Rachel Maddow Just Wasted Our Time

Look, here at I Can’t Be Famous, the Internet thuggery doesn’t discriminate, son. Anybody can get this work anytime and any place. With that being said, I need to take Rachel Maddow to task today. Now, after securing a portion of Donald Trump‘s 2005 tax returns, she got everyone hyped to see what they contained. However; after watching her show last night, I was pissed, man! I mean, she essentially wasted everyone’s time! There was nothing revealed that was noteworthy, bruh. All in all, I know just as much today as I did before her “breaking news.” *Sigh* Thanks for nothing, Rachel!

So, before all of the hoopla last night, I was just chilling in my living room. My wife called me from the bedroom like “babe, Rachel Maddow has Trump’s tax returns! She’s going to expose them on her show!” Now, as anyone could imagine, I was very intrigued, son. Fast forward to 9PM, I parked myself in front of the television, waiting for the scoop. Five minutes passed. Then ten minutes passed. Then twenty minutes passed. I’m listening and listening until I finally realized that Maddow hadn’t said shit yet. After all of the hype, she really only had two pages of his 2005 tax return.

Now, let’s step back for a second. To be clear, people like me want to see Trump’s tax returns to see if he has any interests that could influence his presidency. I mean, there’s no secret that Trump and his staff have had frequent communication with various individuals from Russia. With that being said, the goal is to get a better understanding of what the possible connection might be. In any case, Maddow’s “big revelation” was nothing more than a smoke screen, man. She literally presented no new information that could be used to unravel this mystery.

Keeping it a buck, I don’t give a fuck about what Russian dude bought Trump’s house in 2004. I don’t give a fuck about the fact that he made $150 million in 2005. I don’t give a fuck about the fact that he paid $38 million in taxes. Ok, yes, he paid a lower percentage of taxes than the average American, but what wealthy person doesn’t? I mean, isn’t that what Democrats and Republicans have been fighting about since the beginning of time? In addition, didn’t Trump already call himself “smart” for benefiting from the tax code during a debate against Hillary Clinton? Look, Maddow was doing nothing but preaching to the choir. All in all, we, the people, are no closer to the truth, man. Ultimately, she was just doing the most for ratings.

In the end, MSNBC played themselves, bruh. All I know is, the next time that network has some “breaking news,” I’ll just wait for the recap, son. *Sigh* What a bunch of malarkey, man. LC out.

Will Floyd Mayweather & Conor McGregor Just Fight Already?

Ok, so, I’m already tired of the saga between Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor. At this point, I just need these two dudes to fight. On the real, I’m done with the verbal jabs, son. The next jabs they throw better be inside of a ring. As it stands, Mayweather has now publicly proclaimed he’s coming out of retirement to fight McGregor. If that’s really the case, then let’s get to it, bruh! Enough is enough, man.

Now, for those who missed it, Mayweather officially challenged McGregor this past Saturday. He stated that he’s looking to fight McGregor in June. Well, as long as McGregor signs the paperwork. In any case, all of that shit sounds good, but both of these guys are full of hot air right now. If McGregor really wants to prove that he can take out Mayweather, then he needs to stop paying so much attention to the money. I mean, the way I see it, even if he’s shortchanged in this fight, McGregor will probably make more money than he ever could with UFC. Sorry, Dana White, but it’s simply the truth.

In the end, it’s time to put up or shut up. I want to see the shitshow, man. All I know is, this better not be another Manny Pacquiao situation. I mean, we got that fight five years too late, bruh. Es no bueno, hijo. LC out.

So… Nicki Minaj Finally Responded To Remy Ma…

Welp, the beef between Remy Ma and Nicki Minaj got wack very quickly, didn’t it? Look, it started off with a bang when “ShEther” came out. However; every subsequent event after the release of that song has been trash. I mean, Nicki was galavanting all over the world like she wasn’t thinking about this, while Remy put out the uber-basura “Another One.” In addition, Remy hit the interview circuit, talking to anyone who would listen about her gripes with Nicki. *Sigh* I was hoping for more, son. I was hoping for a helluva lot more, man. With all of that being said, Nicki’s response on the newly-released “No Frauds” can’t save this feud, bruh. It’s already dead.

So, in the middle of the night, Nicki decided to drop a trio of records. She put out the aforementioned “No Frauds” with Drake and Lil Wayne, “Changed It” with another Wayne feature, and “Regret In Your Tears,” a Meek Mill takedown. All in all, I guess these songs make sense since pictures of the recently-reunited trio started circulating around social media. I mean, it’s all cool in theory, but none of these records move me, man. Now, in regards to Nicki’s replies on “No Frauds,” they were good enough to beat “Another One,” but definitely not “ShEther.”

Moving on, after listening to that record a few times, it’s evident that Nicki is responding directly to “Another One.” This further proves the point that Remy’s second diss track was a terrible idea. If she just left it at “ShEther,” I doubt Nicki would’ve ever responded. Remy let her back in the game with that corny ass follow-up record. Shiiiit, everyone on her team should be fired for letting her release that garbage. In any case, Nicki made a couple of references to record sales and plastic surgery, but nothing hit hard for me.

Ultimately, this battle was not what I envisioned, son. I won’t lie, man, I’m disappointed in both Remy Ma and Nicki Minaj. On the real, both of these women can actually rap, bruh. I just wished they brought bigger guns to the shootout. This whole shit ended up being a waste, man. *Sigh* LC out.

P.S. Did Nicki really drop a diss song with features on it? Did Nicki really drop a diss song where the hook is a “No Type” ripoff? Man, this shit is an obvious ploy for radio play. When she enlists Drake and Wayne, she doesn’t even have to have a good song. The record will sell based on the names only. Look, either battle for real or don’t, Nicki. I can’t stand the tomfoolery, son. That is all.

P.P.S. Nicki’s Instagram rant was harder than the damn music. Man, what part of the game is this? She must’ve learned about “Twitter fingers” from Meek. Good Lord, this is fucking corny, son! For the last time, numbers don’t fucking matter! KRS-One was a nobody when he took down MC Shan. 50 Cent was underground when he destroyed Ja Rule. The game is soooo fucked up, man. *Sigh* No mas.

I Shed Tears For Kalief Browder

Keeping it a buck, I rarely cry, son. Look, I’m not trying to sound macho when I say that, but it’s simply the truth. I didn’t cry when my sons were born and I didn’t cry when I got married. Tears just don’t seem to hit me very often, man. With all of that being said, I cried last night. I legit shed tears in the aftermath of watching Time: The Kalief Browder Story on Spike. At this point, I have so many thoughts that it’s actually hard for me to properly articulate myself. All I know is, when it comes to being Black in this country, any of us could be Kalief Browder.

Now, even though my life has been very different than Browder’s, there are several ways I feel connected to him. Despite being eight years younger than me, Browder and I are both Bronx kids. We both grew up under the tyranny of Rudy Giuliani, Ray Kelly and the stop-and-frisk era. We both knew what it was like to be harassed by police when we were just minding our own business. When I learned that a 14-year-old Browder caught a felony for joyriding in a bread truck, I immediately thought of all of the dumb shit I’ve done that I’ve never been busted for. It’s sad to say, but inner city life can be very homogeneous for the people in the community.

Moving on, the aforementioned felony is notable because it would ultimately lead to Browder’s downfall. After Roberto Bautista falsely accused a 16-year-old Browder of robbing him, the subsequent arrest ensured that Browder would have to go to jail. Even though he was innocent of the claim against him, he still ended up on Rikers Island. From there, Browder was consistently abused by his fellow inmates and the guards. During his three years in jail, he spent 800 of those days in solidarity confinement. Despite repeatedly asking for a trial, prosecutors only offered him plea deals that would make him serve 15 years in prison. Essentially, Browder was abused by every single facet of the criminal justice system.

To make matters worse, his mother couldn’t raise the $900 that would bail him out of jail. So, on top of being unfairly criminalized because he was Black, Browder also suffered because he was poor. The pain of his story is exacerbated by the fact that this type of injustice occurs often. To put it plainly, Browder wasn’t the first person to be destroyed by the law. Sadly, he won’t be the last one either.

On the real, even though I already knew Browder’s story, last night hit me hard. Honestly, all I could do was think about my two sons. Due to what I’ve accomplished thus far in life, the prospect of paying $900 for bail wouldn’t kill me. However; what about Browder’s mother, man? Why did she have to lose her son because of poverty? In addition, why are Black youth always treated like menaces? This is exactly why I’ll NEVER forgive Hillary Clinton for her “superpredators” comment. It’s that type of logic that makes it okay to bury our children in the prison industrial complex.

All in all, after writing this entire post, I still feel like I haven’t said anything. Ultimately, Browder killed himself because he couldn’t continue living through the pain. He couldn’t continue reliving all of the anguish and desperation. *Sigh* I don’t know what else to say here. LC out.

Long Live Dirk Nowitzki!

Ok, as a hardened New York Knicks fan, it’s hard for me to give outside players credit. For example, I’m fully aware of the fact that Michael Jordan is the greatest player of all-time. However; for all of the years he tormented my beloved team, I refuse to purchase any of his God-forsaken sneakers. That’s right, son! I’m a 31-year-old Black man and I’ve never owned a pair of Jordan’s. Growing up, if it wasn’t a pair of Timberland‘s or Uptown‘s, excuse me, Air Force 1‘s, then I wasn’t with it, man. In any case, regardless of what I’ve just said, I’ve always been a fan of Dirk Nowitzki. So, in response to him scoring 30,000 career points, I want to give this legend his just due.

Now, if I’m being honest, I really don’t know how it’s possible to dislike Dirk. I mean, since 1998, the dude has done nothing but produce. He’s literally one of the most consistent players in NBA history. His numbers may have taken a dip this year, but he was just averaging 18 PPG last year, son! Keep in mind, his career average is 22 PPG. Meaning, in his 18th year in the league, he was STILL close to maximum productivity. That’s fucking insane, man! In addition, after eclipsing 30,000 points, he joined Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Karl Malone, Kobe Bryant, Jordan and Wilt Chamberlain as one of six players to reach that milestone. Do I really need to say more, bruh?

All in all, Dirk is the man, son. We need to salute our legends while they’re still in our presence, man. So, shout-out to Dirk for being one of the greatest players to ever lace up a pair of sneakers. Shit, where would the Dallas Mavericks be without him? LC out.

P.S. Dirk is also married to a Black woman, so he’s automatically gucci in my book, son. That is all.

P.P.S. Now that I think about it, we should look at some highlights before we go. I mean, why the fuck not, son? Let’s do it!

Really, Ben Carson? Really?!

*Sigh* It’s a damn shame that Black people used to be proud of Ben Carson, man. We used to celebrate his achievements, read his books and listen to his speeches. However; that time is looooooong gone, son. Over the past two years, Carson has let his clown flag fly. I mean, running an abismal presidential campaign and sucking up to Donald Trump should’ve been bad enough, man. But, noooooooooo, he couldn’t stop there. Carson had to take it to a new level, bruh. Now, after hearing his revisionist history of slavery, I’m in favor of launching Carson into space, never to be seen or heard from again.

So, while speaking to his Housing and Urban Development employees, Carson, a Black man, referred to slaves as “immigrants.” Now, before I continue, why does Carson run this department again? Just because he grew up in a housing project? Shiiit, by that logic, I’m pretty sure a few people from the Boston Secor Houses in the Bronx can do a better job. In any case, immigrants? Immigrants, man?!? To make matters worse, this dude said that slaves worked harder for less, but dreamed of “prosperity and happiness” in America.

I… I truly don’t know where to start, son. This clown is a 65-year-old Black man who was born in the Midwest. How can he be THAT clueless about Black history?! Enslaved Africans didn’t come here willingly and they DAMN SURE weren’t worried about prosperity! They were worried about surviving. Countless slaves died in those ships across the Middle Passage. For the ones who made it, they lived through the worst atrocities known to man.

Whether it was the backbreaking work, the beatings, the rapes, the mental torture or the eradication of our identity, Black people have a horrid history along this ENTIRE hemisphere! Side note, can we stop the lie that Sally Hemings was Thomas Jefferson‘s mistress? She was his slave and a rape victim. Let’s not try to normalize their relationship. She was forced to bare his kids, man. Fuck anyone who tries to make this scenario romantic. Anyway, how DARE Carson liken our people to anyone who CHOSE to be here? He is a fucking disgrace to not only his race, but to humanity as a whole.

Ultimately, I have to stop writing now. I’m getting angrier and angrier with each word, man. All I know is, there’s been a concerted effort to diminish America’s dastardly treatment of Black people. In the end, it definitely doesn’t help when sellouts like Carson hold positions of power. LC out.

Don’t Fall For Donald Trump’s Ruse

Nah, son. No way. Go home. Get the fuck outta here. I’m not falling for the okie doke, bruh. I’m not going for the misdirection, man. On the real, I truly hope no one believes the gaffle here. Over the weekend, Donald Trump made insanely baseless accusations against Barack Obama. To be clear, this action was taken for one reason and one reason only: to distract from finding a link between Trump’s administration and Russia. It’s no coincidence that right as the Russia talk heats up, a new story is thrown against the wall. All I know is, it’ll take more than Twitter to fool me, son.

Now, before I continue, let me outline some FACTS. First, Michael Flynn, Trump’s former National Security Advisor, lied about being in contact with the Russian ambassador. For that move, he lost his job. Second, Jeff Sessions, Trump’s current Attorney General, ALSO lied about being in contact with the Russian ambassador. To make matters worse, Sessions told these fairy tales during his confirmation hearing. Meaning, he perjured himself. For that action, he has to recuse himself from any potential investigation between Trump and Russia. In addition, if any further dirt is discovered, then Sessions could also lose his job.

Moving on, let me outline some unfounded opinions. As it stands, Mark Levin is the man who started the rumor about Obama wiretapping Trump’s phones during the election. Now, for anyone who is unfamiliar with Levin, he’s a conservative radio host who has a documented history of saying wild shit about Obama. He’s long argued that Obama has initiated a “silent coup” within our government, enacting “martial law” through immigration, health care and law enforcement policies. In any case, Levin is the first person to claim that Obama was secretly monitoring Trump.

So, after Levin made his outrageous claims, the story ended up on Breitbart News. Side note, c’mon son, is anyone else seeing a pattern here? Once again, Steve Bannon’s repugnant ass website has dug its claws into the bullshit. Anyway, after seeing the tomfoolery on Breitbart, Trump fired off a series of tweets alleging that Obama tapped his phones during the campaign trail. Now, Trump wants an investigation into Obama’s mythical and fictitious deeds.

Ok, I have questions, son. First, if Trump has proof, then why does he need an investigation? Why doesn’t he just reveal the evidence he already has? Ohhhh, that’s because THERE IS NO EVIDENCE, MAN! This tactic is nothing more than a ruse to get people talking about this instead of Russia. The fucked up thing is, it’s working, son. Ever since Trump’s tweets, this story has been the topic of conversation on the news. Trump has successfully shifted the focus of both the public and the media. If I wasn’t so infuriated by the obvious ploy, I’d be impressed, man.

In the end, let’s cut the malarkey, son. I don’t want to hear about wiretaps and I don’t want to hear about leaks. Until the story is resolved, let’s find out what’s really good between Trump’s administration and Russia. If everything is aboveboard, then why is Trump’s staff constantly lying about speaking with Russian dignitaries? I mean, fuck conjecture, man. We know for a fact that people in this current regime have been less than truthful to the American public. At this point, I’m tired of the back and forth, man. I just want to know the truth… about everything. LC out.

P.S. FBI Director James Comey has already asked the Department of Justice to refute Trump’s claims. I find it very odd that they haven’t done so yet. The idiocy in our government is simply staggering, man. That is all.