Alabama & Georgia Have Lost Their Abortion-Hating Minds

So, for the life of me, I’ll never understand why our legislative entities are so hell bent on policing a woman’s body. Like, they’ll gladly cut access to Planned Parenthood and various social programs, but a woman better not DARE make a decision about what to do with her own uterus. All I can say is, Georgia and Alabama have lost their cotdamn minds, son. The truth is, it’s a dangerous fucking time to be a woman in America, man.

Ok, for those who missed it, both Georgia and Alabama have passed some frightening legislation on abortion. Now, let’s start with Georgia, fam. To begin, the state’s “fetal heartbeat” law will make it illegal for a woman to get an abortion after six weeks. Here’s the thing: a lot of women don’t even know they’re pregnant at the six-week mark. Meaning, this law doesn’t give women a chance to make an informed decision, bruh. Essentially, this is as close to an abortion ban that Georgia could pass, son.

In addition, this law gives the authorities the right to investigate a woman who has miscarried. Wait, let me say that again, man. Listen, if a woman has a miscarriage, the fucking police will now have the jurisdiction to investigate her. Like, that’s fucking insane, fam! Women are literally being turned into criminals for their own bodies, bruh. Honestly, I’m fucking scared for them, son.

Now, let’s talk about Alabama. So, unlike Georgia, Alabama just flat out said that women can’t have abortions. Well, unless there’s a “health risk.” To make matters worse, a few lawmakers tried to add exceptions for rape and incest and those provisions were shot down, man. So, let me get this straight, fam. A woman could literally be sexually assaulted, but held in violation of the law for not wanting to have the baby. My God, women are becoming prisoners to their own fucking bodies, fam. Frankly, I legit don’t know what else to say, bruh.

In the end, I see where all of this is going, son. Real talk, the proponents in Alabama are banking on this law reaching the Supreme Court, man. Ultimately, they’re trying to get Roe v. Wade overturned. The sad part is, at the rate things are going right now, that shit might actually happen, fam. At the end of the day, I honestly hope I’m wrong, bruh. All I know is, we can’t rest on our laurels, brethren. The fight is here and every voice is needed. That is all. LC out.

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Let’s All Laugh At Tomi Lahren

Well, well, well, what do we have here, son? Tomi Lahren actually got herself suspended by Glenn Beck and TheBlaze. The crazy thing is, she got put on ice for the least likely comment. So, out of all of the stooooooooopid things this woman has said, her show got temporarily pulled for being pro-choice on abortion rights? Ain’t that about a bitch, bruh? Now, maybe I’m petty, but I got a good chuckle out of this story, son. After eons of regurgitating stale conservative ideals, Lahren got suspended for actually having a thought of her own. Welp, with all of that being said, I think today is a good day to make fun of Tomi Lahren.

So, Lahren went on The View this past Friday and shared some of her useless worldly analysis. Now, while speaking about women’s rights, she stated that she is pro-choice because of her desire for “limited government.” Meaning, she believes the government shouldn’t be allowed to tell women what to do with their bodies. Needless to say, that didn’t go over well with her conservative base, son. I mean, pro-life is one of the tenants of right-wing ideology, man.

For example, when Rick Santorum ran for president, he flatly said that rape victims shouldn’t be allowed to have abortions. In his words, the baby would be a “gift from God.” Shit, if that ain’t an extreme belief, then I don’t know what is, bruh. On the real, too many grown ass men are fiercely invested in what women do with their own bodies. All in all, Lahren picked the wrong fight with the wrong group of irrational people.

Now, before I continue, I’d like everyone to keep one thing in mind. This woman isn’t pro-choice because she cares about her fellow women. In fact, she used the Republican template of “limited government” to support her beliefs. So, in actuality, she thought she was riding with her home team and it backfired. That’s hilarious because it’s so idiotic, son. She thought she had allies and her constituents were like “NOPE!” At this point, maybe if she had more real thoughts of her own, then she wouldn’t have to rely on half-cooked doctrines to survive. All I know is, she continuously showcases the fact that she has no idea what the fuck she’s talking about, man. *Sigh* Go home, Tomi, you’re drunk.

In the end, no one feels sorry for Lahren, man. People with common sense already couldn’t stand her and now she’s at odds with her own peers. Way to go, champ! Good luck trying to get back in the right-wing’s good graces. She’s going to have to go extra hard with the racism, sexism and xenophobia, son. All I can say is, I’m not looking forward to the nonsense, bruh. LC out.

P.S. I find it amazing that Lahren can compare Black Lives Matter to the Ku Klux Klan, but gets suspended for this. America is a wonderful place, isn’t it? Siiiiiiiiiiiike!