For God‘s sake, the idiot wasn’t even trying to hide his debauchery, man. On the real, something is seriously wrong with that dude, fam. Anyway, Trump hung with Epstein at his Mar-a-Lago Club on numerous occasions. In addition, Trump once called Epstein a “terrific guy” who “likes beautiful women as much as [he does], and many of them are on the younger side.” Bruh, I couldn’t make this shit up! All in all, it seems like everybody knew EXACTLY who Epstein was/is.

All I can say is, the last thing this story needs is a political spin, son. In my eyes, if any of these fuckers knew what Epstein was up to, then they all need to be strung up, man. Real talk, I don’t give a fuck what party any of these people belong to. Frankly, when little girls are being abused, anyone knowledgeable needs to hang, fam. To me, the fact that I need to even say that shows how far gone this country is, bruh. At the end of the day, there are things in this life that are WAY bigger than political affiliations, brethren. The safety of underage girls is one of them.

In the end, I hope they throw all of the proverbial books at Epstein, son. Ultimately, this man is a sex offender who continued to hurt girls, man. By and by, his fate should be sealed, fam. From there, anybody else who knew about his dastardly deeds should pay too, bruh. If it’s Donald Trump, then so be it. If it’s Bill Clinton, then so be it. Neither one of those men should be bigger than justice, folks. Then again, I’m not naïve, people. The powers that be would never let those men fall. *Sigh* That is all. LC out.

We Never Knew Kanye West

Look, let me keep it a buck, son. Everything we ever thought we knew about Kanye West was a lie, man. The image he portrayed on all of his early albums was a lie, fam. On the real, I honestly believe we’re seeing the real him right now. For me, it’s no coincidence that when he became wealthy he began rejecting everything he previously stood for. Shit, he might be the biggest example of who I was talking about in my “Money Can’t Buy ‘Woke’” post, bruh. All in all, his White House meeting with Donald Trump was one of the most damaging things I’ve ever seen, folks.

Now, like I’ve said before, my real beef with Kanye is his gross lack of knowledge. Like, he picks the most public places and displays an INCREDIBLE misunderstanding of the issues. Real talk, when it comes to all of the fuckery he said yesterday, I don’t even know where to begin, son. I mean, we could talk about his thoughts on North Korea. He gave Trump credit for “solving” Barack Obama‘s biggest problem, despite the fact that North Korea hasn’t actually given up ANY of their nukes yet. Hell, they don’t even have a timeline for shutting down their damn nuclear program yet, man!

Moving on, we could talk about Kanye’s misguided views of Black people on welfare. Shit, can someone please tell him that White women represent the largest number of welfare recipients? Like, these are facts, brethren. Next, we could talk about the fact that he likened his MAGA hat to a Superman cape. Even worse, he said he couldn’t get behind Hillary Clinton‘s “I’m With Her” slogan because he was a dude. So, his “manhood” wouldn’t allow him to support a woman? He needed “male energy” in order to feel good about himself? My God, his biological father has fucking failed him, bruh. That’s sexism on a baffling level, people.

From there, we could talk about how he brought superstition into his analysis of the 13th Amendment. Son, what the fuck does a building not having a 13th floor have to do with the government’s “right” to treat prisoners like slaves? Sheesh, did I really hear him say that, man? What the fuck is actually going on here?! Lastly, we could talk about his “victim mentality” idea. Essentially, he used this idiotic phrase to recant everything he’s ever said about race relations in this country. Honestly, I think this was the worst part of the entire meeting, fam.

*Sigh* Kanye essentially blamed a “victim mentality” for why he previously criticized George W. Bush. He blamed a “victim mentality” for why Black people are upset about police brutality. Look, I guess getting murdered by the state with no reprisal has nothing to do with why we’re mad, bruh. Listen, this fool really brought up Black-on-Black crime for why we shouldn’t be upset with police. Newsflash, Kanye: ALL races are predominantly killed by members of the same fucking race! He would know that if he EVER read anything! Fuck, man! I didn’t think this dude could still make me angry, but I’m fucking livid! Like, he went to the cotdamn White House and said all that bullshit, son!

In my eyes, one of the main issues here is Kanye’s wealth. Only a wealthy person can afford the luxury of no longer identifying. Now, let me be clear, man: I’m not saying that money is a bad thing. Hell, I want a lot of it too, fam. However, Kanye wasn’t talking this shit when he was just a dude from Chicago. Frankly, he got rich and COMPLETELY forgot about the trial and tribulations of everyday people. He no longer has to be affected by the stop-and-frisk tactics that Trump wants to enact. He no longer has to worry about possibly dying at a traffic stop. He no longer has to worry about being mistreated by the justice system. So, he no longer gives a flying fuck about our pain, bruh.

In the end, the line in the sand has been drawn, son. Before, I was on some “I can’t fuck with Kanye” shit. Now, I’m on some “I can’t even fuck with you if you fuck with Kanye” shit. Ultimately, the music doesn’t matter, man. By and by, I don’t give a fuck if he drops another classic tomorrow. At the end of the day, I CANNOT and WILL NOT support a man who tries so hard to disparage the people who gave him a career and a platform. So, once and for all, fuck Kanye West, fam! That is all. LC out.

Uh, Shout-out To Taylor Swift

So, I won’t lie, son. It’s super easy to hate on Taylor Swift, man. I mean, she’s made a career out of dissing ex-boyfriends and being fake humble, fam. All I can say is, that ain’t the type of vibe I regularly endorse, bruh. In any case, I have to give credit where credit is due. Normally, when someone has a platform as huge as hers, they steer clear of ALL political discussions. However, instead of running from her influence, Swift has decided to use her name in a positive way. All in all, salute to Swift, brethren!

Ok, for those who missed it, Swift took to Instagram to talk about the upcoming midterm elections. Now, while her tax bracket might suggest some Republican ties, she actually took the time to endorse some Democratic candidates. Then again, it’s not necessarily about whether she’s a Democrat or a Republican. Frankly, she simply doesn’t bang with Marsha Blackburn, a GOP candidate running for Senate in Tennessee. Anyway, instead of just being a contrarian for the sake of it, Swift actually explained why she doesn’t rock with Blackburn. For one, she pointed to Blackburn’s views on women and gay rights. Furthermore, Swift actually brought up systemic racism in America, something I NEVER thought I’d see from her.

Moving on, Swift gave her support for Phil Bredesen for the Senate and Jim Cooper for the House of Representatives. Needless to say, a lot of people, including myself, were shocked that she made such a public declaration. Shit, in 2018, who would’ve thought that Swift would be out here talking about racism while Kanye West is busy giving Donald Trump a dick-flute solo? *Sigh* These are strange fucking times we live in, son. Strange times indeed.

In the end, shout-out to Taylor Swift, man. Hell, even though I’ve never given her any props before, I guess there’s a first time for everything, fam. Ultimately, I agree most with one point she made: “vote based on who most closely represents your values.” By and by, that doesn’t have shit to do with party lines, bruh. Now, everybody, get out there and vote on November 6! That is all. LC out.