Dear Basketball Gods: Give Us Zion Williamson!

So, I’m going to keep this post short today. All I can say is, I’m a lifelong New York Knicks fan who needs some damn relief, son. With that being said, I’m on fucking edge right now, man! I mean, the NBA Draft Lottery is tonight and I’m STRESSED, fam! All in all, I NEED the Knicks to get the first pick so we can get Zion Williamson.

Ok, for those who are unaware, tonight is an important night for the league. The Draft Lottery will let us know the order of the upcoming NBA Draft. More importantly, it’ll let basketball fans know where Williamson will end up next season. Like, let’s be real, bruh: Zion is going number one. But, we don’t know which team will get the pick. Currently, my Knicks have a 14% chance of getting it. Frankly, I don’t like those odds, son.

Look, I don’t know what else to say, man. Keeping it a buck, I’m nervous as fuck, fam. All I know is, I hope Patrick Ewing can give us some good luck while he represents us tonight. The fact is, Knicks fans have suffered enough, bruh. Like, can we FINALLY get a win, son? Please? PLEASE?! For God‘s sake, I’m tired of the tomfoolery, folks. Tired, tired, tired!

In the end, I’m on pins and needles, son. Ultimately, I’m just praying for something good, man. By and by, I won’t know what to do with myself if we don’t get this pick, fam. *Sigh* Excuse me while I go drink my anxiety away, bruh. Viva la Zion! That is all. LC out.

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Kawhi Leonard OD’d!

So, before I begin, I’d like to apologize to Kawhi Leonard. I mean, I was hard on him for the way he left the San Antonio Spurs, son. Frankly, I thought he ditched the team in a very unprofessional way. On top of that, I undervalued him as a player. Now, while I still think he ganked the Spurs for their time, I was dead wrong about him as a player, man. All in all, he’s been killing it this season, especially in the playoffs. With all of that being said, the shot he hit last night was one for the fucking ages, fam.

Ok, for those who missed it, Leonard hit one of the craziest shots I’ve ever seen. Now, with the score tied in a Game 7 between the Toronto Raptors and Philadelphia 76ers, Leonard hit a buzzer-beating corner jumper to send the Sixers home. On the real, the shot alone was bad enough, bruh. But, the ball took like four bounces on the rim before going in. I mean, the Sixers have to be siiiiiick, son. Like, the tears in Joel Embiid‘s eyes said it all, man.

Look, I don’t know what to say about that shot, fam. Frankly, I don’t have the vocabulary to express how incredible that shit was, bruh. Real talk, I’d need George R. R. Martin to write some eloquent shit, son. In any case, everyone can just watch the basket here. All I know is, Leonard napalmed the Sixers hopes and dreams, man. On top of that, Leonard didn’t even have his greatest game. Yeah, he had 41 points, but he wasn’t as efficient as he’s been all playoffs. In any case, when the Raptors needed him, he got that shit done, brethren.

In the end, I fucking love basketball, son. Hell, my wife got pissed at me because I woke her up by yelling when that shot went in. Anyway, the next round matchup between the Raptors and the Milwaukee Bucks is going to be wild, man. All I can say is, I can’t fucking wait, fam! Viva la NBA! LC out.

P.S. Ben Simmons is trash and no one can convince me otherwise. That is all.

Ayesha Curry Can’t Have It Both Ways

So, let me keep it real, son. I’m going to try my best to utilize my analytical side and not my “I’m a husband who’d want to drop kick somebody” side. Frankly, I’m not here to bash Ayesha Curry, man. On the real, I’m just trying to make sense of her nonsensical-ness, fam. All in all, she can’t want attention from men AND get mad at the attention that Steph Curry gets.

Ok, for those who missed it, Mrs. Curry sat down with Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith and Adrienne Banfield-Norris for an episode of Red Table Talk. Now, although a variety of topics were touched on during the discussion, a few tidbits caught people’s attention. First, Curry talked about how she hates the reactions that Steph gets from women. I mean, that’s completely understandable, bruh. Like, what spouse wants to see their significant other ogled by outsiders?

Now, if that’s where the discussion ended, then all would be well, son. Instead, Curry divulged a little bit more information. To be more specific, she chose to illuminate some of her own insecurities. In any case, she stated that she wishes she got more “male attention.” Apparently, while Steph has been dodging all of these unwanted eyes, Ayesha wishes more men looked at her in that way. In fact, due to the lack of gazing stares, she began to wonder if something was wrong with her.

Look, I’m not an idiot, man. Real talk, everyone likes to know that people find them attractive. However, that shit needs to stop mattering when you’re fucking married. On top of that, she can’t get mad at women for wanting Steph when she desires the same type of interest. Furthermore, I need some of the ladies out there to stop caping for her, fam. Hell, if someone’s husband told them “damn, I wish these ladies looked my way more,” they’d be fucking pissed, bruh. All I know is, Steph and Ayesha need to be enough for Steph and Ayesha.

In the end, Ayesha needs to let that shit go, son. Ultimately, as long as she has Steph and Steph has her, outside influences shouldn’t matter, man. In addition, this is the last thing homie needs right now, fam. By and by, he’s having a rough time in the playoffs, bruh. Shit, I wouldn’t put it past an opponent to throw this in his face on the court, folks. At the end of the day, we need to be careful what we wish for, brethren. She might get that attention she wants and fuck up her marriage. Knock it off, Ayesha. That is all. LC out.

Russell Westbrook Is Trid-ash

So, let me begin this post by saying that I used to vehemently defend Russell Westbrook. I always gave him credit for his hustle, passion and otherworldly athleticism. However, enough is enough, son. The fact is, he’s an outrageously inefficient player, man. On the real, the triple doubles have fooled a lot of us, fam. All I know is, the Oklahoma City Thunder will never win shit if Westbrook continues to play in this manner.

Now, for those who are ready to roast me, let’s look at some statistics, bruh. Ok, yes, he’s averaged a triple double for the last three seasons. All in all, he’s the first player to ever do that in NBA history. So, is that impressive? Yes. But, it doesn’t tell the whole story, son. Listen, over the last two years, he’s averaged 43% shooting from the field and 29% from 3-point range. That’s fucking atrocious, man. The problem is, his performances in the postseason are even worse, fam.

Look, Westbrook has played 18 playoff games since him and Kevin Durant squandered a 3-1 lead against the Golden State Warriors. During that stretch, the Thunder have gone 4-14. To make matters worse, Westbrook has shot 38% from the field and 30% from 3-point range. Frankly, those numbers are gross, bruh. But, no one seems to notice because he’s also averaged 29 PPG, 10 RPG and 9 APG. So, he’s close to his triple double average, but his team is losing and his shooting is disrespectfully bad. All I can say is, that’s not a coincidence, folks.

The way I see it, this last series against the Portland Trail Blazers proved that triple doubles are meaningless, son. Shit, in the last game when Damian Lillard stole their soul, Westbrook had a triple double. He also shot 11-31 from the field. Man, he took 11 more shots than Paul George who was shooting 70% that night. Like, that’s just poor basketball IQ, fam. Listen, a bad shooter was having a bad night and he still wouldn’t stop chucking the ball. That’s a fucking problem, bruh. Hell, he had games like that all series, people. In Game 2, he was one rebound away from another triple double, but he went 5-20 from the field. In Game 4, he went 5-21 on his shots. That’s three games where he had more shot attempts than points. So, remind me again why the triple doubles matter, brethren.

In the end, I’m sick of the bullshit, son. Ultimately, Westbrook will never win anything if he continues to play this way. By and by, I crucified Kevin Durant for joining the Warriors, but not for leaving Westbrook. At the end of the day, I understood why he had to get away from him, man. Keeping it a buck, Russell Westbrook just doesn’t play smart basketball, fam. It is what it is. Maybe now he’ll stop shooting so many damn threes. Probably not, though. That is all. LC out.

Damian Lillard Is A Cold Motherf*cker

So, I’m going to try and keep this post short today, son. Frankly, I only have one message, man: Damian Lillard is a cold motherfucker, fam. I mean, SHIT, bruh! What the hell kinda shot was that?! Look, I know that Lillard isn’t a stranger to series-winning shots. But, what he did to the Oklahoma City Thunder was just disrespectful, folks. On the real, that might have been the most “suck my dick” shot I’ve ever seen, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it and hate themselves, the first round series between the Thunder and the Portland Trail Blazers was amazing, son. Now, don’t be fooled by the 4-1 outcome, man. Real talk, there was A LOT of animosity between these teams, fam. Correction, there was A LOT of animosity between Lillard and Russell Westbrook. Hell, as competing point guards, Lillard and Westbrook were essentially trying to kill each other, bruh. All I know is, Lillard got in Westbrook’s ass the entire series, people.

First, we could talk about the fact that Lillard outscored Westbrook in four of the five games. Side note, the one game that Westbrook outscored Lillard, it was only by a 33 to 32 margin, son. In any case, Lillard was outplaying Westbrook at every turn. Also, when it was time to take over a game, it was Lillard putting the Blazers on his back. On the flip side, Westbrook was a damn liability most of the time. Shit, his inept shooting was a large part of why the Thunder lost this series, man.

Now, if outplaying Westbrook wasn’t enough, Lillard decided to plunge the sword in the heart, fam. Not only did he drop 50 on their headtop, but he hit a series-winning, buzzer-beating shot from 37 feet. 37 fucking feet, bruh! Like, shit doesn’t get any more emphatic than that, bruh. Keeping it a buck, losing in that fashion has to be demoralizing, son. All I can say is, I’d have to fight Lillard if he hit that shot on me.

In the end, long live Damian Lillard! Ultimately, he’s been underrated for years, man. By and by, maybe now people will realize that he’s been cold-blooded for quite some time, fam. On top of that, Westbrook is no longer allowed to talk shit to him. That wave is dead, bruh. Finito. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Everyone should watch the shot below, son. Seriously, it’s fucking incredible, man. Good day.

Stop Giving Laura Ingraham Attention

So, before I begin, let me say that I know what some people might be thinking. Yeah, I’m aware that writing this post is a bit hypocritical, given the title. However, today’s thoughts aren’t really about Laura Ingraham. In reality, they’re about how we all react to Laura Ingraham. Keeping it a buck, we need to stop giving her attention, son. All in all, why the fuck do we care about what she says, man?

Ok, for those who missed it, Laura Ingraham went into her Laura Ingraham bag. Now, while addressing Nipsey Hussle’s funeral at the Staples Center, she decided to laugh and take swipes at the deceased rapper. I mean, despite all of the things that Hussle did for his community, Ingraham simply labeled him as an artist who “released a song called ‘FDT,” F Donald Trump.” From there, her and Raymond Arroyo showed a picture of YG, not Nip, and laughed about the song’s chorus. All I can say is, it was incredibly distasteful, fam.

But, with all of that being said, why is anyone surprised, bruh? Like, this is the same woman who told LeBron James to “shut up and dribble.” This is the same woman who publicly ridiculed David Hogg, a survivor of the Parkland shooting. Frankly, she’s given us AMPLE examples that she’s a piece of shit, son. The truth is, the more we react to her tomfoolery, the more she’s going to feel emboldened, man. Real talk, she’s no different than Tomi Lahren, fam. The way I see it, we need to stop giving these vapid losers notoriety, folks. Their opinions truly mean nothing, brethren.

In the end, Ingraham is going to Ingraham, son. Ultimately, when she gets on her bullshit, we need to look the other way, man. By and by, if a tree falls in the forest and no one’s there to hear it, does it make a sound? Who the fuck cares, fam? Let that tree “tree” by itself, bruh. At the end of the day, our anger is what these idiots feed off of, people. They don’t deserve any of our peace, B. That is all. LC out.

The Los Angeles Lakers Are A Sh*tshow

Look, before I even begin, let me acknowledge the fact that I’m a New York Knicks fan. This means that I am accustomed to a team being a dumpster fire. With that being said, the Los Angeles Lakers are in a world of shit right now, son. I mean, missing the playoffs was bad enough, man. However, after Magic Johnson’s sudden departure, it’s safe to say that one of the NBA’s most storied franchises is lost as fuck, fam.

Ok, for those who missed it, Johnson stepped down as the President of Basketball Operations for the Lakers. Now, this is notable for a bunch of reasons, but the manner in which he did it was wild, bruh. So, not only did Johnson leave his post, but he did it in front of the media, didn’t tell Jeanie Buss, the team’s owner, and didn’t wait until the end of the season. Furthermore, he did it with a whole bunch of tears in his eyes. Frankly, I watched this whole episode like “what the fuck is happening, son?”

Now, I already see a lot of people blaming LeBron James for this change (i.e. Michael Rapaport). All I can say is, that’s pure nonsense, man. Ok, yes, the team did miss the playoffs. But, they’ve missed the playoffs for the last six years, on top of the fact that James, Lonzo Ball and Brandon Ingram had a ton of injuries. So, I’m not ready to hang this on James’ head, fam. The truth is, Johnson wasn’t very good at his job, bruh. Like, I know he’s a legend, son. However, being a legend on the court doesn’t automatically make him a legend in the boardroom.

Shit, let’s go through some of his failures, man. First, he traded D’Angelo Russell. Now, for anyone who hasn’t been paying attention, Russell has been killing it with the Brooklyn Nets, fam. On the real, he’s turning into the player that a lot of people thought he could be. All I can say is, the Lakers never gave him a chance, bruh. Second, Johnson gambled on Anthony Davis and lost. The Lakers tried to throw the kitchen sink at the New Orleans Pelicans and they didn’t budge, son. All in all, Johnson and the Lakers were stuck with egg on their face, folks. Lastly, Johnson couldn’t get Paul George. Despite the fact that it seemed like George wanted to go to L.A., the deal never went through, people. Instead, George went on to have an MVP-level season with the Oklahoma City Thunder. Basically, Johnson botched all of the team’s moves, brethren.

In the end, good luck to the Lakers, son. Wait, what am I saying, man? I’m a Knicks fan, fam. Fuck the Lakers, bruh! Ultimately, I hope everything bad in life happens to them and only them (word to Silky Johnson). By and by, I’m thoroughly enjoying the chaos, folks. In any case, I’m sure I’ll be singing a different tune when the Knicks fail to sign Kevin Durant and/or Kyrie Irving. At the end of the day, I don’t have much faith in my team either, people. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Dear Basketball Gods, can the Knicks at least sign Zion Williamson? Please? Pretty please? Thanks a lot and have a good day.