What Does ‘Self-Made’ Mean?

So, contrary to what some people may think, I’m not about to hate on Kylie Jenner. On the real, I’m not even going to go in depth about how her appropriation of full lips is problematic as fuck. Instead, I want to talk about the idea of her being self-made. Look, I can’t front on anyone who’s on pace to be a billionaire, son. But, if Forbes or anyone else actually thinks she’s self-made, then they’re out of their cotdamn minds, man!

Listen, according to the dictionary, the word “self-made” means “having become successful or rich by one’s own efforts.” Shit, on NO planet does Jenner fit this criteria, fam. Shit, if we’re keeping score, her father is Caitlyn Jenner, her mother is Kris Jenner and her half-sister is Kim Kardashian. Furthermore, she’s been on a reality show since she was a child and she’s been rich her entire life. Frankly, she’s always had the access and the celebrity to be successful in life. Now, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have to work hard. But, if folks don’t believe that she has a MASSIVE leg up, then they’re fucking crazy, bruh!

Keeping it a buck, I really don’t think that wealthy people fully understand the benefits of being wealthy. Like, I remember when Donald Trump tried to downplay his father’s assistance by saying he got a “very, very small loan” from Fred Trump for a million dollars. Son, I don’t know ANYONE right now who could just give me a milly. Real talk, that’s not the way the vast majority of this country lives, man. So, the idea that any of these people are self-made is preposterous, fam. Now, as I stated before, that doesn’t mean that rich people don’t have to work to prosper. However, they’re already A LOT further in the race than the rest of us, bruh. It just is what it is.

In the end, congrats to Kylie, son. Ultimately, I’m not here to shit on anybody’s accomplishments, man. By and by, I just want to put this entire narrative into perspective, fam. At the end of the day, the Jenner’s did what any family is supposed to do: create opportunities for the next generation. In that regard, Kris and Caitlyn succeeded, bruh. All in all, I’ll let them cook for today, folks. Hell, I’ll probably go back to shitting on them tomorrow. That is all. LC out.

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Put Some Respek On Dame Dash’s Name

Man, I fucks with Damon Dash. Shit, I know that people like to judge him for his falling out with Jay-Z. However, Dash is a legend and should be treated as such, son. In any case, it seems like Lee Daniels missed that memo, fam. Hell, not only did Dash run up on Daniels for not repaying a $2 million loan, but he also filed a lawsuit over the missing money. All in all, Dash hit Daniels with that “run me my check” type of energy.

Ok, for those who missed it, this beef has been brewing for quite some time. Now, according to Dash, he lent Daniels money to fund his movie career. Based on Dash’s story, he gave Daniels the bread needed to create a Richard Pryor biopic, which never saw the light of day. In addition, Dash was supposed to receive five percent of the backend profits from the film. Needless to say, none of that transpired and Dash is PISSED!

Real talk, I can completely understand why Dash is heated, bruh. I mean, look at all of the success that Daniels has had, son. Listen, whether we’re discussing Precious, The Butler or Empire, Daniels has had an amazing run in the industry, man. So, why won’t he just pay Dash his money, fam? Honestly, I feel like people front on Dash because of his failed relationship with Hov and ousting from Roc-A-Fella Records. Keeping it a buck, all of this shit feels like a “kick a dude while he seems to be down” kind of vibe.

Listen, folks need to applaud Dash for his accomplishments, bruh. Keeping it a buck, he’s the one who believed in Hov from the jump. He’s the one who wanted to start Roc-A-Fella after all of the major labels turned Jay down. He’s the one who brought Kareem “Biggs” Burke in to help fund their independent endeavor. He’s the one who actually believed in, and signed, a young Kanye West. Side note, we ALL know about West’s current run of fuckery. But, that doesn’t negate his past work. Anyway, Dash deserves more than the shade that people constantly give him, folks.

In the end, Daniels needs to pay Dash back, son. Ultimately, Dame isn’t going to let this shit go, man. Either way, it makes for amazing entertainment, fam. By and by, Daniels and everyone else need to put some respek on Dash’s name, bruh. Word to Birdman. LC out.

Can I Have Unbiased News?

So, I won’t lie, son. I’m tired of the news, man. No, I’m not tired of current events, but I’m tired of the way these stories are presented to me, fam. Like, can I just have the regular fucking news, bruh? Without a talking head telling me how to interpret it? Look, people are always quick to blame Fox News for the degeneration of journalism. Side note, they are BY FAR the most egregious, folks. I mean, let’s just be real here. But, Fox is not the only culprit in this clusterfuck of media, people. All in all, EVERY news network is to blame for the biased broadcasting presented to the public.

Ok, before I continue, I want everyone to look at this article on Deadspin‘s The Concourse. Listen, writer Timothy Burke put together a video of content across numerous television stations owned by Sinclair Broadcast Group. In the video, DOZENS of news anchors can be seen reciting the same rhetoric, emphasizing Donald Trump‘s fictitious war on “fake news.” Now, when I say the “same rhetoric,” I mean these anchors are actually saying the SAME EXACT WORDS across multiple broadcasts. Shit, how the fuck are people supposed to get unbiased news when the presenters are LITERALLY reading from a script, son?

Now, let me be clear, man. Fox News isn’t the only evil entity in this equation, fam. Hell, MSNBC loves to get in on the bullshit, bruh. On the real, I already shitted on Rachel Maddow in the past for trying to connect dots between Trump and Russia with no verifiable proof. In addition, I remember when Don Lemon had a LONG run of saying fuckity-fuck shit about race on CNN. Keeping it a buck, I can’t watch ANY of these networks anymore, son. All of their content has an angle and I’m fucking sick of it, people.

In the end, I don’t even know how to fix this problem, son. Ultimately, these companies benefit from spinning these tales, man. At the end of the day, the American public is the only group that loses, fam. By and by, we can never come to a resolution about any of the issues because we’re never given accurate information. *Sigh* Where’s Ted Koppel when we need him, bruh? LC out.

What Are Dre & Bow Fighting About On ‘Black-ish’?

So, as the title infers, I watch Black-ish, son. Now, I may not be as caught up as my wife, but I get my chuckles here and there, man. Anyway, over the past few episodes, shit has gotten real, fam. Basically, Dre and Bow are on the verge of a divorce, bruh. All I know is, as I’ve watched the last few episodes, I keep asking myself the same question: what the fuck are they fighting about? In my eyes, their relationship is failing for the same reason a lot of relationships fail: who the fuck knows?

Ok, allow me to keep it a buck for a second, son. Now, I’ve been in a relationship for almost ten years. In addition, I’ve been married for over a year. In any case, at times, my wife does shit that annoys me. For example, she’s always mooching off of my food without permission. Needless to say, I’m SERIOUS about my grub, folks. Side note, hey, babe, don’t hit me. This is all entertainment. Ok, love you, bye. Moving on, she hates it when I walk through the house with shoes on. Essentially, there will always be little things that annoy us about our significant others. By and by, the goal is to never let those small disagreements get in the way of love.

Now, Dre and Bow seem to have passed that point, man. Look, after twenty years of marriage, every problem is exacerbated. Real talk, it appears that every slight issue they have with each other has avalanched into something that’s bigger than it needs to be. All I can say is, it’s amazing how many real-life unions falter for the same reasons, fam. Ok, yes, a number of people break up over money issues and infidelity. However, a lot of people also break up over bullshit, bruh. I mean, that’s why “irreconcilable differences” are grounds for a divorce. Shit, folks reach a point where they don’t even know what they’re beefing about and just call it quits.

In the end, I think this fictional story is a perfect example of how NOT to conduct a relationship. Ultimately, before blowing up a life together, at least figure out what the real fucking problem is, son. By and by, I’m no relationship expert, but I’ll be damned if I don’t have an answer for the “how did we get here” question. At the end of the day, I have NO intention of getting a divorce, man. Hell, my life is great. But, God forbid if it ever happened, at least I’d like to have a clear picture of why, fam. That is all. LC out.

It Be Ya Own People: Kevin Hart Edition

So, this Kevin Hart infidelity shit just took a weird turn, huh? I mean, when I read that someone was trying to extort him with a sex tape, I just assumed it was one of the women in the video, son. On the real, I would’ve never imagined that the culprit might be someone from his inner circle, man. In any case, if the rumors are true, then Jonathan Todd Jackson is a fucking clown, fam. All in all, what part of the game is trying to extort a friend, bruh?

Ok, before I continue, allow me to be petty for a second, son. Now, while researching this story, I’ve seen several media outlets refer to Jackson as either JT or Action Jackson. First off, we already have a JT and his name is Justin Timberlake, man. Furthermore, that JT is already on thin ice after his Man of the Woods album, fam. Needless to say, we don’t need anymore fuckery from someone who goes by JT. Second, there’s only one Action Jackson and his name is Carl Weathers, bruh. Look, I ain’t never see Jonathan Todd square up with Rocky Balboa or Predator, folks. So, he doesn’t have the right to use the “Action” moniker.

Anyway, let’s get back to Jackson’s tomfoolery, son. Now, according to reports, Jackson has been charged with attempted extortion and extortion by threatening letter. Apparently, he somehow got a copy of Hart’s sex tape and tried to swindle some money out of the comedian. This is notable because these dudes used to be boys. Real talk, I only recognize Jackson’s face because of his proximity to Hart, man. Shit, I can specifically remember seeing him in Think Like a Man Too, a film that starred Hart. So, I think it’s safe to say that Hart got homie a roll in that film.

My thing is, what would lead that dude to attempt this fuck shit, fam? Keeping it a buck, if my boy tried to shake me for some cash, I might as well just confess, bruh. I’d much rather take the risk with my wife than give a carpetbagger any of my bread, son. On top of that, this friend, now former friend, would have to catch these hands, man. Lastly, I’d make him film his own beatdown, since he likes tapes so damn much. Good Lord, Jackson is a straight dumbass for this shit, people.

In the end, I hope those felony charges were worth it, son. Ultimately, if Jackson gets convicted, those consequences ain’t gonna be sweet, man. At the end of the day, stupid is as stupid does, shout-out to Forrest Gump. By and by, Jackson is the definition of stupid, fam. That is all. LC out.

Good Riddance, Bill Cosby

Look, let me be clear, son. I’m not one of those people who romanticizes Heathcliff Huxtable and The Cosby Show. I mean, I’m fully aware of Bill Cosby‘s impact across media, man. I’m fully aware of the doors he’s opened for Black people in both entertainment and education. However, I have the ability to acknowledge his past work and still think he’s a disgusting human being, fam. With that being said, Cosby is getting what he deserves right now, bruh. All in all, any man who has violated as many women as he has should NOT be celebrated, folks. Plain and simple.

So, for those who missed it, Cosby was convicted of three counts of aggravated indecent assault. All of this stemmed from an incident with Andrea Constand, a former Temple University employee, back in 2004. In any case, after all of the accusations against Cosby through the years, he finally got bagged for something. At this point, I don’t want to hear anybody else caping for this dude, son. On the real, DOZENS of women have accused Cosby of similar transgressions over the decades and NOBODY seemed to give a fuck. The way I see it, if folks really believe that ALL of the women are lying, then they probably think R. Kelly is innocent too. Side note, when the fuck are we going to get R. Kelly out of the paint, man? Hell, how much dastardly shit does one guy have to do before he sees any retribution? *Sigh*

In any case, people have to learn how to separate the man from his persona. Listen, Cliff Huxtable isn’t real, fam! Hillman College isn’t real, bruh! It’s okay to love what those images represented and still criticize its creator. Real talk, the images presented on The Cosby Show, A Different World and Fat Albert were AWESOME for Black people. But, that doesn’t mean we should give a deviant a pass, son. All I know is, no television show is worth a woman’s safety and/or dignity, man.

In the end, shout-out to Hannibal Buress, fam. Ultimately, it’s amazing that a secretly recorded joke started an avalanche, bruh. By and by, I know Buress has tried to separate himself from the scandal over the years. But, he unwittingly became an ally in the fight against sexual abuse. At the end of the day, Cosby got what was coming to him. All I can say is, I don’t feel one iota of sympathy for the man. That is all. LC out.

Tristan Thompson Is Out Here Wilin’

So, LeBron James needs to come get Tristan Thompson, son. I mean, homie is out here WILIN’, man! Like, did he not know he was 6’9″, fam? Shit, we can all see him, bruh! All I know is, Thompson seemingly has NO couth, folks. Hell, he’s out here cheating on Khloé Kardashian in the braziest ways possible, people. All in all, Thompson has two options: either stop cheating or learn to be waaaaay more incognegro about it. Side note, I’m aware of the fact that the former is the better option, brethren. I don’t need my wife plotting to murder me.

Ok, before I continue, allow me to briefly be insensitive. Now, I know that Khloé is pregnant right now. I know that this type of stress is bad for a growing baby. With that being said, I wish her and her child nothing but health. However; I don’t feel sorry for Khloé at all, son. Lest we forget, Thompson previously dated a woman named Jordan Craig. In addition, her ass was also SUPER pregnant when Thompson started bumping uglies with Khloé. So, am I supposed to sympathize with a woman who’s getting the same treatment she initially encouraged? Hell fucking nah, man! The way I see it, that’s a whole HEAP of karma for that ass, fam.

Anyway, let me get back to Thompson, bruh. All I can say is, that dude can’t even spell the word “discretion.” First, a video came out that showed him clubbing with a couple of women back in October. Now, at that time, Khloé was about three months pregnant. In any case, what was Thompson doing? Tonguing down chicks, motorboating them and letting them feel his crotch. Look, I’ve done some reckless shit in my life, but I’m not famous, son. This dumbass was doing all of this shit on camera, man! Fam, chill the fuck out! The tape is rolling!

Moving on, the Thompson Fuckery Train kept going as a new video surfaced with even more shenanigans. This time, here in New York, he was seen entering a hotel with Lani Blair, a bartender at Angel’s Strip Club. To make matters worse, she definitely had an overnight bag with her. Meaning, she was prepared to have her back blown out for an extended period of time. On the real, I feel like Thompson wanted to get caught, bruh. That’s the only way I could understand how he could be so openly careless. Keeping it a buck, I hope he’s ready for the slander he’s about to receive on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. At the end of the day, it didn’t work out so well for Lamar Odom, son.

In the end, I had a good ass time laughing at all of the tomfoolery, man. On top of that, the memes have been GOLD, fam! Ultimately, we’ll see how this story plays out, bruh. By and by, the last time he cheated like a madman, the Cleveland Cavaliers won the NBA Finals. Soooo, maybe LeBron should just let Thompson keep on cooking. Then again, what do I know, son? LC out.