What The F*ck Was LiAngelo Ball Thinking?

Disclaimer: Everything is alleged, but that’s not going to stop me from giving out this work, son. Ok, let’s carry on, man.

Look, let me begin this post by saying that I know what’s it’s like to be an 18-year-old idiot. I know what it’s like to do dumb shit thinking I could never get caught. Shit, if I’m being real, I don’t think I stopped engaging in regular fuckery until I was like 25 years old, son. By then, I was someone’s dad, so something had to give, man. With that being said, a part of me wants to go easy on LiAngelo Ball. However; when we consider all of the perks of being part of the Ball family right now, LiAngelo is looking like a plum fool, fam. Listen, at the end of the day, don’t do anything to fuck up the money, bruh!

Ok, for those who missed it, the UCLA men’s basketball team is currently in China. Now, when it comes to athletes, especially male athletes, a certain level of tomfoolery is expected. However; Ball, Cody Riley and Jalen Hill just got themselves into some real shit, son. Just yesterday, they were arrested for stealing sunglasses from a Louis Vuitton store. To make matters worse, if these dudes are convicted of a crime, they could face 3-10 years in prison, man. *Sigh* Was any of this shit worth it, fam?

Listen, let’s be honest for a second, bruh. As of right now, it’s a damn privilege to be part of the Ball family. Between Lonzo Ball’s skill set and LaVar Ball’s insanity, they have laid the foundation for a lucrative self-contained business. Hell, with LaMelo Ball also waiting in the wings, the Ball family could keep the money train rolling for a good period of time, son. So, why would LiAngelo jeopardize any of this for a pair of sunglasses, man? Yeah, maybe I’m being a little harsh, but when dealing with millions, EVERYONE has to keep their eyes on the prize, fam.

In the end, I hope China lets these dudes skate, bruh. Ultimately, serving major prison time over some shit like this would be crazy, folks. In any case, I hope LiAngelo learns a valuable lesson from this: DON’T FUCK UP THE MONEY, SON! All in all, one pair of sunglasses isn’t worth a lifetime of earning potential, man. That is all. LC out.

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Does North Korea REALLY Want Smoke?

Ok, look, I’ve talked about the possibility of World War III a few times, son. Now, even though I was always serious, a part of me didn’t really believe it would go down, man. However; North Korea is out here WILIN’, fam! I mean, it seems like they really want some static, bruh. All I know is, after their latest hydrogen bomb test, the world might really be headed to No Man’s Land, people.

So, for those who missed it, this past Sunday, North Korea detonated its sixth nuclear bomb. This came hours after a picture of Kim Jong-un was released, where he appeared to be inspecting a hydrogen bomb. Now, this is notable because North Korea is claiming to have a functioning warhead that can fit in a missile. Basically, these muhfuckas might have a reliable nuke now, son! All in all, shit is rapidly getting real and the United States has a tough choice on its hands.

Now, I never thought I’d see the day when I would say this, but I agree with Vladimir Putin, man. Sanctions against North Korea are useless, man. Like, Jong-un and company don’t give a fuck about non-military consequences. For whatever reason, North Korea seems to actually want war, fam. So, the question is, do we give in to conflict? At this point, if we do go to war, it will probably end up being nuclear. In addition, based on the fact that Russia and China also have nukes, we all might be SUPER fucked, bruh!

In the end, shit is getting thick out here, son. Keeping it a buck, I don’t even have any answers, man. All I can say is, I’m DEFINITELY following this situation closely, fam. Ultimately, I don’t expect much from Donald Trump, but he CAN’T fuck this up, people! If he does, we might not be around long enough to fix the problem. By and by, can someone tell Jong-un to chill? Listen, he won’t win this conflict, but the collateral damage just isn’t worth it, bruh. That is all. LC out.

LC’s Review Of Last Night’s Debate F*ckery

Man, my head hurts, bro. Like, I’m fairly positive my brain cells are on fire right now. What the hell did I watch last night, son? Did a presidential debate actually occur or did we all watch the premiere of a new VH1 reality show? All I know is, during the course of last night’s shenanigans between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, I hugged my sons because this truly might be the end of days. With that being said, I’ve decided to reluctantly give everyone my review of last night’s debate, bullet point style.

1. Lester Holt Got Treated Like A Punk Bitch: Bruh, how bad of a moderator was Lester Holt? Look, I’ll always support the Black man when it comes to Dateline or the Nightly News. However; he needs to never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever moderate another debate. He never had control of the situation, son. Both candidates, ESPECIALLY Trump, frequently went over time, Holt never stopped Trump during the copious amount of times he interrupted Clinton AND Trump even interrupted him. At one point, Trump literally told Holt to wait while he rebutted a comment Clinton made. All I can say is, Holt definitely came out of this with his lip busted and reputation mangled.

2. Trump Would’ve Interrupted God Himself: Look, this dude Donald Trump has no couth whatsoever. While I’ve already mentioned the number of times he interrupted Holt, the real victim here was Clinton. During the first 26 minutes of the debate alone, Trump interrupted Clinton 25 times. 25 fucking times, man! Now, I’m no brain surgeon, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how a debate works. What the hell is the point of time limits if Trump is just going to talk whenever he feels like it? By the way, I hope Trump understands, simply blurting out words like “lies” doesn’t actually disprove any of the points Clinton made. For example, he claimed she lied about him saying global warming was an invention of the Chinese, but lo and behold, the internet found his tweet from 2012 saying exactly that. Foolishness, I say.

3. Trump’s Views On Race Relations Are Frightening: In regards to this bullet point, all I have to say is Stop and Frisk. When asked about how he would improve race relations in this country, Trump mentioned the need for more “law and order” in minority communities. Taking it a step further, he then suggested instating Stop and Frisk across the nation. Here’s the problem, though: A DISTRICT COURT JUDGE DEEMED THE PRACTICE UNCONSTITUTIONAL! A number of studies showed the method was racially biased toward stopping Black and Hispanic people. Speaking as someone who’s been stopped more than once due to this bullshit tactic, I can attest to the fact it’s highly prejudicial to minorities. Someone, please get this man the fuck out of here.

4. Trump Admitted Some Terrible Things About Himself: Now, for just one moment, let’s talk about taxes and the housing market. First, Clinton brought up the fact Trump hadn’t paid federal taxes during certain periods of time. Instead of denying it, he said it’s because he was “smart.” Next, Clinton stated that Trump was in favor of the 2008 housing market crash since it gave him the opportunity to buy more property. In response to that, Trump called it “good business.” So, let me get this straight, son. The man running for president doesn’t pay the IRS AND was in favor of the crash that contributed to the worst depression since the 1930s? IS ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS SHIT?! I didn’t even mention the fact he basically admitted he doesn’t properly pay his own employees. Son, seriously, what the fuck is going on around here? How is Donald fucking Trump the Republican nominee for president? What the hell is wrong with the GOP?!

5. Trump Is Absolutely Allergic To Facts: In regards to the “birther movement” he spearheaded, Trump said he let the issue go when President Obama released his birth certificate in 2011. However; he was STILL talking about whether or not Obama was born in this country as of THIS YEAR! When Holt brought this fact up, Trump flat out refused to answer the question. Instead, he claimed credit for making Obama prove he was an American. Next, he blamed Obama and Clinton for the “power vacuum” that created ISIS, ignoring the fact that the agreement that removed the troops from Iraq was signed by George W. Bush. Hell, I already wrote about this in a previous post. Lastly, I literally heard this dude say he’s never “given much thought” to NATO. How in God’s name can Trump run this country when he’s not even familiar with our allies, man? His campaign is mind-bogglingly stupid and I have a really heard time figuring out how we got here as a nation.

Ok, I think that about does it for me today. Look, I’m still no huge fan of Clinton, but good Lord, Donald Trump is a maniac, son. For the life of me, I CANNOT understand how the polls are so close. If anyone needs proof the general public is idiotic, just examine the people who support this man. The sad part is, regardless of what happened last night, Trump’s base will probably never leave him. With that being said, I can’t stress enough how important it is to vote. Otherwise, everyone needs to start preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse. Armageddon is about to reach America really soon, son. Good day, I think.