Donald Trump Didn’t Grab ‘Em By The P*ssy?

So, I’m going to be real, son. I’m not sure if Donald Trump really lives in an alternate universe or if he actually thinks we’re all that stupid, man. Like, at this point, denying the validity of his “grab ’em by the pussy” comments is ludicrous, fam. I mean, the man already apologized for his words back in 2016! Why would someone apologize for something they didn’t do? The answer is, they wouldn’t. All in all, regardless of Trump’s newfound skepticism, we’ve all heard him advocate for sexual assault on that Access Hollywood tape.

Ok, on the real, there’s isn’t much to say on this topic, bruh. As of now, I’m sure the majority of us have listened to his despicable comments on that recording. We already know about him telling Billy Bush that he can basically do anything he wants to women because he’s famous. Real talk, these are FACTS, son. Now, I know Trump and his hive don’t believe in facts, but there is audible evidence of this man’s fuckery. With that being said, it’s fucking BAFFLING that he would try to deny this now. ESPECIALLY after already apologizing for it. I mean, he does know that we have video of his repentance too, right? Good Lord, what planet is this man on, fam?! Seriously!

In the end, nothing else needs to be said here. Trump is an advocate for sexual assault and he supports people who are advocates for sexual assault. Ultimately, there’s no other way to explain his unwavering loyalty to Roy Moore, bruh. By and by, birds of a feather flock together, son. The sad part is, even after previously copping to his tomfoolery, I guarantee a large percentage of his supporters will believe his new story. Once again, this is why I call them stupid and feel nothing about, man. It just is what it is, fam. LC out.

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Et Tu, Dave Chappelle?

Look, I’m a Dave Chappelle fanatic, son. Like, an absolute Stan, man. In my opinion, he’s the greatest comedian of all time and created the greatest sketch show ever. Now, with all of that being said, all of my hero worship doesn’t mean he can’t get this work too, son. After hearing his thoughts on Hillary ClintonDonald Trump, women’s rights and the LGBTQ community, I’m forced to take the Gawd to task for the fuckity-fuck shit he said. *Sigh* With great pain in my heart, let’s do this, man.

So, over the weekend, Chappelle did a number of surprise shows at The Cutting Room here in New York. Now, while he’s been known to incorporate social and political musings in his material, I don’t think his Friday audience was prepared for his latest batch of hot takes.

To begin, let’s talk about Trump’s “grab them by the pussy” scandal. Apparently, to Chappelle, while Trump’s words were “gross,” he thought the idea of Clinton’s camp possibly leaking the Access Hollywood tape was more egregious. In addition, he didn’t agree that Trump promoted sexual assault in his rhetoric. According to Chappelle’s logic, the phrase “they let you do it” implies consent. I guess we’re just ignoring the fact that Trump literally said he’ll flat out kiss AND grab women if he finds them attractive. Nowhere in his comments did he EVER state his advances were warranted. Shit, Chappelle must have been famous for too long because even he can’t seem to wrap his mind around the fact that physical actions can’t just be taken. If the woman didn’t co-sign beforehand, it’s a no-go, son. Plain and fucking simple, man. Also, even if Clinton did release the tape, who gives a fuck, man? Out of every group Trump has offended this election cycle, it would be poetic justice if he fell on the sword of his own words.

Now, while Chappelle’s political philosophies may have been bad enough, he decided to turn his attention to women and the LGTBQ community. It appears Dave has a problem with activists discussing the issues of these particular groups in front of Black people. In terms of disenfranchisement, racism is apparently top tier and everyone else’s struggle is secondary. Good fucking Lord, Dave! Look, man, I’m one of the main people speaking about racial injustice around here, but that shouldn’t come at the expense of someone else’s fight, son. What the fuck, Dave?! Black people have a raw fucking deal in this country, but so do American Indians, women, gay people, transgender people, etc. Shit, if we’re really being real here, this country favors straight White men. Everyone else is working to gain some type of equal footing. It’s a fucking shame that Chappelle is acting like he isn’t aware of this.

In the end, maybe Chappelle has been in Yellow Springs, Ohio for too long now. He’s becoming a cantankerous older gentleman and it’s a damn shame to watch, man. Now, maybe, hopefully, I’m blowing this entire thing out of proportion. All I know is, we can’t be out here losing more of our heroes, son. Get your shit together, Dave! Good day.

Donald Trump’s Guide To Getting Women

Now, let’s be real for a second, son. Of COURSE I’m talking about Donald Trump today. I mean, did anybody really think I was going to let his latest batch of tomfoolery slide? On the real, how can anyone who breathes air endorse this guy? How can anyone who breathes air BE this guy?! Every time I think it’s impossible to top the copious amounts of insanity he’s said, some new shit comes out. With that being said, let’s talk about Trump’s most recent philosophies about women.

Look, to start, I’m not going to spend too much time on last night’s debate. It was exactly what I thought it would be: a pure shitshow. Instead of being on the defensive, Trump came out swinging, launching a bunch of accusations at not only Hillary Clinton, but Bill Clinton as well. Even before the debate, Trump held a press conference with four women who claimed to either be sexually assaulted by the former president or wronged by Hillary. In any case, the debate devolved into one of the ugliest spectacles I’ve ever seen, which is exactly what Trump and company wanted.

So, why was Trump so desperate to create a distraction? Because of a video that surfaced over the weekend of an outrageous conversation he had with Billy Bush in 2005. While on the set of “Access Hollywood,” Trump was recorded speaking about how he approaches attractive women. Apparently, in his world, it’s perfectly ok to “just start kissing” women and “[grabbing] them by the pussy.” To him, these are appropriate actions because celebrities can essentially do whatever they want. Now, I don’t have to speculate about his mentality because he literally said “when you’re a star… you can do anything.” That’s actually a statement that came out of his mouth, son. Honestly, “flabbergasted” isn’t even a strong enough word to describe my reaction, man.

Now, as expected, all of the people who heard these remarks were as taken aback as I was. The outrage even extended to Trump’s own party. So far, he’s been condemned by Paul Ryan, Reince Priebus, Mitt Romney, John McCain, Jeb Bush and myriad of GOP faithful who were appalled by Trump’s words. In addition, a number of Republicans have even demanded that Trump drop out of the presidential race. However; we all know Trump would never do that. Quitting has never been the man’s style.

Moving on, according to him and his campaign, his comments were nothing more than “locker room talk.” Apparently, this is the way men talk behind closed doors. Come the fuck on, son! Last time I checked, I’ve been a man my entire life and I’ve NEVER participated in a conversation like this! When it comes to the men I know, we talk about what we would do if we had the opportunity to get down with a chick. But we NEVER endorse sexual assault, man! Nowhere in Trump’s statements did he speak about consent. In actuality, he said he does things because he knows he can get away with them. Bruh, that’s textbook rape. At this point, anyone who disagrees is advocating violence against women. Plain and simple. On the real, the same men who consider this “locker room talk” are probably the same men who sympathize with Brock Turner, Austin Wilkerson and David Becker.

In the end, the scariest part of this is, after last night’s debate, Trump’s constituents will probably still continue to support him. Based on some early reviews of his performance, he’s been getting positive feedback for seemingly pushing Hillary against the ropes. All of this proves that morals are an obsolete idea. Party unity is more important to everyone than having an actual belief system. With that being said, voting is still vital. I know I’ve said that a number of times on this site, but I can’t stress this enough, man. This November‘s election is of the utmost importance. Everyone needs to use their voice. Good day.

P.S. Does anyone else find it sexist that Bill’s alleged misconduct is always brought up to smite Hillary? SHE’S the one running for president right now, not Bill! If the jabs have nothing to do with her directly, keep them out of this race. She shouldn’t have to suffer for what her husband may or may not have done. That is all.