Drake Should Do More Acting

So, if I’m being honest, this should be a short post today, son. I mean, I’m only here to endorse the “No Guidance” video by Chris Brown and Drake, man. On the real, I can’t remember the last time I truly laughed out loud during a music video, fam. All I know is, Drake needs to do waaaaay more acting, bruh. Seriously, he’s fucking comedic gold, folks.

Ok, I’m not going to sit here and give an entire breakdown of the video. But, I will set it up for everyone. Now, it’s no secret that there used to be bad blood between Brown and Drake. Frankly, both men couldn’t keep their feelings for Rihanna in check, son. From there, these dudes were getting into bottle fights with each other and throwing countless subliminal shots. Side note, I would absolutely knee a dude in the esophagus over Thick Rihanna. I’ve already established this, brethren. All in all, a lot of clownery was in the air between the both of them, but they were finally able to put their differences aside.

In any case, the video starts off by alluding to their previous feud. So, as a plot device, both artists act like it’ll be on site if they run into one another at this party. Anyway, when they do come face-to-face, Brown challenges Drake to a dance battle. All I can say is, this scene is where Drake kills shit, man. Like, we all know that Brown is a Top 3 dancer of all-time. However, Drake’s comedic timing is worth the price of admission, fam. Keeping it a buck, this is the same ability that he showed on Saturday Night Live, bruh. The way I see it, Drake needs to go ahead and get these Hollywood dollars, brethren. To me, he’s legitimately hilarious, folks.

In the end, I’m sure that Drake will move back to acting once he gets ALL of the music money. Ultimately, as crazy as it sounds, he could probably have a longer career in film and television than music, son. Shit, I know he’s been on top of the game for a decade, but a quality actor can work for the rest of his or her life, man. By and by, folks don’t have to take my word for it, fam. Hell, just watch the video below, bruh. At the end of the day, it’s funny as shit, people. That is all. LC out.

Advertisements

Protect Soulja Boy At All Costs

So, I’m going to keep this post short, son. The fact of the matter is, Soulja Boy is a national treasure and should be treated as such. I mean, “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” hit me on a philosophical level, man. All jokes aside, if anyone’s in a bad mood, just yell “watch me yuuuuu” and witness the world brighten up. With all of that being said, I’m thoroughly enjoying all of Soulja’s recent shenanigans, fam. All in all, the man just wants his respect, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Soulja Boy has been on a tear, son. First, he took to Instagram to proclaim that he had the biggest comeback in 2018. Frankly, he wasn’t trying to hear shit about Tyga or Meek Mill, man. Next, he went to The Breakfast Club to further dig into his bag, fam. Shit, who cares about Tyga’s collabo with Offset? Big Draco has MAD records with Migos. Who cares about Meek’s former beef with Drake? Soulja went to war with Chris Brown, bruh. Like, what else do folks need to know, brethren? All I can say is, Famous Dex better lay low. He doesn’t want that Stacks On Deck smoke, people.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, son. Ultimately, this post pales in comparison to Soulja’s actual rants, son. By and by, everyone can check out ALL of the footage below. Real talk, I made my wife watch his IG rant last night, man. At the end of the day, that’s how hilarious it was, fam. Anyway, here’s some tomfoolery to lighten up everyone’s Friday. That is all. LC out.

P.S. I know I’m being an ass, but Soulja Boy really did give a lot of new artists the internet blueprint, son. Hell, he’s legitimately the first rapper that I remember blowing up online, man. So, all hail Big Draco! Good day.

Jacquees Gotta Chill, Son

So, I won’t lie, man. Real talk, I was really trying to avoid this Jacquees shit, fam. I mean, no one in their right mind needs to debate if he’s the “King of R&B.” Shit, it’s a no for all of us, dawg. However, after I saw the nonsense he pulled with Keith Sweat, it’s about time that Jacquees got checked, bruh. All in all, confidence is one thing, son. On the flip side, hubris is the shit that got Conor McGregor choked out, folks.

Ok, for those who missed it (or have no idea who Jacquees is), this dude has been running around talking cash shit, son. Now, it all started when homie hopped on social media and declared himself “King of R&B” for this generation. Needless to say, the internet let him have it, man. Like, just a couple of months ago, he was getting clipped by DJ Mustard and Ella Mai for jacking that “Trip” song. Now he’s the King? Fam. Just… fam. Come on, bruh. In any case, his tomfoolery caused the internet to crown the real Kings and the consensus seemed to be R. Kelly, Usher and Chris Brown. Side note, we all know that R. Kelly is gross, people. But, his discography does speak for itself. It’s just a damn shame that it had to come from him, brethren.

With all of that being said, I was STILL gonna let Jacquees slide, son. That was until he decided to disrespect the Gawd, Keith Sweat. Now, after TMZ asked Sweat if he was the King, Jacquees jumped from the top turnbuckle and rudely interrupted him. From there, he stated that he’s got everyone from ages 16 to 25 on lock and that Sweat is basically the King of the old heads. All I know is, the Harlem dude in Sweat wanted to slap fire out of Jacquees, man. Shit, I would’ve encouraged the hell out of that, fam. On the real, Jacquees needs to chill the fuck out, bruh.

Listen, like I’ve said before, there’s nothing wrong with confidence. Keeping it a buck, all artists need it in order to face the public. But, there’s a thin line between confidence and arrogance, son. Face it, Jacquees has accomplished nothing yet. Now, that doesn’t mean he won’t ever make it big, man. However, he hasn’t popped off anywhere near the level of the artists he’s disrespecting. Hell, forget the legends, fam. He hasn’t even done it on the level of his peers, bruh. Seriously, I don’t know anyone who can name 3 Jacquees songs. Look, I know that may sound like a diss, but it’s not, folks. I’m just making a point that he has a lot more work to do, brethren. All I can say is, the shenanigans aren’t helping his case, people.

In the end, Jacquees needs to fall back and just make music, son. Ultimately, if the songs are dope enough, they’ll hit the people, man. By and by, we don’t need R&B singers to start trolling, fam. At the end of the day, that type of behavior is corny, bruh. Knock it off, Jacquees. That is all. LC out.

Damn, Nas Too?

Look, let me get straight to the point, son. I’m a rapper, I’m from New York and I was born in the 1980‘s. So, it should come as no surprise that Nas was a HUGE part of my upbringing, man. I mean, he’s hands down one of my favorite rappers of all time, people. With that being said, I’m disappointed as fuck today, fam. All I know is, if Kelis‘s claims against him are true, then I can’t help but look at Nas in an ENTIRELY different light, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Kelis just dropped a bunch of bombshells in a recent interview, son. Now, for reference, Kelis and Nas have been divorced since 2010. They also have an 8-year-old son, Knight, who’s currently at the center of a bitter custody battle. In any case, while speaking with Jason Lee from Hollywood Unlocked, Kelis gave some details about her relationship with Nas. So, during the course of the talk, she spoke about Nas’s alleged penchant for getting drunk and beating her up. She even relayed a story about how the Rihanna and Chris Brown case inspired her to leave Nas while pregnant.

Apparently, at the same time that Rihanna was being victimized by Brown, Kelis had bruises all over her body. In addition, she talked about how Nas is an on-and-off father who only “shows up when there’s a photo op.” Now, all I can say is, if these stories are true, the revelations are disheartening, man. Listen, Nas has built an entire career around being Hip Hop‘s conscience. Ok, yes, I know that artists portray fictitious characters in their music all of the time. But, for someone who’s made NUMEROUS songs about uplifting women, it’s insane to think that he’s hitting them at the same time, fam. Like, how the fuck am I supposed to take “Black Girl Lost” seriously now?

In the end, I don’t even know what else to say, bruh. Honestly, I think I’ve come to the conclusion that every public figure I’ve ever looked up to is garbage, son. Ultimately, I’m well aware of the fact that people shouldn’t look to celebrities for guidance. However, it’s understandable that certain individuals may give us something to strive towards. By and by, we have to cut all of that hero worship shit out, man. At the end of the day, everybody seems to fucking suck, fam. *Sigh* That is all. LC out.

Thick Rihanna Is The GOAT!

Disclaimer: This post is an unabashed Rihanna love fest. Haters will be handled with swift and vengeful justice.

So, let me keep it a buck, son. I was in love with the Rihanna in the first picture. I was in love with the Rihanna in the second picture. I was also in love with the Rihanna in the third picture. However; the Rihanna in that fourth picture can’t be measured by Earthly science or mathematics, man. I mean, Thick Rihanna is the greatest all of time, fam. Hands down. Frankly, I don’t want to hear any debates, people. Let’s just all praise whatever food Ms. Fenty has been eating, bruh.

Now, for those who missed it, BarbadosCrop Over festival just went down. As a man who’s half Bajan and half Vincentian, this festival means a lot to my culture. With that being said, Rihanna, a born and bred Bajan, has always frequented the celebration. Meaning, she’s always been decked out in the finest of costumes. However; the way she looked this year made me make the Carmelo Anthony risk it all” face, son. Like, her newfound thickness is a sight for sore eyes, man. Shit, she almost made me forget that the American government is in shambles, fam.

To be fair, the internet has been talking about Rih Rih’s weight gain for a little while now. On the real, social media has debated whether she’s fine, fat or something in between. All I know is, fuck anybody who doesn’t appreciate what Robyn is blessing us with, son! Look, even Chris Brown rose up from the abyss to start liking pictures, man. Listen, the curves are just undeniable, folks. All in all, I can’t critique anything she’s doing, bruh.

In the end, there’s nothing else to be said, son. Let’s just all do a praise dance in honor of Thick Rihanna. Lastly, to the rest of my congregation, feel free to enjoy the pictures below. Thanks a lot, Baby JesusLC out.


A Letter To Chris Brown

Dear Chris Brown,

What the fuck is wrong with you, son? You mean to tell me, after all of this time, you haven’t learned anything? After Rihanna, prison and God knows how many public incidents, you really haven’t learned a fucking thing? Bruh, what is your issue with women, man? Why do you always have such high-levels of aggression toward the opposite sex? *Sigh* Ultimately, despite all of the chances you’ve been given, this latest situation with Karrueche Tran shows that you’re nothing but a lost cause.

Now, I don’t need to tell you what’s going on. I’m positive you’re already aware of the restraining order Karrueche filed against you. I’m just baffled by the fact that ANOTHER woman is accusing you of abuse after your VERY public history. I mean, we ALL know what you did to Rihanna. There’s no need to go over that again. However; how are you so dense that a different woman can accuse you of punching her and pushing her down the stairs? Karrueche even excused you of recently threatening to kill her. Apparently, you told these plans to a number of people. So, rehab, prison and a career hit wasn’t enough for you to get your shit together? Good fucking Lord, man, you are hopeless!

At this point, I don’t know how anyone can defend you anymore. Now, I’m sure your loyal fans will try to cape for you, but delusional people also cape for Donald Trump. Meaning, stupid is as stupid does, in the immortal words of Forrest Gump. In any case, when singers like Kay Cola claim that she’s personally heard your abuse before, it’s difficult to pass this story off as conjecture. In addition, since you’re the same man who proudly admits to stalking ex-girlfriends, I don’t understand why anyone is surprised by these allegations.

All in all, it’s time for you to vanish now. You don’t deserve sympathy, you don’t deserve fans and you don’t deserve a career. I’ll never be the one to deny your talent, but you’re a worthless human being, son. Any man who continuously inflicts violence on women doesn’t deserve any positivity in his life. Frankly, you’re a piece of shit, Chris Brown. Plain and simple. Please disappear. Now!

Sincerely,

A real man who doesn’t condone domestic violence

A Letter To Soulja Boy

Dear Soulja Boy,

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you, bro? Even though you’ve always been a clown, over the past year, you’ve ascended to Jedi-levels of Ronald McDonald. At this point, you’ve probably beefed with every artist who’s more relevant than you. From Lil Yachty to Migos to Chris Brown, you’ve taken it upon yourself to let your Fuckboy Flag fly. Ultimately, all I know is, it’s time for you to disappear forever. Forever-ever.

First, you decided to beef with Lil Yachty over an Instagram chick. The funny thing is, I’m not even sure which of you is more of a loser in this situation. India Love doesn’t claim either one of you fools and y’all are out here tweaking on social media. I’m sorry, but real men don’t post screenshots of private conversations they had with other people. If you’re talking to India and Yachty behind the scenes, then keep that shit behind the scenes, man. The general public doesn’t give a flying fuck about any of this, son. Keep the fuckery under wraps, bro.

Next, you randomly decided to drag Quavo and the rest of Migos into your world of nonsense. Honestly, I’m not even sure what this conflict was about, man. All I know is, you got on IG, again, and flashed a potentially fake AK-47 for all to see. So, are you trying to convince us that you’re a goon now? Are we, the people, supposed to be scared of the dude who made “Yahhh!“? Bruh, if you don’t sit your short bus ass down. Look, I don’t even think you can spell the word “gun,” let alone actually shoot someone with one. Get the fuck outta here, man!

Finally, you decided to enter into a new conflict with Chris Brown over Karrueche, of all people. You alleged that Chris called you over liking one of Karrueche’s pictures and then proceeded to offer Chris all types of fade. Now, while Chris is no stranger to fuck shit, I have a hard time believing this tall tale. Keeping it a buck, I think you have a vivid imagination and be dreaming all of your gripes. With that being said, let me make one thing clear: no one, and I mean NO ONE, is threatened by you, son. We all saw your recent jailhouse picture, bro. When shit got real, you tensed up reeeeeeal quick. Don’t pretend to be about that life if you’re gonna piss on yourself when shit goes down. That’s not keeping it G, my dude. Not in the least.

In the end, I need you to disappear, son. Your career has run its course, man. As it stands now, you’re nothing more than a character to make fun of. I mean, I’ve been laughing at Joe Budden‘s impersonation of you for the last few days now. This is how we all view you, man. On the real, just take whatever money you have left and banish yourself to the mountains. That’s truly what the people want, bro. And that’s truly what the people deserve.

Sincerely,

A dude who actually used to jam out to “Pretty Boy Swag