What Is Kyrie Irving Doing?

So, I won’t lie, son. I’m confused about all of this Kyrie Irving kerfuffle, man. Like, I truly don’t understand what this man is doing right now. I don’t get why he would want to leave LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. Frankly, it better be for personal reasons, fam. If not, this has to rank HIGH on the list of Dumbest Moves In NBA History.

Now, I won’t go into a lot of depth with this story, man. At this point, if people aren’t aware of the chaos in Cleveland right now, then they probably don’t care about basketball. With that being said, I question the motives of Kyrie’s desire to leave. From a basketball standpoint, it makes NO sense to me, fam. I mean, he’s coming off of three straight Finals appearances, where his team actually secured one title in the process. Not to mention, his last shot in Game 7 of the 2016 Finals is one for the ages. All in all, he’s an established winner on this team, son.

In any case, the rampant rumor is that he no longer wants to be in LeBron’s shadow. Apparently, he wants to run his own team and “can’t” fully flourish as a sidechick. Now, there are a few things wrong with that logic, son. First, Kyrie was The Man in Cleveland during his first three seasons in the league. Guess what? The team was fucking turrible, bruh.

Real talk, the year before LeBron came back, the Cavs only won 33 games, man. The very next year, the win total jumped to 53 and the squad went to the Finals. In addition, Kyrie’s stats weren’t drastically different from the previous season, fam. Meaning, a lot of that improvement came as a result of LeBron being on the team. Look, facts are facts, son. It just is what it is, people.

To add to that point, Kyrie is also coming off of his best year, statistically speaking. So, I’m really not understanding what he gains by leaving the organization. Listen, I highly, HIGHLY doubt he’ll get to the Finals by himself. He’ll either have to get past LeBron or the Golden State Warriors. On the real, neither of those scenarios are realistic, folks. It doesn’t matter if he plays for the New York Knicks, San Antonio Spurs, Miami Heat or Minnesota Timberwolves. He won’t sniff another Finals by abandoning ship, son.

In the end, Kyrie has to ask himself one question: does he want to win or be The Man? If he wants to win, then he needs to sit his ass down in Cleveland. If he wants to be The Man, I’m pretty sure my Knicks would gladly take him. Shit, I’d wholeheartedly root for him in that situation. However; I know it goes against common sense, man. Ultimately, all of this tomfoolery is making it easier for the Warriors to repeat, son. That is all. LC out.

The Worst NBA Playoffs Ever

So, to begin, this post isn’t an indictment on the Golden State Warriors or the Cleveland Cavaliers. Well, not entirely, son. In actuality, today’s sermon is an indictment on the rest of the NBA. I mean, c’mon son! Where was the competition this year, man?! Look, let’s be real for a second, fam. Did anyone really believe that the Finals would feature two different teams? Yeah, I didn’t think so, bruh. All I know is, the remaining NBA teams need to start pulling their collective weight. Otherwise, there isn’t any need to have seasons anymore.

Now, let’s review this year’s playoffs, man. The Dubs and the Cavs entered the Finals with a combined 24-1 record. Like, that’s just stupid, son. Realistically, there weren’t any teams that could stand up to these dudes in either conference. The Washington Wizards can talk all of the shit they want, but they couldn’t get pass the Boston Celtics, bruh. Also, speaking of the Celtics, they literally had one fluke win against the Cavs. Other than that, the entire series was complete and utter domination.

Moving on, I originally heard all of these theories about how the Toronto Raptors would give the Cavs static. Man, those fools couldn’t even rattle off a competent game, fam. On the flip side, the Houston Rockets were supposed to be able to challenge the Dubs. Well, James Harden looked like a scrub for most of that series. In addition, even if Kawhi Leonard never got injured, I’d bet money that the San Antonio Spurs couldn’t win more than two games against the Warriors. Ultimately, outside of some devastating injury or an ill-advised trade, the Cavs and the Dubs will probably keep facing each other in the Finals. All I know is, it’s a fucking buzz kill, bruh.

Keeping it a buck, I was a baby in the 1980‘s, so I can’t talk about the matchup between the Larry Bird-led Celtics and the Magic Johnson-led Los Angeles Lakers. So, maybe this is how people felt during that era too. In any case, I was of age during the Michael Jordan era. Now, even though MJ won all of those titles, at least the games were competitive, man. Look, there was absolutely NO competition in this year’s playoffs, son. The outcome was essentially a foregone conclusion. By and by, the NBA needs to improve in order to keep my attention, fam.

In the end, I just want to see good basketball, bruh. That’s it. All jokes aside, only Warriors or Cavs “fans” could have possibly enjoyed this postseason. Side note, I put “fans” in quotations because NONE of these new clowns are really fans. Listen, don’t talk to me about the Dubs if Run TMC doesn’t ring a bell. Don’t talk to me about the Cavs if Mo Williams doesn’t conjure up memories of mediocrity. Anyway, now is the time for teams to “tool up,” word to Marlo Stanfield. On the real, the game can’t survive in its current form, man. I was fucking bored this season, son. *Sigh* LC out.

LBJ To Miami vs. KD To Golden State

So, I guess I’m about to jump into this debate, huh? I mean, ever since Kevin Durant joined the Golden State Warriors, people have compared his decision to LeBron James going to the Miami Heat. Look, enough is enough, man. Now, on face value, their respective decisions may seem “similar,” but in reality, they’re drastically different. With that being said, it’s time for me to dispel this myth, fam.

First, let’s start with LeBron. The year before he joined the Heat, his Cleveland Cavaliers team had a 61-21 record. They were the top team in the Eastern Conference and we all thought they going to meet Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA Finals. However; LeBron and company ran into the Boston Celtics in the Semifinals. Needless to say, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett gave them that work, fam. By and by, the Cavs fell in six games.

On the flip side, the Heat had a 47-35 record that same season. They were third in their division and fifth in the East. Also, when they got to the playoffs, they lost to the Celtics in the first round and in five games. So, when LeBron switched teams, he wasn’t joining some powerhouse, son. On the real, they only became a juggernaut after he got there, man.

Now, let’s talk about Durant. The year before he joined the Warriors, his team had a 55-27 record. They were first in their division and third in the Western Conference. Now, here’s where they story gets stupid, fam. His team had a 3-1 lead over the Warriors in the Conference Finals, but then KD CHOKED! Shit, people love to blame Russell Westbrook for everything, but these same people ignore the fact that KD went 10-31 from the field in a Game 6. Keep in mind, the game was in Oklahoma City and it would’ve ended the series. So, if KD didn’t fall flat on his face, then he might’ve won a ring with the Thunder.

Once again, on the flip side, the Warriors had a 73-9 record that same season. Now, for anyone counting, that’s the best regular season record in NBA history. Honestly, they only went after KD because they choked against the Cavs in the Finals and gave up their own 3-1 lead. So, two factions of chokers decided to band together to ensure they don’t fail again.

Ok, now that I’ve laid out all of the information, let me sum this up for everyone. LeBron went to a weaker team and helped to turn them into a champion. Durant went to a championship caliber team, a squad he personally lost to, in hopes of getting that elusive ring. Keeping it a buck, I really don’t see how people compare these two moves. They don’t resemble each other at all, son. By and by, KD took the easiest way out. It just is what it is, fam.

In the end, I’m tired of defending LeBron, son. Listen, I’m not even a Cavs fan, bruh! Ultimately, I’m sick of people making assertions without any type of discernible context. All in all, everyone needs to do some basic research before they speak. That way, they don’t seem as dumb when they present their “hot takes.” In any case, the Finals will probably end tonight, man. We all need to enjoy them while they last. LC out.

Hey, Cleveland: Don’t Get Swept

Now, as I’m sure everyone can see, the Cleveland Cavaliers are not going to defend their NBA title. I mean, keeping it a buck, the Finals were over before they even began, man. Ok, yes, I’m fully aware of what happened last season, but there’s NO WAY a Golden State Warriors team with Kevin Durant, Stephen Curry AND Klay Thompson could lose, son. With that being said, as of right now, the Cavs should have one goal: don’t get swept. Look, the Dubs are marching towards history and LeBron James and company don’t want to be on the wrong side of that story, fam.

So, after last night’s game, the Warriors are now 15-0 in this year’s playoffs. In addition, out of those 15 wins, they’ve won 12 of those games by double digits. I mean, that shit is plain ridiculous, son. As it stands, if/when they win Game 4 on Friday, they’ll be the first team in NBA history to go undefeated in the playoffs. Side note, if/when that happens, I’m going to write an entire post about why this was the worst postseason ever. In any case, the Cavs need to make sure that doesn’t happen, son. Listen, I truly doubt that the defending champions could live with themselves if they got blanked on the highest stage, man.

Ultimately, nothing else needs to be said here. Look, the objective is “simple,” son: don’t get swept, Cleveland. Now, for clarification, I put “simple” is quotations because there’s not a damn thing easy about beating these Warriors, fam. I mean, look at what KD did to them last night, bruh. The Cavs were up by seven in the final minutes and that seven-foot mic stand just killed their hopes and dreams. Anyway, I wouldn’t bet a single dollar on this, but I believe the Cavs will win Game 4. In the end, that’ll be as close as they get to a championship, man. LC out.

Get Jason Whitlock The F*ck Outta Here!

Ok, to be clear, I don’t like Jason Whitlock, son. On the real, in addition to his preposterous social commentary, his sports analysis is also pretty trash. However; I’m not here to talk about some basketball “hot take” right now. In actuality, Whitlock needs to get flamed for the fuck shit he said about LeBron James and racism. Ultimately, these networks need to stop letting their “token” Black guys speak for the community. All I know is, Jason Whitlock doesn’t speak for me or anyone who thinks like me.

Now, for anyone who missed it, LeBron made the news the other day for something outside of ball. Apparently, some piece of shit racist thought it was a good idea to write “nigger” on his Los Angeles home. Thankfully, neither he or his family were present. Anyway, after this ordeal, LeBron was very candid with the media about the ramifications of this act. He spoke about how racism will always be a problem in America, regardless of an individual’s monetary status. In any case, with all of that being said, Jason Whitlock found a way to disagree.

So, in response to LeBron’s comments, Whitlock asserted that LeBron doesn’t face racism because he’s rich. Apparently, when a minority adds a couple of zeroes to their net worth, prejudice and bigotry just magically disappear. I guess Whitlock is not familiar with the story of Dr. Dre being falsely accused of brandishing a gun and getting handcuffed in his own driveway. I guess he’s not familiar with the story of Wyclef Jean getting handcuffed in a case of mistaken identity. I guess he’s not familiar with the story of Just Blaze getting pulled over by police and questioned about the “legitimacy” of his vehicle. Nah, I guess rich Black people never have any problems at all, son.

Listen, I’m not going to be the one to sit here and pretend like rich people deal with the same issues as the disenfranchised. However; material possessions don’t change people’s viewpoints. If a White person hates minorities, a bank account statement is not going to change that. In fact, writing “nigger” on LeBron’s house is a reminder that his money doesn’t matter. In the heart of the person who wrote it, LeBron is still considered “less than.” So, cut the fucking shit, Whitlock!

In the end, Black people like Jason Whitlock make me sick. If he doesn’t want to engage in racial issues, then just shut the fuck up, man! Clearly, we don’t need him on our journey towards equality. By and by, like LaVar Ball said, Whitlock shouldn’t comment on “anything but snacks.” Now, I’ll just sit back and let the “body shaming” brigade come and get me for that last comment. LC out.

Dion Waiters Is The Real MVP

So, I won’t lie, son. I was super inspired after reading Dion Waitersarticle on The Players’ Tribune. Look, Waiters spoke with a level of honesty that put all of his thoughts and behaviors into perspective. All I can say is, after reading this article, I now completely understand why he plays the way that he does. In addition, I can also say, he’s definitely earned my respect, man.

Now, before I continue, let me keep it a buck, son. On the real, I used to KILL Waiters for his play on the court. During last year’s playoffs, when he was still with the Oklahoma City Thunder, I criticized the HELL out of him, fam. Like, he was either incredible or fucking terrible, man! There was no in between. Frankly, I feel like if OKC got more consistent play out of him, they would’ve finished off the Golden State Warriors in the Western Conference Finals.

Ok, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I must admit that Waiters’ candor was surprising. He outlined his background coming up in Philadelphia, and spoke openly about his trials and tribulations. He spoke about such hardships as losing both of his parents AND his best friend Rhamik to needless violence. With all of the chaos around him, he used an “irrational” sense of confidence to propel him out of his situation. In his mind, if he didn’t big himself up, there was no way he was going to rise above his surroundings.

Look, a lot of things Waiters said hit home for me. Listen, anyone who is familiar with growing up in dysfunction knows that belief can be a powerful ally. If we don’t believe that we can make something of ourselves, then we’ll never get away from what plagues us. A lot of times, that fire is the only thing that keeps us going. Without it, we may have nothing to hope for. Waiters clearly understands this and it’s helped him to reach his goals.

In the end, I take my hat off to Dion Waiters. Also, he’s absolutely right about one other assertion: no one wanted to see the Miami Heat in the first round of the playoffs. Son, judging by the way they were playing before he got injured, they would’ve given headaches to either the Boston Celtics or the Cleveland Cavaliers. All in all, I hope they can make it happen next season, man. LC out.

A Letter To Steve Stephens

Dear Steve Stephens,

Look, I’ve never been one to mince words, so I’m going to just get straight to the point. You’re a fucking coward, man. You’re nothing more than a peon who deserves the absolute worst. How DARE you take the life of Robert Godwin in such a callous manner?! That man did NOTHING to deserve your pathetic misguided wrath! All I know is, your day is coming and it will be completely justified.

Now, let’s be clear here, son. People get dumped everyday, B. On the real, unless a relationship ends in marriage or some type of domestic situation, then someone is getting the axe. It’s just the nature of the game, man. With that being said, why the fuck would you use getting dumped to justify why you killed that man? Ok, so, your ex-girlfriend doesn’t want you anymore. What the fuck does that have to do with Robert Godwin? Shit, not only did you take that man’s life over some bullshit, but you had the audacity to commit this travesty on Facebook Live. Good fucking Lord, man! You’ve literally taken being a piece of shit to the next level, bruh.

To make matters worse, you dragged your mother, Maggie Green, into the nonsense. I mean, you really had the nerve to tell her that you’re shooting people because you’re mad at your woman? Man, what kind of hoe ass behavior is this, son? Out of the countless ways people find to get over heartbreak, this is your solution?! Look, your ex-lady really dodged a fucking bullet, no pun intended. Clearly, she’s better off not dealing with your unstable ass. No real man would act in such a manner, bruh. She absolutely made the right decision.

In the end, this manhunt can only last for so long, man. Eventually, the authorities are going to catch up to you and you deserve whatever brand of justice they plan on dishing out. Ultimately, no one is going to feel sorry for you, son. All in all, fuck you very much, bitch!

Sincerely,

A man who’s disgusted by your very existence