The Government Is Gonna Bust A Cap In Everyone At Area 51

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, a part of me wants to be down with the Area 51 shenanigans. But, there’s nooooo way the government is going to allow a bunch of random hooligans on that land, man. I mean, I know we’re all joking here, but I’m sure there are folks who are really willing to test fate, fam. All I know is, the authorities would not hesitate to bust a cap in anyone who tries to infiltrate Area 51.

Ok, for those who missed it, there’s a Facebook event that’s got everyone’s attention. Now, as of today, 1.2 million people have joined the “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us” group. Moving on, as I’m sure folks can deduce, the goal of this group is to run up in Lincoln County, Nevada and “see them aliens.” Anyway, all of the tomfoolery is supposed to take place on September 20th from 3 AM to 6 AM.

Now, this shit is hilarious for a few reasons, bruh. First, it addresses a topic that a lot of people, myself included, are interested in. Real talk, I want to know what’s going on in that place, son. Shit, I’m a conspiracy theorist at heart and I would LOVE to get a glimpse of all of the top secret shit happening behind those walls. However, I’m also aware of the lengths that the United States government would go to prevent any such chaos, man. Hell, just take a look at the Air Force‘s rebuttal to this situation, fam.

Listen, in response to the proposed raid, Laura McAndrews, a spokeswoman for the Air Force, released the following statement: “Area 51 is an open training range for the U.S. Air Force, and we would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces. The U.S. Air Force always stands ready to protect America and its assets.” Bruh, that literally has to be the most eloquent way of saying “if you come near this bitch, we’re putting holes in all of you motherfuckers.” Look, I can read between the lines, son.

In the end, I have some advice for the folks out there: keep y’all asses away from Area 51. Ultimately, I want to know what’s popping off in there too. However, I’m not trying to test the machinery of the U.S. military, man. By and by, shit sounds good on paper until we’re all looking down the barrel of a gun made with alien technology. At the end of the day, I’m just gonna keep my Black ass in the crib, fam. That is all. LC out.

I’m Convinced That Kawhi Leonard Isn’t A Person Person

Look, I’m going to keep this post short today, son. Frankly, I’m just here to laugh at Kawhi Leonard‘s laugh, man. I mean, a number of us have long speculated about Leonard’s personality, fam. Namely, because the guy doesn’t say shit, bruh! With all of that being said, his NBA Media Day press conference was fucking hilarious, folks! On God, I’m thoroughly convinced that Leonard is not a real human being, brethren. All I know is, that dude is either an alien or a functioning demonstration of artificial intelligence.

Ok, before I continue, I want everyone to watch this Instagram clip, son. Listen, never in the history of ever have I heard a “person” laugh like that, man. On the real, that awkward chuckle is so funny that I’m dying as I write this, fam. Like, there’s so much to take from that entire clip, bruh. First, no “fun guy” has ever described himself as a fun guy. Shit, I can’t imagine going to any social functions with a dude who’s face barely moves, folks. Hell, to that end, watch this YouTube video from his time with the San Antonio Spurs. For God’s sake, the man laughed and his face didn’t budge an inch, people! I swear, he’s a fucking robot!

In the end, I’m just here for the jokes, son. Look, whether he means to be or not, Kawhi Leonard is a hilarious fucking dude, man. Ultimately, his personality is either going to be endearing or a nightmare for the Toronto Raptors. Either way, I’m here for the shenanigans, fam. That is all. LC out.