The Uncomfortable Truth About Older Guys & Young Girls

So, let’s be real, son. By now, I’m pretty sure a large number of us have watched Lifetime’s Surviving R. Kelly documentary. I mean, what else needs to be said, man? Robert Sylvester Kelly is a fucking creep, fam! Also, water is wet, bruh. But, Kelly isn’t the subject of today’s post, people. Well, not exactly. Instead, he’s the inspiration for a broader conversation that needs to be had, folks. Namely, all of the other old ass dudes who continue to do what Kelly has done. The fact is, he isn’t the only older guy who has shown a propensity for younger girls.

Ok, before I continue, let me tell everyone a quick story. So, back in the sixth grade, I was uber corny, son. Like, I had glasses, braces and wack ass clothes, man. Shit, with all of my powers combined, I was traaaaash, fam. Anyway, there was a girl in my class who I was enamored with. Now, despite my place on the social totem pole, I shot my shot at her, bruh. Needless to say, I got turned down. However, she wasn’t rough about it. In actuality, she told me that she had a boyfriend and couldn’t mess with me in that way.

Moving on, one day after school, her boyfriend was waiting for her. In fact, he was waiting in his Acura Legend and he was a junior at our neighboring high school. All I know is, he was 17 years old when she was 11. Now, at the time, I didn’t really comprehend what was going on, son. Partly because I was young and partly because this wasn’t an isolated case. In fact, I knew a number of classmates who were in similar situations, man. Hell, it was “normal” for a hot chick to be “dating” an older dude. Little did we know it was weird as fuck, fam. As time went on, I noticed the same behavior, bruh. By the time I was 17, a girl I messed with the year before got pregnant by a 24-year-old drug dealer. Needless to say, we ALL knew it was problematic as shit, brethren.

The point is, there are a ton of R. Kelly’s running around out here, son. Frankly, we have to call ALL of them out, man. Look, I don’t care who they are, where they’re from or what they do. Older dudes have NO business dealing with these young girls, fam. For whatever reason, we sweep a lot of that shit under the rug. But, enough is enough, bruh. All in all, we need to hold EVERYBODY accountable, folks.

In the end, I’m raising a middle finger to all of those nasty ass sumbitches out there. At the end of the day, they need to go find some women their own damn age, son. Ultimately, we need to let children and teenagers be children and teenagers, man. By and by, they’re not here for some older loser’s deviance, fam. That is all. LC out.

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How Much Evidence Do R. Kelly Supporters Need?

So, I’m just going to get straight to the point, son. On the real, Lifetime’s Surviving R. Kelly is already one of the wildest documentaries I’ve ever seen, man. The problem is, we’re not even halfway through all of his fuckery, fam. Now, to be honest, I knew a lot of these details already. However, that didn’t stop me from being blown away while listening to some of his victims tell their stories. Furthermore, the details that I didn’t know were beyond my level of comprehension, bruh. All in all, allow me to talk through some of the shit that threw me for a complete loop, folks.

First, let’s talk about Aaliyah, son. Ok, at this point, everyone knows that Kelly married her back in 1994. Now, as the story goes, they lied about Aaliyah’s age on the marriage certificate and the two singers tied the knot in Cook County, Illinois. Anyway, my issue is the number of close associates who knew about the shenanigans and did nothing about it. Shit, Demetrius Smith, Kelly’s former tour manager, was the dude who faked the papers for Kelly. Fam! What in the flying FUCK was wrong with that dude, man?! For God’s sake, she was a CHILD, bruh! Real talk, how can that man even live with himself, people?

Second, I can no longer listen to Michael Jackson’s “You Are Not Alone.” Look, let’s be real, son. Given the number of allegations that plagued MJ, I didn’t need another reason to be sick to my stomach, man. But, leave it to Kelly to ruin the day, fam. Now, according to Lizzette Martinez, a woman who met Kelly when she was 17, MJ’s hit song is about her. Apparently, Kelly got her pregnant when she was still in high school and she suffered a miscarriage. After that, Kelly wrote the song and claimed he was thinking about her. Ok, excuse me while I go throw up, bruh.

Third, Kelly’s older brother is a fucking creep, son. I mean, it’s one thing to defend a sibling. However, it’s an entirely different thing to excuse criminal behavior, man. Hell, that’s exactly what Bruce Kelly tried to do, fam. Like, he didn’t understand why people were tripping over R. Kelly’s love of young girls. Bruh! IT’S ILLEGAL, DUDE! Listen, this has NOTHING to do with preference, folks. Underage girls aren’t a cotdamn preference, people! *Sigh* He can’t be fucking serious, brethren. All I can say is, the ENTIRE Kelly family is full of warped human beings.

In the end, I haven’t even gone below the surface of R. Kelly’s tomfoolery, son. Ultimately, people have to watch dream hampton’s documentary for themselves. By and by, Kelly is one of the most dangerous predators we’ve ever seen, man. At the end of the day, he’s been up to the same level of deviance for like three decades. Hell, it’s no coincidence that all of these women have such similar stories, fam. Frankly, this is who R. Kelly is through and through. All I know is, if anyone still rocks with R. Kelly, then they’re rapist sympathizers. Keeping it a buck, there’s no other way to describe this, bruh. That is all. LC out.

P.S. This dude apparently likes it when girls call him “Daddy.” Now, as a reminder, he also made a song called “Come To Daddy.” Jesus Christ, son! Like, I can’t even put into words how disturbing this guy is, man. No mas.

I Almost Disowned My Mother Over Stan Lee

So, allow me to keep it a buck for a second, son. Real talk, if anyone doesn’t understand how legendary Stan Lee was/is, then I really don’t want to know that person. Taking it a step further, if I have a friend/family member who doesn’t comprehend Lee’s GOAT‘ness, then I’m not sure that I can continue our relationship. I mean, Lee was The Gawd, man! Seriously, where the fuck would Marvel Comics or the overall zeitgeist be if Lee never existed, fam? Shit, I don’t even want to imagine such a world. All in all, Rest In Peace to one of the greatest dudes ever!

Ok, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let me explain the title of this post, bruh. So, once upon a time in elementary school, I was a HUGE comic book fan. Side note, I dare someone to test my knowledge on anything before like 2005. Honestly, I’ve got this, son. In any case, around like the third grade, I came across a special comic book: an original edition of Amazing Spider-Man #300. Now, for anyone who is unaware, this issue contains the first full-length appearance of Venom. Moving on, the comic first came out in 1988, but somehow in the early 1990s, I found an original copy. Needless to say, I was fucking HYPED, man!

Anyway, even though Lee didn’t write that particular issue, it’s no secret that Peter Parker was his brainchild. Hell, Parker along with every other Marvel character who has ever mattered, fam. All I can say is, getting ahold of Venom’s first foray meant EVERYTHING to me, bruh! On the real, I read that comic once and put it back in the plastic, son. Listen, I didn’t want to risk creasing it, man.

Now, fast forward to my freshman year of boarding school. I came home for my first vacation and noticed my room looked a little different. Most notably, my bookcase seemed to be missing all of my comic books. To add insult to injury, I definitely noticed that Spider-Man #300 was missing. From there, I asked my mom where my comics were and she uttered four words that changed our relationship: “I threw them out.” I immediately asked her why she would do such a thing and she said “you’re a teenager now, I figured you wouldn’t want them anymore.” All I know is, that might’ve been the only time I legitimately wanted to hit my own mother with the Stone Cold Stunner.

Look, I told that story to highlight one main point: Stan Lee invented a universe that I NEEDED to be a part of. Like, he created characters with nuance, fam. He created characters with ethos. For God‘s sake, he based Professor X and Magneto on Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X! What else do people need to know, bruh?! Yeah, these heroes had unreal abilities, but a lot of them had VERY real problems, son. Keeping it a buck, what awkward teenager couldn’t relate to Peter Parker? Being a superhero didn’t absolve him from the trash-ness of high school, man. The fact is, Lee built a world that all of us could identify with AND get lost in.

In the end, RIP to the greatest! Ultimately, his influence will forever be solidified. By and by, Marvel is stronger than ever and it’s directly because of his influence. At the end of the day, legends never die, fam. Long live Stan Lee! That is all. LC out.

P.S. Man, I still don’t know if I’ve forgiven my mom. Look, I just Google‘d the price of an original copy of that Spider-Man issue and got mad all over again. *Sigh* Her and I need to have another discussion, son. Good day.

My 500th Post

So, I won’t lie, son. I don’t really have anything weighing on my mind today, man. Well, that’s not true at all. I mean, I have a million things on my mind, but nothing that I feel the need to write about, fam. Instead, I just want to take this time to thank any and everybody who supports this raggedy ass blog, bruh. Shit, as of today, I’ve reached 500 posts, brethren. Real talk, that’s a lot of fucking writing, folks. All I can say is, I wouldn’t have kept this up if people didn’t hold me down. Hell, every time I’ve wanted to quit, someone would randomly give me a word that I needed to hear. With that being said, I just want to acknowledge the fact that I don’t take any of it for granted. In the end, I’m going to do my best to make sure my shit ain’t trash, people. Love y’all! That is all. LC out.

50 Cent Needs To Let His Ja Rule Beef Go

Look, let me cut straight to the chase, son. Real talk, it’s 2018 and 50 Cent needs to let his beef with Ja Rule go. I mean, at this point, 50 looks like an obsessed ex-girlfriend, man. For God‘s sake, he won this feud over a decade ago, fam! So, why can’t he just go on with his life, bruh? All I know is, there comes a time when we’re all too old to be this petty, brethren. The way I see it, 50 is already waaaay late to that party.

Ok, for those who missed it, Ja is supposed to do a show somewhere on November 9th. Apparently, there are tickets for sale on Groupon. Anyway, when 50 got word of the concert, instead of just going on with his day, he decided to fuck with Ja for the millionth time. So, he bought 200 front row tickets just so they could be empty for the show. Now, listen, if this were 15 years ago, I probably would’ve thought this was hilarious, son. But, since they’ve been beefing since the early 2000s, it’s kind of ridiculous now, man. Shit, aren’t these dudes in their fucking 40s now?

To be fair, I was a HUGE 50 Cent fan, fam. On the real, I legitimately learned how to write hooks from listening to G-Unit songs, bruh. On the other hand, despite their longstanding feud, I remained a Ja Rule fan too. Side note, cats need to stop fronting like Ja ain’t have the jams, folks. Real talk, outside of that The Last Temptation bullshit, all of Ja’s albums were tough, people. In any case, I say all that to say that I have no bias when it comes to these artists. In fact, the only point I’m making is that 50 is too damn grown to still be acting like he’s late for home room in high school.

In the end, 50 needs to be more constructive with his time, son. Hell, shouldn’t he be working on Power right now? Keeping it a buck, the writing on that show has been a little suspect over the last two seasons. Ultimately, if he focused more on that and less on Ja, the show might be as good as it was during the first two seasons. Then again, what the hell do I know, man? Frankly, 50’s going to keep doing what he’s doing, fam. At the end of the day, trolling seems to be a large part of his job description, bruh. That is all. LC out.

My Question About Bill Cosby: Do We Really Want Justice?

So, the day has actually arrived, son. Bill Cosby, TV dad to a generation of people, is actually going to prison. Look, I won’t lie, man. I have conflicted feelings about this, fam. On one hand, he’s getting exactly what he deserves for abusing numerous women. On the other hand, it’s a damn shame that this has overshadowed everything he’s ever built, bruh. But, that’s what happens when someone has a long history of deviance, folks. In any case, I want to ask the people out there (mostly Black) one question: do we really want justice or do we want to be able to get away with the same crimes as White people?

Ok, before I continue, let me make one thing clear: I’m not here to argue about Cosby’s guilt, son. By now, if anyone hasn’t heard his 2005 deposition where he admits to giving women drugs so he can have sex with them, then that person is lost, man. Face it, Cosby did that shit, fam. Anyway, in the aftermath of his sentencing, social media has been in a tizzy, bruh. Real talk, a lot of the commentary seems to be around the idea that only Cosby, a Black man, is suffering the consequences of his actions. Furthermore, people would like to know why people like Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey haven’t suffered the same fate.

Listen, I agree with the idea that monsters like Weinstein and Spacey need to be held accountable. However, are we saying that since they haven’t paid the price yet that Cosby shouldn’t have to pay? Is that the wave we’re on? So, are our complaints about sexual abuse or the fact that Cosby is the only convicted celebrity? Ideally, I want everybody to go down for their treachery, son. Shit, I don’t want Cosby to be free just because Weinstein is free. I mean, that literally doesn’t make sense, man. All in all, a criminal shouldn’t be excused just because another criminal hasn’t been busted yet. So, instead of asking for Cosby’s release, we need to ask for all of the abusers to get helmed up, fam.

In the end, we need to let the hero worship die, bruh. Ultimately, we all know the justice system isn’t fair, son. But, that doesn’t mean we need to excuse Cosby’s behavior, man. By and by, he needed to pay for his crimes, fam. At the end of the day, people like Weinstein and Spacey also need to pay for their crimes. All I can say is, I don’t put them in different categories, bruh. Wrong is wrong is wrong. That is all. LC out.

Bert & Ernie Live Their Truth

So, let me begin this post saying that I find this Bert and Ernie story funny, son. Not because of the longstanding rumor that they’re a gay couple, but because of everyone’s reactions, man. The truth is, different Sesame Street insiders have different perspectives on this subject, fam. With that being said, all of them are right, bruh. Frankly, it just depends on who’s being asked, people. All in all, the real question is, does the sexuality of puppets even matter?

Ok, for those who missed it, Mark Saltzman, former Sesame Street writer, claimed that during his time on the show, he wrote Bert and Ernie as a gay couple. As a matter of fact, he based his writing on his own personal relationships. Now, as expected, this sent the internet into a tizzy. On one side, there were people who were like “duh, son.” Side note, I fall into that category, man. On the other side, there were people who were upset that sexuality was being attributed to puppets on a kid’s show. Shit, even the Sesame Workshop came out with the “they have no sexual orientation” statement. Keeping it a buck, I feel like both sides are correct, fam.

Look, fictional characters are only defined by the individuals writing for them, bruh. Now, when Frank Oz and Jim Henson created Bert and Ernie, they didn’t intend for them to be gay characters. However, that doesn’t change the fact that Saltzman wrote for them from that frame of mind. Hell, Iron Man wasn’t an alcoholic until the Demon in a Bottle storyline. But, that’s how the Marvel writers saw Tony Stark at that particular time. All I can say is, different writers have different vantage points, son. It just is what it is.

In the end, none of this matters, man. Ultimately, Bert and Ernie’s sexuality doesn’t change their impact on children, fam. By and by, both of my sons have religiously watched Sesame Street. At the end of the day, the show still teaches them letters, numbers and how to be nice to people. All I know is, that’s all that really counts, bruh. That is all. LC out.