Donald Trump Loves Golden Showers

So, let me begin this post by saying there is no actual evidence to suggest that Donald Trump loves golden showers. As of right now, Ben Smith‘s dossier in BuzzFeed is the only article to mention the possibility of Trump paying hookers to piss on him. Now, even after saying that, I guarantee some idiot is going to read my headline and get pissed (phrasing). Well, stupid is as stupid does, son. I have no control over people’s reactions, man. In any case, the real story here is the allegations that Russia has damaging personal and financial information about Trump. With that being said, all I want to know is, if this is the case, why was Hillary Clinton the only person harmed by Russian hacking?

Now, at this point, I don’t have to tell anyone what happened during the election, man. If someone is unaware of the fuckery that occurred over the past year, then they’re lost anyway. In any case, American intelligence agencies have made it well known that Russia engaged in various hacks, in an attempt to influence our presidential election. Despite the fact that Trump and his team have denied all of this from the beginning, I’m going to go ahead and believe the FBI, CIA and NSA. Let’s just say, I’m more convinced of their ability to deal with facts instead of propaganda.

Moving on, I just want to know, if all of these agencies were aware of potentially damaging information about Trump, why did Clinton always get the short end of the stick? Shit, just a week before voting in November, FBI Director James Comey released a note saying they were looking into more emails related to Clinton. Despite the fact they found nothing, this incident was just another slight against Clinton, which raised doubts in the minds of the American people. Keep in mind, outside of the fact that the private email server existed, the FBI never found any evidence of an actual crime. Yet, this storyline ended up playing a major factor in our election. None of this is adding up to me, son.

In the end, I may be looked at as a conspiracy theorist, but when shit stinks, it stinks, man. If a foreign entity has information about two people and only one person suffers for it, it can be deduced that they were trying to benefit the other. Don’t be surprised when Vladimir Putin is freely walking around Manhattan, son. Hell, he might have a suite in Trump Tower as we speak. We’ve got a Russian puppet as a President, man. Oh happy day… on Opposite Day.

P.S. Even though I don’t think the story is true, wouldn’t it be GOLD if Donald Trump loved getting peed on? Side note, see what I did there? I’m killing y’all, man. Get fire on these bitches, son! In any case, the more Trump’s questionable behavior comes to light, the more I’m convinced he’ll be quickly impeached. I would rejoice, but I’m not too fond of a Mike Pence presidency either. That dude is verifiably loco, son. That is all.

Go Home, Congress, You’re Drunk

Did anyone know President Obama was responsible for the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster? Did anyone know he was responsible for the Watergate scandal? Wait, did anyone know Obama was chiefly responsible for the Great Depression in the 1930s? Well, if we all listened to the idiots in Congress, they’d probably try to convince us of all of those things. Look, just ONE day after overriding Obama’s veto of the controversial 9/11 law, Congress has suddenly had a change of heart. Now, instead of just admitting to their foolish errors, they still found a way to blame Obama for their own ineptitude. It’s so baffling to watch, son.

To start off, the 9/11 bill is a law that allows families to sue Saudi Arabia for their involvement in the World Trade Center attacks. Now, in theory, this sounds fantastic. However; there are certain complications that could potentially arise from a move like this. Namely, this could put the United States and our soldiers at risk for the same type of lawsuits. In case anyone forgot, America has a LONG history of fucking shit up in other people’s countries. So, if we start suing other nations for attacks, we could potentially be on the hook for the same tactic. Both Obama AND CIA Director John Brennan expressed these concerns.

With all of that being said, Congress heard these objections, said “fuck that” and hit Obama’s veto with the override. The Senate, for example, was so sure of itself, the vote was 97 to 1. 97 to fucking 1, man. That’s like the worst college football score ever, son. No type of “mercy rule,” bro. From there, the House followed in the tomfoolery and also passed the bill. Now, all of a sudden, Congress wants to change parts of the bill to protect our troops and blames Obama for not explaining the possible consequences. Are these people fucking kidding me, man? I swear, Republicans have made it their life’s mission to just disregard anything Obama says or does. Now, they got caught with their asses in the air and they still tried to pin it on him.

Regardless of what anyone else tries to say, it’s not his fault the Republican-led Congress didn’t think this one through. Shit, Mitch McConnell literally said “nobody focused on the potential downside in terms of our international relationships.” How on Earth is that an Obama issue? Look, if my mother told me not to touch the stove, I can’t then blame her for a burnt hand if I did it anyway. Honestly, if I tried that, I’d probably get backhanded in the mouth, man. Get these clowns the fuck out of here, son.

In the end, Congress must’ve really taken a lot of cues from Brexit. Apparently, it’s good form to overwhelmingly vote on something without doing proper research. Look, I’m no Obama apologist, but Congress blaming him for failing to do their job is ridiculous. Maybe, if they didn’t have such a hard-on for fighting him at every turn, then they would’ve made the right decision. Then again, maybe not, son. We have an ABUNDANT amount of idiots in our government. Good day.