Disclaimer: I got my wife’s permission before I wrote this, son. That way, she won’t kill me.
So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I’ve been plotting on writing this post for almost a year. Frankly, after the devastation that my wife and I endured back in 2019, I needed to get this topic out of my head. However, due to either paranoia or superstition, I decided to wait until after the birth of my daughter to broach this subject. With all of that being said, as a collective, we need to talk a lot more about miscarriages. Real talk, they occur at alarming rates but we all keep our pain close to the vest.
Ok, for those who are unaware, my wife and I lost a child last year. Now, at the beginning of the summer, we found out that she was pregnant with our third child. In any case, since her previous pregnancies couldn’t have gone smoother, we had no thought about any potential complications. Regardless, the day after my 34th birthday, at 11 weeks, we lost the baby. Needless to say, we were heartbroken. On top of that, I felt powerless because I didn’t know how to properly comfort my wife. Despite the fact that it wasn’t her fault, she was beating herself up over the miscarriage.
Now, while trying to process our grief, her doctor gave us some insight into miscarriages. Keeping it a buck, before these conversations, I had no idea that 1 in 5 pregnancies ended in miscarriage. Wait, let me say that again. man. 1 in 5 pregnancies, or 20%, end in miscarriage. In addition, Down Syndrome is responsible for a sizable portion of these incidents. This is notable because after having our baby’s tissue tested, we found out that our fetus indeed had Down Syndrome. All I can say is, in the midst of our pain, I was taken aback by these numbers, fam.
The way I see it, as hurtful as it is, I believe that transparency can be extremely helpful. I believe that women need reassurance that these situations aren’t their fault. I believe that families need to know that they’re not alone. Look, despite living in a world that does a GREAT job of highlighting our differences, we all need to know that our commonalities outweigh that. All in all, we are ONE humanity. We laugh, we cry and we share a countless amount of similar experiences. So, let’s do our best to move past any useless divisions.
In the end, I want to give some encouragement to anyone who’s endured this type of tragedy. Ultimately, the pain is intense, but we’re all in this together. By and by, I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m trying to force a conversation that some may not want to have. At the end of the day, I’m just looking to showcase that there are a number of us out there who truly understand. That is all. LC out.