Janelle Monáe’s Got Bars!

Yeeeeeeah, buddy! Janelle Monáe is back, son! She took time out from filming dope ass movies like Moonlight and Hidden Figures to bless us with that fuego, man. With that being said, I want to take this time to briefly talk about the two new joints she put out, fam. All in all, “Django Jane” and “Make Me Feel” showcase different aspects of Monáe’s artistry. Either way, LC has been JAMMIN’, bruh!

Ok, before I get to the Prince influences and Tessa Thompson goodness of the “Make Me Feel” video, let me talk about “Django Jane.” Now, all I know is, Monáe got bars, son! I mean, I knew she could rap from her “Tightrope (Wondamix)” track with Lupe Fiasco and B.o.B. However; she legit has punchlines on this new track, man! Look, as a rapper myself, I always appreciate good wordplay, fam. So, when I hear lines like “I cut ’em off like Van Gogh, now, pan right for the angle,” I get hyped, bruh! In addition, when I hear bars like “I got away with murder, no Scandal, cue the violins and the Viola‘s,” I can’t help but tip my cap, folks. At the end of the day, Monáe can rhyme for real, people!

Moving on, let’s speak about this “Make Me Feel” video. Now, I must say, I have a MASSIVE crush on Janelle Monáe. So, the rumors of her dating Tessa Thompson only suck because that eliminates my chances, son. Listen, I’m pretty sure my wife would say our marriage eliminates my chances, but she understands how hot Monáe is, man. Anyway, Thompson is prominently featured in the video and their chemistry has everybody talking. On top of that, the music is phenomenal, fam! Listen, when most artists attempt a Prince sound, they fuck it up. But, Monáe is able to take the Purple One’s template and make it her own. On the real, I’d bet money that he’s grooving to those guitar licks in Heaven, bruh.

In the end, what else can I say, son? Ultimately, Monáe is two-for-two with these new releases, man. By and by, I can’t wait for her Dirty Computer album, fam. Keeping it a buck, she’s one of the few artists that I truly believe is incapable of making wack shit. So, on that note, let’s jam to that new Dylan hot fire, bruh. That is all. LC out.

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B.o.B Is The Dumbest Man Alive

All jokes aside, how many dumb ideas can one dude have, son? Look, in my eyes, everyone has to pick a thing, man. Like, we all should only be allowed to have one ridiculous belief, fam. For me, I believe The Rolling Stones are better than The Beatles, bruh. Yes, I know some people may think I’m insane, but no one can convince me otherwise. With that being said, rapper B.o.B is DETERMINED to have the most preposterous ideas, folks. First, he claimed that the Earth was flat. Shit, he even got into a beef with Neil deGrasse Tyson about it. Now, he’s claiming that slavery never existed in America. All in all, this clown can’t be fucking serious, people.

Ok, as I stated in the previous paragraph, Bobby Ray is alleging that slavery didn’t happen in America. So, he posted some bullshit on his Instagram page and proudly proclaimed that there was no slavery in his DNA. Furthermore, he wondered why we could find dinosaur bones but couldn’t find any slave ships. Now, outside of the fact that he’s insane, his fuckery bothers me for another reason, son. Look, if this clowncake did even the SMALLEST amount of research, he’d know that everything he’s stated has already been debunked. With that being said, let’s start with slave ships, man.

Now, in Washington, D.C., there’s a little Smithsonian museum called the National Museum of African American History and Culture. Essentially, this museum chronicles the entire history of Black people in the United States. Please note, I’ve written about this exact place on my blog before. Meaning, the virtues of this building have already been added to the zeitgeist. In any case, this museum has tons of valuable items on display, such as artifacts from slave ships that B.o.B claims don’t exist. As it stands, anybody can go to D.C. right now and see remnants of the São José Paquete Africa, a slave ship from Portugal.

Moving on, what confuses me even more is the fact that B.o.B is from the South. I mean, he can go to a bunch of different states and see a preserved plantation right this moment, fam. At the end of the day, there are millions of conspiracies, bruh. However; the existence of slavery isn’t one of them, folks. It just is what it is, people.

In the end, I don’t want to hear any more tomfoolery from B.o.B, son. At this point, I only need him to do one thing, man: give me Sevyn Streeter’s number, fam. I mean, that woman is fine as fuckity-fuck, bruh! In any case, Bobby needs to leave the happy dust alone and go back to making music that people actually care about. Keeping it a buck, he hasn’t really done that in a number of years, folks. LC out.