Amanda Nunes Is The GOAT

Look, there are a few things in life that can always be debated. We can debate whether Coca-Cola or Pepsi is the better drink (it’s definitely Pepsi). We can debate whether Tyson Fury got up before the ten-count against Deontay Wilder (he definitely did). Hell, we can even debate whether Killmonger was right in Black Panther (he definitely was). However, there’s one topic that isn’t up for debate, son: Amanda Nunes is the greatest women’s MMA fighter ever. Fucking ever, man!

Ok, by now, anyone familiar with MMA should know that Nunes knocked Cris Cyborg the fuck out. Now, I’ll be honest, fam. On the real, I didn’t give Nunes much of a chance, bruh. Like, I legit looked at Cyborg like the Terminator, son. But, to be fair, I also believed that if anyone was capable of pulling off an upset, it was Nunes. Real talk, I gave Nunes a slight glimmer of hope because she hits fucking hard, man! So, in my head, if by some miracle she caught Cyborg with the right punch, she might be able to pull it off. Well, I was right AND wrong, folks. Yes, she did catch Cyborg with the right punch. But, she also caught Cyborg with like 20 other “right” punches, people. I mean, Nunes beat the SHIT out of her, brethren!

All I know is, after this victory, Nunes is CLEARLY the GOAT, son. Now, I’m not just saying that because of her victory over Cyborg. Nah, I’m saying that because of her victory over Cyborg AND all of the other legends she’s beat, man. Keeping it a buck, her resume is STACKED, fam. Shit, let’s go through some of the women she’s conquered, bruh:

  • Cris Cyborg: Former Strikeforce, Invicta FC and UFC Featherweight Champion
  • Ronda Rousey: Former Strikeforce and UFC Bantamweight Champion
  • Valentina Shevchenko: Current UFC Flyweight Champion
  • Miesha Tate: Former Strikeforce and UFC Bantamweight Champion
  • Julia Budd: Current Bellator Featherweight Champion
  • Germaine de Randamie: Former UFC Featherweight Champion

For God‘s sake, what else do I have to say, son? Nunes took out 6 of the most notable champions in MMA history. From my vantage point, this puts her FAR ahead of her competition, man. At this point, Holly Holm is the only one who hasn’t taken the L yet. Side note, that’s probably coming, fam. All I can say is, I don’t see Holm beating Nunes. Anyway, it’s time for us to acknowledge that Nunes is the greatest, bruh. Hell, it’s not even fucking close, folks.

In the end, all hail the GOAT! Ultimately, Nunes solidified her place in history, son. By and by, I was hyped as shit to see it, man. At the end of the day, that’s all I have to say, fam. Viva la Amanda Nunes! That is all. LC out.

P.S. Happy New Year, you filthy animals! Good day!

Advertisements

Get Pepsi & Kendall Jenner The F*ck Outta Here!

*Sigh* Damn, son. Why did it have to be Pepsi, man? I mean, I’m one of the people who can actually tell the difference between Pepsi and Coca-Cola. With that being said, Pepsi is without question the superior product, bruh. However; that tidbit can’t save them from getting this work, fam. Look, all I want to know is, what the fuckity-fuck were Pepsi and Kendall Jenner thinking? Now, I’ve seen some strange things in my life, but I’m pretty sure an ice-cold soda won’t stop this country from doing fuck shit.

So, I don’t even know where to begin with the tomfoolery, son. Shit, I could start with Skip Marley for donating his “Lions” song to this ridiculous ass commercial. I could talk about the randomness of the Asian man playing the cello or the hijab-wearing Muslim woman freaking out over her pictures. I could talk about the “joy” on people’s faces while they “protest” injustice. Look, I could rip this commercial apart from so many different angles, but I have to aim my crosshairs at the soda itself.

Now, maybe I’m dumb, but can someone please explain to me how a Pepsi can save the world? Listen, before I continue, I’m pretty sure this company doesn’t literally think handing out soda will solve all of our issues. However; I do think it perpetuates a dangerous ideology. Ultimately, being nice to the establishment won’t stop them from fucking us over.

To be clear, sucking up to authority won’t stop police from killing unarmed Black people. Sucking up to authority won’t stop our government from violating the rights of Muslims, women, minorities, poor people and the LGBTQ community. Keeping it a buck, real protest isn’t convenient and it damn sure isn’t jovial, fam. People are really out here fighting for basic human rights and Pepsi just turned it all into a fucking joke, son. All I know is, everyone involved with this nonsense should be fired immediately, man.

In the end, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I’m just… I’m just tired of the day-to-day stupidity, bruh. It’s just so fucking tiring and irritating, son. I quit. I… I fucking quit. LC out.