Keeping it a buck, being a parent is stressful, son. Like, it’s a never-ending cycle of “I’m not really sure I know what the fuck I’m doing,” man. Anyway, I thought I had more time before the “birds and the bees” talk, fam. I mean, my oldest son is only 7 years old. In my mind, I thought I had until at LEAST 10, bruh. However; with the way things are progressing, I may need to get my PowerPoint presentation ready, people.
So, here’s why I’m having a mini panic attack. Apparently, my firstborn has a girlfriend. Now, when my wife first told me that, I feel like the information went in one ear and out the other. Side note, I’m sure she’d argue that’s because I “don’t listen to her.” However; in reality, my brain just couldn’t process that story, son. In any case, from what I understand, my son and this young lady spend time with each other at lunch and dismissal. Even wilder, SHE’s the one who pressed him about whether he was her boyfriend or not. Fam, I thought he’d have to wait until his teenage years to face that kinda heat. I guess it all starts early, son.
Now, I won’t lie, my mind is in a tailspin, man. Listen, even though my son claims they haven’t kissed yet, I bet that’s right around the corner, fam. Shit, I kissed my first girl in kindergarten, bruh. Real talk, I know how fast all of that shit can happen, folks. To make matters worse, he already asked me what sex means because he heard the word in a song. Man, what the fuck is happening around here?! I could’ve sworn this dude just learned how to walk last year! How does he have a damn girlfriend already?! Look, I’m not prepared for ANY of this shit, son!
With all of that being said, when is the right time to have “the talk” with children? On one hand, I don’t want to introduce him to some shit he’s not ready for. On the other hand, I don’t want to be OD late to the party and have to tell his ass to slow down. Look, amongst my friends, I’m the OG parent in the group. However; this is some uncharted territory, man! At this point, I’m willing to listen to any sound advice, fam. Shit, it’s either that or I’m going to have to lock him away until I figure this out. In the end, I miss the diaper days, bruh. LC out.