I’m All In On Disney+

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, today’s post could either be really long or incredibly short. All I can say is, I’m aiming for the latter, man. In any case, I’m just here to fan out about Disney+, fam. Listen, the kid in me is experiencing MASSIVE amounts of overload, bruh. Look, damn near every show/movie I cared about as a child is on this platform, people. All in all, LC is a very, very happy man right now.

Ok, if I’m keeping it a buck, I haven’t even scratched the surface of this streaming service, son. Like, I’m fully aware of the fact that Disney+ has everything from Disney, Pixar, Marvel, Star Wars, National Geographic and all of the hood DVDs they used to sell on 125th Street in Harlem. However, ever since its launch, I’ve been OD’ing on old episodes of X-Men: The Animated Series, man. Side bar, Magneto was always right, fam. Anyway, while I’ve been pretending like I’m 10 years old again, my sons have been getting familiar with classics like DuckTales and Darkwing Duck. All I know is, I’m ABSOLUTELY trying to indoctrinate them, bruh.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, son. Ultimately, I don’t have the time to sit here and chronicle all of the content on this service, man. By and by, Disney owns EVERYTHING, fam. So, naturally, they have all of the cool fucking shows, bruh. Shit, even if folks don’t want to be nostalgic, The Mandalorian is out here getting good reviews. At the end of the day, I might cancel all of my other subscriptions, people. I mean, I have X-Men and Spider-Man, brethren. What else do I need? Exactly. LC out.

P.S. My wife really knows me, son. Listen, she made individual accounts for her, Don, X and I and made Darth Vader my profile picture. She just understands me, man. Good day.

‘El Camino’ Is Aight

Disclaimer: Spoilers, son. Spoilers. That is all.

So, after expressing my excitement/reservation about El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie, I’m finally back with my assessment, son. Now, I won’t lie, man. The film is cool, fam. Just cool. I mean, it definitely isn’t bad, but it also isn’t on the level of the original Breaking Bad. Hell, it isn’t even on the level of Better Call Saul, bruh. All in all, I may have expected more from Vince Gilligan, but the movie is still a welcomed addition.

Ok, for those who are interested, here’s the movie’s backstory. Now, after Walter White released him from the Brotherhood‘s enslavement, Jesse Pinkman finds his way to his friends, Skinny Pete and Badger. Anyway, due to the machine gun-induced chaos that occurred in Breaking Bad‘s “Felina,” the police are looking to question Pinkman. Anyway, with the help of Skinny and Badger, Pinkman is able to avoid the (real) authorities. Side bar, he did have a run-in with some muhfuckas dressed like cops, but that’s another story, son.

Moving on, Pinkman’s goal is to get enough money to pay Ed Galbraith for a brand new identity. Now, for anyone who’s unfamiliar, Galbraith is a dude who originally helped White evade authorities and gave Saul Goodman a way out after all of Heisenberg‘s fuckery. In any case, Pinkman has to find double the amount to pay Galbraith because he didn’t show up the first time Galbraith tried to help him disappear. From there, Pinkman ends up robbing/killing a couple of people for the extra bread and blah, blah, blah.

Look, let me be clear, man. Real talk, it may appear like I’m being flippant about the movie. In reality, I actually enjoyed it, fam. The way I see it, it’s a fitting ending to the Breaking Bad story. Shit, we already knew what happened to White, we knew what happened to Goodman, and now, we know what happens to Pinkman. On the real, I think the film suffers because it’s a film. Meaning, Breaking Bad benefitted from being a television show. Frankly, Gilligan could really get in depth with the details, bruh. Keeping it a buck, that attention to detail is what made Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul great shows. The fact is, it’s hard to cram all of that shit in two hours, son.

In the end, I still appreciate the movie, man. Ultimately, it’s a good addition to the Breaking Bad canon, fam. By and by, I might’ve gotten my hopes too high, but I can’t necessarily say I was disappointed, bruh. At the end of the day, I will always watch anything Breaking Bad-related, son. YEAH, BITCH! MAGNETS! Good day. LC out.

Tyler Perry Runs Hollywood

So, I won’t lie, son. Real talk, I have conflicting feelings about Tyler Perry, man. On one hand, I can’t say that I’m the biggest fan of his movies and TV shows. But, I must admit, I respect the fuckity-fuck out of him, fam. I mean, what he’s accomplishing in Hollywood needs to be applauded, bruh. All in all, instead of waiting for the powers that be to empower him, Perry took ownership of his legacy. The point is, the grand opening of Tyler Perry Studios is a big fucking deal, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, Perry officially opened the 330-acre studio he built in Atlanta, Georgia. Now, at first, I was confused, son. Shit, based on the fact that Black Panther and The Walking Dead have filmed there, I thought the studio was already up-and-running. However, those projects only operated on a small part of the studio. The fact is, the overall site is a much bigger and doper endeavor, man.

Now, in celebration of the grand opening, Perry had a party that included damn near every important Black person in the industry. Like, whether we’re talking about Oprah WinfreySamuel L. JacksonAva DuVernayBeyoncé or Jay-Z, the stars showed up and showed out at Perry’s event. With all of that being said, I hope people don’t miss the point about why this is a huge moment, fam. For some background, Tyler Perry Studios is the first production studio that’s fully-owned by a Black person. On top of that, it’s larger than Walt Disney StudiosWarner Bros. Studios and Paramount Pictures combined. Yeah, that’s big shit right there, bruh.

In the end, I wholly respect Perry for not waiting for a handout. Ultimately, as people of color, we’re always talking about wanting “a seat at the table.” The way I see it, fuck all of that, son. Frankly, we should be more worried about building our own tables. By and by, when we maintain our independence, we no longer put ourselves at the mercy of those who don’t want us to win. At the end of the day, ownership is real freedom, man. So, salute to Tyler Perry, fam. Salute. That is all. LC out.

Why Isn’t Tariq St. Patrick Dead Yet?

Disclaimer: Spoilers upon spoilers, brethren. Proceed with caution.

So, let’s just skip the formalities, man. On the real, Tariq St. Patrick might be the worst son in television history. Ok, yeah, I’m probably being a prisoner of the moment, but allow me to cook, son. I mean, I’ve already written about how much of a shit-head this kid is. But sheesh, he just keeps taking his dumbassery to unforeseen levels, fam. All in all, why is this fuckity-fuck still alive, bruh?

Ok, for those who are unaware, I’m currently talking about the show Power on Starz. Now, the show is in its final season and so much tomfoolery is happening, son. Side bar, what the fuck happened to the writing on this show, man? I swear, ever since 50 Cent (aka Kanan Stark) found his way out of that burning building, the plot has gotten more and more nonsensical, fam. In any case, Tariq, James St. Patrick‘s son, has become the most unlikeable muhfucka on my television screen, bruh.

First, I truly don’t understand Tariq’s beef with his father. Yes, Ghost left his mother, Tasha St. Patrick, for another woman. But, if we’re being honest here, that’s his mother’s problem, son. It’s ok to be upset about the breakup of the family, but this little dickhead has taken shit waaaaay too far, man. Now, out of pure disdain for his father, Tariq has entered a life of crime. The problem is, he’s fucking terrible at crime, fam!

Seriously, let’s quickly rundown the resume of this baby “kingpin.” First, thanks to Stark, he gets in on the robbery game. As time goes on, Tariq runs afoul of the crooked cop that he’s in cahoots with and ends up getting his twin sister, Raina St. Patrick, killed. Next, Tariq decides he’s going to be a prescription pill dealer. So, he ends up robbing his uncle, Tommy Egan, for product. From there, when he runs out of product for his distributor, Vincent Ragni, he ends up getting held for ransom. Why? Because he tried to pass off baby aspirin as the prescription pills.

The worst part is, in regards to the ransom plot, this dumb muhfucka actually thinks he’s the mastermind behind the plan. Real talk, Tariq is too stupid to realize that Ragni was going to murk him the first chance he got. On top of all of that, he’s essentially working with Egan to kill his own father. *Sigh* Keeping it a buck, I can’t even express how many different ways I want to hurt this kid. All I know is, if Tariq was my son, I’d murder him and start from scratch, bruh.

In the end, I don’t know what’s worse, son: Tariq or the writing on this show. Ultimately, I’ve dedicated too much time to turn back now, man. By and by, I have to see how this fuckery is going to end, fam. All I can say is, if Tariq St. Patrick survives this show, I’m going to be fucking PISSED, bruh! At the end of the day, dudes like him are why I hate teenagers, brethren. I’m already sharpening up my Jiu Jitsu to handle my kids, if necessary. That is all. LC out.

Kevin Hart Is Having A Bad Month

So, let’s just skip the formalities and get straight to the shits, son. On the real, Kevin Hart is having a bad month, man. First, there’s the car crash. Now, regardless of speculation, here’s what’s being reported. Apparently, a dude named Jared Black was driving Hart’s 1970 Plymouth Barracuda and rolled into a ditch. The story is, Hart and Black were injured in the crash, but Rebecca Broxterman, the third passenger and Eniko Hart‘s personal trainer, was not hospitalized. Anyway, that would be enough to sit out the rest of September. However, Montia Sabbag had a different plan in mind, fam.

Ok, for those who are unfamiliar, Sabbag is the woman that Hart was smashing on candid camera two years ago. Now, at first, she blamed Jonathan Todd Jackson for the entire ordeal. For reference, Jackson is an actor and former friend of Hart’s who tried to swindle Hart for money to retrieve the recording. In any case, back then, Sabbag stated that Hart was a victim like her. All I know is, something must’ve changed in her mind, son.

Moving on, Sabbag, with the “help” of Lisa Bloom, has decided to sue Hart for $60 million. Now, according to Sabbag, Hart conspired with Jackson to record her in order to gain publicity for Hart’s Irresponsible Tour. All I can say is, that’s literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life, man. Like, is she serious, fam? Does she really believe that Kevin Hart, the most famous comedian in the world, needs a hotel sex tape to promote his tour? Real talk, the level of delusional is unprecedented, bruh.

Listen, let me be clear, son. In my eyes, Sabbag has every right to feel like her privacy was invaded. Frankly, no one deserves to have their intimate moments filmed without their consent. But, the idea that Hart needed extra publicity is nonsensical, man. As I stated before, he’s literally the most famous comedian on the planet. Shit, it doesn’t matter if people find him funny or not. The fact is, Kevin Hart is one of the most recognizable celebrities on Earth. There is literally NOTHING Sabbag could do or say to make him more famous than he already is. If anything, we looked at Hart like a cotdamn idiot for getting caught out there, again. At this point, Bloom needs to tell her client to sit the fuckity-fuck down, fam.

In the end, Montia Sabbag needs to knock it off, bruh. Ultimately, this lawsuit is nothing more than an obvious money-grab, son. By and by, people were going to see Kevin Hart’s tour with or without footage of his hotel sex-capades. At the end of the day, Sabbag’s 15 minutes are over, man. Just let it go, ma’am. Just let it go. That is all. LC out.

Dave Chappelle Doesn’t Give A F*ckity-F*ck

So, here we are, son. It’s 2019 and Dave Chappelle, the G.O.A.T., is back with another comedy special. Now, before I even watched Dave Chappelle: Sticks & Stones, I saw a couple of think pieces about why people shouldn’t view the Netflix special. All in all, I think it’s a terrible time to be a comedian, man. I mean, everyone is so damn sensitive and can’t see the humor in anything anymore.

Ok, to be clear, is Chappelle being offensive in this special? Absolutely, fam. But, he’s literally based his entire career on saying provocative shit, bruh. Hell, has anybody ever seen Chappelle’s Show? Son, the first fucking episode featured Clayton Bigsby, a Black White supremacist. Meaning, Chappelle has spent this whole time pushing the envelope, man. So, why is every joke seemingly off limits now?

My thing is, folks don’t have to find his jokes funny. Frankly, comedy is subjective as fuck, fam. Personally, I thought the special was hilarious, bruh. Now, does that mean I hate transgender people? No. Does that mean I hate the #MeToo movement? No. It just means that I can find humor in fucked up situations. For God‘s sake, that’s what comedy has done since the beginning of time, son. The truth is, no one batted an eye when Chappelle made racially-charged jokes for years. But, if he speaks on anything else, now he needs to be “cancelled?” The way I see it, folks can get the fuck outta here, man.

Listen, Chappelle basically said as much when he talked about getting called out for saying “faggot” on Chappelle’s Show. Look, he legitimately asked why he could say “nigger,” but couldn’t say “faggot.” To me, that’s a good fucking question, fam. So, only a certain type of offensive language is acceptable? If we’re keeping it a buck, ALL of the jokes were in “bad taste.” But, that’s what made them funny. All I know is, everybody needs to lighten up, bruh.

Now, I’m sure that some people are going to hate on me for writing this post. However, I laughed when he talked about Michael Jackson. I laughed when he talked about R. Kelly. I laughed at the jokes about Kevin HartJussie Smollett, school shootings AND the opioid crisis. Individually, are any of these subjects comical? Fuck no, son. But, finding humor in despair has always been part of the genre. All I can say is, society has lost the ability to laugh along the way. Hell, everything has become so serious and it’s a fucking buzzkill, man.

In the end, let me say it again, fam: I’m not telling anyone to like Chappelle’s special. Ultimately, I just think people need to relax. By and by, we laughed with Richard Pryor when he made a joke about setting himself on fire. The real is, he was high out of his mind and tried to kill himself. In addition, all of Eddie Murphy‘s specials are inappropriate as fuck. But, we just went along for the ride, bruh. At the end of the day, I don’t think Chappelle is being hateful at all. I just believe he finds humor in sensitive topics, son. On the real, we all used to have that ability. That is all. LC out.

I Have Mixed Feelings About This ‘Breaking Bad’ Movie

So, let me begin by saying that Breaking Bad is the greatest show in the history of mankind. Listen, I don’t care what anyone says and I don’t want to hear any alternatives. On the real, there is literally NOTHING a person can say to change my mind about this, son. With that being said, I’m simultaneously excited and frightened about the announcement of a Breaking Bad-inspired movie. Frankly, I don’t want Vince Gilligan to ruin a classic, man.

Ok, for those who missed it, Gilligan, the creator, head writer and main director for AMC‘s Breaking Bad, is bringing his talents to Netflix. So, on October 11th, the Aaron Paul-led El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie will hit the streaming service. Now, based on what I’ve read, the plot begins in the aftermath of “Felina,” Breaking Bad‘s final episode. As a refresher, Walter White liberated Jesse Pinkman from his White supremacist captors, and then Pinkman escaped in a Chevrolet El Camino (hint hint). In addition, White ended up dying, not from his cancer, but by bullets from his own M60 machine gun.

Moving on, while I don’t know much about this movie’s plot, it apparently follows Pinkman’s journey after securing his freedom. Now, a part of me can’t contain my happiness, fam. I mean, the prospect of more Breaking Bad in my life is almost more than I can handle, bruh. But, what is the show without Walter White? What is the show without the complicated relationship between Heisenberg and Pinkman? Shit, can Pinkman carry the entire film himself? Does Vince Gilligan still have a compelling story to tell? All in all, I have as much fear as elation, son. The truth is, I don’t want the saga to jump the shark, man.

In the end, only time will tell, fam. Ultimately, I’ll have all of my questions answered on October 11th, bruh. By and by, I have my fingers crossed and I’m hoping for the best, son. At the end of the day, I trust Gilligan, man. Real talk, I don’t think he’ll lead us astray, brethren. That is all. LC out.