I Don’t Care About ‘Covfefe’

So, to be real, I wasn’t even going to write about this story, son. I mean, keeping it a buck, Donald Trump‘s inability to spell is not news. Look, his grammatical error game is strong on Twitter, man. Frankly, I’m surprised when he’s actually able to tweet a coherent thought, fam. That’s how rarely that event occurs, bruh. In any case, I don’t like how this nonsense is distracting us from the Trump administration’s usual fuckery. In any case, LC is here to remind everyone of just that, son.

Now, before I continue, let me get one thing out of the way. Man, someone needs to put Sean Spicer out of his misery, bruh. Listen, defending Trump MUST be killing him inside. Fam, this dude really stood behind a podium and said “the President and a small group of people know exactly what he meant.” Good fucking Lord, man! This administration can’t even admit to a fucking typo, son! That statement is one of the most preposterous collections of words I’ve ever heard in my life. Look, Spicer, NO ONE believes that bullshit, man! Absolutely no one.

Moving on, let me be perfectly clear about this entire brouhaha. I don’t care about “covfefe” because the House Intelligence Committee just subpoenaed Michael Flynn and Michael Cohen, Trump’s personal lawyer. I don’t care about “covfefe” because James Comey has agreed to testify before the Senate. I don’t care about “covfefe” because Trump is having a war of words with Angela Merkel, the Chancellor of Germany. As a reminder, Germany is an ally of ours. Needless to say, so much real shit is happening out here, we shouldn’t have time to worry about the fact that Trump is dumber than a fifth grader. We all need to be paying attention to the real issues, fam. It’s getting ugly out here, son. Really ugly.

In the end, we all know Trump is an idiot, man. That tidbit is not news. At this point, we all need to be worrying about the inner workings of this administration. Ultimately, the FBI and the intelligence committees need to get to the bottom of the real tomfoolery, son. Until then, please keep the stupidity out of the media, fam. Thanks. LC out.

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Greg Gianforte: The Stone Cold Steve Austin Of Politics

Bruh, what manner of fuckery is this? I mean, is this how our politicians are getting down now? Look, I know we’re in the age of Donald Trump, but there has to be a limit to the foolishness, right? Son, Greg Gianforte really just took a hatred of the press to the next level. For a moment, he forgot he was running for Congress and took up Stone Cold Steve Austin‘s mantle. All I know is, I’m not sure how practicing wrestling moves can help a campaign.

Now, I won’t lie, son. When I first heard the story I’m about to tell, I laughed. Like, I couldn’t fathom the idea of a politician doing what Gianforte did, man. So, for those who are unaware, Gianforte physically attacked a reporter. It all began when Ben Jacobs, a journalist from The Guardian, walked into Gianforte’s campaign headquarters and put a recorder in front of Gianforte. Apparently, he wanted to know Gianforte’s take on the latest Congressional Budget Office report. This newly-released document stated that 23 million people would lose health insurance under the recently-approved American Health Care Act. Needless to say, Gianforte wasn’t thrilled by the question.

From there, Gianforte grabbed Jacobs by the neck, body slammed him and then started punching him in the face. Now, how do we know all of this? Because Alicia Acuna, a Fox News reporter, was one of the people in the room when the assault occurred. Meaning, they were able to refute Gianforte’s claim that Jacobs was physically aggressive towards him. All in all, Gianforte went into Wolverine berserker mode and started bugging out on Jacobs.

Man, what in the fuckity-fuck is good in these streets? Son, this dude is running for Congress? Like, he’s trying to be down with the House of Representatives? For real?! How the fuck can anyone in Montana vote for this dude if he behaves like this? How can this man be trusted by anyone? For God‘s sake, he attacked a man for asking him a question! How does that action exude any type of leadership or self-control? At this point, Montana should be ashamed of themselves if they elect this clown. Hell, he was just arrested for what he did to Jacobs. Ultimately, he doesn’t deserve a seat in the House, fam.

In the end, our political system has gone to Hell, son. Listen, I literally can’t guess what will happen next with our elected officials. Seriously, everyone has lost their fucking minds around here. At this rate, I might really have to run for office, man. I mean, I’m competent enough, right? Right?! Yeah, I thought so. LC out.

Can Donald Trump Stop Politicizing Syria?

To begin, I just have one question. Is there literally NO issue that won’t be politicized? I mean, why must every situation and circumstance become some ideological debate? Look, some things just aren’t politics, son. Why can’t our government understand that? All I know is, a chemical attack in Syria is not the time to bash a previous administration. With that being said, can Donald Trump stop politicizing the deaths of Syrian people?

Now, before I continue, let’s just get one fallacy out of the way. Trump doesn’t give a flying fuck about the citizens of Syria. First, he tried to block Syrian refugees from entering our country in not one but TWO travel bans! Innocent men, women and children have been trying to flee from Bashar al-Assad’s wrath for years now. Trump has been the main proponent of denying them help. So, am I now supposed to believe he gives two shits about their well-being? Man, get the fuck out of here with the tomfoolery!

Moving on, during Barack Obama’s presidency, Trump constantly used Twitter to try and deter Obama from acting on Syria. Shit, as recently as 2013, Trump asserted that Syria was “not our problem.” Hell, just last week, Rex Tillerson, our current Secretary of State, stated that Assad’s tenure should be “decided by the Syrian people.” Now, the entire administration wants to change course and berate Obama for not doing something about Syria sooner. Man, these clowns have GOT to be fucking kidding me, man! The hypocrisy is so blatant that it literally hurts my head, son.

Look, at some point, Trump has to realize that he’s the President now. He can’t keep blaming the previous administration for issues that are happening under his watch. If Trump really gave a shit about Syria, he wouldn’t have tried so hard to keep their refugees out of our country. In addition, if he were really serious, he would grow some balls and call Vladimir Putin out. Lest we forget, Russia is one of Assad’s biggest allies. Despite this fact, nobody in Trump’s administration has even uttered a word about Putin. Hmmmmmm, I wonder why, son. Could it have anything to do with a congressional investigation? Listen, I’m just saying, bruh.

Ultimately, Trump wanted to ban Syrians from our country, he accused their refugees of being ISIS and now I’m supposed to believe he cares? *Sigh* I truly, truly hate our political system, man. All in all, it’s despicable to politicize death. That’s exactly what Trump and company are doing. Let’s just call a spade a spade, son. LC out.

How About That Obamacare Repeal?

First off, despite the title of today’s post, I’m going to stop referring to the Affordable Care Act as Obamacare. On the real, Republicans have used this phrasing to stigmatize the issue in the minds of their base. This is exactly why a number of GOP voters don’t even realize that Obamacare and ACA are the same damn thing. In any case, now is a good time to laugh at the right-wing. Despite being in control of the presidency AND both houses of Congress, they still couldn’t muster up enough votes to pass the American Health Care Act. I’m sorry, but that’s fucking hilarious, son.

Now, I’d like someone to explain this failure to me. Ever since ACA became law, the GOP has made it their mission to bring it down. I mean, along with taking away women’s rights and banning all Muslims, repealing ACA is at the top of the Republican agenda. So, with that being said, how could they lose in such epic fashion? The GOP literally has home court advantage, son.

Look, they control the House of Representatives, the Senate and the presidency, man! That’s like having Shaquille O’Neal, Wilt Chamberlain and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on the same team, bruh. The Democrats really can’t do shit but cry in a corner. All that, and Republicans STILL couldn’t convince enough members to vote for the new bill. Shit, “pitiful” isn’t even a strong enough word, son.

Moving on, as expected, Donald Trump is lashing out at anyone within arm’s reach. First, he took aim at the Democrats. He blamed them for not supporting ACHA at all. Once he remembered that his party controls everything, he shifted the blame to his own people. Ultimately, he attacked the House Freedom Caucus and Club for Growth and Heritage Action for America for the crushing defeat. All in all, I don’t give a fuck who’s responsible, man. The bill was trash, most Trump supporters actually signed up for ACA and the White House has no idea how to lead. All I know is, if they can’t get this done, they’re going to have a tough road ahead of them.

In the end, shout-out to the GOP for blowing a 3-1 lead. I’m sure the Golden State Warriors would be very proud. Now, was that an unnecessary knock on Stephen Curry and company? Yes, yes it was, son. Big whoop, wanna fight about it? LC out.

Is Shepard Smith The Real MVP?

So, there are a few things I don’t believe I’ll ever see in life: a human being hit “The Note” from Sister Act 2, an actual album from Jay Electronica and someone from Fox News call Donald Trump out on his constant bullshit. Well, I guess I can cross one of those things off of the list, son. I mean, Shepard Smith just shocked the shit out of me yesterday. Watching him eviscerate Trump over his habitual fabrications was must-see-television, man! As expected, the Trump brigade is calling for his head as I write this. However; I’m ecstatic to finally see some GOP members grow a pair. Frankly, their party created Trump and it’s up to them to stop him.

Now, in case anyone missed it, Smith had one simple question for Trump: why does he tell SO MANY LIES? Smith brought up the fact that Trump can’t tweet or publicly speak without saying something wildly inaccurate. As an example, he referenced several statements that Trump made during his awkward ass press conference. He talked about the fact that Trump hasn’t given a good answer about what’s happening with Russia. Trump insists that his administration isn’t in cahoots with Vladimir Putin‘s, but if that was the case, then why was Michael Flynn fired?

Moving on, Smith also slammed Trump’s notion that he had the highest Electoral College victory since Ronald Reagan. Fuck semantics, that simply isn’t true, man. It shouldn’t matter whether or not someone is a Trump supporter, son. Facts are facts, regardless of how anyone feels about them. There is verifiable evidence to disprove A LOT of the information Trump spews into the mainstream. Smith is doing the right thing by taking Trump to task for his nonsensical ramblings.

Keeping it a buck, I was genuinely happy to see this, man. Like, at some point, even right-wing enthusiasts have to see the writing on the wall. Asking someone to be honest is not political, son. Trump is the fucking President, for God‘s sake! We don’t give a fuck about ratings, we don’t give a fuck about baseless claims of “fake news” and we don’t give a fuck about his fragile ego. We just want that man to do his fucking job. As it stands, he’s completely incapable of behaving as an elected official should, man. It’s actually frightening to watch, bruh.

Ultimately, we need more people like Smith. The more Republicans who hold Trump accountable, the better. Since they control Congress and will eventually control the Supreme Court, they’re our biggest line of defense. Keep in mind, I just threw up a little when I wrote that. However; it just is what it is, son. In any case, for today, and today only, Shepard Smith is the real MVP. LC out.

I’m Not Paying For A Wall

I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’M NOT PAYING FOR A WALL! I’M NOT PAYING FOR A WALL!!!

Do these GOP assholes understand what I’m saying right now? The American people have no fucking business paying for Donald Trump‘s imaginary wall along the Mexican border. Look, everything about this wall is ridiculous, son. First, it’s inherently racist. Republicans have painted Mexicans as nothing but a group of rapists and criminals who are here to take everyone’s jobs. Despite the fact that there is no evidence to support this widespread belief, this type of rhetoric has been used to dupe gullible Americans. Now, Congress is trying to make the citizens foot the bill for Trump’s passion project.

Now, every facet of this wall has been problematic from the beginning. During his presidential campaign, Trump constantly said that Mexico would pay for the wall’s construction. With that being said, the Mexican government has made it abundantly clear that no such thing will happen. So, if Mexico basically told us to go fuck ourselves, then who will be responsible for ponying up the money? All I know is, it damn sure won’t be me, son.

Keeping it a buck, my resolve is now even stronger after watching a press conference with Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan. These fools really said this wall is going to cost between $12 billion and $15 billion. Bruh, what? What?! How many billions of dollars?! Man, get these Ronald McDonald-ass clowns the fuck outta here, son! On the real, unless we go to war with Mexico, there’s no way we can make them pay for this tomfoolery. All in all, not one red cent of my tax money better help fund this bullshit, man!

Ultimately, I want the GOP to take their Secure Fence Act and shove it up their asses, bruh. If they want to be bigots against an entire group of people, then tell them to use their own bread, son. I mean, they have more money than all of us anyway. *Sigh* I’m going to go find some bourbon, man. LC out.

C-SPAN: Broadcasting Live From Russia

Bruh, honestly, we, the American people, must be living in the Twilight Zone. Day after day, new situations arise that make me question my sanity, man. Look, all I really want to know is, why is Russia in all of our shit, son? It’s bad enough they purposely hacked us to influence our presidential election, but now they’re fucking with our television networks? Why is Russia becoming so emboldened with the fuck shit and why is America doing nothing about it? On the real, we need to put these clowns back in their place before we find the KGB ordering breakfast at Starbucks.

Now, for those who are unaware, last night, during an online feed of the House of Representatives on C-SPAN, the programming was interrupted by the Kremlin-backed RT channel. Keep in mind, this channel is one of the entities suspected of working with WikiLeaks to disseminate hacked information. Even though C-SPAN stated they’re still investigating the issue, they were quick to say “we don’t believe that we were hacked.” Well, if they’re still trying to find the root cause of the interruption, how do they know whether or not they were hacked? Why are folks always so quick to dismiss Russian meddling? Honestly, I’m beginning to think people want Russian influence on our government. That’s the only reason I can think of as to why certain people just continually shrug these actions off.

In my eyes, if this isn’t Russian hacking, then it’s a HELL of a coincidence, son. After all of the nonsense they pulled during our election, I’m extremely doubtful this is just some random occurrence. With all of the intelligence reports circulating around about Russian tomfoolery, do people really expect me to believe they just happened to broadcast over a faction of our Congress? Man, get the flying fuckity-hot-fuck outta here, son! Anyone who believes that is dumber than Forrest Gump trying to ride a hoverboard.

In the end, my head hurts, man. America is becoming a clown show and all of these countries see it. That’s exactly why Russia feels like they can do whatever they want. We’re about to have an administration that’s too stupid to see they’re getting played. At this rate, my wife may just convince me to go back to the Caribbean after all. LC out.