‘El Camino’ Is Aight

Disclaimer: Spoilers, son. Spoilers. That is all.

So, after expressing my excitement/reservation about El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie, I’m finally back with my assessment, son. Now, I won’t lie, man. The film is cool, fam. Just cool. I mean, it definitely isn’t bad, but it also isn’t on the level of the original Breaking Bad. Hell, it isn’t even on the level of Better Call Saul, bruh. All in all, I may have expected more from Vince Gilligan, but the movie is still a welcomed addition.

Ok, for those who are interested, here’s the movie’s backstory. Now, after Walter White released him from the Brotherhood‘s enslavement, Jesse Pinkman finds his way to his friends, Skinny Pete and Badger. Anyway, due to the machine gun-induced chaos that occurred in Breaking Bad‘s “Felina,” the police are looking to question Pinkman. Anyway, with the help of Skinny and Badger, Pinkman is able to avoid the (real) authorities. Side bar, he did have a run-in with some muhfuckas dressed like cops, but that’s another story, son.

Moving on, Pinkman’s goal is to get enough money to pay Ed Galbraith for a brand new identity. Now, for anyone who’s unfamiliar, Galbraith is a dude who originally helped White evade authorities and gave Saul Goodman a way out after all of Heisenberg‘s fuckery. In any case, Pinkman has to find double the amount to pay Galbraith because he didn’t show up the first time Galbraith tried to help him disappear. From there, Pinkman ends up robbing/killing a couple of people for the extra bread and blah, blah, blah.

Look, let me be clear, man. Real talk, it may appear like I’m being flippant about the movie. In reality, I actually enjoyed it, fam. The way I see it, it’s a fitting ending to the Breaking Bad story. Shit, we already knew what happened to White, we knew what happened to Goodman, and now, we know what happens to Pinkman. On the real, I think the film suffers because it’s a film. Meaning, Breaking Bad benefitted from being a television show. Frankly, Gilligan could really get in depth with the details, bruh. Keeping it a buck, that attention to detail is what made Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul great shows. The fact is, it’s hard to cram all of that shit in two hours, son.

In the end, I still appreciate the movie, man. Ultimately, it’s a good addition to the Breaking Bad canon, fam. By and by, I might’ve gotten my hopes too high, but I can’t necessarily say I was disappointed, bruh. At the end of the day, I will always watch anything Breaking Bad-related, son. YEAH, BITCH! MAGNETS! Good day. LC out.

I Have Mixed Feelings About This ‘Breaking Bad’ Movie

So, let me begin by saying that Breaking Bad is the greatest show in the history of mankind. Listen, I don’t care what anyone says and I don’t want to hear any alternatives. On the real, there is literally NOTHING a person can say to change my mind about this, son. With that being said, I’m simultaneously excited and frightened about the announcement of a Breaking Bad-inspired movie. Frankly, I don’t want Vince Gilligan to ruin a classic, man.

Ok, for those who missed it, Gilligan, the creator, head writer and main director for AMC‘s Breaking Bad, is bringing his talents to Netflix. So, on October 11th, the Aaron Paul-led El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie will hit the streaming service. Now, based on what I’ve read, the plot begins in the aftermath of “Felina,” Breaking Bad‘s final episode. As a refresher, Walter White liberated Jesse Pinkman from his White supremacist captors, and then Pinkman escaped in a Chevrolet El Camino (hint hint). In addition, White ended up dying, not from his cancer, but by bullets from his own M60 machine gun.

Moving on, while I don’t know much about this movie’s plot, it apparently follows Pinkman’s journey after securing his freedom. Now, a part of me can’t contain my happiness, fam. I mean, the prospect of more Breaking Bad in my life is almost more than I can handle, bruh. But, what is the show without Walter White? What is the show without the complicated relationship between Heisenberg and Pinkman? Shit, can Pinkman carry the entire film himself? Does Vince Gilligan still have a compelling story to tell? All in all, I have as much fear as elation, son. The truth is, I don’t want the saga to jump the shark, man.

In the end, only time will tell, fam. Ultimately, I’ll have all of my questions answered on October 11th, bruh. By and by, I have my fingers crossed and I’m hoping for the best, son. At the end of the day, I trust Gilligan, man. Real talk, I don’t think he’ll lead us astray, brethren. That is all. LC out.

A Letter To ‘Black Panther’ Haters

Dear Black Panther haters,

Eat a diiiiiiiiiiiiiiick, son! On the real, y’all are nothing but a bunch of miserable carpetbaggers who want to fuck up a good thing. All I know is, is takes a special level of loser to launch a campaign designed to ruin a movie’s approval rating. With that being said, I’m glad that Rotten Tomatoes caught on to the bullshit, man. All in all, there ain’t no way to stop this Wakanda parade, fam. It’s T’Challa over everything, bruh!

Ok, before I continue, let me get this straight, son. So, y’all really formed a Facebook group with the intention of giving Black Panther a bad score on Rotten Tomatoes? Wait, y’all tried to do this nonsense before with Star Wars: The Last Jedi? Why? Because y’all are angry about the critical response to those trash ass DC Comics movies? Man, if y’all don’t get the FUCK outta here! Look, there wasn’t a conspiracy to flame those terrible Warner Bros.-produced movies. They were just awful, fam. Man of Steel sucked. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice sucked. Justice League sucked. Now, NONE of this is anyone’s fault but Warner Bros., bruh. Real talk, if they made better movies, no one would be trashing them, folks.

In the end, you paint-sniffers can go back to whatever hole y’all climbed out of. Your hate won’t stop this train from rolling, son. Right now, we’re about two weeks away from the Black Panther premier, and we can’t wait, man! Ultimately, the revolution will be televised in IMAX, fam. By and by, y’all should either get down or lay down. There’s no other choice, bruh. That is all.


A dude who’s about to show up to AMC Theatres with kente cloth on when Black Panther drops

A Wheelchair Doesn’t Stop Sexual Assault

Look, I won’t lie, son. It’s mind-boggling how much I’ve had to write about sexual assault over the last few weeks, man. From Harvey Weinstein to Bill O’Reilly to #MeToo, it’s clear that dudes just can’t keep their hands to themselves, fam. Shit, I guess we can add George H.W. Bush to that list, bruh. Apparently, according to AMC’s Heather Lind, Bush can be a little too free with his hands. *Sigh* I guess not even a wheelchair can stop male fuckery, folks.

So, for those who missed it, Lind recently came out and threw Bush under the bus. Now, according to an Instagram post, the incident happened during a screening of Turn, Lind’s show on AMC. Allegedly, from his wheelchair, Bush touched her from behind AND made a dirty joke. From there, when Barbara Bush got wind of what occurred, apparently she just rolled her eyes at her husband. Shit, I suppose she’s used to the fuckity-fuck shit, son.

Now, to put this all into perspective, this situation happened about four years ago. At this time, Bush would’ve been 89 years old. So, even at that age and confined to a wheelchair, Bush couldn’t resist the abuse, man. Good fucking Lord, fam! Is there ANY scenario where a woman can feel safe, bruh? Like, is there ANYWHERE they can go where they won’t be violated? Real talk, I just keep hearing story after story and it’s driving me insane. Seriously, all of my fellow men need to do WAY better, people! All I know is, this type of behavior is beyond unacceptable, son.

In the end, I have nothing else to say here, man. Ultimately, this story is yet another example of the consistent harassment women have to deal with. By and by, I don’t know why it’s so hard for men to wait for women to give them the go-ahead. Shit, women love sex too, fam. Just wait for them to offer it, bruh. That is all. LC out.

‘TWD’ Review: Don’t Be A Good Samaritan

Disclaimer: Spooooooooilers! Got it?

So, in regards to last night’s The Walking Dead season premiere, there are a ton of topics I could touch on, son. However; as of right now, there’s only one storyline that’s on my mind, man. I mean, in an apocalyptic world of zombies and shitty people, Gregory might be the shittiest, fam. Look, he’s been a bitch-ass bitch ever since he’s appeared on screen, but he took it to another level last night. All in all, Father Gabriel learned the hard way that being a Good Samaritan is for the birds, bruh.

Ok, for those who are familiar, its World War 3 in TWD land. Rick Grimes finally grew his balls back and decided to take the fight to Negan and The Saviors. In any case, with the help of his Alexandria kinfolk, Rick invaded The Sanctuary and unleashed a storm of bullets, fire and random walkers. Now, before all of the excitement got underway, Gregory, the herb-ass leader of the Hilltop Colony, betrayed Rick and company by pledging his allegiance to Negan. Anyway, the way I see it, that’s more than enough reason for him to catch a slug, son. However; Father Gabriel seemed to feel differently, man.

Now, in the midst of the chaos, Father Gabriel decided to go and save Gregory. Meaning, he left the sanctity of his metal-fortified car and tried to grab the hoe-ass Hilltop leader. So, what did Gabriel get for his troubles? An infestation of walkers and a stolen car, courtesy of Gregory. Yeah, this fuckity-fucktard really left Gabriel stranded in the middle of the nonsense. Shit, I knew saving Gregory was a bad idea from the jump, but I never expected things to go so left, fam.

Moving on, just when I thought Gabriel was done for, we see him find shelter from the walkers. However; there’s one glaring issue: he’s now trapped in the same building as Negan. Man, I don’t know what’s worse, bruh: the walkers or Negan. Shit, I think I’d rather die at the hands and mouths of the walkers, son. Listen, Negan is BATSHIT CRAZY, man!

In the end, the world of TWD ain’t the Bible, fam. That Good Samaritan shit ain’t good for anybody, bruh. Ultimately, being a standup dude has now placed Father Gabriel in a pool of shit, folks. By and by, something TURRIBLE needs to happen to Gregory, son! Real talk, somebody better torture his ass before they kill him, man. Yeah, shit just got that real, people. That is all. LC out.

Dave Chappelle + A Tribe Called Quest = Classic!

So, I know what some people may be thinking, son. Just a few posts ago, I was hard on Dave Chappelle. He said some fuckity-fuck shit during a standup routine and I had to call him out on it, man. Nobody is safe from being ridiculed, bro. That’s what I call “checks and balances.” With that being said, in that particular post, I also mentioned how huge of a fan I was, and still am, of Chappelle. So, I was more than thrilled to watch his performance on the most recent episode of Saturday Night Live. When we add two impassioned performances from A Tribe Called Quest, it’s safe to say we all witnessed a night for the books, man.

Now, we all know there was no way Donald Trump could become president and Dave would stay mum on the issue. This topic, along with the political landscape at large, was discussed in his opening monologue and the “Election Night” sketch. In these scenarios, he, with some help from Chris Rock, expressed not being surprised by Trump’s election. Furthermore, he implored the president-elect to give the disenfranchised people of this country a fair shot to prosper. Shit, at this point, that’s all any of us want, son. In addition, Chappelle spoofed the Negan beat down from this season of The Walking Dead. However; instead of the show’s actual cast of characters, Tyrone Biggums, Clayton Bigsby, Silky, Chuck Taylor and “Lil Jon” served as the would-be victims. Do I even need to explain how huge, and hilarious, this is, man?! No, I didn’t think so!

Moving on, when it comes to ATCQ, the legendary Rap group used both performances to pay tribute to their fallen co-founder, Phife Dawg. Not to be left behind, Busta Rhymes and Consequence joined in on the festivities, reminding everyone of why the Native Tongues representatives are icons in the first damn place. Side note, everyone needs to go listen to their newest, and final, album, We Got It from Here… Thank You 4 Your Service. The group was able to make a swan song that’s unmistakably them, but without sounding dated. Thank you, Newborn Baby Jesus!

In the end, it’s a celebration, bitches! Now, instead of me simply paraphrasing the greatness of this SNL episode, I’ll just let the clips speak for themselves. Enjoy yourselves! Nothing else needs to be said, son. Good day.

Negan Is The Most Savage Of The Savages

Disclaimer: This post is nothing but spoilers, son. Literally all of the spoilers, man. If anyone doesn’t want me to ruin their experience, run for the hills immediately. Now, let’s get it.

Ok, to be real, there are a few people upset with me right now. Last night, I hit my Instagram and Facebook timelines with a vengeance and let loose a bunch of bombs about The Walking Dead. Now, while I completely understand why some would like to hit me with Lucille, Negan’s bat, allow me to defend myself for a second. I mean, Negan OD’d, man! He fucking OD’d in last night’s episode! My apologies for getting caught up in the moment, but shit, I was blown away by the level of Negan’s savagery. With that being said, after only an episode and change, I’m a firm believer that Negan is on the Mount Rushmore of television goons.

At this point, I’m sure everyone who watches the show knows how last season ended. Rick Grimes and company were surrounded by the Saviors, placed on their knees and forced to watch Negan beat the tomato sauce out of someone. Naturally, we all assumed only one member of the Alexandria crew was going to get the casket treatment. But nooooooo, Negan had to take it a step further and knock off TWO compadres from the squad!

To begin, Abraham Ford was first up to bat after being chosen due to a fucked up game of “eeny, meeny, miny, moe.” Side note, “first up to bat?” I make myself laugh, son. In any case, after Abraham was beaten to oblivion, good ol’ Daryl Dixon had enough and threw a punch at Negan. As retribution, Negan turned around and slapped the snot out of Glenn Rhee with his trusted bat. Now, that’s two deaths for the price of one, man. To make matters worse, Negan didn’t just clock Abraham and Glenn a couple of times. He definitely kept fucking hitting them until their skulls dissipated. It was complete and utter overkill, bro.

Now, just when we all thought Negan was done, he decided to kidnap Rick, drive to a foggy field and make Rick find his axe is a sea of walkers. Taking it even further, he then brought Rick back to the group, had his men put guns to everyone’s heads and told Rick he’d kill them all if he didn’t cut Carl Grimes‘ arm off. Who thinks of this shit, man?! Who thinks of trying to make a dude cut off the arm of his own son? Hell nah, man! This episode was an hour of pure fucking terror, bro! I was literally standing up in my house for most of it, son. On the real, the last time I couldn’t sit during a television show was the “Ozymandias” episode of Breaking Bad. Side note, shout-out to Breaking Bad, another AMC program and the greatest show of the all-time. Fight me. In any case, Negan did all of this just to break Rick’s spirit. While I’m a firm believer that Rick will eventually figure out a way to get even, as of right now, it’s not looking good for the boy, son. At the moment, he’s essentially Negan’s bitch.

All in all, last night’s episode was BY FAR the wildest in TWD’s history. Yeah, we’ve seen countless murders, cannibalism and near rape on this program, but in terms of pure emotional abuse, this takes the cake, man. Not to mention, Abraham’s and Glenn’s brain matter are all over the gravel, son. Ultimately, while the show can appear to be redundant at times, this season opener certainly woke me up, bro. The rest of this season is about to go down! Can’t wait! Good day.