Get Ray Lewis The F*ck Outta Here!

Man, I have so many simultaneous thoughts in my head, I don’t even know where to start, son. Look, Ray Lewis needs to shut the fuckity-fuck up, fam! Listen, I’m pretty sure that Colin Kaepernick isn’t looking to him for advice, bruh. In addition, I TRULY don’t like the idea of a Black man telling another Black man to be low key about activism. On the real, that’s just another way of saying “play nice and don’t publicly piss off White people.” All in all, fuck all of that, man!

Now, for anyone who missed it, Lewis took it upon himself to show Kaepernick “the way.” According to Lewis, if Kaepernick wants to find another job in the NFL, he needs to be quieter about social injustice. Apparently, standing up for what’s right pales in comparison to not upsetting the owners. By and by, Kaepernick needs to be a “good boy” if he wants to secure a spot on another team.

Real talk, that seems to be a common theme amongst Kaepernick’s Black detractors. Basically, if he stopped making White people uncomfortable, then they’d let him throw the football around again. I mean, this is the same shit I roasted Michael Vick for. We’re so programmed as a community, that instead of championing Kaepernick for standing up for US, we’d rather tell him to be more presentable to the White majority. *Sigh* As Malcolm X once said, “who taught you to hate yourself?” Clearly, we already know the answer to that, son.

Moving on, outside of the ridiculous message, I also have a problem with the source, son. Keeping it a buck, Lewis is the LAST human being who should be giving ANYONE pointers, man! Lest we forget, his white suit was never found after Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar were stabbed to death. Lest we forget, he snitched on Reginald Oakley and Joseph Sweeting to get his murder charges dismissed. Shit, Kaepernick is being judged for taking a knee during the fucking National Anthem, fam. All I know is, Lewis isn’t some beacon of purity, bruh.

In the end, I’m tired of Black people worrying more about our image than our rights. Instead of addressing the issues that Kaepernick is highlighting, folks would rather tell him to pipe down and just play football. Ultimately, the joke is on us as we continue to be mistreated and killed by systemic violence. Then again, maybe Lewis empathizes because he’s also gotten away with murder. Shit, just some food for thought, people. LC out.

P.S. The entire “shut the fuck up” mantra of this post also applies to Kordell Stewart. Seriously, no one wants this dude’s opinion, fam. On the real, all I want from “Slash” is Porsha Williams‘ phone number. Hook that up, bruh. That is all.

R. Kelly Is Who We Thought He Was

On the real, I don’t know what to say right now, son. Like, this story can’t be real, man. I mean, it could very possibly be real, but I can’t believe that we’re here again with R. Kelly. Real talk, this man is a fucking predator, fam! He’s always been a predator and he continues to be one. All I can say is, I hope this is the straw that finally breaks the camel’s back. However; I can’t help but doubt that, bruh.

Now, before I continue, I really want everyone to read this BuzzFeed article. The story was written by Jim DeRogatis, a journalist who’s been trying to show the world who R. Kelly really is for years. In any case, his latest post discusses various reports of Kelly running a six-woman “cult,” where their sole purpose is to please him in any way he sees fit.

Apparently, he brainwashes aspiring singers to the point where he tells them what to eat, when to sleep, how to dress and how to have sex with him. In addition, when they do something wrong, he supposedly abuses them both physically and verbally. Anyway, the parents of two of the young women have notified the police, but since they’re not technically “missing,” the authorities can’t really do anything.

Keeping it a buck, I don’t even have the time to detail all of the tidbits in this story, man. All I know is, Kelly is reportedly keeping these girls on either his Atlanta or Chicago property. Rumor has it, Kelly even had a “den mother” who taught the girls how to sexually satisfy him. Even crazier, this unnamed woman is said to be a friend of the underage girl who was in the R. Kelly sextape. Like, I can’t make this shit up, fam! This dude R. Kelly is really out here WILIN’, son!

Moving on, I remember DeRogatis’ name because of an article I read in the Village Voice a few years back. In it, writer Jessica Hopper detailed DeRogatis’ findings about the lengths that Kelly would go to prey on young girls. After all of this time, two things are incredibly chilling, man: the fact that he’s still out here victimizing the opposite sex, and the fact that people still don’t seem to care.

At this point, how can anyone defend this man?! I mean, we KNOW he married an underage Aaliyah. We KNOW he raped a minor on video. Good fucking Lord, what will it take for people to finally turn on this dude?! He takes advantage of people who can’t defend themselves and folks are still willing to jam to his music. Where’s the fucking line, son?! This is the same bullshit with Bill Cosby. Art doesn’t make up for rape, son! Not in any sense, man. Enough is fucking enough!

In the end, fuck this fool, fam! Also, fuck anybody that shrugs off his behavior! Indifference is exactly why he’s been able to skate for so long. The time has come for him to be held accountable for his actions. Then again, some idiot is going to read this post and still put on one of his albums. *Sigh* I don’t know what else to say, son. LC out.

P.S. All jokes aside, I really want everyone to read that BuzzFeed article, man. Like, the story is waaaaay creepier than anything I wrote in this post, fam. All in all, I’m fucking disgusted, bruh! Absolutely disgusted. That is all.

Kanye West Isn’t Traditionally American

On the real, I have to give racists their just due, son. They really do come up with some colorful ways to say disrespectful shit about minorities. I mean, calling a Black person a “nigger” is just way too easy, man. These days, bigots are looking for a lot more extravagance in their insults. With that being said, I legitimately chuckled when I heard what Tom Barrack said about Kanye West. Instead of just saying Black rappers aren’t invited to Donald Trump‘s inauguration, he said that Kanye wasn’t right for a “typically and traditionally American event.”

Now, I’m sure everyone can guess what I’m about to ask next. What exactly is typically and traditionally American? I mean, as far as I know, Kanye was born in Atlanta and raised in Chicago. In addition, he has family ties all throughout the Midwest and the South. Does that not make him typically and traditionally American? Or how about the fact he’s a musician in a genre that was born in New York. Does that not make him typically and traditionally American?

Wait, wait, wait, I get it now, man. He doesn’t represent the part of America that White people consider valid. He doesn’t represent the White “working-class” individuals who were simultaneously glorified and martyred during this past presidential election. Basically, he’s too Black to represent the kind of America that Trump champions. I understand it all now, son.

The most hilarious part of this entire situation is a statement from Barrack that flew under the radar. When referencing the relationship between Kanye and Trump, he said “he considers himself a friend of the President-elect.” Pay attention to those words carefully, man. Barrack said that KANYE considers HIMSELF a friend, bruh. I’m laughing my ass off because he basically invalidated Ye’s entire bond with Trump. After all of Kanye’s cooning, he couldn’t even get Trump’s team to flat out call him an ally. Wow, son. Fucking wow, man! So what was it all for, son? Only a photo op? Man, somebody get Kanye the fuck outta here, bruh.

All in all, these clowns can have their inauguration, man. 65.8 million Americans aren’t even rocking with Trump anyway. He can have his little shindig with his D-list celebrities (Chrisette Michele included). I guarantee most of us won’t be watching that bullshit in the first place. Good day.

Let’s Talk About The Blackity-Black Golden Globes

I’m Black, y’all, and I’m Black, y’all, and I’m Blackity-Black and I’m Black, y’all. Man, if anyone watched the Golden Globes last night, they would’ve probably heard those CB4 lyrics cycling in the background. All jokes aside, last night’s awards show was a great time for Black actors and actresses. After a year of exceptional work in both television and film, multiple Black stars were honored for their respective performances. Accolades were doled out for achievements both in front of and behind the camera. With that being said, let’s keep the party going and talk about all of our winners, son. Ohledoit!

Now, if we’re starting with television, we’ve got to give major props to both Donald Glover and Tracee Ellis Ross. First off, let’s talk about the fact that Ross is the first Black woman to win the award for Best Actress – Musical or Comedy since Debbie Allen. To put this into perspective, Allen won that award back in 1983 for Fame. To give even MORE perspective, Allen won that award before I was born and I’m in my early 30’s. Needless to say, it’s been a long fucking time, son. Ross has been killing it on black-ish for a while now. This honor is long overdue, man. Massive congrats to her.

Next, let’s talk about Donald Glover, aka Childish Gambino. This dude had an incredible night, man. Shiiiit, if we’re counting his “Awaken, My Love!” album and his soon-to-be stint as Star WarsLando Calrissian, Glover had an incredible 2016, son. In any case, not only did he win the award for Best Actor – Musical or Comedy, but his show, Atlanta, also won Best Series – Musical or Comedy.

Keeping it a buck, Atlanta and Issa Rae’s Insecure were my two favorite shows of the past year. Both Glover and Rae made shows that were unapologetically Black and dared the mainstream to get onboard. Keep in mind, when I say “unapologetically Black,” I’m not referring to any stereotypical depictions of Black people. Both shows displayed the nuances of our community and depicted the fact that we’re not all a monolith. So, with a show like Atlanta being respected, it shows us all that we don’t have to dilute ourselves for recognition.

Moving on, let’s get to these movies, son. All I know is, all praises are due to Viola Davis and Moonlight. Davis won the award for Best Supporting Actress – Drama, Musical or Comedy for her role in Fences and Moonlight won Best Motion Picture – Drama. Now, even though I believe Davis should’ve been in the Best Actress category, it’s about time Hollywood recognized she’s one of the best in the game. She’s been a deity for quite some time now, man. They’re officially late to the party, son.

Also, to keep it going, Moonlight was the best movie I watched last year. If we’re being real, homosexuality can be a taboo subject in the Black community. However; this film does any amazing job of chronicling a man’s journey through self-realization and self-acceptance. There was nothing cliché about the storyline and it’s impossible to not be emotionally invested in the characters. Side note, I love absolutely EVERYTHING about Janelle Monáe. I’d find a way to marry her if my wife wouldn’t kill me first.

In the end, while we don’t need Hollywood’s acceptance to do great work, it’s still good to see them acknowledge our awesomeness. With or without their help, we need to continue pushing OUR art forward and telling OUR stories. That’s the only real way to shape our own narrative. Once again, congrats to all of last night’s winners, man. Good day.

P.S. I hate to end this post on a critical note, but someone tell the Golden Globes that Hidden Figures and Fences are two different movies. No, White people, we don’t all look alike and we don’t all act in the same movies. That is all.

P.P.S. Shout-out to Glover again for showing love to Migos‘ “Bad and Boujee“. That song is without a doubt the most enjoyable thing on the planet right now. Rain drop… LC out.

Donald Glover Is My Hero

Disclaimer: There are spoilers all over this post, son. If anyone hasn’t watched Donald Glover’s Atlanta yet, be warned, I’m spilling all of the beans, bro. I’m just trying to give the people a heads-up, man. Now, let’s go.

Let’s just skip the formalities and get right to the proceedings, son. Donald Glover is my hero, man. I watched the first two episodes of his new show (Atlanta) last night, and I couldn’t be more hyped for what’s to come. For me, it’s refreshing to see a Black show on TV that doesn’t revolve around clichés, stereotypes and overall coonery. Side note, I’m well aware of the fact Black-ish also exists, so let me cook, man. In any case, as it stands now, the characters seem to have understated complexities that will surely evolve as the season progresses. With all of that being said, allow me to talk about some of my favorite scenes. Ready? Let’s get to it, son.

The first scene that jumps out at me is the one where Alfred (Paper Boi) gets into an altercation with a stranger over his car. While watching the events unfold with my fiancée, we found ourselves at odds in terms of how he should’ve handled the situation. On one hand, she thought he should’ve just left the situation alone. On the other hand, I COMPLETELY understood why he confronted that dude. He was just sitting in his car, minding his own damn business, and this random guy decides to kick off his side view mirror. Man, I would’ve been LIVID, son. Now, I wouldn’t advise anyone to shoot another person over this, but I’d absolutely give that clown a couple of kidney shots, for good measure.

Next, another scene that sticks out to me is one that occurs while Earn is in jail. Through no fault of his own, he’s sitting in the middle of a conversation between some other dude and a trans woman. During the dialogue, the man waxes poetically about the days he and the lady used to bump uglies, seemingly unaware of the fact she’s transgender. When the other men in the holding area call the guy out over this, he’s simultaneously overrun with anger and confusion, all while trying to establish the fact he isn’t gay. In a scene that probably lasted less than five minutes, the show was able to tackle a perception of the transgender community without being crass. It definitely takes a handful of bravery and gravitas to open up such a taboo dialogue in only the second episode.

Lastly, this next observation isn’t about a particular scene, but I have to say, the homie Darius is hilarious, man. Any man who can talk about lemon pepper wings, his balls been crushed and the meaning of life with the same level of deadpan is a genius, son. Honestly, whatever weed that dude is smoking, I want in, bro. He doesn’t seem to have a single care in the entire world. That’s truly the way to live, man.

In the end, there’s nothing else to say, bro. So far, this show is awesome. I’m definitely looking forward to the upcoming episodes. Viva la intelligent writing, man! I’m pretty sure that last sentence didn’t make much sense, but who cares, son. Fight me. Good day.