God Bless Yung Miami & Cardi B

Disclaimer: Don’t watch City Girls’ “Twerk” video anywhere near a place of employment. You’re welcome.

So, let me keep it a buck, son. Generally, I try to be a responsible and respectable dude. I try to be a guy who’s knowledgeable about relevant and pertinent issues, man. However, for today, I’m just talking about ass, fam. I mean, it was EVERYWHERE in City Girls’ “Twerk” video, bruh! Like, all jokes aside, this might be the greatest music video ever made, people. With that being said, why is anyone still reading this?

Ok, for those who missed it, City Girls, well, Yung Miami, released the “Twerk” video with Cardi B. Now, I don’t exactly know what to say about this visual, son. Shit, there are copious amounts of women shaking all manners of culo, man. In addition, there’s a ton of body paint, stripper poles and entertaining displays of athleticism. On the real, what else could we possibly want from a video called “Twerk,” fam?

In the end, there’s nothing else to say, bruh. Ultimately, everyone needs to go watch the video, son. Also, I hope everybody paid close attention to my disclaimer. Seriously, don’t watch this shit anywhere near a place that supplies paychecks. Furthermore, don’t watch this around children or close to any clergy, man. At the end of the day, they’ll probably just start praying for wayward souls, fam. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Based on this video, Offset lost, bruh. Like, he really lost, son. *Sigh* Good day.

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A Formerly ‘Ain’t Shit’ Dude’s Advice To Offset

So, let me keep it a buck, son. In order to make a point about this Cardi B and Offset situation, I’m going to throw myself under the bus. In any case, I just hope that anybody in Offset’s position can learn from my past mistakes. All I can say is, I’d bet money that his public campaign to get Cardi back is actually hurting him, man. The way I see it, Offset needs to take a much different approach, fam.

Ok, before I continue, let me outline my qualifications on this topic. Now, back in 2011, I was wilin’ in these streets, bruh. Anyway, despite the fact that I was a new dad and in a committed relationship, I was frequently involved in shenanigans that I had no business being a part of, son. Moving on, I ended up doing some shit with a woman who wasn’t my lady. Needless to say, I ended up in all of the doghouses, man. However, instead of immediately pushing her to take me back, I went a slightly different route, fam.

Now, as difficult as it was for me to do, I gave her space, bruh. I gave her room to make a decision for herself. No public showboating and no persistent pressure. Shit, instead of pining for her on social media, I legit disappeared from Facebook and Twitter for like 3 months. I made it a point to be present without being overbearing. So, that meant getting cursed out regularly. That meant getting ignored for days on end. That meant facing the possibility that she might not come back. All in all, the choice was in her hands and I wasn’t going to force her to make it.

Look, the point of that story is to tell Offset to back off a little. Ok, yes, it definitely seems like he wants his wife back. But, all of this attention may backfire, bruh. Hell, she basically said as much when she said “I told you I don’t like surprises” on Instagram. On the real, if she feels like she’s being bombarded on all angles, she might end up pulling away even more. The truth is, Offset needs to let her make a decision for herself. Real talk, that’s the only real chance he has, son.

In the end, don’t show up to any more concerts, Offset. Ultimately, he doesn’t want his woman to feel smothered. By and by, it’s insanely hard to loosen the grip while also trying to regain a connection. However, that may be his only real move, man. At the end of the day, the ball is in Cardi’s court, fam. Allow her to call the play. It might just work, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Jay-Z’s Verse On Meek Mill’s Album Is Incredible

On the real, I don’t know where to begin, son. I mean, today’s post could either be three sentences or three novels, man. Real talk, Jay-Z BLACKS OUT on Meek Mill‘s “What’s Free.” Like, Mill’s Championships album just came out today and I’ve already played this particular record like 11 times, fam. All in all, from the subject matter to the wordplay to the flow, Hov is reminding everybody why he’s a fucking legend (and the best rapper ever, in my opinion).

Now, keeping it a buck, I’m not sure I can fit all of my thoughts in one article, bruh. Shit, Hov has so many gems in this verse that I don’t know how to kick my analysis off, son. Like, we could talk about his indictment of anyone pitting him against Kanye West. We could talk about his continued championing of Black ownership. We could talk about his criticism of the music industry structure. Hell, we could talk about the metaphors and the flow. All in all, Jay checked all of the fucking boxes with this verse, man. But, don’t take my word for it, fam. Everyone can listen to the song below. At the end of the day, Mill put out a dope album AND let Jay go napalm on a record. Needless to say, I’m with all of it, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Enough Of The Goofy Sh*t, Nicki Minaj & Cardi B

So, let me keep it a buck, son. At this point, I don’t care who’s right, who’s wrong or who wrote what bar to what song. Frankly, Nicki Minaj and Cardi B need to knock off the goofy shit already. On the real, both of these women are successful, so why do they feel the need to continuously snipe at each other? I mean, honestly, what the fuck are they even fighting about, man? Seriously, as ugly as this feud has gotten, is it even based on anything real? Look, there’s enough room in the Rap game for the two of them. All in all, they need to just make music and leave the fuckery to 50 Cent and Ja Rule.

Ok, I won’t lie, fam. Real talk, I have no intention of outlining the details of the latest round between Nicki and Cardi. Hell, I’ll leave that shit to Pitchfork, bruh. In any case, all folks need to know is, the two rappers came for each other’s jugular veins on Twitter and Instagram last night. All I know is, I can’t keep track of who’s lying, who got punched by who or who was offered some fashion deal first. Shit, in the grand scheme of things, none of that fucking matters, son. From my vantage point, Nicki and Cardi need to just focus on themselves. Regardless of who people think is right, they both look nuts for engaging in such a manner. Like, don’t they have songs to record and shows to perform? Who the fuck has time for this nonsense, man?

In the end, I have nothing else to say, fam. Ultimately, Nicki and Cardi need to cut the foolishness out, bruh. By and by, Nicki’s place is already solidified and Cardi is as hot as any rapper has even been. At the end of the day, both of these women are doing the damn thing. So, they need to stop worrying about one another and get back to business. Or just scrap it out one time. Yes, I’m a hypocrite, son. A good 5-minute tussle will settle all differences, man. That is all. LC out.

What The F*ck, Cardi B & Nicki Minaj?!

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, both Cardi B AND Nicki Minaj need to be called out for unnecessary fuckery. At this point, what are they even beefing about, man? I mean, is it about who’s more successful? Is it about who raps better? Is it about who looks better? Well, let me tell them both something: NOBODY FUCKING CARES, FAM! Damn, both of these women are living their best lives but can’t seem to leave the dumb shit alone. All in all, New York Fashion Week is not the fucking time to throw hands, bruh!

Ok, to be clear, there are 80 million stories about why Cardi confronted Nicki at a Harper’s Bazaar party. According to Cardi, Nicki said something negative about Kulture, her daughter with Offset, and she wanted to lay hands on Nicki. Now, Nicki denies this but it seems as if she did like a tweet that said something disparaging about Kulture. In addition, Nicki previously dragged Stormi, daughter of Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner, into an argument about album sales. So, Nicki isn’t the most reliable source here, son.

In any case, Cardi thought it was a brilliant idea to confront Nicki at this NYFW party. Look, I have kids, so I understand wanting to molly-whop someone who slighted them. However, not at a fucking formal event, man! For God‘s sake, Cardi was wearing a damn Dolce & Gabbana dress! Let’s just say that ain’t the most functional outfit to scrap in, fam. On the real, both of these women are fucking wrong, bruh. Nicki is wrong for liking some bullshit on Twitter and Cardi is wrong for pressing the issue at this public event. Listen, these are grown fucking women, folks. They need to start acting like it.

In the end, I’m sick of hearing about this beef, son. Real talk, nothing positive has come out of this, man. Ultimately, Nicki looks like a bitter chick who’s mad that she finally has some commercial competition and Cardi looks like an uncontrollable wildcard who may block her blessings. At the end of the day, both women are too successful for this stupid shit, fam. By and by, they need to knock it the fuck off, bruh. Everybody loses here. That is all. LC out.

What’s Wrong With Nicki Minaj?

So, let me keep it a buck, son. Originally, I had no interest in speaking about any of Nicki Minaj‘s shenanigans. Frankly, I don’t care about her issues with DJ Self, Dream Doll, Mariah Lynn or Jessica Dime. I don’t care about her petty feud with Cardi B or her longstanding beef with Safaree. On the real, I’ve always believed that Minaj is way too successful to do half of the petty shit she does. However, her rant about “beating” Travis Scott in album sales is purely nonsensical, man. All in all, what type of shit is she on, fam?

Ok, for those who missed it, Minaj went deep into her “Twitter fingers” bag (word to Meek Mill). Now, her latest round of tomfoolery came as a result of her recent album sales. So, as some of us may know, Minaj dropped her Queen album last week. Anyway, the Billboard 200 numbers just came out and, needless to say, Ms. Minaj is not thrilled, bruh. Based on the calculations, her new album debuted at number-two, behind Scott’s ASTROWORLD.

Now, for most logical people, that would be the end of the story. But, nah, not for Minaj, son. Shit, instead of just celebrating a successful album, she took to Twitter to air her “grievances.” First, she criticized Scott for using tour bundles to boost his sales. Apparently, he’s including his album in the merchandise he’s selling. Side note, this ain’t even new, man. I mean, Prince, the Gawd himself, did the same thing with his Musicology album. Anyway, Minaj also poked at Scott for using Kylie Jenner and Stormi Webster to increase his hype. Hell, I guess it’s Scott’s fault that he procreated with a Jenner.

Look, this has to be a first, fam. Listen, I’ve never seen an artist explain why they have a number-two album. For God‘s sake, who the fuck cares, bruh? Like, why can’t Minaj just be happy? The last time I checked, Scott was minding his merry business, son. Real talk, I don’t see why Minaj felt it was necessary to diminish his accomplishments in order to lift herself up. Honestly, that’s counter to the “empowerment” she’s always preaching about. True empowerment isn’t built on the back of anyone else. Period.

In the end, Nicki Minaj’s constant need for validation is wack, man. Ultimately, someone at her level shouldn’t always have to prove themselves. By and by, her success should be enough for her. However, she always ends up trying to tell us that she’s great. All I can say is, it’s fucking unnecessary, fam. At the end of the day, Minaj needs to just take her numbers and go, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Justice For Junior

So, those who know me know that I’m a Bronx dude to my core. Like, the way I walk, talk and act come directly from my Boogie Down upbringing. However, I’m also familiar with the fuckery that can transpire in my borough. With that being said, I can’t put into words how tragic Lesandro Guzman-Feliz‘s death is, son. All I know is, NO explanation, justification or scenario can justify what those demons did to that 15-year-old boy.

Ok, for those who are unaware, Feliz, better known as Junior, was horrifically murdered last week. Now, at first, no one knew why members of the Trinitarios gang targeted Junior. Based on initial information, all we knew is that five men literally dragged Junior out of a bodega and hacked him with machetes. Sadly, the entire event was captured on video surveillance and cellphone footage. From there, Junior stumbled to St. Barnabas Hospital, where he later died.

Now, as more intel is being gathered, we now know that this whole tragedy is a case of mistaken identity. Apparently, all of this stemmed from a sextape circulating around social media. As the story goes, a video was making its rounds that showed a teen girl having sex with one boy while another boy rapped next to them. From what I understand, the girl is related to one of the dudes who was looking for Junior. In any case, they targeted Junior because he looked like the boy rapping in the video. Problem is, THAT WASN’T HIM!

Moving on, when these assholes realized they killed the wrong kid, they tried to apologize to the family in several text and Facebook messages. *Sigh* Listen, there are SEVERAL things wrong with all of this, man. First, a “whoops, we killed the wrong dude” explanation is not acceptable, fam. Real talk, even if they found the right kid, NO ONE deserved to die over this, bruh! Ok, yes, I can possibly understand wanting to beat up the person responsible for leaking the video. But, all of that machete shit was WILDLY unnecessary, people!

Next, why didn’t ANYONE in the bodega call for help? I mean, they just let these dudes drag that boy out of the store! Look, I’m not saying that the store owner should’ve fought five clowns with machetes by himself. However, either him or his workers should’ve called somebody, son! For God‘s sake, that boy got butchered in their vicinity! The staff could’ve done SOMETHING, man! ANYTHING!

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, fam. Ultimately, this type of savagery is HIGHLY unfortunate and uncalled for, bruh. By and by, I’m happy that all of the suspects have been caught, folks. At the end of the day, I hope the judge throws ALL of the books at them, brethren. Frankly, these dickheads don’t deserve leniency or pity, people. LC out.

P.S. I advise everyone out there to NOT watch the video of his murder. One, I want us all to respect Junior’s life. Two, nobody really needs to witness such a brutal homicide, son. That is all.

P.P.S. Shout-out to Cardi B for donating $8,000 to the family’s GoFundMe page. Real talk, that was a super stand-up move, fam. Good day.