What The F*ck Is LaVar Ball Doing?

So, it’s no secret that I’m not a fan of LaVar Ball. Yes, I hear all of the stories about the positivity of seeing such a visible Black father. However; as a Black father myself, I can still acknowledge the fuckery, son. At this point, I don’t see how anyone could even argue that LaVar has his sons’ best interests at heart. Look, the way I see it, he’s turned this entire situation into The LaVar Ball Show. Real talk, I truly believe he’s fucking up his children’s futures, man.

Ok, let’s begin with LiAngelo, fam. By now, we should all know what the deal is here. LiAngelo did some fuck shit in China, robbed a store, got arrested, got released (because of Donald Trump?) and made it back to America. Now, in light of all of the tomfoolery, UCLA decided to suspend LiAngelo, but still keep him on the team. So, how does LaVar react to this? He removes LiAngelo from school because he believes that his son should be playing right away. Shit, is this man serious, bruh?! His fucking son could’ve ended up in a Chinese prison and he’s acting this ungrateful?! Keeping it a buck, LaVar should be thankful that the university even decided to put up with this shit. I mean, LiAngelo did get arrested DURING A SCHOOL TRIP!

Next, let’s talk about LaMelo. Listen, I’ve already talked about how I’m not sold on this kid. His shooting percentage is terrible, his defense is terrible and he showboats too much. On the real, a kid like him needs as much structure as possible. So, what does LaVar do? He takes him out of Chino Hills High School in order to homeschool him for the next two years. *Sigh* Honestly, what the fuck is LaVar doing, son? Does he really care about the development of his son’s skills? He already has enough deficiencies as it is. I really don’t see how this will help him progress as a player.

Finally, let’s talk about Lonzo. Now, in case anyone hasn’t been paying attention, Lonzo has some of the worst shooting percentages in the NBA. As of right now, he’s shooting 31% from the field, 25% from three-point range and 50% from the free throw line. Look, those are horrific numbers for a player who’s supposed to be the Lord and Savior of the Los Angeles Lakers, son. To make matters worse, the Lakers are enforcing a rule that prohibits media from interviewing family and associates of players. Generally speaking, people see this as the “LaVar Ball Rule” because of his penchant for criticizing coaches, officials and owners. Sheesh, way to go, LaVar!

Look, now that I think about it, this is one of LaVar’s main problems. I mean, he really thinks he knows better than EVERYONE. Listen, he pulled LaMelo out of Chino Hills because he thinks he knows better than the coaches. He pulled LiAngelo out of UCLA because he thinks he knows better than the organization. He’s made life difficult for Lonzo because he’s CONSTANTLY shitting on the Lakers staff. Fam, how the HELL is any of this good for his boys? All I know is, LaVar has become a cancer that’s infecting every aspect of the game.

In the end, people may see this post as hate, but I’ve stated nothing but facts here. All I can say is, LaVar Ball is doing a grave injustice to his sons. Ultimately, all he would need to do is fall back a little and let these teams do their jobs, man. Then again, NONE of that is in LaVar’s nature, fam. With that being said, he’s going to kill this ride before it really gets off of the ground, bruh. By and by, IN SPITE of their father, I hope the sons will still find a way to succeed. That is all. LC out.

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LeVar Burton Is NOT LaVar Ball!

So, I’m going to be honest, son. A lot of times, I don’t know who’s stupider, man: Donald Trump or his supporters. Like, I’ve never seen a group of people more allergic to facts and information, fam. With that being said, this LaVar Ball situation ranks high on the fuckery scale, bruh. Keeping it a buck, it’s not even because of the feud between Ball and Trump. All in all, I need to eviscerate these fucktards for confusing Ball and the legendary LeVar Burton.

Ok, for those who’ve had better things to do, let me recap this entire fiasco. First, things began when LiAngelo Ball and company stole some shit in China. Now, there’s no need to revisit that entire story because I’ve already wrote about it, son. Next, Trump tweeted some shit about getting the UCLA players released. From there, the teammates were allowed to leave the country and Trump came looking for credit. LaVar basically gave 45 the middle finger and they’ve been at a war of words ever since. Side bar, the fucking President is arguing with a basketball dad on Twitter. Just let that sink in, folks.

In any case, since they never want to be left out of the tomfoolery, Trump supporters decided to come to their hero’s aid. Now, here’s where the problems arise, man: they set their crosshairs on the wrong individual! Essentially, over the last few days, they’ve been attacking LeVar Burton on social media. Look, Burton ain’t got shit to do with this, fam! This dude gave us Roots, Reading Rainbow and Star Trek: The Next Generation! Have some fucking respect, people! Shit, I swear I’ve NEVER seen a dumber group of carpetbaggers in my whole life, bruh! They just don’t give a flying fuck about verifiable knowledge, son!

In the end, I don’t even know why I’m surprised, man. Intelligence is simply NOT the calling card of these folks, fam. Ultimately, we need to protect LeVar Burton at all costs, bruh. On the real, that man has dropped too many gems to be disrespected in this manner. By and by, viva la Kunta Kinte! LC out.

What The F*ck Was LiAngelo Ball Thinking?

Disclaimer: Everything is alleged, but that’s not going to stop me from giving out this work, son. Ok, let’s carry on, man.

Look, let me begin this post by saying that I know what’s it’s like to be an 18-year-old idiot. I know what it’s like to do dumb shit thinking I could never get caught. Shit, if I’m being real, I don’t think I stopped engaging in regular fuckery until I was like 25 years old, son. By then, I was someone’s dad, so something had to give, man. With that being said, a part of me wants to go easy on LiAngelo Ball. However; when we consider all of the perks of being part of the Ball family right now, LiAngelo is looking like a plum fool, fam. Listen, at the end of the day, don’t do anything to fuck up the money, bruh!

Ok, for those who missed it, the UCLA men’s basketball team is currently in China. Now, when it comes to athletes, especially male athletes, a certain level of tomfoolery is expected. However; Ball, Cody Riley and Jalen Hill just got themselves into some real shit, son. Just yesterday, they were arrested for stealing sunglasses from a Louis Vuitton store. To make matters worse, if these dudes are convicted of a crime, they could face 3-10 years in prison, man. *Sigh* Was any of this shit worth it, fam?

Listen, let’s be honest for a second, bruh. As of right now, it’s a damn privilege to be part of the Ball family. Between Lonzo Ball’s skill set and LaVar Ball’s insanity, they have laid the foundation for a lucrative self-contained business. Hell, with LaMelo Ball also waiting in the wings, the Ball family could keep the money train rolling for a good period of time, son. So, why would LiAngelo jeopardize any of this for a pair of sunglasses, man? Yeah, maybe I’m being a little harsh, but when dealing with millions, EVERYONE has to keep their eyes on the prize, fam.

In the end, I hope China lets these dudes skate, bruh. Ultimately, serving major prison time over some shit like this would be crazy, folks. In any case, I hope LiAngelo learns a valuable lesson from this: DON’T FUCK UP THE MONEY, SON! All in all, one pair of sunglasses isn’t worth a lifetime of earning potential, man. That is all. LC out.

Does North Korea REALLY Want Smoke?

Ok, look, I’ve talked about the possibility of World War III a few times, son. Now, even though I was always serious, a part of me didn’t really believe it would go down, man. However; North Korea is out here WILIN’, fam! I mean, it seems like they really want some static, bruh. All I know is, after their latest hydrogen bomb test, the world might really be headed to No Man’s Land, people.

So, for those who missed it, this past Sunday, North Korea detonated its sixth nuclear bomb. This came hours after a picture of Kim Jong-un was released, where he appeared to be inspecting a hydrogen bomb. Now, this is notable because North Korea is claiming to have a functioning warhead that can fit in a missile. Basically, these muhfuckas might have a reliable nuke now, son! All in all, shit is rapidly getting real and the United States has a tough choice on its hands.

Now, I never thought I’d see the day when I would say this, but I agree with Vladimir Putin, man. Sanctions against North Korea are useless, man. Like, Jong-un and company don’t give a fuck about non-military consequences. For whatever reason, North Korea seems to actually want war, fam. So, the question is, do we give in to conflict? At this point, if we do go to war, it will probably end up being nuclear. In addition, based on the fact that Russia and China also have nukes, we all might be SUPER fucked, bruh!

In the end, shit is getting thick out here, son. Keeping it a buck, I don’t even have any answers, man. All I can say is, I’m DEFINITELY following this situation closely, fam. Ultimately, I don’t expect much from Donald Trump, but he CAN’T fuck this up, people! If he does, we might not be around long enough to fix the problem. By and by, can someone tell Jong-un to chill? Listen, he won’t win this conflict, but the collateral damage just isn’t worth it, bruh. That is all. LC out.

LC’s Review Of Last Night’s Debate F*ckery

Man, my head hurts, bro. Like, I’m fairly positive my brain cells are on fire right now. What the hell did I watch last night, son? Did a presidential debate actually occur or did we all watch the premiere of a new VH1 reality show? All I know is, during the course of last night’s shenanigans between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, I hugged my sons because this truly might be the end of days. With that being said, I’ve decided to reluctantly give everyone my review of last night’s debate, bullet point style.

1. Lester Holt Got Treated Like A Punk Bitch: Bruh, how bad of a moderator was Lester Holt? Look, I’ll always support the Black man when it comes to Dateline or the Nightly News. However; he needs to never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever moderate another debate. He never had control of the situation, son. Both candidates, ESPECIALLY Trump, frequently went over time, Holt never stopped Trump during the copious amount of times he interrupted Clinton AND Trump even interrupted him. At one point, Trump literally told Holt to wait while he rebutted a comment Clinton made. All I can say is, Holt definitely came out of this with his lip busted and reputation mangled.

2. Trump Would’ve Interrupted God Himself: Look, this dude Donald Trump has no couth whatsoever. While I’ve already mentioned the number of times he interrupted Holt, the real victim here was Clinton. During the first 26 minutes of the debate alone, Trump interrupted Clinton 25 times. 25 fucking times, man! Now, I’m no brain surgeon, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how a debate works. What the hell is the point of time limits if Trump is just going to talk whenever he feels like it? By the way, I hope Trump understands, simply blurting out words like “lies” doesn’t actually disprove any of the points Clinton made. For example, he claimed she lied about him saying global warming was an invention of the Chinese, but lo and behold, the internet found his tweet from 2012 saying exactly that. Foolishness, I say.

3. Trump’s Views On Race Relations Are Frightening: In regards to this bullet point, all I have to say is Stop and Frisk. When asked about how he would improve race relations in this country, Trump mentioned the need for more “law and order” in minority communities. Taking it a step further, he then suggested instating Stop and Frisk across the nation. Here’s the problem, though: A DISTRICT COURT JUDGE DEEMED THE PRACTICE UNCONSTITUTIONAL! A number of studies showed the method was racially biased toward stopping Black and Hispanic people. Speaking as someone who’s been stopped more than once due to this bullshit tactic, I can attest to the fact it’s highly prejudicial to minorities. Someone, please get this man the fuck out of here.

4. Trump Admitted Some Terrible Things About Himself: Now, for just one moment, let’s talk about taxes and the housing market. First, Clinton brought up the fact Trump hadn’t paid federal taxes during certain periods of time. Instead of denying it, he said it’s because he was “smart.” Next, Clinton stated that Trump was in favor of the 2008 housing market crash since it gave him the opportunity to buy more property. In response to that, Trump called it “good business.” So, let me get this straight, son. The man running for president doesn’t pay the IRS AND was in favor of the crash that contributed to the worst depression since the 1930s? IS ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS SHIT?! I didn’t even mention the fact he basically admitted he doesn’t properly pay his own employees. Son, seriously, what the fuck is going on around here? How is Donald fucking Trump the Republican nominee for president? What the hell is wrong with the GOP?!

5. Trump Is Absolutely Allergic To Facts: In regards to the “birther movement” he spearheaded, Trump said he let the issue go when President Obama released his birth certificate in 2011. However; he was STILL talking about whether or not Obama was born in this country as of THIS YEAR! When Holt brought this fact up, Trump flat out refused to answer the question. Instead, he claimed credit for making Obama prove he was an American. Next, he blamed Obama and Clinton for the “power vacuum” that created ISIS, ignoring the fact that the agreement that removed the troops from Iraq was signed by George W. Bush. Hell, I already wrote about this in a previous post. Lastly, I literally heard this dude say he’s never “given much thought” to NATO. How in God’s name can Trump run this country when he’s not even familiar with our allies, man? His campaign is mind-bogglingly stupid and I have a really heard time figuring out how we got here as a nation.

Ok, I think that about does it for me today. Look, I’m still no huge fan of Clinton, but good Lord, Donald Trump is a maniac, son. For the life of me, I CANNOT understand how the polls are so close. If anyone needs proof the general public is idiotic, just examine the people who support this man. The sad part is, regardless of what happened last night, Trump’s base will probably never leave him. With that being said, I can’t stress enough how important it is to vote. Otherwise, everyone needs to start preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse. Armageddon is about to reach America really soon, son. Good day, I think.