Tristan Thompson Is A Jedi-Level Savage

So, when it comes to infidelity, I believe there are two kinds of people in the world: people who have cheated and straight cheaters. Now, the “people who have cheated” are folks who’ve made a terrible mistake and legitimately wish to make amends. A “straight cheater” is someone who can’t pass up an outside smash session. With that being said, Tristan Thompson may very well be the latter, son. All in all, if he really tapped Jordyn Woods, then he’s the Supreme Ruler of the Ain’t Shit Coalition, man.

Ok, for those who don’t know or don’t care, Thompson is back in the news, fam. Shit, for a dude who plays in the NBA, none of his stories are ever basketball-related, bruh. In any case, after previously being accused of cheating on Khloe Kardashian, it appears that ol’ buddy has done it again, son. However, the stakes are much higher this time, man. So, according to the rumors, Thompson allegedly put the full-court press on Woods’ ass. Now, this is notable because Woods is (was?) Kylie Jenner’s best friend. Essentially, Thompson might’ve smashed the ultimate homie, folks. Needless to say, this ain’t a good look for him, brethren.

Now, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I have all of the details, son. I mean, I wasn’t about to do a ton of research on this subject, man. All I know is, if a guy is trying to work his way out of the doghouse, banging his lady’s sister’s homegirl is not the wave, fam. For God’s sake, just admire her ass is silence, bruh! Hell, if he was a real goon, he could’ve hit Khloe with the following Kanye West lyrics: “I mean you, her and me, maybe, baby, baby, you know I was just kidding, unless you gon’ do it.” Like, the three-three could’ve worked, people!

In the end, who knows, son? Ultimately, all of this could just be publicity for Keeping Up with the Kardashians. By and by, I wouldn’t put any of the tomfoolery past them, man. At the end of the day, Thompson should’ve just kept it tight, fam. Then again, looking at Woods, I can see why he did it, bruh. Side note, don’t tell my wife that I said that, brethren. Thanks! LC out.

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I Don’t Know If I Believe This Dwight Howard Story

Now, let me begin this post by saying that I don’t care if Dwight Howard is gay or not. I don’t care if he’s bisexual or if he gets down with transgender women. All I know is, I don’t want that dude on my basketball team. In any case, Howard’s name is being dragged through the mud because of a story by Masin Elijè. Apparently, according to Elijè, Howard is his ex-boyfriend. Furthermore, Elijè took it upon himself to “out” Howard due to alleged threats of violence. With all of that being said, I have some real doubts about Elijè’s story, son.

Ok, for those who missed it, Elijè is claiming that he had a relationship with Howard. Now, based on his story, their situation ended because of Howard’s infidelity and possible attraction to transgender women. From there, I’ve read some other shit about sex parties and allegations that Howard’s pastor threatened Elijè’s life. The word is, all of this has transpired because he wouldn’t sign an NDA about his time with Howard. Look, all of this could very well be true, man. But, based on the person telling the story, I might have to call shenanigans, fam.

Listen, Elijè is no stranger to the bullshit, bruh. Just last year, both Elijè and Rubi Rose tried to run the same scam on Playboi Carti. After Rose and Carti broke up, she alleged that Carti was messing around with Elijè. Anyway, Elijè tried to put out some DM’s to corroborate the story and most people believe they were fabricated. Fast forward to now and her DM’s with Howard also look shaky. For one, Elijè’s responses are missing the normal text bubbles that appear in Instagram conversations. So, they appear to be doctored as hell, son. All I can say is, we don’t believe Elijè, he needs more people.

In the end, who cares if Howard is gay, man. Ultimately, that ain’t any of our business, fam. Frankly, all we need to know is that he’s a trash NBA player. Ok, yeah, he was dominant at one point in time, but that time is long gone, bruh. By and by, some of the “hurt butt” jokes are funny, but falsely outing someone is bullshit, son. Hell, even legitimately outing someone is bullshit, folks. At the end of the day, that’s not another person’s call to make. The way I see it, Elijè better be telling the truth, people. If not, I hope Howard sues him for erythang. Not “everything,” but erythang. That is all. LC out.

Go Listen To ‘The Receding Hairlines Podcast’

So, I’m going to keep this super short today, son. All folks need to know is, my dude Fabo has a podcast, man. That’s right, fam, alongside Sarge and Hutch, they collectively host The Receding Hairlines Podcast. Side note, I’ve been making fun of Fabo’s hairline for damn near 20 years. With that being said, I get a MAJOR kick out of the name of this podcast, bruh. Another side note, as a bald dude, I’m a huge hypocrite for making fun of anyone’s hairline. In any case, the podcast has a lot of sports debate, with a variety of real-life shenanigans thrown in for good measure. All in all, everybody needs to do the right thing and ride the wave. Anyway, the podcast can be found on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher or anywhere else people listen to podcasts. Now, what else is there to say, brethren? Go listen to the cotdamn podcast! That is all. LC out.

Long Live Derrick Rose!

So, I’m going to be real, son. I may or may not have had an emotional reaction to Derrick Rose‘s performance last night. I mean, after everything that dude has been through, how could anyone not appreciate his game, man? Shit, after all of the injuries and all of the setbacks, Rose had a career night, fam. All in all, everybody needs to give him a standing ovation for never quitting and never falling victim to his past.

Ok, at this point, sports fans should be familiar with Rose’s story. Hell, he went from the Rookie of the Year and the youngest Most Valuable Player to the oft-injured/former franchise guy. Frankly, after a torn ACL and three meniscus injuries, nobody, including me, gave him much of a chance, bruh. Regardless of that, Rose kept working, son. Despite being traded a bunch of times and looking like a shell of himself, Rose kept the faith, man. With all of that being said, as part of the Minnesota Timberwolves, the stars finally started to align for him, fam.

Now, for anybody who missed it, Rose went OFF last night. While playing against the Utah Jazz, Rose scored a career-high 50 points while shooting 19/31 from the field and 4/7 from three-point range. On top of that, he made a game-saving block to stop the Jazz from tying the contest in the final moments. Like, could Hollywood even write a better story, bruh? Fuck no! Hell, Rose remained humble though all of his issues and just kept it pushing, man. All I know is, he deserves all of the praise he’s getting right now.

In the end, I hope this is the beginning of a new chapter for Rose, fam. Ultimately, I don’t expect him to drop 50 every night. But, I hope he can be consistent and reclaim even a fraction of his former glory, bruh. By and by, who doesn’t love a good redemption tale, son? On the real, I know I do, man. At the end of the day, long live Derrick Rose! That is all. LC out.

Kobe Bryant Still Didn’t Flinch

So, let me begin this post by saying that I’m not a Kobe Bryant fan. As a lifelong supporter/victim of the New York Knicks organization, I am forbidden to praise anything that he does, son. Regardless of that fact, I still have the ability to be objective, man. With that being said, Kobe Bryant still didn’t flinch in front of Matt Barnes, fam. All I know is, these new camera angles ain’t prove shit, bruh. It is what it is and it was what it was.

Ok, for those who are unaware, it’s been a longstanding legend that Kobe didn’t flinch when Barnes pump-faked the basketball in front of his face. Originally, based on the initial camera angle, it looked like Barnes did this millimeters away from Kobe. In any case, this incident has been used by Kobe fans to assert his thuggery, son. Side note, where was all that moxie when Chris Childs hit Kobe with the two-piece/no biscuit? I thought so. Anyway, as of yesterday, a new vantage point came out that challenged our view of the situation. Apparently, Kobe wasn’t standing directly in front of Barnes. In fact, he was slightly off to Barnes’ right side.

Now, I don’t need a reason to hate on Kobe, man. But, really, fam? Really? Did this new angle actually debunk the entire story? No, bruh. No it didn’t. Look, even with Kobe off to the side, Barnes still placed the ball inches away from his face. Real talk, the move was still close enough to get a reaction out of Kobe, son. The fact of the matter is, Kobe didn’t bite, folks. He still looked at Barnes like a peon who wasn’t worthy to be rocking an NBA jersey. All in all, I still see the video the same way, brethren.

In the end, let’s find other reasons to hate on Kobe, son. Shit, let’s hate on him for his four airballs against the Utah Jazz. Let’s hate on him for snitching on Shaquille O’Neal. Hell, let’s hate on him for taking 50 shots to score 60 points in his final game. However, we can’t take this from him, man. At the end of the day, he didn’t flinch, bruh. That is all. LC out.

I’m Convinced That Kawhi Leonard Isn’t A Person Person

Look, I’m going to keep this post short today, son. Frankly, I’m just here to laugh at Kawhi Leonard‘s laugh, man. I mean, a number of us have long speculated about Leonard’s personality, fam. Namely, because the guy doesn’t say shit, bruh! With all of that being said, his NBA Media Day press conference was fucking hilarious, folks! On God, I’m thoroughly convinced that Leonard is not a real human being, brethren. All I know is, that dude is either an alien or a functioning demonstration of artificial intelligence.

Ok, before I continue, I want everyone to watch this Instagram clip, son. Listen, never in the history of ever have I heard a “person” laugh like that, man. On the real, that awkward chuckle is so funny that I’m dying as I write this, fam. Like, there’s so much to take from that entire clip, bruh. First, no “fun guy” has ever described himself as a fun guy. Shit, I can’t imagine going to any social functions with a dude who’s face barely moves, folks. Hell, to that end, watch this YouTube video from his time with the San Antonio Spurs. For God’s sake, the man laughed and his face didn’t budge an inch, people! I swear, he’s a fucking robot!

In the end, I’m just here for the jokes, son. Look, whether he means to be or not, Kawhi Leonard is a hilarious fucking dude, man. Ultimately, his personality is either going to be endearing or a nightmare for the Toronto Raptors. Either way, I’m here for the shenanigans, fam. That is all. LC out.

I Promise That LeBron James Is The G.O.A.T.

So, I’m going to keep this post short today, son. Listen, the debate is over, man. LeBron James is the greatest of all time, fam. Like, I don’t give a fuck about how people feel about him as a basketball player. All I know is, this dude used his money, power and influence to build a damn school, bruh! Frankly, that’s greater than ANYTHING he could ever achieve on the court, brethren. With that being said, James deserves ALL of our respect.

Ok, for those who have been living under a rock, James just made a MAJOR move in Akron, Ohio. Now, through his foundation, he opened up an elementary school called the I Promise School. The building was designed to hold 240 third- and fourth-grade students. Furthermore, these particular kids were “identified by Akron Public Schools as behind in critical academic areas and other factors.” Essentially, James opened a school to help the at-risk youth in his hometown. All I can say is, he’s a SUPER standup dude for making this kind of investment, son.

Now, in terms of features, the I Promise School will have A LOT to offer its students. To begin, there will be free tuition, free uniforms, free transportation within two miles, free breakfast, lunch and snacks, food pantry for families, GEDs and job placement services for parents AND guaranteed tuition to the University of Akron for every student who graduates. I mean, what the fuck, man?! This is fucking phenomenal, fam! Keeping it a buck, I REALLY want this school to work, bruh. Not because of James, but because of the children who deserve a chance to be great.

In the end, I guess not shutting up and dribbling was for the greater good. Right, Laura Ingraham? Ultimately, I don’t know how people can hate on this dude, son. By and by, basketball is just a game, man. The fact of the matter is, he’s using his position to be greater than the game, fam. At the end of the day, this move should be respected on all fronts, bruh. On the real, if anyone has anything negative to say about this, then they need to analyze why they’re so hateful. Listen to the kids, bro! That is all. LC out.