Whose Mans Is This: The Attempted Robbery Of Polyana Viana

Good morning, friends and acquaintances. My name is LC and I’d like to talk to everyone about bad decisions. Now, as seen in the photo above, the man on the left is VERY familiar with bad decisions, son. Look, while attempting to rob the woman on the right, he got the holy shit beat out of him, man. All I know is, when people search for “poetic justice” on Google, his picture should show up, fam. In any case, let’s all take the time to mercilessly laugh at this dude, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, an attempted mugging went down in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil on Saturday night. Now, an unnamed assailant with a cardboard gun tried to steal a woman’s phone. Little did he know the woman was Polyana Viana, a UFC Strawweight fighter. Anyway, once she realized what was going on, she quickly sprang into action, son. According to the story, after his botched robbery, she punched him twice, hit him with a kick and then put him in a rear-naked choke. From there, he was incapacitated until the cops came. To make matters even funnier, he was asking for the police after getting his ass beat.

On the real, this story is super hilarious to me, man. I mean, he literally couldn’t have picked a worse target, fam. Shit, of all of the people he could’ve attacked, he chose the damn assassin, bruh. For God’s sake, that’s fucking BEAUTIFUL, son. Also, in my eyes, this situation is the perfect example of why all women should train in the martial arts, man. Like, they could pick boxing, they could pick jiu-jitsu or just MMA in general. All in all, knowing a lil sum sum could potentially save a life, brethren. So, everybody needs to chop chop and get to it, folks.

In the end, vengeance is mine, said the Lord. Except for when a clown tries to rob someone and gets righteously mollywopped. Ultimately, this guy got EXACTLY what he deserved, son. By and by, long live Polyana Viana, man! She’s the real MVP, fam. Hey, Dana White, gives this woman a raise, bruh. That is all. LC out.

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Tyson Fury Beat Deontay Wilder

So, let me begin this post by saying I hate boxing, son. Actually, I take that back, man. In reality, I just hate boxing judges, fam. Like, I legitimately believe they get A LOT of decisions wrong, bruh. Now, in the case of Deontay Wilder versus Tyson Fury, there’s one particular judge I need to address. With that being said, I honestly pray that Alejandro Rochin is never allowed to call another fight again, brethren.

Ok, for those who hate cool things, a huge boxing match took place on Saturday. To make a long story short, Wilder, the WBC Heavyweight Champion, defended his belt against Fury, the former WBA, IBF, WBO, IBO, The Ring and Lineal Heavyweight Champion. Anyway, on paper, the fight looked like the classic “boxer versus brawler” prototype. I mean, Fury is the (way) more technically sound fighter while Wilder has insane one-punch power. Moving on, in my mind, there were only two ways this fight could end, son: Wilder by knockout or Fury by decision.

Well, let me say that I was fucking wrong, man. The problem is, I should’ve been right, fam. Shit, the fight went to a decision, and somehow, it ended in a draw. Look, the way I saw it, Fury definitely won that fight, bruh. Ok, yes, Wilder did knock Fury down twice. Side note, how the FUCK did Fury get up in that 12th round, son? For God‘s sake, he looked fucking DEAD, people. All I know is, Tyson Fury is a cotdamn warrior, brethren. Anyway, besides those knockdowns, Wilder only connected on 17% of his punches, folks. Meaning, Fury CONSISTENTLY made him miss. From my vantage point, Fury easily won about 7 or 8 rounds. So, those knockdowns shouldn’t have been the nail in the coffin.

Now, let me be real, son. At first, I thought the decision was a flat-out robbery. However, after looking at the judges scorecards, I only vehemently disagree with Rochin. Listen, Robert Tapper scored the fight 114-112, meaning he believed that Fury won 8 rounds. On the other hand, Phil Edwards scored the fight 113-113, meaning he believed that Fury won 7 rounds. Real talk, I can live with that, son. These scores mean that the knockdowns cost Fury a clear-cut victory. So, Wilder’s crazy power got him out of a jam, man.

However, for whatever reason, Alejandro Rochin scored the fight 115-111 for Wilder. This means that he thought Deontay won 7 rounds. Man, what? What?! What 7 rounds could he possibly have thought that Wilder won? Like, he believed that Wilder won the first 4 rounds. Fam, he didn’t lay a fucking glove on Fury! How can a man win a round if he literally couldn’t hit the other guy? Is Rochin fucking serious, bruh?! For me, that score was just as bad as Adalaide Byrd saying that Canelo Álvarez beat Gennady Golovkin 118-110 in their first fight. Hell, that’s absolute fucking nonsense, son!

In the end, Rochin needs to find a new occupation, man. Ultimately, he shitted on one of the greatest comeback stories, fam. By and by, Fury is a MUCH better fighter than Wilder. Then again, we already knew that, bruh. At the end of the day, Wilder’s power really is the great neutralizer, son. Keeping it a buck, two punches saved him his title, folks. That is all. LC out.

P.S. We all know why this fight ended like this, son. All in all, the powers that be want to see Wilder fight Anthony Joshua, man. Hell, that fight has been teased for years and it might finally go down in April, fam. *Sigh* I get it, but I feel bad for Fury, bruh. Seriously, he won that fucking fight, folks. Good day.

P.P.S. I want to wish Adonis Stevenson a speedy recovery, son. After getting knocked out by Oleksandr Gvozdyk in the 11th round on Saturday, the former WBC Light Heavyweight Champion ended up in the hospital. As of right now, he’s in stable condition. This is great to hear since he was originally in critical condition and in a medically-induced coma. Either way, it’s a terrible situation and I wish him and his family the best. Ok, I’m gone, for real.

What The F*ck Is Floyd Mayweather Doing?

So, this dude Floyd Mayweather just can’t seem to stay retired, huh? I mean, every time he says he’s done fighting, he finds some new way to gank folks of their money, son. In any case, since he doesn’t want to fight actual boxers anymore, he’s going for anything that will drum up attention. First, it was his bout against Conor McGregor, who had no professional boxing matches on his record. Now, he’s planning to fight Tenshin Nasukawa, an undefeated kickboxer/MMA fighter from Japan.

Ok, for those who missed it, Mayweather just held a press conference in Tokyo. Now, apparently, on December 31st, he’s fighting Nasukawa at the Saitama Super Arena in Saitama, Japan. Furthermore, this match will be promoted by the Rizin Fighting Federation. With all of that being said, there are still a lot of details that we don’t know. First, we don’t know what the rule set of the fight will be. I mean, we all know Mayweather is a boxer, so is he really trying to engage in leg kicks and takedowns with Nasukawa? Shit, that could be disastrous for Mayweather, man. Look, as a man who’s been kicked in his legs and choked before, I wouldn’t recommend it to a novice, fam. Side note, both instances happened in a gym, bruh. I don’t need anyone out there thinking that I’m getting helmed up in these streets. I’m just saying.

In the end, we’ll see, son. Ultimately, Mayweather doesn’t move unless the bag is involved. So, I’m assuming that he’s about to get stupidly paid, man. By and by, if it’s a boxing match, then I probably won’t tune in. However, if it’s a kickboxing or MMA bout, then Mayweather might have my attention, fam. At the end of the day, he might be testing the waters of other combat sports. Hell, he needs to before he even thinks about stepping in a cage with Khabib Nurmagomedov or McGregor. Either way, he’d still get mauled, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Stop Hating, Floyd Mayweather

Man, I swear that attention actually matters more to Floyd Mayweather than money. I mean, anytime the spotlight is on someone else, he finds a way to weasel himself into the situation. On the real, for someone who’s had so much success, I really don’t understand why he always feels the need to be so damn petty. Like, regardless of how people may personally view him, he’s without question one of the greatest boxers ever. So, why won’t homie just shut the fuck up and ride off into the sunset?

Ok, for those who missed it, Mayweather has been doing a lot of fuckity-fuck shit lately. Well, let me be more specific, son. Real talk, he’s had an entire life of fuckity-fuck moments. Anyway, over the last view months, he’s been blatantly trying to steal Canelo Álvarez‘ shine. First, there was Mayweather’s out-of-the-blue announcement that he’s planning on fighting Manny Pacquiao again. Now, this random assertion came on the same day as the rematch between Canelo and Gennady Golovkin. Basically, Mayweather couldn’t let such a huge fight go down without throwing his name in the ring (pun intended).

Now, Mayweather wants to shit on Canelo’s new deal with DAZN. As previously reported, Canelo just signed a 5-year, 11-fight deal with the streaming service for $365 million. Essentially, he just signed the richest contract in sports history. In any case, instead of being happy for Canelo or simply minding his business, Mayweather took to Instagram to hate. He brought up the fact that he previously beat Canelo (while claiming that he’s a worse fighter than Conor McGregor) and bragged about his pay-per-view payouts. Listen, we all know that Mayweather made a lot of money and bested Canelo before. But, who the fuck was talking about that, man? Then, to make matters worse, he posted a picture of Oscar De La Hoya (former opponent/Canelo promoter) dressed in drag. For what? For God‘s sake, no one was even talking about Mayweather, fam!

In the end, Mayweather should just take his money and go home, bruh. Ultimately, no one wants to see him act like a hoe ass hoe anymore. In addition, no one wants to see him box Khabib Nurmagomedov. By and by, he’s had his time in the sun, man. At the end of the day, he’s just out here looking like a clown, son. Then again, this isn’t the first time he’s been out here looking like a clown, fam. Frankly, he may be better at that than boxing, brethren. That is all. LC out.

Conor McGregor Finessed Dana White

Well, well, well, what do we have here, son? Two MMA posts in two days? That’s a record for me, man. Anyway, today’s post isn’t really about the fight between Conor McGregor and Khabib Nurmagomedov. I mean, who the fuck knows what’s going to happen, fam? On the real, the end result will come down to either Khabib’s wrestling or McGregor’s left hand. In any case, I’m really here to talk about McGregor’s business acumen, bruh. All in all, he straight finessed Dana White, folks.

So, for those who missed it, McGregor and Khabib just had their first face-to-face meeting. In general, the press conference for their upcoming fight was a complete shit-show, son. Frankly, it was exactly what I thought it would be, man: McGregor going ballistic and Khabib calmly looking like a serial killer. Moving on, more news came out right after the press conference: namely, McGregor’s new deal with the UFC. All I can say is, McGregor found a way to make White pay him, fam.

Look, it’s no secret that McGregor made an ass-load of money from boxing Floyd Mayweather. Keeping it a buck, no MMA paycheck would even come close to a nine-figure payout, bruh. Shit, Georges St-Pierre is one of the GOAT‘s and I’m pretty sure he made a little over $2 million in his last fight. Now, that’s a pretty number to a dude like me, but that ain’t shit compared to what McGregor raked in from boxing. In any case, the UFC had to give McGregor a real reason to step back into the Octagon, son. So, how did they do it? By bending over and touching their toes for McGregor.

Apparently, The Notorious just signed a six-fight deal with the UFC. As part of the deal, he gets points on the pay-per-view buys, and his whiskey, Proper Whiskey, will serve as a sponsor for all of his fights. Basically, he’s getting paid three different ways every time he steps into that cage, man. All I know is, THAT’S how fighters should do business with Dana White, fam. Listen, I know everybody doesn’t have McGregor’s celebrity, but White has been ganking fighters for years, bruh. Keeping it a buck, it’s about damn time that someone got one up on him, son.

In the end, congrats to McGregor, man. Ultimately, he may be a crazy person, but he knows his worth, fam. By and by, his fight with Khabib is going to be straight insanity, bruh. At the end of the day, McGregor’s left hand is his only hope, people. The way I see it, if he can’t stop Khabib’s takedowns, then the match is going to be absolute abuse, folks. Regardless, I can’t wait to see it, brethren. That is all. LC out.

My Thoughts On Canelo, GGG & People Who Don’t ‘Understand’ Boxing

So, here we are, son. Another fight between Saúl “Canelo” Álvarez and Gennady Golovkin and another controversial decision, man. Now, I won’t lie, fam. This fight was close as fuck, bruh. Look, even though I had GGG winning, I can legitimately see an argument for the fight being a draw. Side note, that would be a REAL draw. Not that bullshit they pulled in the first fight, people. Listen, GGG won their first contest, don’t @ me, bro. In any case, today’s post isn’t about the match, per se. It’s more so about the trolls who can’t engage in a civil debate, folks.

Now, anytime there’s a fight, there’s always going to be a post-fight argument, son. No matter who a person is rooting for, if that fighter loses, folks are going to claim it’s a “robbery.” Real talk, that’s just the nature of the game, man. The problem is, anytime someone has a different opinion about a fight’s outcome, they get accused of not “understanding” the sport. No, bitch, we just have a different fucking opinion, fam! Shit, the last time I checked, we’re allowed to have a differing viewpoint, bruh.

Look, for better AND for worse (mostly worse), boxing is a subjective sport, son. Meaning, two people can watch the same exact thing and reach a different conclusion, man. For me, Canelo had no answer for GGG’s jab. But, Canelo was also more accurate with his power punches. All in all, I thought GGG won seven rounds to five. Frankly, it all came down to the 12th round and I gave that one to GGG. Regardless, I can see an argument for the final round being too close to call and the fight being a draw. Hell, that’s just the type of bout it was, fam.

In the end, I have to give Canelo his credit, bruh. Ultimately, he stood toe-to-toe with GGG and squeaked out a close decision. By and by, I have no idea how there weren’t any knockdowns, son. For God‘s sake, they were throwing bombs at each other, man. Anyway, I’m always going to look at Canelo sideways for his failed drug tests. However, he fought a good fight, fam. At the end of the day, the judges screwed GGG again and he’s still the REAL Middleweight champion. Sadly, I highly doubt the powers that be (*cough* Oscar De La Hoya *cough*) will give GGG another shot at Canelo. I mean, Álvarez is the cash cow, folks. *Sigh* Such is boxing, people. That is all. LC out.

The Most Hoe-ified Boxer Ever

So, I won’t lie, son. I’m only writing this post so I can make fun of Curtis Harper, man. I mean, I’ve literally NEVER seen a boxer walk out of the ring AFTER the opening bell, fam. At this point, I don’t want to hear any of his excuses, bruh. Shit, let’s just call a spade a spade, brethren. Real talk, Harper was scared of getting knocked out by Efe Ajagba. Any other explanation is straight nonsense, folks.

Ok, for those who missed it, Harper and Ajagba were supposed to fight this past Friday night. Look, this bout was such a done deal that both fighters actually made it into the ring. Now, this is where things get confusing and hilarious, son. After touching gloves and hearing the hell, Harper straight walked out of the ring and went back to the locker room, man. As expected, the fans unceremoniously booed him as he made his cowardly journey to the back of the building.

Now, according to Harper, he left to “make a statement.” Apparently, he wasn’t happy with his contract and felt like he deserved more money. Listen, there are a TON of reasons why that’s pure bullshit, fam. First, he signed the fucking contract! Hell, if he wasn’t happy with his pay, then why did he sign on the doted line? On the real, that’s his fault now. He should’ve made a better decision before he agreed to the fight. Second, before this disqualification loss, he lost two of his last three fights. Why the fuck would he think he deserved more, bruh? Lastly, his opponent, Ajagba, won all of his previous fights by knockout. As a matter of fact, almost all of those matches ended in the first round.

With all of that being said, Harper was just scared, son. He knew he was gonna get knocked the fuck out and didn’t feel like the money was enough. Frankly, that’s a hoe ass hoe move and this will probably end Harper’s career. Shit, ain’t nobody gonna book a dude who will straight ghost on a fight IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING FIGHT! *Sigh* Smart move, genius.

In the end, everyone can watch a video of Harper’s sucker-ness below. Ultimately, it was comical to watch a grown man display such herb-ery, man. By and by, this is how Harper will be remembered as a boxer, fam. Like, losing is one thing, but being a coward is unforgivable, bruh. At the end of the day, I hope it was worth it, Harper. That is all. LC out.