Whose Mans Is Chet Hanks?

So, before I even begin this post, I’d like to give everyone some background on my upbringing. Now, I’m a first-generation American whose mother was born in Barbados and whose father was born in St. Vincent. Furthermore, I have extended family members from Jamaica, Trinidad, Grenada, Antigua, you name it. In addition, I’m married to a woman whose entire family is from Nevis. Meaning, I’m as Caribbean as they come, son. With all of that being said, what in the entire fuck was Chet Hanks doing at the Golden Globes, fam?

Ok, for those who missed it, Chet’s father, the incomparable Tom Hanks, was being presented a lifetime achievement award at this year’s Golden Globes. Needless to say, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Chet was there. However, his appearance on the red carpet was thoroughly baffling, man. I mean, out of fucking nowhere, dude decided to talk to the press in a patois accent straight out of the 99 Cent Store. Bruh, what “island massive” was Chet referring to? The fucking bar staff at a Sandals resort? For the love of God, why is Chet always doing some fuckity-fuck shit, son?

To be clear, this is not the first time that Chet has engaged in nonsensical shenanigans. Shit, just a few years ago, he was a rapper who looooved saying the word “nigga.” Now, all of a sudden, he’s the new fucking Collie Buddz? Side note, that ain’t a knock against Collie Buddz, man. On the real, I’m a big fan of that dude, folks. In any case, this culture vulture shit needs to stop, fam. Hell, he’s the son of a cotdamn legend, people. Real talk, he doesn’t have to always partake in the fuckery, brethren.

In the end, I have nothing else to say, bruh. Ultimately, I want everyone to watch the video for themselves. By and by, after getting past the fact that the video is hilarious, we need to pack Chet Hanks in a box somewhere. At the end of the day, he’s a habitual line-stepper who has to be defeated, son. At this point, I’m pretty sure that Tom would rather rock out with Wilson than Chet, man. That is all. LC out.

Get Miley Cyrus The F*ck Outta Here!

Now, before I drag Miley Cyrus to Hell in an Uber, I want everyone to take a good look at the picture above. Yeah, the clown in that photo is the same Ronald McDonald who’s now criticizing Hip Hop. I mean, this chick can’t be serious, right? Shit, after all of her culture vulture behavior, she has some fucking nerve, son. The way I see it, Cyrus is just another example of White people using Black culture for their own benefit. With that being said, she can take her hypocrisy and go back to the set of Hannah Montana.

So, for anyone who missed it, Cyrus recently did an interview with Billboard magazine. Amongst a variety of topics, she decided to give her (unwarranted) two cents on Rap music. Apparently, she has decided to move away from the genre because there’s too much “come sit on my dick, suck on my cock” imagery in the lyrics. All in all, in her own words, she is “so not that.”

Ok, look, I will never be the guy to pretend like Hip Hop doesn’t love the debauchery. Hell, everyone knows how much of a Future fan I am, and his current hit song literally repeats “Molly, Percocet” in the chorus. With that being said, Miley Cyrus needs to have ALL of the seats ever constructed in human history. Shit, for someone criticizing an entire culture, SHE’S the one with a looooooong history of degrading and vulgar behavior.

Look, this is the same woman who was obsessed with twerking. This is the same woman who used Black women as props in her performances. This is the same woman who simulated fucking a foam finger at the Video Music Awards. This is the same woman who lit a joint onstage during the Europe Music Awards. This is the same woman who got Mike WiLL Made-It to executive produce her Bangerz album because she wanted an “urban” sound. This is the same woman who had her breasts out in damn near every outfit she wore. Now she’s fucking better than us? Man, if this chick doesn’t get the flying fuckity-fuck out of our faces! We can see right through her White Privilege. Clearly, Hip Hop was only cool when she could pillage it for monetary gain.

In the end, THIS is exactly why Black people are so testy with cultural appropriation. Vultures turn on us just as quickly as they try to emulate us. Shit, Justin Bieber really thought he was Black until he started running into the police. Side note, his Journals compilation album is fucking flawless, son. However; that’s a conversation for another day. In any case, it’s hard for us to trust an outsider’s motives when people like Cyrus pull shit like this. Ultimately, I pray that Miley disappears into the ether, never to be heard from again. LC out.