What The Nazis & Confederacy Have In Common

Ok, I have a question, son. I really want to know why White Nationalists are so enamored with the Nazis and the Confederacy. I mean, we’re talking about two factions who LITERALLY went to war with America. Oh, by the way, both groups lost in epic fashion, man. So, how can they claim to be patriots when they’re embracing groups that were actually at odds with this country? All in all, these facts alone debunk EVERYTHING about this idiotic movement. Way to champion losers, losers!

Now, let’s take a brief trip down memory lane, people. At this point, everyone should know who Adolf Hitler is. During World War II, the Nazi leader thought he wanted smoke and ended up getting completely mopped up. Fam, Hitler was such a bitch, he took his own life instead of facing the consequences of his actions. So, when these White Supremacists wear that swastika, they’re wearing the symbol of a man who got his men killed and then shot himself. By and by, their leader was a fucking coward, man!

Moving on, let’s talk about the Confederacy. These clowncakes literally wanted to secede from the United States. Keeping it a buck, they didn’t want to give up their slaves and thought war was the better option. So, if we add all of this up, these traitors were enemies to America who were all about Black oppression. Ultimately, Robert E. Lee and company had to tuck their tails between their legs and come crawling back to the Union. Real talk, when these fools wave the Confederate flag around now, they’re waving the flag of a group that surrendered. Wow, how noble, son!

In the end, I don’t understand the White Nationalist love affair with losers. The Nazis fell, the Confederacy fell, and now these asshats are draping themselves in cornball memorabilia. Look, I don’t give a fuck about legacy, man. It’s not my fault that these folks’ ancestors were on the wrong side of history. Oh, great-granddad fought for the Confederacy? Guess what? He lost, son. Going forward, I really hope all of these wingdings remember their cowardly predecessors before they uplift their banners. Then again, all losers know how to do is lose, bruh. LC out.

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A Letter To Trump: The Hate ‘On Many Sides’

Dear Donald Trump,

You’ve really dropped the ball on this one, man. I mean, you drop the ball on most things, but you’ve really missed an opportunity here. For someone who claims to be “tough,” your inability to condemn White Supremacists is cowardly at best. Nazi/Ku Klux Klan enthusiasts took over Charlottesville, Virginia and you couldn’t even mention them by name. Instead, you spoke of imaginary hate “on many sides.” All I want to know is, when will you stop cozing up to the bigots who put you in office?

Now, to be clear, racists helped put you in office. Don’t believe me? Just ask David Duke. The former Imperial Wizard of the KKK said as much when he attacked you on Twitter. He was upset that you spoke against the Unite the Right rally, claiming that they’re just fulfilling your vision. Wait, let me say that again, son. The former leader of the KKK believes that the alt-right is fulfilling YOUR vision. At this point, I don’t give a fuck if you believe that you’re racist or not. All you need to know is, racists believe in YOUR message. Frankly, it empowers them to take their bigotry to the streets.

With all of that being said, let’s examine how you’ve handled this situation. After counter-protesters took to the streets to confront your swastika-wearing/Confederate flag-waving supporters, James Alex Fields decided to spring into action. To further the White Nationalist agenda, Fields took his car and plowed into a group of counter-protesters. In the process, he injured 19 people and killed Heather Heyer. Now, after ALL of that, you STILL couldn’t bring yourself to condemn White Supremacists. My God, you’re a fucking disgusting human being, man!

On the real, I’m glad that even Republicans are calling you out on your bullshit. Look, this isn’t the time to pussyfoot on this issue, man. Bruh, it’s so easy for you to call EVERYTHING Radical Islamic Terrorism, but you can’t say a word about domestic terrorism. The fact of the matter is, homegrown terrorists are WAY more dangerous to American citizens than ISIS and al-Qaeda combined! But, here you are, still pandering to your racist ass base instead of comforting the country. All in all, it seems as if bipartisanship knows no bounds, son.

In the end, fuck you, bruh! You’re one of the worst things that’s ever happened to this country, and that’s saying a lot. Keeping it a buck, the current climate of the United States rests squarely on your shoulders. Shit, your rhetoric gave them the platform to rise up. By and by, there aren’t “many sides” here. A White Supremacist murdered a woman and you’re too much of a bitch to admit it. Ultimately, this is exactly what you’re not my President.

Sincerely,

A man who legitimately hates everything about you

Donald Trump’s Administration Is Already Scaring The F*ck Outta Me!

Ever since Donald Trump‘s ascent to the presidency, thanks to the stupid ass Electoral College, I’ve been hearing newly unearthed supporters complain about being labeled racists. In their eyes, they’re being unfairly portrayed as bigots and simply see Trump as a necessary “change” to the political landscape. In addition, I keep reading these dissertations about the disaffected White working-class and how he’s giving them hope. However; when I start to look at the individuals Trump is grooming for his cabinet, fuck ALL of that “woe is me” bullshit, son! Trump is everything people with morals thought he was: a racist, sexist and xenophobic piece of shit! If anyone still doesn’t understand that based on his appointment of Steve Bannon as Chief Strategist, then they’re part of the fucking problem, son!

Now, where do I even start with this Bannon clown, man? So, for the last five years, Bannon has presided over Breitbart News. This particular website has been the Holy Grail for the alt-right political movement. If anyone hates themselves, just take a quick gander at that shit-hole of a site. The deplorable turds who assist Bannon in spreading his hate speech have written such dubious articles as “Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive and Crazy” and “Gabby Giffords: The Gun Control Movement’s Human Shield.” In addition, they have an entire section dedicated to perpetuating the myth of Black-on-Black crime and proclaimed the “glorious heritage” of the Confederate Flag two weeks after Dylann Roof killed nine churchgoers in South Carolina.

In regards to Bannon himself, he’s infamous for such dastardly acts as keeping his kids out of a particular school to avoid having them around Jews and choking his ex-wife back in 1996. To make matters worse, since his appointment, White supremacists like David Duke and Richard Spencer have expressed joy at Bannon’s newfound position. To them, this solidifies Trump’s dedication to the cause. So, to cover it all, Bannon hates minorities, women, gays, Jews and anyone else who doesn’t look like him. That man is now Trump’s Chief Strategist. I want everyone to let that sink in, for a moment.

In the end, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What the fuck, man? What the entire fuck, man?! Miss me with all of the explanations for why Trump’s campaign wasn’t built on bigotry. From now on, if anybody tries to make that argument to me, I’ll just mention Steve Bannon’s name. He completely shuts down all of those half-ass theories, man. Good day. Wait, no, it’s not a fucking good day, son! I’m out!