Whose Mans Is Chet Hanks?

So, before I even begin this post, I’d like to give everyone some background on my upbringing. Now, I’m a first-generation American whose mother was born in Barbados and whose father was born in St. Vincent. Furthermore, I have extended family members from Jamaica, Trinidad, Grenada, Antigua, you name it. In addition, I’m married to a woman whose entire family is from Nevis. Meaning, I’m as Caribbean as they come, son. With all of that being said, what in the entire fuck was Chet Hanks doing at the Golden Globes, fam?

Ok, for those who missed it, Chet’s father, the incomparable Tom Hanks, was being presented a lifetime achievement award at this year’s Golden Globes. Needless to say, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Chet was there. However, his appearance on the red carpet was thoroughly baffling, man. I mean, out of fucking nowhere, dude decided to talk to the press in a patois accent straight out of the 99 Cent Store. Bruh, what “island massive” was Chet referring to? The fucking bar staff at a Sandals resort? For the love of God, why is Chet always doing some fuckity-fuck shit, son?

To be clear, this is not the first time that Chet has engaged in nonsensical shenanigans. Shit, just a few years ago, he was a rapper who looooved saying the word “nigga.” Now, all of a sudden, he’s the new fucking Collie Buddz? Side note, that ain’t a knock against Collie Buddz, man. On the real, I’m a big fan of that dude, folks. In any case, this culture vulture shit needs to stop, fam. Hell, he’s the son of a cotdamn legend, people. Real talk, he doesn’t have to always partake in the fuckery, brethren.

In the end, I have nothing else to say, bruh. Ultimately, I want everyone to watch the video for themselves. By and by, after getting past the fact that the video is hilarious, we need to pack Chet Hanks in a box somewhere. At the end of the day, he’s a habitual line-stepper who has to be defeated, son. At this point, I’m pretty sure that Tom would rather rock out with Wilson than Chet, man. That is all. LC out.

Thick Rihanna Is The GOAT!

Disclaimer: This post is an unabashed Rihanna love fest. Haters will be handled with swift and vengeful justice.

So, let me keep it a buck, son. I was in love with the Rihanna in the first picture. I was in love with the Rihanna in the second picture. I was also in love with the Rihanna in the third picture. However; the Rihanna in that fourth picture can’t be measured by Earthly science or mathematics, man. I mean, Thick Rihanna is the greatest all of time, fam. Hands down. Frankly, I don’t want to hear any debates, people. Let’s just all praise whatever food Ms. Fenty has been eating, bruh.

Now, for those who missed it, BarbadosCrop Over festival just went down. As a man who’s half Bajan and half Vincentian, this festival means a lot to my culture. With that being said, Rihanna, a born and bred Bajan, has always frequented the celebration. Meaning, she’s always been decked out in the finest of costumes. However; the way she looked this year made me make the Carmelo Anthony risk it all” face, son. Like, her newfound thickness is a sight for sore eyes, man. Shit, she almost made me forget that the American government is in shambles, fam.

To be fair, the internet has been talking about Rih Rih’s weight gain for a little while now. On the real, social media has debated whether she’s fine, fat or something in between. All I know is, fuck anybody who doesn’t appreciate what Robyn is blessing us with, son! Look, even Chris Brown rose up from the abyss to start liking pictures, man. Listen, the curves are just undeniable, folks. All in all, I can’t critique anything she’s doing, bruh.

In the end, there’s nothing else to be said, son. Let’s just all do a praise dance in honor of Thick Rihanna. Lastly, to the rest of my congregation, feel free to enjoy the pictures below. Thanks a lot, Baby JesusLC out.