What Is The Point Of The Electoral College?

To begin, I know exactly what the point of the Electoral College is. However; as this recent election, along with the 2000 George W. BushAl Gore race, has shown us, this system is fucking bullshit, man! As it currently stands, Hillary Clinton has amassed 62.8 million votes across the country. In comparison, Donald Trump has pulled in 61.5 million total votes. Now, despite securing well over a million more votes than Trump, Clinton somehow lost the election by 74 projected electoral votes (306 to 232). Based on this result, on December 19th, the actual Electoral College is supposed to vote and confirm Trump’s presidency. So, let me get this straight, son. This woman could literally have a million MORE people on her side and still get trounced in the race? If that ain’t a sign that the Electoral College needs to go, we all must be wrong about simple mathematics, man.

Now, for those who don’t understand the Electoral College, I’ll try to give a little bit of background. I’m not going to go balls deep into the issue, but I’d like to give some insight on its purpose. So, the idea is, the Senate, the House of Representatives and three additional electors from Washington, D.C. vote for who will ultimately become the President and the Vice President. The way this vote works, all states, except for Maine and Nebraska, vote in a “winner-take-all” manner. Meaning, if a candidate has the most general election votes in a particular state, the electors from that state give all of their votes to that candidate. In addition, the number of electors per state depends on the population of that state. This is why states like New York, California, Florida and Texas have a shit-ton of electors.

With all of that being said, this system is fucking broken, son! First, the founding fathers put this system in place because they did NOT want the popular vote to choose the president. That’s a major red flag, man. Way to circumvent the will of the people, douchebags! Second, this system gives way too much power to “swing states.” Every four years, we can basically guess how most of the country will behave. California will most likely be a blue state, while Texas will most likely be a red state. Meaning, places like fucking Ohio and Iowa ultimately have the upper hand on who will win the election. Look, son, maybe it’s just me, but a couple of random states shouldn’t have that much fucking influence. If the overall country is leaning towards a particular candidate, why should we all have to suffer because a few states in the Midwest decided to do some fuck shit? It doesn’t make any sense, man! More Americans wanted Clinton as our president, bro. I don’t give a flying fuck about what people in Michigan are thinking. These swing states ruined it for all of us, son!

Ultimately, I could keep going with my Electoral College hate fest. However; I should probably get back to work. I need to make sure I acquire as much funds as possible, son. I damn sure ain’t gonna be broke during the revolution, bro. All I know is, Donald Trump ain’t my president, man. Tell his supporters to come and get me. Good day.

P.S. It’s funny, as in not funny, how Trump now praises the Electoral College after calling it a disaster back in 2012. I guess it’s only “genius” when it benefits him instead of a Black man. That is all.

No, This Isn’t Politics As Usual

So, this is another one of those posts where I need to talk to my fellow Black people. Frankly, I’m seeing a disturbing trend among some members of my community. The idea that the election of Donald Trump is just “politics as usual” is not only flippantly dismissive, but also very inaccurate. While bigotry of all forms has always been embedded in the fabric of our country, never before has someone so OPENLY embraced EVERY kind of hatred and actually made it to the most powerful seat in the world.

Now, at this point, I’m not going to run down every despicable thing Trump has ever said and done. I mean, I’ve already covered enough of that on this blog. However; I do want to reiterate a couple of key items. When we look at Trump, we’re looking at man who’s bragged about sexual assault, called the majority of Hispanics rapists and criminals, called more for “law and order” in response to the police killings of unarmed Black people, berated a Gold Star family, mocked a disabled reporter, asked to use nuclear weapons more than once and proposed a ban on Muslims. Please note, all of that happened within the last 18 months alone, son.

Keeping it all of the way real, that last paragraph doesn’t even include his history of demanding the execution of the Central Park Five in 1989, failing to pay federal taxes since I was in elementary school and fishing to discredit President Obama‘s citizenship for half a decade. Now, in case that’s not scary enough, this same man is now in control of Congress and the Supreme Court. So, no, this isn’t just politics as usual, man. This country was built on prejudice, but Trump’s lack of decorum and INCREDIBLE lack of basic intelligence is unprecedented, son.

Honestly, I could probably handle a bigot, son. However; a bigot who’s completely unaware of how his job actually works is fucking frightening, man. Anyone who doesn’t understand that is truly disconnected from what’s happening in this country. Yeah, there have been openly racist candidates before, like George Wallace and Barry Goldwater, but neither one of those clowns actually made it to the White House, man. Stop the shenanigans, son.

Ultimately, I don’t want to hear shit from anyone who doesn’t vote or participate in our political landscape. As I’ve stated before, even if people don’t completely see the value of presidential elections, if those same folks aren’t involved in down ballot or local elections, they are part of the fucking problem. Here’s an example: in New York City, our major chooses the police commissioner. The commissioner then, in turn, governs how the police department will engage with the community. I don’t want to hear anyone complain about changing the laws and punishments surrounding police brutality if they have no voting influence on the people who enact those policies. Enough of the fucking excuses, man! Let’s get to work! Good day.

P.S. Trump’s election has already caused White people to pretend like it’s the 1960s all over again. Just take a look at a couple of the racially-motivated attacks that have occurred since Tuesday. Look, I’ve said it before, man. Bigots can run up on me if they want to, but they’re going to catch this fade, son. My hand speed is impeccable, bro. I ain’t nonviolent. That is all.

I Believe In Michael Moore

Ok, ok, ok, I know what people are thinking. In yesterday’s post, I definitely said I wasn’t writing anything for the rest of the week. I lied, son. I know that’s something Donald Trump is extremely used to. If anyone feels a way about my fib, sue me. I also know that’s something Trump is intimately used to. In any case, I’d like to officially thank Michael Moore for rejuvenating me, man. After reading his “Morning After To-Do List,” I’m definitely ready to tackle the impending shenanigans and do my part to make this country what it truly needs to be.

Now, before I continue, I want everyone to actually read what Moore said. It might be a little lengthy, but it’s well worth it, son. So, here we go:

Morning After To-Do List:

1. Take over the Democratic Party and return it to the people. They have failed us miserably.

2. Fire all pundits, predictors, pollsters and anyone else in the media who had a narrative they wouldn’t let go of and refused to listen to or acknowledge what was really going on. Those same bloviators will now tell us we must “heal the divide” and “come together.” They will pull more hooey like that out of their ass in the days to come. Turn them off.

3. Any Democratic member of Congress who didn’t wake up this morning ready to fight, resist and obstruct in the way Republicans did against President Obama every day for eight full years must step out of the way and let those of us who know the score lead the way in stopping the meanness and the madness that’s about to begin.

4. Everyone must stop saying they are “stunned” and “shocked.” What you mean to say is that you were in a bubble and weren’t paying attention to your fellow Americans and their despair. YEARS of being neglected by both parties, the anger and the need for revenge against the system only grew. Along came a TV star they liked whose plan was to destroy both parties and tell them all “You’re fired!” Trump’s victory is no surprise. He was never a joke. Treating him as one only strengthened him. He is both a creature and a creation of the media and the media will never own that.

5. You must say this sentence to everyone you meet today: “HILLARY CLINTON WON THE POPULAR VOTE!” The MAJORITY of our fellow Americans preferred Hillary Clinton over Donald Trump. Period. Fact. If you woke up this morning thinking you live in an effed-up country, you don’t. The majority of your fellow Americans wanted Hillary, not Trump. The only reason he’s president is because of an arcane, insane 18th-century idea called the Electoral College. Until we change that, we’ll continue to have presidents we didn’t elect and didn’t want. You live in a country where a majority of its citizens have said they believe there’s climate change, they believe women should be paid the same as men, they want a debt-free college education, they don’t want us invading countries, they want a raise in the minimum wage and they want a single-payer true universal health care system. None of that has changed. We live in a country where the majority agree with the “liberal” position. We just lack the liberal leadership to make that happen (see: #1 above). Let’s try to get this all done by noon today. — Michael Moore

Moving on, I won’t lie as if I wasn’t fired up after reading that. The time is NOW to make major changes in the political landscape. No more can candidates from any of our parties just make empty promises with no returns. In addition, the elected officials who are already on the inside need to be held accountable for EVERYTHING they do. Voting is not where our participation ends, it’s only the beginning, man. If these politicians don’t want to put the will of the people first, then they need to get the fuck out of the way! Finally, the Electoral College needs to go, son. Once again, this old fashioned establishment royally screwed the people. Despite receiving the most overall votes, Clinton got trounced in the Electoral College, and now our president is basically the living embodiment of Lex Luthor. With that being said, we all need to be Superman, son.

In the end, I’m charged up, man! Going forward, everyone who reads this blog needs to know my writing won’t be dumbed down. I’m going for the jugular on every issue that matters, son. For those who are with it, let’s get the proceedings proceeding. For those who aren’t, sign off now! The movement doesn’t need those type of people. Good day!

P.S. I definitely see all of the protests happening around the country, man. I just have one question: did all of those protestors vote? If they didn’t, I need them to take their dumbasses back in the house. We had a chance to keep this lunatic out of the Oval Office and we failed to do our job. I’m happy to see the spirit of the people, but more of us should’ve exercised our right to vote. Six million LESS people voted for Clinton than voted for Obama four years ago. That shit made a HUGE difference, son! As of right now, we need to hold Trump’s feet to the fire and ensure he doesn’t send this country off the rails. Let’s go!

P.P.S. I’m starting to see White people get aggy in my various comments sections on social media. Look, folks better keep it cute and not try any shit in person. All I know is, Trump can’t save them from catching these hands, son. That is all.

Go Home, Congress, You’re Drunk

Did anyone know President Obama was responsible for the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster? Did anyone know he was responsible for the Watergate scandal? Wait, did anyone know Obama was chiefly responsible for the Great Depression in the 1930s? Well, if we all listened to the idiots in Congress, they’d probably try to convince us of all of those things. Look, just ONE day after overriding Obama’s veto of the controversial 9/11 law, Congress has suddenly had a change of heart. Now, instead of just admitting to their foolish errors, they still found a way to blame Obama for their own ineptitude. It’s so baffling to watch, son.

To start off, the 9/11 bill is a law that allows families to sue Saudi Arabia for their involvement in the World Trade Center attacks. Now, in theory, this sounds fantastic. However; there are certain complications that could potentially arise from a move like this. Namely, this could put the United States and our soldiers at risk for the same type of lawsuits. In case anyone forgot, America has a LONG history of fucking shit up in other people’s countries. So, if we start suing other nations for attacks, we could potentially be on the hook for the same tactic. Both Obama AND CIA Director John Brennan expressed these concerns.

With all of that being said, Congress heard these objections, said “fuck that” and hit Obama’s veto with the override. The Senate, for example, was so sure of itself, the vote was 97 to 1. 97 to fucking 1, man. That’s like the worst college football score ever, son. No type of “mercy rule,” bro. From there, the House followed in the tomfoolery and also passed the bill. Now, all of a sudden, Congress wants to change parts of the bill to protect our troops and blames Obama for not explaining the possible consequences. Are these people fucking kidding me, man? I swear, Republicans have made it their life’s mission to just disregard anything Obama says or does. Now, they got caught with their asses in the air and they still tried to pin it on him.

Regardless of what anyone else tries to say, it’s not his fault the Republican-led Congress didn’t think this one through. Shit, Mitch McConnell literally said “nobody focused on the potential downside in terms of our international relationships.” How on Earth is that an Obama issue? Look, if my mother told me not to touch the stove, I can’t then blame her for a burnt hand if I did it anyway. Honestly, if I tried that, I’d probably get backhanded in the mouth, man. Get these clowns the fuck out of here, son.

In the end, Congress must’ve really taken a lot of cues from Brexit. Apparently, it’s good form to overwhelmingly vote on something without doing proper research. Look, I’m no Obama apologist, but Congress blaming him for failing to do their job is ridiculous. Maybe, if they didn’t have such a hard-on for fighting him at every turn, then they would’ve made the right decision. Then again, maybe not, son. We have an ABUNDANT amount of idiots in our government. Good day.

LC’s Review Of Last Night’s Debate F*ckery

Man, my head hurts, bro. Like, I’m fairly positive my brain cells are on fire right now. What the hell did I watch last night, son? Did a presidential debate actually occur or did we all watch the premiere of a new VH1 reality show? All I know is, during the course of last night’s shenanigans between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, I hugged my sons because this truly might be the end of days. With that being said, I’ve decided to reluctantly give everyone my review of last night’s debate, bullet point style.

1. Lester Holt Got Treated Like A Punk Bitch: Bruh, how bad of a moderator was Lester Holt? Look, I’ll always support the Black man when it comes to Dateline or the Nightly News. However; he needs to never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever moderate another debate. He never had control of the situation, son. Both candidates, ESPECIALLY Trump, frequently went over time, Holt never stopped Trump during the copious amount of times he interrupted Clinton AND Trump even interrupted him. At one point, Trump literally told Holt to wait while he rebutted a comment Clinton made. All I can say is, Holt definitely came out of this with his lip busted and reputation mangled.

2. Trump Would’ve Interrupted God Himself: Look, this dude Donald Trump has no couth whatsoever. While I’ve already mentioned the number of times he interrupted Holt, the real victim here was Clinton. During the first 26 minutes of the debate alone, Trump interrupted Clinton 25 times. 25 fucking times, man! Now, I’m no brain surgeon, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how a debate works. What the hell is the point of time limits if Trump is just going to talk whenever he feels like it? By the way, I hope Trump understands, simply blurting out words like “lies” doesn’t actually disprove any of the points Clinton made. For example, he claimed she lied about him saying global warming was an invention of the Chinese, but lo and behold, the internet found his tweet from 2012 saying exactly that. Foolishness, I say.

3. Trump’s Views On Race Relations Are Frightening: In regards to this bullet point, all I have to say is Stop and Frisk. When asked about how he would improve race relations in this country, Trump mentioned the need for more “law and order” in minority communities. Taking it a step further, he then suggested instating Stop and Frisk across the nation. Here’s the problem, though: A DISTRICT COURT JUDGE DEEMED THE PRACTICE UNCONSTITUTIONAL! A number of studies showed the method was racially biased toward stopping Black and Hispanic people. Speaking as someone who’s been stopped more than once due to this bullshit tactic, I can attest to the fact it’s highly prejudicial to minorities. Someone, please get this man the fuck out of here.

4. Trump Admitted Some Terrible Things About Himself: Now, for just one moment, let’s talk about taxes and the housing market. First, Clinton brought up the fact Trump hadn’t paid federal taxes during certain periods of time. Instead of denying it, he said it’s because he was “smart.” Next, Clinton stated that Trump was in favor of the 2008 housing market crash since it gave him the opportunity to buy more property. In response to that, Trump called it “good business.” So, let me get this straight, son. The man running for president doesn’t pay the IRS AND was in favor of the crash that contributed to the worst depression since the 1930s? IS ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS SHIT?! I didn’t even mention the fact he basically admitted he doesn’t properly pay his own employees. Son, seriously, what the fuck is going on around here? How is Donald fucking Trump the Republican nominee for president? What the hell is wrong with the GOP?!

5. Trump Is Absolutely Allergic To Facts: In regards to the “birther movement” he spearheaded, Trump said he let the issue go when President Obama released his birth certificate in 2011. However; he was STILL talking about whether or not Obama was born in this country as of THIS YEAR! When Holt brought this fact up, Trump flat out refused to answer the question. Instead, he claimed credit for making Obama prove he was an American. Next, he blamed Obama and Clinton for the “power vacuum” that created ISIS, ignoring the fact that the agreement that removed the troops from Iraq was signed by George W. Bush. Hell, I already wrote about this in a previous post. Lastly, I literally heard this dude say he’s never “given much thought” to NATO. How in God’s name can Trump run this country when he’s not even familiar with our allies, man? His campaign is mind-bogglingly stupid and I have a really heard time figuring out how we got here as a nation.

Ok, I think that about does it for me today. Look, I’m still no huge fan of Clinton, but good Lord, Donald Trump is a maniac, son. For the life of me, I CANNOT understand how the polls are so close. If anyone needs proof the general public is idiotic, just examine the people who support this man. The sad part is, regardless of what happened last night, Trump’s base will probably never leave him. With that being said, I can’t stress enough how important it is to vote. Otherwise, everyone needs to start preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse. Armageddon is about to reach America really soon, son. Good day, I think.

Fun Fact: Barack Obama Invented Racism

Ok, can I ask everyone out there a question? With all of the racial tension currently bubbling in America, is it bad that Kathy Miller‘s ABSURD comments were just the laugh I needed? I mean, I’ve heard some preposterous statements in my lifetime, but Miller has reached a Jedi Grand Master level of stupid. But hey, what can I expect from a staunch supporter of Donald Trump?

Now, we do I begin? Ok, so, Kathy Miller was Trump’s campaign chair for Mahoning County in Ohio. I used the word “was” because after the barrel of fuckery she uttered during an interview with The Guardian, she promptly stepped down. In any case, what made this interview highly entertaining is the fact she believes racism didn’t exist until Barack Obama became president. In addition, she commented that she never experienced segregation and never saw the civil rights movement “as anything.” To top it all off, she claimed that Black people have always had the same opportunities as White people. For example, she referenced our “access” to the same schools as everyone else. Look, I could keep going, but it’s time to start tearing this truffle butter stain to shreds.

First, I find it incredibly odd that she stressed if Black people haven’t risen up in the last 50 years, then it’s our fault. Why 50 years, Kathy? Ohhhh, maybe that’s because we only got the right to vote about 50 years ago! Why didn’t we have the right to vote before that, Kathy? Institutional bigotry, dumbass! Racial discrimination in the voting process only became illegal in 1965. 19-motherfucking-65, man! My mother was a legit fourteen years old when this occurred. That’s how short of a time period we’re talking about, son.

Moving on, how can she claim we always had access to the same schools when SEGREGATION EXISTED?! Oh, wait, I forgot, she never experienced that. So, since some random White woman never came face-to-face with what was happening in damn near every American neighborhood, segregation must not have been real. Look, our inability to get accepted into predominantly White colleges was a fundamental reason for why HBCUwere created in the first place. Funny thing is, these same schools always allowed access to students of all races. Can these historically White institutions make that same claim? Absolutely not, son.

Lastly, I’m not even going to comment on her views about the civil rights movement. I mean, my day off from work on Martin Luther King Jr. Day is all of the proof I need, son. That man literally took a bullet for Black people, yet this woman denies the movement was even real. *Sigh* Idiocy knows no bounds, son. It honestly, truly, knows no bounds.

In the end, all I can say is, these type of people really walk the streets, man. Like, Kathy Miller is an actual human being. She isn’t someone we made up. She really breathes air and drinks water, son. With that being said, it’s mind-boggling that there are people out there who are this stupid. Shit, not only stupid, but actually in charge of organizations. Man, I wouldn’t even let this woman work the deep fryer at Kentucky Fried Chicken. Once again, this is the kind of tomfoolery Trump inspires. Need I say more? Good day.

The Revisionist History Of Barack Obama

Ok, look, I’m well aware of the fact everyone doesn’t agree with each other when it comes to ideology. However; there’s a HUGE difference between disagreeing with someone and flat out lying about them. Now, regardless of how anyone feels about President Barack Obama, it’s clear as day that individuals like Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani and Katrina Pierson are essentially spreading falsehoods about the president and his record. With that being said, let’s take this time to relentlessly roast these clowns.

First, let’s talk about Donald Trump, the man we all know and love. Even though he’s already tried to backtrack from his comments, this past Friday, Trump entered yet another absurd statement into the zeitgeist. During one of his campaign speeches, Trump came right out and claimed Obama was the founder of ISIS. While he tried to chalk his foolishness up to “sarcasm,” other GOP pundits attempted to lay the blame on a supposed “power vacuum” created due to Obama removing the troops from Iraq. Either way, both factions are ridiculously wrong. On one hand, I’m about tired of a presidential nominee consistently making “sarcastic” remarks. This dude is running to be the leader of the free world and all he wants to do is make fucking jokes. At this point, I can name more lame wisecracks he’s made than actual policies he suggested. Now, for the individuals who think Obama created a power vacuum in Iraq, I’d like those dummies to look up the U.S.-Iraq Status of Forces Agreement. This agreement was signed by George W. Bush in 2008 and stated that America would remove combat forces from Iraqi cities by June 30, 2009 and be completely out of Iraq by December 31, 2011. So, if Republicans want to blame anybody for the fuckery happening in the Middle East, blame GW. He’s the one who actually created the aforementioned power vacuum.

Next, let’s address my former mayor, Rudy Giuliani. During a speech on Monday, Giuliani claimed there weren’t “any successful radical Islamic terrorist [attacks] in the United States” during the eight years preceding Obama’s tenure. Son, that is literally the DUMBEST thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Honestly, how can this clown forget that 9/11 happened while Bush was in office? Giuliani has built his entire mythology around the false idea he was some sort of hero after the attack on the World Trade Center. However; he conveniently forgot this fact while berating Obama. This man is such a clown, son. People like him want to believe their narrative so much, they will completely ignore basic facts in order to make a point. Look, will the media stop giving this fool a microphone? Please?

Finally, I need to acknowledge the consistent tomfoolery that comes out of Katrina Pierson‘s mouth. To be honest, I have no idea what her purpose in life is, but she’s always on someone’s news network, defying common logic with her stupidity. While I don’t have time to comment on EVERY ridiculous statement she’s made, I would like to talk about her memory of the war in Afghanistan. During an appearance on CNN, she insisted President Obama was responsible for invading the country. She even went so far as to call the conflict “Obama’s war.” Here’s the thing: the war in Afghanistan began in 2001, a good eight years before Obama even made it to the Oval Office. Once again, this was yet another incident that occurred under GW’s watch. Seriously, do Republicans forget Bush was in office for eight years too? Do they not remember any of the actions he took? Look, I just want to remind everyone out there, people like her are the ones supporting Trump. In my eyes, that should tell folks everything they need to know about his candidacy.

In the end, if someone out there wants to criticize another person, at least have the decency to be factual in the attacks being made. At the bare minimum, let the hate be grounded in something that can survive being fact-checked. Otherwise, shut the fuckidy-fuck up and get off of our television screens. Good day.