Who In Hawaii Needs To Get Fired?

Look, this is a wild era right now, son. Like, it really feels like a nuclear catastrophe could arise at any minute, man. With that being said, we ain’t got the time to be worried about idiots who are bad at their job. I mean, a high level of incompetence resulted in the nonsense that occurred in Hawaii. All I know is, the good people down there didn’t deserve the fear that was unjustly instilled in them.

Ok, for those who missed it, some bonehead in the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency made a MASSIVE mistake. Now, on Saturday, an unknown individual sent out a message that said “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.” Needless to say, Hawaiians lost their collective minds, fam! Shit, all of us would if we received a similar message, bruh! Listen, whether we’re speaking about North Korea or ISIS, there are real threats out there in the world. In any case, now is not the time to be making these kind of mistakes, folks!

Now, the agency has come out and said that the error occurred because someone pushed the wrong button. Apparently, instead of pressing “test alert,” some dumb-dumb pressed “live alert.” So, what, that’s all it took to send an entire state into panic, son? Like, there aren’t more safeguards to prevent this type of tomfoolery? Fam, what kind of idiocy is this? For fuck’s sake, who designed this backwards ass system, man? All in all, everyone down there should be fired for this brand of fuckery, fam!

In the end, I’m just glad everyone in Hawaii is safe, bruh. Yeah, they had an unnecessary scare, but ultimately, the alternative could’ve been REAL bad, son! By and by, a fake message about a ballistic missile is waaaaaay better than a real ballistic missile, fam. Now, instead of mourning the loss of fallen loved ones, we can make sure that inept assholes are no longer in charge of our safety. That is all. LC out.

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Donald Trump’s Sh*thole Of Racism

*Sigh* I don’t even want to do this, son. Like, I really had to battle with myself about writing this post, man. In any case, my conscience wouldn’t let me cook if I stayed silent through Donald Trump‘s latest episode of fuckery. With that being said, let me go Super Saiyan on President Orange for what he said about Haiti and Africa. *Sigh* And here… we… go!

So, let’s get straight to the fuckity-fuck shit, fam. Apparently, during a White House meeting on immigration, Trump decided to THOROUGHLY disrespect Haiti and Africa. As reported by The New York Times, when a deal was presented that included protections for folks from both places, Trump wanted to know why America accepts people from “shithole countries.” Now, to add insult to injury, he wondered why we don’t except more people from places like Norway. Yeah, these are real comments, bruh.

Now, let’s unpack all of the different ways this is egregiously insulting, son. First, there’s the clear racial aspect, man. Look, in Trump’s own words, he’d prefer folks from a predominantly White country as opposed to mostly Black nations. Shit, based on that statement alone, we can clearly see that immigration isn’t really the problem, fam. Nah, people of color are seen as the problem, bruh. Basically, this is yet ANOTHER example of Trump’s CLEAR racism, folks. I mean, his bigotry is so obvious that I almost have to respect the blatancy of it, people.

Next, let’s talk about this unfounded categorization of Haitians and Africans. For one, immigrants from African nations are renowned for having a high percentage of advanced degrees. Hell, if we look at Nigerians alone, nearly 40% have bachelor’s degrees and almost 20% have master’s degrees. Now, for anyone keeping score, that’s the highest percentage of any racial group in this country.

Moving on, let’s talk about Haiti, son. Listen, when it comes to Haiti, their citizens have endured some of the greatest tribulations in human history. Look, despite being the only Black community to free themselves from slavery, their actions came with a cost, man. Real talk, Haiti had to pay France the equivalent of $21 billion to be recognized as a sovereign nation. Now, when we add on the treachery of the Duvalier family and the devastating earthquake in 2010, we’re looking at a country that’s never caught a break, fam. With all of that being said, why is the American President deriding a whole group of people for their own misfortune? Jesus, this man has NO fucking couth at all!

In the end, I’m never surprised by the tomfoolery that comes out of Trump’s mouth. Frankly, I’m just still shocked that proponents always find a way to justify his actions. Hell, while watching Fox News (because I hate myself), I literally watched Ann Coulter say that all Haitians do is fill up our prisons. Ultimately, the consistent and intentional misrepresentation of people of color is tiring, bruh. All in all, fuck America, son! That is all. LC out.

I Don’t Want Celebrities Running For President

So, I won’t lie, son. I can already see some of the angry responses I might get for this post, man. However; I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t keep it a buck, fam. Look, Oprah Winfrey don’t need to be the damn President, bruh! In fact, NO celebrity needs to be the President, people! Listen, even though I believe Donald Trump is insane, I also believe he’s shown us that we need experience in the Oval Office. Shit, I can’t even be a computer repairman without some experience. With that being said, why should we shirk credibility for the highest job in the land?

Ok, before I continue, let me make one thing clear, son. On the real, I have nothing against Oprah, man. I mean, her influence in media goes without saying. So, there’s no way I can hate on anyone who’s accomplished as much as she has. However; what the fuckity-fuck does Oprah know about government, fam? Look, we’re not talking about the community board, fam. We’re talking about President of the United States! Real talk, when did it become cool for a novice to be the most powerful person in the world? I swear, Trump has truly, TRULY ruined politics, bruh.

Look, let’s be honest for a second, folks. Celebrities are only talking about running because the bar has been lowered. Hell, I’m sure the average celeb believes they’re more sane than Trump, so that means they could hold office. However; President Orange was never qualified in the first place, son. So, he should NEVER be a comparison point for any of these other famous people. With that being said, Oprah isn’t qualified to be President, The Rock isn’t qualified to be President and neither is Kanye West. For the love of God, please leave our elected offices to people who have at least ran a district before! All in all, the madness needs to stop, man!

In the end, can we chill with the shenanigans, fam? Ultimately, car salesmen don’t need to build cars and television personalities don’t need to be President. By and by, Oprah has all of the power in the world and can pull the strings behind the scene. That doesn’t mean she has the first clue about how to run the country. All I know is, she helped Barack Obama and she can help another qualified candidate. Now, if she wants to join local politics and then move up, I can jive with that. However; the White House off the rip? No thanks. LC out.

Alabama Made The Right Decision

So, let me keep it a buck here, son. The Senate election in Alabama wasn’t about the Left versus the Right, man. This election wasn’t about the Democrats versus the Republicans. Frankly, this election was about right versus clear-cut wrong, fam. Look, if Alabama actually put Roy Moore in Congress, then they would’ve put a racist pedophile in an elected office. With that being said, Doug Jones was DEFINITELY the better choice, bruh. All in all, I’m just glad that Alabama didn’t do what I thought they were gonna do.

Ok, at this point, I shouldn’t have to explain how horrible of a person Moore is, son. I mean, I’ve already detailed his history of pedophilia and sexual abuse. In any case, he also has a strong, STRONG background of racism, man. Shit, just the other day, he got outed for saying that America was better when we had slavery. Somehow, Moore asserted that the family unit was stronger during a time when slaves didn’t have the right to have families. I… I didn’t even know how to respond to that when I heard it, fam.

Listen, the fact that Moore was even in this race says EVERYTHING about our country, bruh. Hell, I was watching MSNBC last night and there was a poll that said that 55% of Alabama voters didn’t care about the allegations against Moore. Good Lord, that’s fucking insane, son! On the real, these folks are so dedicated to the GOP that they were WILLFULLY looking the other way to Moore’s pedophilia. Real talk, that’s fucking FRIGHTENING, man! All I can say is, political allegiance is damn near as dangerous as religious zealotry, fam.

Now, with all of that being said, America needs to thank Black people… again. Taking it a step further, the country needs to thank Black women specifically, bruh. Based on the final voting numbers, Black women represented 18% of the total vote and 97% of them voted for Jones. In addition, Black men represented 12% of the total vote and 92% of them also voted for Jones. Basically, Black people saved everyone’s ass, son. All I know is, the Senate dynamic just got A LOT more interesting, man. Keeping it a buck, Congress desperately needs this balancing act, fam.

In the end, fuck Roy Moore, fuck Steve Bannon and fuck Donald Trump (word to YG). Ultimately, this nation has a TON of problems, but electing a racist pedophile shouldn’t be one of them, bruh. By and by, I’m just relieved that this race didn’t go a different way, son. Look, I know this country jumped the shark a long time ago. However; a Moore candidacy was nothing short of preposterous, man. That is all. LC out.

The REAL Faces Of Terror

Disclaimer: This post is probably going to piss some people off, son. Tough shit, man.

Look, I’m going to just get straight to the point, fam. When it comes to terrorism in America, radical Muslims aren’t our biggest threat. Now, if we’re keeping it a buck here, there’s one group who’s a larger problem than anyone else: White men. Listen, I know a lot of people are going to take this post the wrong way, but the numbers don’t lie, bruh. Since 9/11, WAY more Americans have been killed by White men than Islamic extremists. All in all, THIS is the REAL face of terror, folks!

Ok, before I continue, let me make one thing clear: radical Islamic terrorists are a real problem. Now, I don’t want to make it sound like I don’t believe that groups like ISIS and al-Qaeda are a problem. With that being said, they don’t cause NEARLY as many issues in the United States as politicians would have us believe. Shit, even when it comes to extremist-related attacks, a good number of the perpetrators are U.S. citizens. In addition, even when they’re not citizens, none of them come from the countries on Donald Trump’s Muslim Ban. So, what terror is he preventing exactly?

So, I was compelled to write this post after the tragedy in Sutherland Springs, Texas. Just yesterday, 26-year-old Devin Patrick Kelley opened fire at First Baptist Church. In the wake of the carnage, 26 people were killed, including the pastor’s daughter. Now, once his mayhem had subsided, he was found dead in his vehicle, seemingly from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. As of now, we have no idea what his motive was. However; history tells us that he was a piece of shit.

Now, based on recently-released information, Kelley was a bad seed through and through. During his time in the Air Force, he was court-martialed for beating up his wife and his child. He ended up serving a year in a military prison and was subsequently dishonorably discharged. Furthermore, he wasn’t allowed to own any weapons but still descended upon the people in that church with an assault rifle. *Sigh* Man, half of the parishioners are dead and we have NO clue why, son.

Moving on, I don’t want to turn this into a political debate, but Trump truly makes my blood boil, man. He couldn’t WAIT to call Sayfullo Saipov an “animal,” but had no such words for Kelley. Instead, he chalked it all up to a “mental health” issue and refused to comment on gun control. Well, if it’s “too early” to talk about gun reform, then why isn’t it too early to talk about mental health? Let’s be real, Trump doesn’t know anything about this man, fam. So, how does he know whether or not he’s crazy? Bruh, get the flying fuck outta here!

In the end, I just want this country to be honest with itself, son. Devin Patrick Kelley is a terrorist, man. Stephen Paddock is a terrorist, fam. Ultimately, Americans have a higher probability of running into them than an Islamic extremist. By and by, until we come to grips with these facts, people are going to keep on dying, bruh. All I can say, Rest In Peace to all of the innocent people who lost their lives. LC out.

B.o.B Is The Dumbest Man Alive

All jokes aside, how many dumb ideas can one dude have, son? Look, in my eyes, everyone has to pick a thing, man. Like, we all should only be allowed to have one ridiculous belief, fam. For me, I believe The Rolling Stones are better than The Beatles, bruh. Yes, I know some people may think I’m insane, but no one can convince me otherwise. With that being said, rapper B.o.B is DETERMINED to have the most preposterous ideas, folks. First, he claimed that the Earth was flat. Shit, he even got into a beef with Neil deGrasse Tyson about it. Now, he’s claiming that slavery never existed in America. All in all, this clown can’t be fucking serious, people.

Ok, as I stated in the previous paragraph, Bobby Ray is alleging that slavery didn’t happen in America. So, he posted some bullshit on his Instagram page and proudly proclaimed that there was no slavery in his DNA. Furthermore, he wondered why we could find dinosaur bones but couldn’t find any slave ships. Now, outside of the fact that he’s insane, his fuckery bothers me for another reason, son. Look, if this clowncake did even the SMALLEST amount of research, he’d know that everything he’s stated has already been debunked. With that being said, let’s start with slave ships, man.

Now, in Washington, D.C., there’s a little Smithsonian museum called the National Museum of African American History and Culture. Essentially, this museum chronicles the entire history of Black people in the United States. Please note, I’ve written about this exact place on my blog before. Meaning, the virtues of this building have already been added to the zeitgeist. In any case, this museum has tons of valuable items on display, such as artifacts from slave ships that B.o.B claims don’t exist. As it stands, anybody can go to D.C. right now and see remnants of the São José Paquete Africa, a slave ship from Portugal.

Moving on, what confuses me even more is the fact that B.o.B is from the South. I mean, he can go to a bunch of different states and see a preserved plantation right this moment, fam. At the end of the day, there are millions of conspiracies, bruh. However; the existence of slavery isn’t one of them, folks. It just is what it is, people.

In the end, I don’t want to hear any more tomfoolery from B.o.B, son. At this point, I only need him to do one thing, man: give me Sevyn Streeter’s number, fam. I mean, that woman is fine as fuckity-fuck, bruh! In any case, Bobby needs to leave the happy dust alone and go back to making music that people actually care about. Keeping it a buck, he hasn’t really done that in a number of years, folks. LC out.

Don’t Forget What Colin Kaepernick Actually Kneeled For

So, let me get straight to the point, son. Colin Kaepernick‘s movement is starting to become convoluted, man. I mean, with all of the noise, debates and arguments, the original catalyst for kneeling is getting lost. With that being said, allow me to remind everyone what Kaepernick was protesting for. All in all, regardless of anyone else’s intentions, Kaepernick wanted to bring attention to racial injustice in America.

Now, before I continue, let me reiterate something I’ve stated before. Look, kneeling during the National Anthem has NOTHING to do with disrespecting the troops. Frankly, our brothers and sisters in the Armed Forces were never part of this conversation, fam. Real talk, the motive behind the protest was ALWAYS to bring attention to systemic racism, bigotry and police brutality. Listen, when we look at all of the Black victims of state-sanctioned murder, our anger shouldn’t be surprising, bruh.

Moving on, when detractors bring up the troops, they’re literally just trying to create a diversion. On the real, I have family members AND friends who have either previously served or currently serve in the military. By and by, their sacrifice has never been in question here. Keeping it a buck, anyone who is willing to put their lives on the line for their country should be celebrated. All I know is, nothing and no one can take that away from them, son.

All in all, kneeling for the anthem was never designed to disrespect them. Shit, if people cared for the troops as much as they say they do, then why don’t they pay more attention to the mental and physical issues of our veterans? In addition, why don’t more people pay attention to number of homeless veterans around the country? Honestly, folks are more interested in sound bites than real change.

In any case, when it comes to the anthem, the hypocrisy needs to stop, man. Listen, I’ve detailed all of this on my blog before. Fam, I’ve already spoken about Francis Scott Key, the writer of The Star-Spangled Banner. I’ve already talked about how he was a slave owner and an anti-abolitionist. I’ve already mentioned that there are more verses to the song that DIRECTLY reference slavery. Good Lord, bruh, I truly don’t understand why White people think Black people should embrace that fucking song. It was LITERALLY written by a man who wanted to deny us rights! Please, get the FUCK outta here!

Lastly, I’m calling bullshit on all of the NFL owners who’ve been kneeling with their players. Listen, am I supposed to believe that the same owners who wouldn’t give Kaepernick a job actually give a fuck about our rights? Hell, didn’t Dez Bryant previously say that Jerry Jones wasn’t with the shits? Now I’m supposed to believe he’s down for the cause? Bruh, how stupid do these billionaires think we are? Ultimately, all of these teams took a knee and locked arms as an affront to Donald Trump. This was NEVER done in support of equality. Meaning, they can take their bullshit gesture and shove it, fam!

In the end, I became more and more pissed as I wrote this article. Look, a protest that started with pure intentions has been grossly bastardized, son. All I can say is, I don’t want the spirit of Kaepernick’s sacrifice to get lost in the shuffle. Listen, that man risked it all to bring attention to the plight of Black and Brown people. All I know is, I don’t want politics and bipartisanship to dilute the message. Don’t fall for the okie doke, people. That is all. LC out.