Don’t Fall For Donald Trump’s Ruse

Nah, son. No way. Go home. Get the fuck outta here. I’m not falling for the okie doke, bruh. I’m not going for the misdirection, man. On the real, I truly hope no one believes the gaffle here. Over the weekend, Donald Trump made insanely baseless accusations against Barack Obama. To be clear, this action was taken for one reason and one reason only: to distract from finding a link between Trump’s administration and Russia. It’s no coincidence that right as the Russia talk heats up, a new story is thrown against the wall. All I know is, it’ll take more than Twitter to fool me, son.

Now, before I continue, let me outline some FACTS. First, Michael Flynn, Trump’s former National Security Advisor, lied about being in contact with the Russian ambassador. For that move, he lost his job. Second, Jeff Sessions, Trump’s current Attorney General, ALSO lied about being in contact with the Russian ambassador. To make matters worse, Sessions told these fairy tales during his confirmation hearing. Meaning, he perjured himself. For that action, he has to recuse himself from any potential investigation between Trump and Russia. In addition, if any further dirt is discovered, then Sessions could also lose his job.

Moving on, let me outline some unfounded opinions. As it stands, Mark Levin is the man who started the rumor about Obama wiretapping Trump’s phones during the election. Now, for anyone who is unfamiliar with Levin, he’s a conservative radio host who has a documented history of saying wild shit about Obama. He’s long argued that Obama has initiated a “silent coup” within our government, enacting “martial law” through immigration, health care and law enforcement policies. In any case, Levin is the first person to claim that Obama was secretly monitoring Trump.

So, after Levin made his outrageous claims, the story ended up on Breitbart News. Side note, c’mon son, is anyone else seeing a pattern here? Once again, Steve Bannon’s repugnant ass website has dug its claws into the bullshit. Anyway, after seeing the tomfoolery on Breitbart, Trump fired off a series of tweets alleging that Obama tapped his phones during the campaign trail. Now, Trump wants an investigation into Obama’s mythical and fictitious deeds.

Ok, I have questions, son. First, if Trump has proof, then why does he need an investigation? Why doesn’t he just reveal the evidence he already has? Ohhhh, that’s because THERE IS NO EVIDENCE, MAN! This tactic is nothing more than a ruse to get people talking about this instead of Russia. The fucked up thing is, it’s working, son. Ever since Trump’s tweets, this story has been the topic of conversation on the news. Trump has successfully shifted the focus of both the public and the media. If I wasn’t so infuriated by the obvious ploy, I’d be impressed, man.

In the end, let’s cut the malarkey, son. I don’t want to hear about wiretaps and I don’t want to hear about leaks. Until the story is resolved, let’s find out what’s really good between Trump’s administration and Russia. If everything is aboveboard, then why is Trump’s staff constantly lying about speaking with Russian dignitaries? I mean, fuck conjecture, man. We know for a fact that people in this current regime have been less than truthful to the American public. At this point, I’m tired of the back and forth, man. I just want to know the truth… about everything. LC out.

P.S. FBI Director James Comey has already asked the Department of Justice to refute Trump’s claims. I find it very odd that they haven’t done so yet. The idiocy in our government is simply staggering, man. That is all.

Get Milo Yiannopoulos The F*ck Outta Here!

So, on the latest episode of Get (Blank) The Fuck Outta Here, I bring to you Milo Yiannopoulos. This douchebag is the now-former editor of Breitbart News. Yes, the Satan-spawn of Steve Bannon has come back to plague us again. In any case, since the weekend, Milo has had a glorious downfall. On the real, I can honestly say that I don’t feel a shred of sympathy for him. Milo is a shit-stain of a person and he’s getting EVERYTHING he deserves.

Now, before I continue, let me explain to everyone who this turd is. I’ve covered the Breitbart part, but that’s just the beginning of his fuckery. If anyone actually read the filth he spewed on that website, they’d see that he has no regard for civility or humanity. This is a man who disrespects women and the LGBTQ community with regularity. Side bar, that last tidbit is EXTREMELY odd given the fact that he’s gay. Anyway, this is also the same man who made it his life’s mission to bully Leslie Jones on Twitter. Needless to say, for his constant hate, he was banned from the social media platform.

In any case, Milo’s real downfall began after some outrageous comments surfaced on a livestream. For all intents and purposes, Milo defended pedophilia. This fucking clown had the audacity to say that when older men have relationships with younger boys, they give the kids “love” and a “reliable sort of a rock.” Taking it a step further, he mentions his own childhood sexual abuse and says that he’s “grateful for Father Michael.” In Milo’s own words, he wouldn’t be as good at giving head without the priest. Finally, Milo believes that 13 year old boys are “sexually mature.”

Look, it’s very rare that I’m speechless, son. However; I’M FUCKING SPEECHLESS! I’m confused on so many levels, man! How can any functional human being speak so casually about the abuse of children? In addition, how can anyone who’s actually been abused be so nonchalant about taking a child’s innocence? I’m fucking baffled, bruh! Without question, Milo is one of the most hateful people walking this Earth. He gives no respect to women, children or anybody else, for that matter. It’s fucking disgusting, son! Shit, “disgusting” is not even a strong enough word, man. Real talk, I don’t even know how to accurately describe my disdain for this dude.

Ultimately, I’m ecstatic that Milo is losing all of achievements. So far, he’s lost his Conservative Political Action Conference invitation, his book deal and his job at Breitbart. It’s ridiculous that it took this long to get rid of him, but I’ll take it, man. All in all, Breitbart has produced nothing but hate, son. That site needs to be eradicated, along with everyone that contributes to it. LC out.

P.S. Bill Maher can get the fuck outta here too. No one’s giving this dude credit for getting Milo fired, son. Maher’s a clown for even having him on his show in the first place, man. That is all.

Say It With Me: Alexandre Bissonnette Is A Terrorist

So, it goes without saying, but the media is having a very hard time right now. Any time regular news outlets try to call Donald Trump and company out on their bullshit, they’re branded as “fake news.” On the real, the notion of “fake news” has become so prevalent these days, Trump is making it a point to bar his surrogates from even going on CNN. According to the White House, they don’t want to send their people to a place where they can’t promote their “agenda.” Those are actual words from an actual press release, son. Now, the wildest part of all of this is the fact that their preferred outlets are the biggest perpetrators of false reporting. Case in point, take a look at how Fox News and Breitbart News handled the Alexandre Bissonnette story.

Ok, before I continue, let’s make one thing clear: Bissonnette is a fucking terrorist. I’m not here to sugarcoat anything or downplay the situation. This coward walked into the Quebec Islamic Cultural Center this past Sunday, murdered six people and critically injured five others. Now, when Dylann Roof massacred nine people in South Carolina‘s Emanuel AME Church, we all rightfully mourned. However; I see no such empathy or sympathy for the Muslims who lost their lives in Canada. The hypocrisy is absolutely disgusting, man.

Look, make no mistake here. Bissonnette is a well-known sympathizer of all things racist, sexist and xenophobic. The people who know him describe him as a dude who was enthralled by Trump, Marine Le Pen and embraced far-right ideologies. In addition, he frequently made disparaging comments about immigrants and women on social media. With all of that being said, this fuckboy purposely went into that mosque to kill Muslims. THAT is an act of terrorism, plain and simple.

Now, when Fox News and Breitbart got a hold of this story, they were quick to label the possible suspect a man of “Moroccan descent.” Come to find out, the man they’re referring to is a witness who was helping authorities. Even after Canadian police officially shot down the erroneous story, Fox News didn’t immediately retract their false narrative. To make matters even worse, Breitbart is still insinuating that a Moroccan man carried out the attack. Keep in mind, Steve Bannon, the real President, is the former executive chair of Breitbart. To make matters EVEN WORSE, Sean SpicerU.S. press secretary, used this situation as justification for Trump’s Muslim Ban, despite the fact that a Muslim wasn’t even the fucking culprit!

Son, what planet are we living on right now?! I don’t want to hear shit about “fake news” anymore. We, the people, are watching facts and sensibility be destroyed right before our very eyes. Like, it’s getting to the point where it’s hard for me to focus, man. I truly can’t understand how some people don’t see the writings on the wall. *Sigh* All jokes aside, I’m starting to feel my depression creep back in. I need to get away from this fucking country, son. LC out.

Donald Trump’s Administration Is Already Scaring The F*ck Outta Me!

Ever since Donald Trump‘s ascent to the presidency, thanks to the stupid ass Electoral College, I’ve been hearing newly unearthed supporters complain about being labeled racists. In their eyes, they’re being unfairly portrayed as bigots and simply see Trump as a necessary “change” to the political landscape. In addition, I keep reading these dissertations about the disaffected White working-class and how he’s giving them hope. However; when I start to look at the individuals Trump is grooming for his cabinet, fuck ALL of that “woe is me” bullshit, son! Trump is everything people with morals thought he was: a racist, sexist and xenophobic piece of shit! If anyone still doesn’t understand that based on his appointment of Steve Bannon as Chief Strategist, then they’re part of the fucking problem, son!

Now, where do I even start with this Bannon clown, man? So, for the last five years, Bannon has presided over Breitbart News. This particular website has been the Holy Grail for the alt-right political movement. If anyone hates themselves, just take a quick gander at that shit-hole of a site. The deplorable turds who assist Bannon in spreading his hate speech have written such dubious articles as “Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive and Crazy” and “Gabby Giffords: The Gun Control Movement’s Human Shield.” In addition, they have an entire section dedicated to perpetuating the myth of Black-on-Black crime and proclaimed the “glorious heritage” of the Confederate Flag two weeks after Dylann Roof killed nine churchgoers in South Carolina.

In regards to Bannon himself, he’s infamous for such dastardly acts as keeping his kids out of a particular school to avoid having them around Jews and choking his ex-wife back in 1996. To make matters worse, since his appointment, White supremacists like David Duke and Richard Spencer have expressed joy at Bannon’s newfound position. To them, this solidifies Trump’s dedication to the cause. So, to cover it all, Bannon hates minorities, women, gays, Jews and anyone else who doesn’t look like him. That man is now Trump’s Chief Strategist. I want everyone to let that sink in, for a moment.

In the end, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What the fuck, man? What the entire fuck, man?! Miss me with all of the explanations for why Trump’s campaign wasn’t built on bigotry. From now on, if anybody tries to make that argument to me, I’ll just mention Steve Bannon’s name. He completely shuts down all of those half-ass theories, man. Good day. Wait, no, it’s not a fucking good day, son! I’m out!