I’m Convinced That Kawhi Leonard Isn’t A Person Person

Look, I’m going to keep this post short today, son. Frankly, I’m just here to laugh at Kawhi Leonard‘s laugh, man. I mean, a number of us have long speculated about Leonard’s personality, fam. Namely, because the guy doesn’t say shit, bruh! With all of that being said, his NBA Media Day press conference was fucking hilarious, folks! On God, I’m thoroughly convinced that Leonard is not a real human being, brethren. All I know is, that dude is either an alien or a functioning demonstration of artificial intelligence.

Ok, before I continue, I want everyone to watch this Instagram clip, son. Listen, never in the history of ever have I heard a “person” laugh like that, man. On the real, that awkward chuckle is so funny that I’m dying as I write this, fam. Like, there’s so much to take from that entire clip, bruh. First, no “fun guy” has ever described himself as a fun guy. Shit, I can’t imagine going to any social functions with a dude who’s face barely moves, folks. Hell, to that end, watch this YouTube video from his time with the San Antonio Spurs. For God’s sake, the man laughed and his face didn’t budge an inch, people! I swear, he’s a fucking robot!

In the end, I’m just here for the jokes, son. Look, whether he means to be or not, Kawhi Leonard is a hilarious fucking dude, man. Ultimately, his personality is either going to be endearing or a nightmare for the Toronto Raptors. Either way, I’m here for the shenanigans, fam. That is all. LC out.

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I Promise That LeBron James Is The G.O.A.T.

So, I’m going to keep this post short today, son. Listen, the debate is over, man. LeBron James is the greatest of all time, fam. Like, I don’t give a fuck about how people feel about him as a basketball player. All I know is, this dude used his money, power and influence to build a damn school, bruh! Frankly, that’s greater than ANYTHING he could ever achieve on the court, brethren. With that being said, James deserves ALL of our respect.

Ok, for those who have been living under a rock, James just made a MAJOR move in Akron, Ohio. Now, through his foundation, he opened up an elementary school called the I Promise School. The building was designed to hold 240 third- and fourth-grade students. Furthermore, these particular kids were “identified by Akron Public Schools as behind in critical academic areas and other factors.” Essentially, James opened a school to help the at-risk youth in his hometown. All I can say is, he’s a SUPER standup dude for making this kind of investment, son.

Now, in terms of features, the I Promise School will have A LOT to offer its students. To begin, there will be free tuition, free uniforms, free transportation within two miles, free breakfast, lunch and snacks, food pantry for families, GEDs and job placement services for parents AND guaranteed tuition to the University of Akron for every student who graduates. I mean, what the fuck, man?! This is fucking phenomenal, fam! Keeping it a buck, I REALLY want this school to work, bruh. Not because of James, but because of the children who deserve a chance to be great.

In the end, I guess not shutting up and dribbling was for the greater good. Right, Laura Ingraham? Ultimately, I don’t know how people can hate on this dude, son. By and by, basketball is just a game, man. The fact of the matter is, he’s using his position to be greater than the game, fam. At the end of the day, this move should be respected on all fronts, bruh. On the real, if anyone has anything negative to say about this, then they need to analyze why they’re so hateful. Listen to the kids, bro! That is all. LC out.

Kawhi Leonard Got Deported

So, it finally happened, huh? Kawhi Leonard finally got his wish to be done with the San Antonio Spurs. After all of last season’s tomfoolery, he’s now free of the clutches of Gregg Popovich and company. Now, in a year’s time, we’ll see if Leonard sticks with the Toronto Raptors. All I know is, DeMar DeRozan got royally fucked by a team he was loyal to.

Ok, for those who missed it, the Spurs traded Leonard and Danny Green to the Raptors for DeRozan, Jakob Poeltl and a protected first-round pick. Now, it’s no secret that Leonard wanted out of San Antonio. Hell, he already made it abundantly clear that he wasn’t going to cooperate with the Spurs. I mean, he stopped returning phone calls, he dodged meetings AND he failed to show up to any playoff games. On the real, what else could he have possibly done, son? Anybody could see that he was ducking any and everything, man.

Keeping it a buck, I feel like Leonard has acted like a bitch this entire process, fam. Look, wanting to leave is one thing, but by all accounts, he was wildly unprofessional, bruh. Since when is it cool to not report for work AND not keep in contact with management? Real talk, if any regular person tried that, we’d be on that unemployment line fast and in a hurry, son. Listen, we’re all adults here, man. If Leonard was really that unhappy with the organization, then be a grownup and tell them, brethren. Shit, he really had EVERYONE guessing what was going on in his head.

To make matters worse, there were all of these rumors that he only wanted to go to the Los Angeles Lakers. Then, after LeBron James joined the team, reports came out that he didn’t want to be “second fiddle” to James. Man, can this dude knock it the fuck off, son? So, he doesn’t want to play for the Spurs, he doesn’t want to play for the Raptors AND he doesn’t want to play with LeBron? Well, what the fuck does this dude want, fam? All I can say is, as talented as Leonard is, I don’t think he’s good enough for all of the bullshit around him, bruh.

In the end, shout-out to DeRozan, son. Ultimately, it’s a damn shame that he got caught up in Leonard’s nonsense, man. By and by, I hope he’s able to do some damage with LaMarcus Aldridge next season. In addition, I hope the Raptors are ready for the fuckery of Leonard. At the end of the day, he could easily dip after next season and Toronto could end up with nothing. Furthermore, we’ve already seen that Leonard will sit out a season, fam. Look, they better hope that giving up DeRozan, a lifelong Raptor, was worth it, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Who Calls The Cops Over A Foul?!

Nah, seriously, White people need to stop calling the fucking cops on Black folks, son. I mean, this tomfoolery is completely out of control, man! Like, law enforcement has WAY more important shit to deal with, fam. I swear, the authorities are becoming involved in dumber and dumber situations, bruh. All I know is, this basketball incident takes the fucking cake, brethren. Hell, never in a million years did I think I’d see the cops called over a foul, people. Yes, a fucking foul, folks! On the real, I’ve officially seen it all.

Ok, for those who missed it, the most ridiculous thing occurred yesterday. Now, at an LA Fitness in Sterling, Virginia, a group of dudes were playing basketball. So, one particular game got physical. In any case, a Black dude set a pick on this White guy and the White guy fell to the floor. When he got up, he proclaimed that he was going to call the police. Moving on, no one took him seriously and continued their game. That was until the cops actually showed up, son. Apparently, the authorities were told that there was a fight going on in the gym.

Look, I’ve seen and heard a lot of things in my life, man. However, this is hands down one of the most preposterous events I’ve ever come across, fam! My Lord, why the fuck do White folks call the police for EVERYTHING?! Bruh, what part of the game involves police? Seriously, on what planet does Officer So-and-So have to get in the middle of a pickup game? Real talk, some of these White people must REALLY want us all to get shot, son. Keeping it a buck, I can’t even think of any other reason why they ALWAYS feel the need to call The Boys in Blue on us.

In the end, White people need to chill with the fuckery, man. Ok, yes, I know it’s not all White folks, fam. Side note, it’s a damn shame that I have to make that distinction, bruh. In any case, these “bad apples” are always looking to criminalize us. Ultimately, setting a hard pick doesn’t make a Black man a criminal, people. By and by, the nonsense needs to stop, brethren. Like, it really needs to fucking stop. Knock it off, White people! LC out.

I Un-Retired & Then Re-Retired From Basketball

So, does anyone know what it’s like to run in slow motion? Like, no camera tricks or movie trickery? Well, that’s exactly what I was doing yesterday, son. *Sigh* Who the fuck told me that I could still play basketball, man? On the real, my entire body has committed treason and mutiny against me, fam. All I know is, two hours after I un-retired from basketball, I hung my jersey back up in the rafters, bruh. Frankly, my run is over, folks. Keeping it a buck, I just have to accept my washed-dom and move on, brethren.

Ok, let me be honest for a second, son. Now, literally EVERY injury I’ve ever had has come as a result of playing ball. Shit, I broke my left leg, tore my right knee cartilage, badly sprained both ankles AND dislocated by left pinky finger. However, my dumbass just kept on playing, man. Why? Because of an insane love of the game, fam. Hell, to put this in perspective, my love of basketball used to be neck-and-neck with my love of music, bruh. Yeah, it was THAT real, people.

Anyway, after the birth of my second child, I kinda strayed away from the game, son. Not because I lost any love, but because I just didn’t have the time, man. Moving on, in the last few weeks, I decided to get back in the game, fam. So, I laced up my kicks and hit the gym, bruh. Needless to say, my body HATES me today, brethren. Like, every time I take a step, I can hear my knees saying “what the fuck is wrong with you?!” Real talk, by the time I got home, my wife thought I got hit by a truck, folks. That’s how labored I was walking, people.

In the end, I’m legitimately in pain as I write this, son. Ultimately, the glory days are over, man. By and by, my jumper may still be good, but my basketball fitness is traaaaaaash, fam! At the end of the day, I’m going to just stick to boxing and lifting, bruh. All in all, I don’t need these type of shenanigans anymore, folks. So, RIP to my basketball career, brethren. It was great while it lasted. LC out.

My Brief Review Of J. Cole’s ‘KOD’

So, I’m going to TRY and keep today’s post short, son. I mean, at the end of the day, music is subjective, man. Frankly, I don’t believe in the idea of an album review influencing anyone’s opinion. Ok, yes, I’m well aware of the fact that this makes me sound like a complete hypocrite, fam. Shit, I’ve talked about a number of albums on this very site, bruh. But, I never said that I always make sense, folks. Anyway, let me cut the tomfoolery and give my brief review of J. Cole‘s KOD album.

Ok, I’m going to be real, son. I feel like this album is the tale of two halves. Look, in my opinion, the second half of the record is MUCH better than the first, man. The way I see it, the more meaningful songs surface towards the end of the album. Now, while songs like “KOD” and “ATM” have the right bop, the project goes up a level when “Brackets” comes on. Real talk, I feel like he properly expresses his overall message in “Brackets,” “Once an Addict,” “Friends,” “Window Pain” and “1985.”

Now, let me take a step back for a second, fam. So, for those who are unaware, Cole has a couple of visions for this album. In any case, the “KOD” acronym stands for “Kids on Drugs,” “King Overdose” and “Kill Our Demons.” As expected, the “Kids on Drugs” portion speaks about the prevalence of drug abuse in today’s youth culture. The “King Overdose” portion speaks about his own battles with addiction and escapism. Lastly, the “Kill Our Demons” portion speaks about our overall need to break free of the perils that shackle us. With all of that being said, I feel like he does a better job of touching all of those bases in the last five songs.

For example, he very eloquently depicts his mother’s struggles on “Once an Addict.” In addition, he’s able to address the general fuckery of our youth on “1985.” Side note, I think it’s amazing that clowns like Lil Pump and Smokepurpp are in their feelings about this song. Listen, Pump LITERALLY has a song called “Fuck J. Cole,” but he’s upset that he got a response? Bruh, get these little dudes the fuck from ’round me, son. In any case, Cole is able to get more thoughts across on the latter half of the album, man.

Moving on, another issue I have with the album is the production, fam. Now, Cole has never been a bad producer, bruh. However, at this point in his career, I feel like I’ve heard every type of beat he’s capable of making. Keeping it a buck, I’ve always wondered what a Cole project would sound like if he let someone else produce it. Hell, take a look at what No I.D. was able to do for Jay-Z on 4:44. Based on old interviews, Cole apparently has a great relationship with No I.D. Son, I could only imagine what an entire album would sound like if these two collaborated, man. *Sigh* I guess that’s just wishful thinking, fam. Regardless, he’s winning the way he’s doing it. So, who am I to criticize?

In the end, I think the album is just okay. I don’t think it’s wack, but I also don’t think it’s the best he can do. Ultimately, he doesn’t need to listen to any of the shit I’ve just said, bruh. I mean, he’s out here breaking streaming records on Apple Music and Spotify, son. By and by, J. Cole is prospering by being J. Cole. At the end of the day, I’m just speaking as a fan who would like to see more, man. That is all. LC out.

Why I Don’t Do NCAA Brackets

So, it finally happened, huh? A 16-seed finally beat a 1-seed, huh? I mean, based on probability, it was bound to happen eventually, son. However; I never expected a 1-seed to get blown out, man. To make matters worse, the Virginia Cavaliers weren’t just a 1-seed in the NCAA Tournament, fam. They were the number-one overall team in the country, bruh. All in all, that makes their lose to the University of Maryland, Baltimore County that much worse, folks. Keeping it a buck, this is EXACTLY why I don’t do brackets, people.

Ok, for those who are unaware, March Madness is in full swing. Frankly, if anybody doesn’t know that, I’m assuming that something is wrong with them, son. In any case, the Cavaliers were the popular pick to win this year’s title. Now, despite the fact that they’ve been hit-or-miss in the tourney over recent years, people figured that they’d finally get it together. Well, apparently, the UMBC Retrievers didn’t get the memo, man. Shit, after the dust settled, they beat the best team in the country by twenty points. On the real, after watching the game, I can’t even say it was a fluke, fam. Shit, they legitimately had a good game plan against the Cavaliers.

Moving on, this post isn’t necessarily about Virginia. It’s more so about the fact that March Madness is so chaotic, there’s no way my frugal ass could risk losing money on a bracket. Bruh, only a smaaaaaall percentage of us actually know what the fuck we’re doing, son. In spite of that, NO ONE got shit right this time around, man. All I know is, I’m not about to put my hard-earned cash on the line and leave it in the hands of underage drinkers. Hell, I know how foolish I was in college, so I already know there’s no rhyme or reason to how this tournament is going to go, fam.

In the end, my condolences to everyone who put all of their bread on Virginia. Listen, I would say my heart goes out, but my bank account is looking fine. Next time, maybe people would know better than to lose their savings on a hectic brand of basketball. Ultimately, college ball is the least predictable shit on the planet, bruh. By and by, don’t let the brokeness prevail. LC out.