Don’t Fall For Donald Trump’s Ruse

Nah, son. No way. Go home. Get the fuck outta here. I’m not falling for the okie doke, bruh. I’m not going for the misdirection, man. On the real, I truly hope no one believes the gaffle here. Over the weekend, Donald Trump made insanely baseless accusations against Barack Obama. To be clear, this action was taken for one reason and one reason only: to distract from finding a link between Trump’s administration and Russia. It’s no coincidence that right as the Russia talk heats up, a new story is thrown against the wall. All I know is, it’ll take more than Twitter to fool me, son.

Now, before I continue, let me outline some FACTS. First, Michael Flynn, Trump’s former National Security Advisor, lied about being in contact with the Russian ambassador. For that move, he lost his job. Second, Jeff Sessions, Trump’s current Attorney General, ALSO lied about being in contact with the Russian ambassador. To make matters worse, Sessions told these fairy tales during his confirmation hearing. Meaning, he perjured himself. For that action, he has to recuse himself from any potential investigation between Trump and Russia. In addition, if any further dirt is discovered, then Sessions could also lose his job.

Moving on, let me outline some unfounded opinions. As it stands, Mark Levin is the man who started the rumor about Obama wiretapping Trump’s phones during the election. Now, for anyone who is unfamiliar with Levin, he’s a conservative radio host who has a documented history of saying wild shit about Obama. He’s long argued that Obama has initiated a “silent coup” within our government, enacting “martial law” through immigration, health care and law enforcement policies. In any case, Levin is the first person to claim that Obama was secretly monitoring Trump.

So, after Levin made his outrageous claims, the story ended up on Breitbart News. Side note, c’mon son, is anyone else seeing a pattern here? Once again, Steve Bannon’s repugnant ass website has dug its claws into the bullshit. Anyway, after seeing the tomfoolery on Breitbart, Trump fired off a series of tweets alleging that Obama tapped his phones during the campaign trail. Now, Trump wants an investigation into Obama’s mythical and fictitious deeds.

Ok, I have questions, son. First, if Trump has proof, then why does he need an investigation? Why doesn’t he just reveal the evidence he already has? Ohhhh, that’s because THERE IS NO EVIDENCE, MAN! This tactic is nothing more than a ruse to get people talking about this instead of Russia. The fucked up thing is, it’s working, son. Ever since Trump’s tweets, this story has been the topic of conversation on the news. Trump has successfully shifted the focus of both the public and the media. If I wasn’t so infuriated by the obvious ploy, I’d be impressed, man.

In the end, let’s cut the malarkey, son. I don’t want to hear about wiretaps and I don’t want to hear about leaks. Until the story is resolved, let’s find out what’s really good between Trump’s administration and Russia. If everything is aboveboard, then why is Trump’s staff constantly lying about speaking with Russian dignitaries? I mean, fuck conjecture, man. We know for a fact that people in this current regime have been less than truthful to the American public. At this point, I’m tired of the back and forth, man. I just want to know the truth… about everything. LC out.

P.S. FBI Director James Comey has already asked the Department of Justice to refute Trump’s claims. I find it very odd that they haven’t done so yet. The idiocy in our government is simply staggering, man. That is all.

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Get Milo Yiannopoulos The F*ck Outta Here!

So, on the latest episode of Get (Blank) The Fuck Outta Here, I bring to you Milo Yiannopoulos. This douchebag is the now-former editor of Breitbart News. Yes, the Satan-spawn of Steve Bannon has come back to plague us again. In any case, since the weekend, Milo has had a glorious downfall. On the real, I can honestly say that I don’t feel a shred of sympathy for him. Milo is a shit-stain of a person and he’s getting EVERYTHING he deserves.

Now, before I continue, let me explain to everyone who this turd is. I’ve covered the Breitbart part, but that’s just the beginning of his fuckery. If anyone actually read the filth he spewed on that website, they’d see that he has no regard for civility or humanity. This is a man who disrespects women and the LGBTQ community with regularity. Side bar, that last tidbit is EXTREMELY odd given the fact that he’s gay. Anyway, this is also the same man who made it his life’s mission to bully Leslie Jones on Twitter. Needless to say, for his constant hate, he was banned from the social media platform.

In any case, Milo’s real downfall began after some outrageous comments surfaced on a livestream. For all intents and purposes, Milo defended pedophilia. This fucking clown had the audacity to say that when older men have relationships with younger boys, they give the kids “love” and a “reliable sort of a rock.” Taking it a step further, he mentions his own childhood sexual abuse and says that he’s “grateful for Father Michael.” In Milo’s own words, he wouldn’t be as good at giving head without the priest. Finally, Milo believes that 13 year old boys are “sexually mature.”

Look, it’s very rare that I’m speechless, son. However; I’M FUCKING SPEECHLESS! I’m confused on so many levels, man! How can any functional human being speak so casually about the abuse of children? In addition, how can anyone who’s actually been abused be so nonchalant about taking a child’s innocence? I’m fucking baffled, bruh! Without question, Milo is one of the most hateful people walking this Earth. He gives no respect to women, children or anybody else, for that matter. It’s fucking disgusting, son! Shit, “disgusting” is not even a strong enough word, man. Real talk, I don’t even know how to accurately describe my disdain for this dude.

Ultimately, I’m ecstatic that Milo is losing all of achievements. So far, he’s lost his Conservative Political Action Conference invitation, his book deal and his job at Breitbart. It’s ridiculous that it took this long to get rid of him, but I’ll take it, man. All in all, Breitbart has produced nothing but hate, son. That site needs to be eradicated, along with everyone that contributes to it. LC out.

P.S. Bill Maher can get the fuck outta here too. No one’s giving this dude credit for getting Milo fired, son. Maher’s a clown for even having him on his show in the first place, man. That is all.

Say It With Me: Alexandre Bissonnette Is A Terrorist

So, it goes without saying, but the media is having a very hard time right now. Any time regular news outlets try to call Donald Trump and company out on their bullshit, they’re branded as “fake news.” On the real, the notion of “fake news” has become so prevalent these days, Trump is making it a point to bar his surrogates from even going on CNN. According to the White House, they don’t want to send their people to a place where they can’t promote their “agenda.” Those are actual words from an actual press release, son. Now, the wildest part of all of this is the fact that their preferred outlets are the biggest perpetrators of false reporting. Case in point, take a look at how Fox News and Breitbart News handled the Alexandre Bissonnette story.

Ok, before I continue, let’s make one thing clear: Bissonnette is a fucking terrorist. I’m not here to sugarcoat anything or downplay the situation. This coward walked into the Quebec Islamic Cultural Center this past Sunday, murdered six people and critically injured five others. Now, when Dylann Roof massacred nine people in South Carolina‘s Emanuel AME Church, we all rightfully mourned. However; I see no such empathy or sympathy for the Muslims who lost their lives in Canada. The hypocrisy is absolutely disgusting, man.

Look, make no mistake here. Bissonnette is a well-known sympathizer of all things racist, sexist and xenophobic. The people who know him describe him as a dude who was enthralled by Trump, Marine Le Pen and embraced far-right ideologies. In addition, he frequently made disparaging comments about immigrants and women on social media. With all of that being said, this fuckboy purposely went into that mosque to kill Muslims. THAT is an act of terrorism, plain and simple.

Now, when Fox News and Breitbart got a hold of this story, they were quick to label the possible suspect a man of “Moroccan descent.” Come to find out, the man they’re referring to is a witness who was helping authorities. Even after Canadian police officially shot down the erroneous story, Fox News didn’t immediately retract their false narrative. To make matters even worse, Breitbart is still insinuating that a Moroccan man carried out the attack. Keep in mind, Steve Bannon, the real President, is the former executive chair of Breitbart. To make matters EVEN WORSE, Sean SpicerU.S. press secretary, used this situation as justification for Trump’s Muslim Ban, despite the fact that a Muslim wasn’t even the fucking culprit!

Son, what planet are we living on right now?! I don’t want to hear shit about “fake news” anymore. We, the people, are watching facts and sensibility be destroyed right before our very eyes. Like, it’s getting to the point where it’s hard for me to focus, man. I truly can’t understand how some people don’t see the writings on the wall. *Sigh* All jokes aside, I’m starting to feel my depression creep back in. I need to get away from this fucking country, son. LC out.

Steve Bannon Is The REAL President

*Sigh* Make no mistake, people. We are seeing an apocalyptic movement right before our very eyes. We are witnessing the Communist takeover of our government. Now, in case anyone was wondering, this crusade is being led by none other than Steve Bannon, Donald Trump‘s chief strategist and senior counselor. Listen, if anyone is unaware, this man’s views should scare the shit out of all of us. If he actually accomplishes what he has set out to do, we will undoubtedly watch the end of America as we know it.

Now, to be clear, I’m no stranger to Bannon or Breitbart News. In actuality, these Nazi, excuse me, alt-right clowns love coming for my neck on social media. With that being said, I would’ve never guessed in a million years that someone of Bannon’s ilk would be in such a position of power. This asshat Trump has essentially turned over our government to a man who has previously stated he wants to destroy it.

Look, for the people who think I’m being facetious, just revisit his conversation with a Daily Beast writer back in 2013. Bannon literally said the words “I’m a Leninist. Lenin wanted to destroy the state, and that’s my goal, too. I want to bring everything crashing down, and destroy all of today’s establishment.” Now, I want everyone to re-read that statement three or four times. From there, I want everyone to ponder the fact that this man is now on the National Security Council, replacing the director of national intelligence and the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?!?

Wait, before I continue, does everyone know what Leninism is? This movement is essentially a continuation of Russian Marxism where a rogue political party overthrows the current government in the name of the working-class. From there, the victorious party will create a Socialist state. Hmm, working-class… Does that sound familiar to anyone out there? During Trump’s entire campaign, he spoke about the White working-class as if they were the only people who needed gainful employment. So, if this is the movement Bannon is trying to lead, take a wild guess who he’s trying to lead it for. Or rather, who he CLAIMS he’s trying to lead it for. Yeah, it’s as bad as it sounds, son.

Ultimately, we have a Communism and Nazism sympathizer telling the President what to do. Hell, he’s even the one who wrote Trump’s Muslim Ban executive order. Frankly, at this point, if anyone doesn’t see the problem with this, I’m convinced they have a defect. If this country is truly supposed to be a democracy, we can’t let these ideals destroy it. Shit, that’s probably why Trump never says anything bad about Russia. His chief strategist loves their history, man. God help us all. LC out.