Whose Mans Is This: The Attempted Robbery Of Polyana Viana

Good morning, friends and acquaintances. My name is LC and I’d like to talk to everyone about bad decisions. Now, as seen in the photo above, the man on the left is VERY familiar with bad decisions, son. Look, while attempting to rob the woman on the right, he got the holy shit beat out of him, man. All I know is, when people search for “poetic justice” on Google, his picture should show up, fam. In any case, let’s all take the time to mercilessly laugh at this dude, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, an attempted mugging went down in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil on Saturday night. Now, an unnamed assailant with a cardboard gun tried to steal a woman’s phone. Little did he know the woman was Polyana Viana, a UFC Strawweight fighter. Anyway, once she realized what was going on, she quickly sprang into action, son. According to the story, after his botched robbery, she punched him twice, hit him with a kick and then put him in a rear-naked choke. From there, he was incapacitated until the cops came. To make matters even funnier, he was asking for the police after getting his ass beat.

On the real, this story is super hilarious to me, man. I mean, he literally couldn’t have picked a worse target, fam. Shit, of all of the people he could’ve attacked, he chose the damn assassin, bruh. For God’s sake, that’s fucking BEAUTIFUL, son. Also, in my eyes, this situation is the perfect example of why all women should train in the martial arts, man. Like, they could pick boxing, they could pick jiu-jitsu or just MMA in general. All in all, knowing a lil sum sum could potentially save a life, brethren. So, everybody needs to chop chop and get to it, folks.

In the end, vengeance is mine, said the Lord. Except for when a clown tries to rob someone and gets righteously mollywopped. Ultimately, this guy got EXACTLY what he deserved, son. By and by, long live Polyana Viana, man! She’s the real MVP, fam. Hey, Dana White, gives this woman a raise, bruh. That is all. LC out.

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Francis Ngannou Is An Alien!

So, here’s a fun fact about me: I’m obsessed with Mixed Martial Arts. Like, I watch an exorbitant amount of MMA events, son. I mean, I watch the UFC and Bellator religiously, man. Hell, if someone told me that two dudes were having a Muay Thai fight on the block, I’d probably watch that shit too, fam. With that being said, I’ve already become a big fan of Francis Ngannou. Now, he may have only 12 fights under his belt, but at the rate he’s progressing, he may soon be the UFC Heavyweight champion. Shit, either that or he’ll kill somebody in the octagon, bruh. All in all, I’m down for any scenario, folks.

Ok, I was inspired to write about this dude because of the carnage he unleashed at UFC 218. Now, in case anybody missed it, this guy punched Alistair Overeem into an alternate dimension, son. Shit, just look at the embedded photo above, man. Listen, Overeem was put to sleep before he even hit the ground, fam! To make matters worse, Ngannou’s leg wasn’t even planted properly, meaning there’s no way he hit Overeem with full force. So, if he could mangle a man with only a portion of his strength, then what kind of Hulk shit is this dude really capable of, bruh?

In the end, there isn’t much else to say here, son. Ngannou is a monster and he’s about to get a crack at Stipe Miocic, the current Heavyweight champion. Ultimately, Miocic is a beast himself, but I don’t know if he has any answers for that Ngannou onslaught. All I know is, that fight can’t come soon enough, man. By and by, I’ll catch everyone at UFC 220, fam! The way I see it, there’s NO WAY the fight between Ngannou and Miocic goes to a decision. Real talk, someone might perish in that cage, bruh. In any case, let the mayhem begin! LC out.