What The F*ck Is Happening In Libya?!

Man, what the fuck is going on right now, son?! Like, my eyes and ears MUST be deceiving me, fam! Look, there can’t be any possible way that slavery still exists, right? Right?! Listen, at this point, I’m not going to pretend like I know all of the particulars about this issue. However; all I know is, Africans are being sold in Libya right now. Yes, that’s right, bruh. In 2017, refugees and migrants are being sold, people. All in all, I don’t even know what to say or do, folks.

Ok, like I said in the first paragraph, I’m not even going to pretend like I’m some expert on the subject. I’ve read a bunch of articles about what’s going on and I can’t make heads or tails of it, son. Now, from what I’ve seen, a number of people trace the problem to Muammar Gaddafi, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Basically, as the theory goes, by taking Gaddafi out of power, it caused a vacuum that led to the rise of human trafficking. Keeping it a buck, this idea makes sense, but I’m not going to act like I have an innate knowledge of the climate over there.

Moving on, due to issues like war and poverty, a lot of refugees are leaving countries like Nigeria, Sudan and Senegal. For them, the goal is to make it to Europe and seek a better life. However; instead of freedom, they’re being captured and sold to the lowest bidder. Like, some people are being sold for as low as $400, son! Shit, I can’t even make this shit up, man! It’s literally some of the wildest shit I’ve ever heard, fam! I truly, truly, truly can’t believe this is all real, bruh!

Now, for one second, I want to turn my attention to Donald Trump. Look, this dude still doesn’t understand that his words have weight in the real world. Listen, his Twitter jabs aren’t some game that can just be ignored, son. On the real, they have actual implications, man. Ok, we all know about his crusade against the media. Just the other day, he went on a tirade about CNN International. Per usual, he called them “fake news” and a bunch of other random shit.

Fast forward to today, some Libyan news outlets are using Trump’s words to dispute CNN’s reporting of the slave trade in Libya. That’s fucking dangerous, fam! My God, this isn’t a joke, bruh! This clown’s words are having a DIRECT influence on how a country is reporting about MASSIVE human rights violations! I… I just don’t know what to say, bruh. My mind literally can’t comprehend what’s happening in our world today. My sense of understanding has been completely shot, folks.

In the end, what do we do about this? Seriously, what can we do to put an end to this travesty? Real talk, if anyone has insight on how we can help, please let us know. Ultimately, there’s no way this shit can continue to occur, son. NO human being deserves this shit, man! Plain and simple. By and by, the time for this to end is NOW, fam. That is all. LC out.

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Ted Koppel Is A G… Ask Sean Hannity

Man, I rock with Ted Koppel. Nah, for real, for real, I rock with Ted Koppel, son. After watching his interview with Sean Hannity on CBS Sunday Morning, I was excited to see an actual journalist deconstruct today’s media. As it currently stands, opinions have replaced facts in our news and it’s exceedingly dangerous, man. With that being said, I applaud Koppel for calling out Hannity to his face. However; Hannity and Fox News aren’t the only ones to criticize. In my eyes, MSNBCCNN and countless other “news” networks all share some of the blame. Ultimately, all opinion shows disguised as news are bad for America.

Now, I won’t lie, son, when it comes to this subject, I argue a lot with my wife and my mother. To me, I see no difference between Fox News and MSNBC. Yes, the ideology is drastically different between the two channels, but they both engage in the same brand of propaganda. All jokes aside, Bill O’Reilly and Chris Matthews are the same person, man. They both have definitive beliefs and they both refuse to listen to any guest with a conflicting point of view. Instead of acknowledging someone else’s sentiment, they’d rather just cut them off or speak over them. On the real, I challenge anyone to watch both of their shows back-to-back. Once their respective dogma is removed, it becomes apparent that their approach to “news” is strikingly similar.

Look, didn’t I just scold Rachel Maddow on this very site for engaging in the tomfoolery? I mean, she took two pages of Donald Trump‘s 2005 tax return and spun an entire story out of nothing. Outside of quoting how much money he made and how much he paid in taxes, Maddow had no other spec of news to report. She just launched a series of hypotheticals that were designed to create an unproven narrative in the audience’s mind. *Sigh* I just want the damn news, son! Can I get that without someone trying to shape how I’m supposed to interpret it?

Moving on, I just want to make one thing clear. Is my blog based on my own personal point of view? Absolutely. With that being said, I’m not a journalist, man. I’m just a dude with an opinion and immaculate WiFi, son. I’m simply out here reacting to the world as it happens. We, the people, need the media to tell us the unbiased truth. That’s the only way we can truly make sense of everything. All I know is, I’m a firm believer that opinion-based media is largely responsible for the division in our country. The public can’t come together when information is always being spun and misrepresented.

In the end, Ted Koppel is a G, man. He’s one of the few who’s able to call a spade a spade. Now, if more journalists took this stance on the news, then maybe we’d actually have a shot of figuring out what’s really going on out here. But, then again, in the words of Desus Nice, by Bronx bredren, facts don’t matter. LC out.

P.S. This is very random, but shout-out to Ghostface Killah, son. Look, the entire time I was writing this post, I kept hearing the line “hit mics like Ted Koppel” in my head. With that being said, everyone should go listen to “Mighty Healthy” after reading this. That is all.

Get Van Jones The F*ck Outta Here!

On the real, this Get (Blank) The Fuck Outta Here series is becoming way too common, man. I feel like I’m doing at least one new edition every week, son. In any case, I never thought I’d see the day when I would have to turn my crosshairs on Van Jones. The CNN-contributor has long been a vocal opponent of Donald Trump. However; after Trump’s speech on Tuesday, Jones decided to tuck his tail in between his legs. In one instant, Jones invalidated every stance he previously took. How? By insinuating that one speech could possibly change the course of Trump’s administration.

Now, Van Jones’ foolishness is baffling for a few reasons. He’s the same man who coined the phrase “Whitelash” while trying to explain why White voters backed Trump. Previously, he’s been very critical of Trump’s rhetoric and decision-making. Fast forward to Tuesday, Trump finally gave a speech in which he didn’t behave like an absolute child. All of a sudden, Jones changed his tune and said Trump “became President of the United States” after his performance. Taking it a step further, Jones praised Trump’s tribute to fallen Navy SEAL Ryan Owens. He called it “one of the most extraordinary moments you have ever seen in American politics, period.” This statement is mind-boggling because it completely negates the fact that Trump got that man killed in the first place.

Look, are we really supposed to be moved by the standing ovation for Owen’s widow, Carryn Owens? Her husband would still be alive if Trump’s administration wasn’t so poorly prepared for that raid in Yemen. Owens and an assortment of children, who no one talks about, ended up dying for outdated al-Qaeda intelligence. For example, one of the bomb-making videos recovered in that raid has been online since 2007. Was that a good enough reason for a soldier to die? I didn’t think so. Shut the fuck up, Van Jones!

Listen, Van, if you ever happen to read this, let me speak to you directly. Did Trump’s speech make you forget about Michael Flynn? Did Trump’s speech make you forget about the fact that Jeff Sessions perjured himself in regards to his contact with Russia? Did Trump’s speech make you forget that he’s trying to rewrite the Muslim Ban with newer parameters? Did Trump’s speech make you forget that Steve Bannon literally said he’s trying to “deconstruct” the administration? Man, AIN’T SHIT CHANGED! I refuse to believe that you’re THAT dumb to fall for a dude who was simply reading off of a teleprompter.

In the end, Van Jones played himself. Anytime someone loses their credibility, it’s almost impossible to get it back, son. All in all, I hope Jones has fun being a clown. Ultimately, that’s exactly what he is now. LC out.

Say It With Me: Alexandre Bissonnette Is A Terrorist

So, it goes without saying, but the media is having a very hard time right now. Any time regular news outlets try to call Donald Trump and company out on their bullshit, they’re branded as “fake news.” On the real, the notion of “fake news” has become so prevalent these days, Trump is making it a point to bar his surrogates from even going on CNN. According to the White House, they don’t want to send their people to a place where they can’t promote their “agenda.” Those are actual words from an actual press release, son. Now, the wildest part of all of this is the fact that their preferred outlets are the biggest perpetrators of false reporting. Case in point, take a look at how Fox News and Breitbart News handled the Alexandre Bissonnette story.

Ok, before I continue, let’s make one thing clear: Bissonnette is a fucking terrorist. I’m not here to sugarcoat anything or downplay the situation. This coward walked into the Quebec Islamic Cultural Center this past Sunday, murdered six people and critically injured five others. Now, when Dylann Roof massacred nine people in South Carolina‘s Emanuel AME Church, we all rightfully mourned. However; I see no such empathy or sympathy for the Muslims who lost their lives in Canada. The hypocrisy is absolutely disgusting, man.

Look, make no mistake here. Bissonnette is a well-known sympathizer of all things racist, sexist and xenophobic. The people who know him describe him as a dude who was enthralled by Trump, Marine Le Pen and embraced far-right ideologies. In addition, he frequently made disparaging comments about immigrants and women on social media. With all of that being said, this fuckboy purposely went into that mosque to kill Muslims. THAT is an act of terrorism, plain and simple.

Now, when Fox News and Breitbart got a hold of this story, they were quick to label the possible suspect a man of “Moroccan descent.” Come to find out, the man they’re referring to is a witness who was helping authorities. Even after Canadian police officially shot down the erroneous story, Fox News didn’t immediately retract their false narrative. To make matters even worse, Breitbart is still insinuating that a Moroccan man carried out the attack. Keep in mind, Steve Bannon, the real President, is the former executive chair of Breitbart. To make matters EVEN WORSE, Sean SpicerU.S. press secretary, used this situation as justification for Trump’s Muslim Ban, despite the fact that a Muslim wasn’t even the fucking culprit!

Son, what planet are we living on right now?! I don’t want to hear shit about “fake news” anymore. We, the people, are watching facts and sensibility be destroyed right before our very eyes. Like, it’s getting to the point where it’s hard for me to focus, man. I truly can’t understand how some people don’t see the writings on the wall. *Sigh* All jokes aside, I’m starting to feel my depression creep back in. I need to get away from this fucking country, son. LC out.

Angela The Scammer: The Legend Of Blac Chyna

Ok, so, I’m well aware of the fact my posts normally deal with logic, facts and sound arguments. However; fuck ALL of that today, son! I’m just here for the jokes, man. I’m here for all of the lulz, memes and slanderous comments. While I don’t believe not, nann, none of this story about Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian, I still think it’s a comical ass situation to laugh at. If Angela Renée Kardashian really ran off on the plug twice, like Rob is insinuating, he’s without a doubt the dumbest man walking the Earth right now.

Now, like I’ve said before, I’m not here for the facts, man. I just want to laugh at some fuckery. Apparently, Rob came home one day and Chyna hit him with the Harry Houdini. When he looked around, she was gone, their newborn daughter Dream Kardashian was gone, and even the nursery he built was gone. This comes after a “hacker” leaked a bunch of her Instagram DM’s, which seem to show her calling Rob all types of “fat loser” and hollering at random rappers. To make matters funnier, excuse me, worse, the “hacker” seemed to expose her plan to leave Rob after a year.

So, I just have one question for Rob: what the fuck did he think was going to happen, son? This man decided to date the ex-girlfriend/baby mother of his sister’s current boyfriend and thought shit was going to be cool? He decided to impregnate a former stripper/current Fit Tea promoter and thought she wasn’t after the money? Wait, did anyone actually think this relationship was real in the first place? Man… Get. The. Flying. Fuck. Out. Of. Here! Is this even news? Why am I seeing outlets like CNN covering this shit? I swear, as a country, we are WAAAAAY too invested in whatever fuck shit the Kardashian’s are doing. At this point, I’m a firm believer that EVERYTHING they do is for a storyline. With that being said, if Blac Chyna is nothing more than an opportunist, then that’s exactly what they asked for. That family has done nothing but mine everyone’s business for attention. If there’s any doubt about that, just go ask Lamar Odom.

In the end, Angela took the Jedi mantel from Joanne The Scammer and ran off with all of Rob’s duckets and feelings. All we can do now is sit back, laugh and then move on to some shit that’s actually important. Good day.

Pastor Mark Burns: The Real Joanne The Scammer

Listen, I can’t fully explain to everyone how much joy I get out of watching stupid people crash and burn. When an imbecile gets caught out there in a flowerbed of nonsense, I’m absolutely positive an angel receives its wings. With that being said, I’d like to personally thank Pastor Mark Burns for reaching the final level of sideshow clown. Now that his fraudulent history has been exposed for the world to see, hopefully this means the public won’t have to see his cartoonish face any longer.

Before I continue, if anyone out there is unfamiliar with Joanne The Scammer, do the world a favor and look her up. As always, Google is everybody’s best friend and will gladly display the hilarity that ensues when she’s on the screen. I mean, who doesn’t enjoy beating up an ex-lover’s new significant other and a good credit card scam? With that being said, thank you, Joanne, for showing us the ways of the Jedi when it comes to being messy and petty.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, it’s incredibly funny seeing Mark Burns embrace all of Joanne’s philosophies. Side note, with all of the tomfoolery he’s gotten himself into, I refuse to call Burns a pastor anymore. He doesn’t deserve that distinction, son. In any case, Burns’ claim to fame is making a fool of himself in support of Donald Trump. My first encounter with him came during the Republican National Convention. This dude took the stage and literally prayed for Jesus to defeat Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party. Since then, he’s been on a media tour, doing interviews and sharing racist cartoons of Hillary. However; just when I thought I’d have to break my television in order to escape the madness, Burns completely imploded on CNN.

During an interview with Victor Blackwell, all of Burns’ lies came to the forefront. By now, I already knew he got busted for lying about being a member of the Kappa Alpha Psi fraternity. Come to find out, that is the least of this man’s fairy tales. In addition to his other fibs, this guy lied about graduating from North Greenville University AND lied about serving six years in the Army Reserve. In actuality, he attended the aforementioned school for one semester and spent a brief amount of time in the National Guard. Look, this dummy can’t be serious, man! Did he not realize his colorful imagination would be exposed? That’s like me saying I have a hit record in Austria like that can’t be fact checked, man. I mean, if someone is going to fabricate their life, at least do it in a way that can’t be easily debunked, son. Now, Burns is looking like the idiot I always knew he was.

In the end, I can’t even say I’m surprised, man. This is just another illustration of the comical campaign Trump has run. Trump’s presidential bid has been nothing but a bucket of Forrest Gump logic. Wait, just call him Forrest Trump, bruh! That’s how stupid this entire experience has been, son. I guess we can now use Mark Burns as another example of Trump’s profound ineptitude. Good day.

Donald Trump Loves The Blacks

Honestly, son, when is enough really enough? How much bullshit can one man spew before people see him for who he is? At this point, I legitimately can’t take anyone who supports Donald Trump seriously. For me, anyone deciding to give this guy their vote has already told me everything I need to know about them. Furthermore, in my eyes, any minority who’s onboard with Trump’s platform is either oblivious or complicit to his inflammatory language. In any case, his latest pitch to Black people further crystallizes the fact this man CANNOT be our next president.

Now, this past Monday, at a rally in Akron, Ohio, Trump decided to “speak” to Black people in front of a mostly-White audience. According to him, living conditions for the Black community are so horrendous in this country, we’d be much better off by voting for him. In his depiction of our current state, he insinuated our lives are nothing more than complete hellholes. He brought up poverty, bad education and crime at “levels nobody has seen” as some sort of justification for why we need him. In his eyes, all of these “events” have occurred under the watch of the Democrats. With that being said, apparently, the only way for us to have our slice of the American Dream is to elect him into office.

Look, I have SO many issues with his statements I don’t even know where to start, son. First, his depiction of Black life in America is DRASTICALLY exaggerated. Even during an interview with Anderson Cooper on CNN, he tried to pass off some fraudulent statistic about 40% of African-Americans living in poverty. When Cooper corrected him by saying the percentage is actually 26%, Trump’s reaction was to say there wasn’t a big discrepancy between the two numbers. Is this dude fucking kidding, man? A difference of 14% is a HUGE difference if these are the “facts” he’s using to justify his half baked theories. He’s essentially trying to say almost half of the Black people in this country are living in poverty, when in actuality, the number is much closer to a quarter. In addition, how can he blame the Democrats for all of our “issues” when instances such as the crack epidemic and Rockerfeller Drug Laws happened under Ronald Reagan and Nelson Rockerfeller, respectively? In case Trump forgot, both of those individuals were very Republican, man. Basically, these hugely, and negatively, influential time periods happened under Republican watch. Trump can thank his own party for a good portion of the poor treatment my people have faced in this country.

Next, how dare this man try to have this type of conversation in a room full of White people. He doesn’t have the wherewithal to come to our communities and talk with us directly, but thinks it’s alright to pass judgment in front of our Caucasian counterparts? To make matters worse, Corey Lewandowski, Trump’s former campaign manager, came out and said Trump won’t visit Black communities because it wouldn’t be a “safe environment.” Good fucking Lord, man, the hits just keep on coming! So, this presidential nominee is asking for our vote and somehow thinks thoroughly disrespecting us is the right move? I literally can’t comprehend how he or his aids think. He’s spreading fallacies while berating us and this is somehow supposed to endear him to our people? Get this fool the flying fuck out of here, man.

Finally, in the coup de grâce of asshole, this past Saturday, Trump brought the tragic killing of Nykea Aldridge into the political atmosphere. Now, for anyone who missed this, Aldridge is Dwyane Wade‘s cousin who was hit by a stray bullet during a gang shooting in Chicago. Horrifically, the mother-of-four was pushing her youngest child’s stroller when the incident occurred. Now, instead of simply sending condolences to her family in their time of grief, Trump used this situation as an opportunity to send another pitch to Black people. According to his logic, her death is somehow “proof” Black people will vote for him. All jokes aside, I’m so offended by this ploy that I can’t properly put it into words. There is absolutely NO depth this man won’t sink to. This woman just passed away and he couldn’t wait to politicize her death. On the real, disgusting doesn’t even begin to describe this type of tactic, son. I’m convinced this clown doesn’t have a soul at all.

All in all, fuck this dude, man. There’s really no other way for me to say it. In addition, fuck anyone who supports Trump too. In all seriousness, if I have a personal relationship with you and you support Donald Trump, lose my number, unfollow me on social media and forget any other form of communication. This isn’t about politics anymore. This man is a toxic human being and I refuse to associate with anyone who indulges in his brand of divisiveness. Good day.