I Don’t Care If ‘The Irishman’ Is True

Disclaimer: Spoilers galore, son. Act accordingly.

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, The Irishman is way too long of a movie for me to really review. I mean, I could literally spend all day detailing every single scene, man. Instead, I’m just here to give people their props, fam. All I can say is, Martin Scorsese, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino and Joe Pesci killed this fucking movie, bruh.

Ok, for those who don’t pay attention to anything, Scorsese just released his latest masterpiece. Now, the film, distributed by Netflix, had a limited release in theaters. Side note, movie studios were fucking pissed about this, but we’ll save that for another time. In any case, the movie details the life of Frank Sheeran (The Irishman) and his long-standing friendship with Jimmy Hoffa. This is notable because, in real life on his death bed, Sheeran confessed to murdering Hoffa.

Now, to be fair, my synopsis is a gross oversimplification of the plot, son. Frankly, to get all of the nuances of the film, folks just need to watch it for themselves, man. The fact is, all of the actors do the damn thing, but in different ways. Shit, Pacino is great playing the over-the-top Hoffa. Pesci is great playing the understated Russell Bufalino. De Niro is great playing the conflicted Sheeran. Hell, even Sebastian Maniscalco is great playing the overzealous Joe Gallo. All in all, every single actor holds it down, fam.

Keeping it a buck, my only gripe with the film is Anna Paquin‘s character, Peggy Sheeran. Honestly, she has a holier-than-thou attitude that irks the fuck out of me, bruh. Like, it makes no sense that Peggy loves Hoffa but hates her dad, Frank. For God‘s sake, they’re part of the same fucking business, son. Ok, yes, Frank is a murderer. But, that’s the exact reason that him and Hoffa get into business in the first place, man. The truth is, Hoffa and Sheeran are part of the same mob circle, fam. So, how can Peggy judge Frank for it and not Hoffa? Granted, Frank is deadass wrong for killing Hoffa, but Peggy hated Frank long before that. All I know is, her logic doesn’t make any fucking sense, people.

In the end, I’m advising everyone to go see the movie, son. Ultimately, Scorsese is still a top-notch filmmaker, man. On top of that, the trifecta of Pacino, De Niro and Pesci is as strong as ever, fam. By and by, it is super accurate that the film is long as hell. But, I never felt like it dragged, bruh. In addition, I don’t give a fuck if the story is factual or not. The way I see it, it’s a highly-enjoyable cinematic experience. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Don’t worry, Black people. I’ll review Queen & Slim as soon as I can get some freedom to go see it. The minutes seem to be scarce right now, son. Good day.

The Bronx Is Burning: Desus & Mero Edition

To be clear, I support damn near everyone who represents the Bronx. No one is even allowed to say slanderous things about Big Pun, Wesley Snipes or Aaron Hall in my presence. Going further, I’m still convinced Kerry Washington and I have a future together. Hell, even Benny Blanco from Carlito’s Way gets love from me, son. I mean, let’s be real, he got Al Pacino’s character ALL THE WAY out of the paint, man. In any case, I consider myself the mascot for my borough. With that being said, I feel a personal investment in the success of Desus Nice and The Kid Mero. So, everyone out there needs to do the right thing and support their new show on Viceland.

Now, for those who are unaware, Desus and Mero rose to prominence by telling jokes on Twitter. After roasting almost every living human being on their respective timelines, they started to get shine on such platforms as Complex and MTV2. In addition, they also host a hilarious weekly podcast, The Bodega Boys, in conjunction with Red Bull. I mean, c’mon son, on what other podcast are the hosts going to say things like “fanut the choach” with legit sincerity? Where else in the world are we going to get frequent updates on the price of a kilo of cocaine? We all need to celebrate “the art” while it’s in front of us, son. We are all not worthy.

Ultimately, like I said before, I’m just happy to see folks from the Bronx winning. So, the only point that needs to be made is the fact their show on Viceland, Desus & Mero, airs every night at 11PM EST. Be good people and help minorities prosper, man. Shit, at the rate this country is deteriorating, Black and Brown people might only have a few more months left before we have to vacate America. Good day.