Roddy Ricch Got Justin Bieber Looking Goofy

So, before I even begin, let me just say that “The Box” by Roddy Ricch is my SHIT, son. I mean, from the Justin Timberlake/Ciara sample to the “eee ooo” to the idea of Cash App‘ing a chick for soul removal, the entire record works, man. With that being said, I’m super glad that Roddy kept Justin Bieber from going #1, fam. All in all, the goofy shit has to stop, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Bieber also released some new music. Now, after a temporary break, Bieber came back to the scene with this “Yummy” record. From there, he gave his fans a bunch of instructions on how to make the song go #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. Hell, fans had to download some shit, let it play all night, sacrifice a chicken AND solve for X, son. The point is, there was NOTHING organic about how Bieber was trying to play the game, man.

Now, to be fair, Bieber didn’t invent this strategy, fam. Shit, for a few albums now, I’ve seen Chris Brown do the same thing, bruh. However, I thought it was doofy when he did it too. Like, I understand that this is the music business and it’s a numbers-driven racket, but c’mon son. Real talk, if the record is that dope, the fans will flock to it, brethren. I mean, that’s EXACTLY what happened with Roddy Ricch. WE loved the record and that’s why it’s a hit right now, folks. Frankly, it’s hilarious that Bieber did all of this work just to come in second, people.

The fact of the matter is, Roddy put out a better song and the masses championed it. Side note, I’m 34 years old and had my first taste of vagina in 1997. All I know is, I’ve NEVER called it “that yummy.” Who the fuck did Bieber make that song for, son? People who’ve never had box themselves (pun intended)? Anyway, I appreciated the fact that Roddy shaded Bieber by telling fans to go stream “Yummy.” The fact is, Bieber was CLEARLY salty that his algorithm of steps didn’t work, man.

In the end, I wouldn’t be sad if I never heard “Yummy” again. But, I’m legitimately playing “The Box” as I write this, fam. Ultimately, the fans beat the algorithm, bruh. By and by, Bieber should just worry about making a better song and not trying to outsmart the system. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Despite the tone of this post, I actually fucks with some of Bieber’s music, son. On the real, both Journals and Purpose have bangers on them. Keeping it a buck, “Yummy” just wasn’t it, man. It happens, fam. Just go back to the drawing board and come out with some heat, bruh. Good day.

I Understand Will Smith’s Beef With Tupac

So, to cut to the chase, I understand Will Smith, son. I mean, if my wife was as close to another dude as Jada Pinkett Smith was to Tupac Shakur, I’d have a couple of eyebrows raised too. With that being said, it was pretty dope for Smith to show that level of transparency, man. All in all, I wonder how everyone else would REALLY react if they were in his shoes. The way I see it, I feel like a lot of people would’ve wanted to engage in some fisticuffs, fam.

Ok, for those who missed it, Smith and Martin Lawrence are currently doing a press run for their new movie, Bad Boys for Life. Now, during a sit-down with Power 105.1‘s The Breakfast Club, Charlamagne Tha God asked Smith about his wife’s relationship with Shakur. To be more specific, he asked Smith if he was ever jealous of Jada’s friendship with Tupac. In response, Smith said “fuck yeah.” Taking it a step further, Smith admitted that despite the fact that Jada and Shakur weren’t physical, he was insecure about the love that they had for each other. In fact, he stated that he could never bring himself to be cool with Tupac because he couldn’t handle the bond between the two of them.

Now, look, I try my best to be a progressive dude, but fuck all that, bruh. Ok, yes, Jada and Tupac apparently never had sex with each other. However, that wasn’t for a lack of trying, son. Real talk, Jada already copped to the fact that her and Tupac kissed before. Yeah, she also said that they didn’t have any “sexual chemistry,” but I’m not rolling, man. Listen, I just have a hard time believing that they were as platonic as Jada makes it seem, fam. In my eyes, they were probably one drunken night away from rocking each other’s bells, bruh.

To be clear, I wholeheartedly believe that men and women can just be friends. On the real, I’m friends with a good number of women that I would never touch, son. Side note, that used to be a source of contention between my wife and I early in our relationship. Frankly, she struggled to believe that I wasn’t just trying to smash everyone. But, alas, no lines have been crossed, man. Anyway, if Jada and Tupac ever saw one another in the right light, even for a second, Will would be a distant fucking memory, fam. So, I completely understand his hesitation to get close to Tupac.

In the end, I’m sure there are people out there who will disagree with me, bruh. Ultimately, we’ll never know how that story would’ve turned out, son. By and by, maybe things were exactly like Jada said and there would’ve been no issue. Then again, maybe Tupac would’ve cashed in on their love and taken Jada from the “soft rapper.” At the end of the day, my Spidey-Sense says that Smith was right for keeping Tupac at arms-length, man. Shit, based on the way that he was wilin’ back then, who knows what Shakur might’ve done, fam. That is all. LC out.

‘Power’ Recap: Paz Is The Dumbest Motherf*cker Ever

Disclaimer: I’m sure everybody understands how spoilers work, son. Act accordingly.

So, despite the fact that I’ve seen every single episode of Power, I believe that I’ve only written about the show twice. Side bar, in both cases, I was busy cursing out Tariq St. Patrick. In any case, last night’s episode was so preposterous, I felt obligated to talk about it, son. With that being said, let’s get into all of Paz Valdes‘ unscrupulous shenanigans.

Ok, before I even continue, let me make one thing clear, man. Real talk, NOBODY asked for a Paz Valdes episode, fam. Like, who gives a flying fuckity-fuck about Angela Valdes‘ sister, bruh? Shit, I barely gave a fuck about Angela, son. So, why would the team at Starz dedicate an entire hour to this doof of a woman? All I know is, NOTHING she does in this episode makes sense, people. So, let’s talk about some of her tomfoolery.

To begin, despite the fact that EVERY law enforcement agency has advised her that James St. Patrick didn’t kill Angela, Paz is still on a kamikaze mission. Now, since she’s hell-bent on bringing Ghost down, she makes several idiotic moves. First, she goes to Ghost‘s club and tries to get him to confess on tape. When that doesn’t work, she turns over incriminating evidence against her sister with the hope that it’ll bring down Ghost too. When that doesn’t work, she tries to convince Tommy Egan to kill Ghost, which is hilarious because Egan is the one who ACTUALLY killed Angela. Finally, after ensuring that her family will never get Angela’s pension, Paz turns down the money left in Ghost’s will. Meaning, her son and her father will continue to suffer under the weight of poverty.

Furthermore, the believability of this show continues to be nonexistent, man. Am I really supposed to believe that Paz would be able to sneak a gun into Ghost’s club? Especially since he’s running for Lieutenant Governor of New York? Man, if y’all don’t knock it the fuck off, fam. Keeping it a buck, Power stopped being realistic after Kanan Stark miraculously made it out of a burning building. Since then, the dialogue has been trash and the plot has been ridiculous. The truth is, I’m only watching the show because I need to finish what I started, bruh. At this point, I’m too far in to stop now, brethren. Side note, there’s a sexual pun in there, but I’ll just leave that in the air.

In the end, miss me with the Paz Valdes stupidity. Ultimately, no one needed this episode, son. By and by, Angela wasn’t as innocent as Paz likes to think she was. At the end of the day, Angela was a willing participant in Ghost’s nefarious activities. So, she got herself in the middle of some shit she had no business being in. From there, the streets did what the streets do, man. All I can say is, good riddance to the entire Valdes family, fam. That is all. LC out.

A Podcast That I Did With Randi B.

So, I’m going to try and keep this post short today, son. Now, I know that I say that a lot, but I mean it, man. Well, I guess. In any case, I just want to let everybody in on that new new, fam. With that being said, my brethren Randi B. has started a new podcast. In addition, she was gracious enough to let me get in on the first episode, bruh. All in all, what else do folks need to know?

Ok, as a quick background, Randi’s podcast, Conversations with Randi B., is available on Anchor and Spotify. Now, on this first episode, Randi and I recapped the 2010s. We talked about everything from Barack Obama/Donald Trump to social media to #MeToo to Black Lives Matter to Prince/Michael Jackson/Whitney Houston. Needless to say, we covered a lot of ground in 30 minutes, son.

In the end, there’s nothing else to say, man. Ultimately, I want everyone to go out there and support the movement, fam. By and by, folks can find links to the podcast below. Give it a listen, give us some feedback and let’s get the proceedings proceeding, brethren. That is all. LC out.

Tyler Perry: Work Ethic vs. Quality

So, I won’t lie, son. Real talk, I’m going to be talking out of both sides of my mouth in this post, man. On one hand, I respect the fuck out of Tyler Perry‘s success, fam. I mean, I tried to make that perfectly clear in my previous post about his production studio. Look, I’m in absolute awe of what this man has been able to accomplish, bruh. The way I see it, we all need to applaud a Black man who has been able to carve his place into Hollywood. On the other hand, I’ve always found his writing underwhelming as shit, bruh. With that being said, he might need to employ some writers, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, Perry posted an interesting video on Twitter the other day. Now, in the 35-second clip, Perry showed his audience stacks of screenplays from his MANY shows. In addition, he highlighted the fact that he doesn’t have a writer’s room and is the sole creator of all of his content. Moving on, the purpose of the video was to let people know that his work ethic was/is strong.

Now, there is NO way that I can argue with that man’s hustle, son. Keeping it a buck, it’s super impressive that he was able to get so much done in 2019. But, I also have a completely different outlook on this situation, man. Shit, as I said in the first paragraph, Tyler Perry is not that good of a writer, fam. Look, I can’t even count the number of times that I’ve cringed during a movie or a television show from that guy. The truth is, I always end up supporting because I want him to keep breaking barriers in Tinseltown. However, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like he makes prolific material, bruh.

With all of that being said, I TRULY believe that Perry would benefit from having other scribes in the room. Hell, he’s currently writing a show called Sistas on BET. For reference, the show is about how Black women work, love and live in Atlanta. Now, am I supposed to believe that Tyler Perry is the fucking expert on Black women matters? Like, he really doesn’t think that having at least ONE Black woman in the room would be beneficial? Come the fuck on, son. Yes, his work ethic is admirable, but that also sounds like an ego trip, man.

Also, as I’ve mentioned before, he has an entire production studio in Atlanta. I can guarantee that there are TONS of Black writers who would love to get down on some of his projects. So, why not just employ them, fam? Why not give them a chance to offer some different perspectives? The way I see it, working with others would be a win-win, bruh. First, his questionable writing would probably improve AND he would be giving newcomers a shot at acclaim. All in all, I don’t see how this would be a bad idea, folks.

In the end, I don’t want this to seem like I’m hating, son. If anything, I’m trying to help Perry win, man. Then again, as successful as he is, my opinion probably doesn’t fucking matter, fam. But, as a consumer, I’ve NEVER been satisfied with any of Perry’s work. By and by, based on the fact that he does EVERYTHING himself, I can see why, bruh. At the end of the day, there’s nothing wrong with getting some help, brethren. That is all. LC out.

Whose Mans Is Chet Hanks?

So, before I even begin this post, I’d like to give everyone some background on my upbringing. Now, I’m a first-generation American whose mother was born in Barbados and whose father was born in St. Vincent. Furthermore, I have extended family members from Jamaica, Trinidad, Grenada, Antigua, you name it. In addition, I’m married to a woman whose entire family is from Nevis. Meaning, I’m as Caribbean as they come, son. With all of that being said, what in the entire fuck was Chet Hanks doing at the Golden Globes, fam?

Ok, for those who missed it, Chet’s father, the incomparable Tom Hanks, was being presented a lifetime achievement award at this year’s Golden Globes. Needless to say, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Chet was there. However, his appearance on the red carpet was thoroughly baffling, man. I mean, out of fucking nowhere, dude decided to talk to the press in a patois accent straight out of the 99 Cent Store. Bruh, what “island massive” was Chet referring to? The fucking bar staff at a Sandals resort? For the love of God, why is Chet always doing some fuckity-fuck shit, son?

To be clear, this is not the first time that Chet has engaged in nonsensical shenanigans. Shit, just a few years ago, he was a rapper who looooved saying the word “nigga.” Now, all of a sudden, he’s the new fucking Collie Buddz? Side note, that ain’t a knock against Collie Buddz, man. On the real, I’m a big fan of that dude, folks. In any case, this culture vulture shit needs to stop, fam. Hell, he’s the son of a cotdamn legend, people. Real talk, he doesn’t have to always partake in the fuckery, brethren.

In the end, I have nothing else to say, bruh. Ultimately, I want everyone to watch the video for themselves. By and by, after getting past the fact that the video is hilarious, we need to pack Chet Hanks in a box somewhere. At the end of the day, he’s a habitual line-stepper who has to be defeated, son. At this point, I’m pretty sure that Tom would rather rock out with Wilson than Chet, man. That is all. LC out.

Trump Is Tryna Start WW3 On Twitter

So, before I even begin, I want everyone to carefully read the above tweet from Donald Trump. Real talk, I had to go inspect his timeline for myself just to confirm the shenanigans, son. Like, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I understand all of the inner-workings of our government. However, I’m pretty sure that a sitting President can’t use Twitter to compel Congress to start a war. Yet, here we are, man. *Sigh* I legitimately don’t know what the fuck is happening right now, fam.

Ok, let’s be real, bruh. At this point, I shouldn’t have to explain to people what’s going on, son. Basically, Trump authorized the assassination of Qassim Suleimani, Iran‘s Major General, and all hell has broken loose. Now, for folks who don’t understand the significance of this, if Iran knocked off one of America‘s Joint Chiefs of Staff, that would probably be similar to killing Suleimani. Meaning, this is a big deal, man. Like, a really big fucking deal, fam.

Anyway, since the drone strike hit Baghdad, the world has been wondering how Iran is going to respond. Because of this, all of the World War 3 jokes have started to fly on social media. Now, I’ll admit, there’s a lot of funny shit floating around, bruh. But, if the draft gets reinstated, my knees are most likely too bad for them to pick me, son. In any case, moments like this are exactly why I don’t know how Trump’s Twitter use has been allowed to thrive. Shit, he really might start a war with 280 characters, man.

Listen, as I stated in the opening paragraph, I really want people to understand the gravity of his words. Hell, against all semblance of protocol (and logic), the President is trying to tell Congress (a separate entity) what to do in the face of potential battle. Fam, what? What?! Look, I REALLY don’t want a potential nuclear holocaust to start on the same application that permeates SpongeBob memes, bruh. All I know is, there is NOTHING presidential about how Trump is handling this, brethren. Then again, what the fuck did I even expect?

In the end, I have no idea how this situation is going to resolve itself, son. Ultimately, I’m interested/terrified to see how Iran is going to retaliate. By and by, part of me doesn’t believe that Iran really wants to get into a full-on fight with America. On the other hand, maybe they are crazy enough to try and go kamikaze on us. Either way, the immediate future might be turbulent as shit, man. At the end of the day, folks better keep their passports on deck, fam. All I can say is, I’m taking my family the fuck outta here if shit gets serious, bruh. That is all. LC out.