Julia Roberts Ain’t Nobody’s Harriet Tubman

So, on today’s episode of Folks Be Doing The Cotdamn Most, we get one of the most laughable stories I’ve ever heard. Look, I couldn’t make this story up if I tried, son. Now, according to Gregory Allen Howard, the screenwriter for Kasi LemmonsHarriet, a studio executive once wanted Julia Roberts to play Harriet Tubman. *Sigh* Let me say that again, man. Once upon a time, a Hollywood exec wanted Roberts, a whole White woman, to play one of this country’s most-notable African-Americans. All I know is, I’m at a complete loss for words, fam.

Ok, for those who are unaware, a Harriet Tubman movie has been on the docket since the early 1990s. Now, back in 1994, Howard was already tasked to write the film’s screenplay. In any case, during a meeting about the movie, this unnamed exec floated the idea of getting Roberts to play Tubman. Moving on, when everyone in their right mind said “homie, you wilin’,” the aforementioned exec replied “it was so long ago, no one is going to know the difference.”

Now, I don’t even know where to begin with this story, bruh. I mean, I can’t even express in words how preposterous that idea was, son. Listen, Hollywood has SUCH a lack-of-faith in Black stories that they’ll do ANYTHING to whitewash it, man. Fam, on what planet is it cool to have a White woman play a Black woman who freed other Black people from slavery?! Like, what? What?! All I can say is, I’ll be down for a White Harriet if they’ll be down for a Black Elvis with dreads and a spliff. So, who’s ready for the shits now, bruh?

In the end, I’m a little ashamed of myself, son. Ultimately, I’m surprised that I can still be surprised by some of the fuckity-mcfuckery that happens in this country, man. By and by, situations like this are why I’m a firm believer in minorities controlling our own stories. At the end of the day, we can’t depend on outsiders to do right by us, fam. The way I see it, allies are ALWAYS great. But, we also need to determine our own destinies. That is all. LC out.

Don’t Use ASAP Rocky For Politics

*Sigh* We live in a weird fucking time, son. Like, if we’re being honest, any and every situation can and will be politicized. I mean, just take a look at the behind-the-scenes tomfoolery between SwedenASAP Rocky and Donald Trump. The way I see it, a serious situation is being used to gain points in the political landscape. All in all, the whole scenario is fucking ridiculous, man.

Ok, for those who are unaware, Rocky is in some shit, fam. Now, earlier in July, Rocky was arrested for assaulting Mustafa Jafari in Stockholm. Moving on, the Swedish government is making it seem like Rocky and company just started a brawl and beat up innocent people. In reality, based on video footage, it appears that Jafari was following and harassing Rocky before his entourage put the beats on Jafari. In that case, it seems like Jafari might’ve deserved it, bruh.

From that moment, there have been a lot of conflicting reports about Rocky’s captivity. Shit, there have been rumors that he’s being held in inhumane conditions and debate over how much time he could potentially get. In addition, as a sign of solidarity, a number of musicians have refused to play shows in Sweden. Now, this leads us to Kanye West and Kim Kardashian.

So, the West family decided to reach out to Trump and see if he’d be able to release Rocky. Now, in customary fashion, Trump hit up Twitter to tell Swedish authorities that they should free Rocky and focus on their own crime. In turn, Prime Minster Stefan Löfven politely told Trump to go fuck himself. With all of that being said, now the two leaders are having a public back and forth where Trump is telling Sweden that they “let our African American Community down in the United States.”

Fam, what the fuck is going on right now? Like, I have sooooo many conflicting thoughts about this entire ordeal. On one hand, I’ve previously been very critical about Rocky’s stances on race, politics and social issues. Real talk, I stand by everything I’ve said, brethren. However, I’m also a firm believer that a harasser deserves to get their ass kicked. So, Rocky has no business being locked up, son. Furthermore, it’s absolutely ridiculous that this is the stand that Trump decides to take. He regularly vilifies Black and Brown people in this country, but has the audacity to talk about another nation “letting us down.” For God‘s sake, what fucking world are we living in, man?

The fact is, Trump is only engaging in this situation for brownie points, fam (pun intended). Hell, if he were able to free Rocky, he’d just throw it in our face and ignore alllllllll of the other fuckity-fuck shit he does. All I know is, Rocky should absolutely be released, but he definitely doesn’t need to be used as a pawn in a vicious political game. Honestly, it’s absolutely gross that it’s even come to this point, bruh. Seriously, this country’s shenanigans never ceases to amaze me, son.

In the end, I’m just exhausted of the political trickery and positioning, man. Ultimately, a man’s freedom shouldn’t be used to further an image or an agenda, fam. By and by, I’d legitimately question the intelligence of anyone who doesn’t see the play here. At the end of the day, the prospect of freeing one man won’t undo all of the regular mashugana that Trump engages in, bruh. That is all. LC out.

I’m Done With Kanye West

That’s it. I’m done, man. I’m over Kanye West and his constant brand of bullshit. As a DIEHARD fan, I’ve tried and tried and tried to look past his frequent barrage of nonsense. However; enough is enough, son! During his ten millionth rant last night in San Jose, Kanye told concertgoers that not only did he forgo voting, but if he did, he would’ve voted for Donald Trump. All I know is, for me, the artist I’ve supported all of these years is officially gone. Get this man the fuck outta here, son!

*Sigh* Where do I even start, man? So, during his recent concert, Kanye went on one of his customary rants and spoke about the recent presidential election. First, he emphasized the fact he didn’t vote. This is problem number one. For a man who once rhymed that his mother was arrested for a sit-in “at the tender age of six,” his decision to eschew voting is an absolute slap in her face. Side note, Rest In Peace to Donda West.

Now, the same man who spent countless songs on The College Dropout and Late Registration addressing systemic issues decided to avoid using his voice for something other than promoting clothes with holes in them. Honestly, it’s fucking disgusting, man. In my eyes, I don’t want to hear anyone talk about solving societal ills if they don’t engage with the individuals who govern our cities and states. That same message applies to Colin Kaepernick and his non-voting ass too!

Moving on, just when we thought that hot take was the extent of his fuckery, he then chose to offer up praise to our orange-faced President-elect. According to Kanye, he admires Trump’s “non-political” way of speaking and considers it a “futuristic” form of communication. In addition, he talked about how people just assumed he was a Democrat and how his friends advised him not to mention the fact he loved Trump’s “approach” to the debates.

Gosh, Kanye, what’s wrong with us, huh? Of COURSE a man who once proclaimed that George W. Bush didn’t care about Black people would embrace a man who’s shitted on us, Hispanics, Muslims, women and disabled people. Of COURSE a man who wrote songs like “All Falls Down” and “Crack Music” would openly support a divisive human being who used his hometown of Chicago as an example of why we need more “law and order.” We must be the crazy ones, right?

I mean, is this clown fucking serious, man?! Has he been a Kardashian for that long now? Has he forgotten that even if he’s in a Benz, he’s still a “nigga in a coupe”? Who the fuck is this man now?! I no longer see ANY shades of the dude who was once a champion of the people. I guess he’s too rich now to remember where he came from. That’s fine, because White America can have him now. I completely wash my hands of his persistent coonery.

In the end, I’m over all of the fuck shit, man. All of it! I have nothing else to say today. Fuck Kanye West, son! Fuck ’em! Good day.

Thank You, America

Thank you, America. Thank you for hating Hispanics. Thank you for hating Muslims. Thank you for hating Black people. Thank you for hating women. Thank you for hating the LGBTQ community. Thank you for hating disabled people. Thank you for hating every group of individuals Donald Trump has shitted on over the course of this election. America, you have emphatically shown us what type of despicable country you are and what you actually value: bigotry across all platforms. Bravo, America! Fucking bravo!

At this point, I could write two sentences or I could write an entire dissertation. I’m truly fucking confused by what happened last night. People, please tell me I’m dreaming. Please tell me Trump isn’t really the next president of our country. Please tell me we didn’t let an overwhelming wave of hate, irrational fear and stupidity guide the future of our nation. Look, I’m absolutely APPALLED by the people of this country. I just hope we’re all ready for a strong presence of racism, sexism, xenophobia, religious persecution and tax breaks for the rich. We’ve already seen bigots become way more emboldened as Trump gained power, and with him going to the Oval Office, I don’t see that weakening any time soon. When we add up a Republican presidency, Senate, House, and most likely, Supreme Court, that equals four years of unadulterated HELL!

In the end, I have nothing else to say, son. Nothing at all, man. All I know is, I’m not writing shit for the rest of this week, possibly longer. I’m done. Fucking done here. As my fiancée always says, “this country isn’t for us.” In this case, the “us” is literally EVERY disenfranchised group. Goodbye.

P.S. I don’t want to hear SHIT from anyone who didn’t vote or voted for a third-party candidate. They, along with a higher turnout of uneducated White voters, allowed this nonsense to happen. Thanks for absolutely nothing, y’all.