Tony Ferguson vs. Justin Gaethje Will Be Chaos

So, here we are, son. Another day and another failed attempt to book Tony Ferguson versus Khabib Nurmagomedov. I mean, maybe I’m a fool, but I really thought it was going to happen this time, man. Like, for ONCE, both athletes are healthy and didn’t have to pull out for personal reasons. But, the coronavirus happened, and now Khabib is “trapped” in Russia. Meaning, for the fifth time, the bout between him and Ferguson has been cancelled. With all of that being said, we need to thank the Lord for Justin Gaethje, fam. On a few weeks notice, he’s decided to take on Ferguson for the Interim UFC Lightweight Championship.

Ok, for those who are unaware, despite the world being at home, Dana White and company are moving forward with UFC 249. Now, at this point, I have no idea where this card is taking place. Shit, there are reports that White got an entire island just to have this event. In any case, I can tell that he’s trying to overload our senses to make up for all of the cancelled events. As of right now, UFC 249 is going to host Ferguson, Gaethje, Francis Ngannou, Rose Namajunas and Greg Hardy‘s bum ass. But, it’s clear that Ferguson is the focal point of this show. Hell, it’s fucked up, but he’s out here trying to win ANOTHER interim title.

All I know is, as much as I like Gaethje as a fighter, I really hope that he doesn’t win. Bruh, I can’t live in a world where Ferguson and Khabib don’t fight, son. Frankly, they’re the two most dominant Lightweights in UFC history and they NEED to scrap, man. The truth is, I’m pissed off at Khabib for dropping out, fam. Real talk, he’s buddies with Vladimir Putin, brethren. The way I see it, he could convince Putin to take a private jet to rumble with Ferguson. In my eyes, if he’s really the best, then he needs to prove it against Ferguson.

In the end, there’s nothing else to say, son. Ultimately, I’ll be here for UFC 249. By and by, I just need Ferguson to prevail, man. So, I need the MMA gods to get this one right, fam. At the end of the day, Ferguson MUST fight Khabib. It’s a fucking must, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Tyson Fury Beat The Bronze Off Of Deontay Wilder

So, let’s just skip the formalities and get straight to the point, son. The fact is, Tyson Fury beat the dog shit out of Deontay Wilder, man. I mean, Saturday‘s fight wasn’t even competitive, fam. Like, the ass-whooping was so bad, Wilder’s corner had to throw in the towel, bruh. All in all, there’s absolutely no need for a third fight. Frankly, we all saw what we needed to see, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, the anticipated rematch between Wilder and Fury took place this past weekend. Now, as was the case in their first fight, Wilder’s WBC Heavyweight title was on the line. In addition, The Ring and lineal Heavyweight titles were also up for grabs, since Wilder and Fury are the top-two ranked Heavyweights. In any case, I thought Fury was going to win the fight the same way that I thought he won their first bout. However, I didn’t expect a flat-out pummeling, son.

Look, let me explain why Wilder’s corner stopped the fight in the seventh round. Real talk, up until that point, Wilder was getting abused, man. Like, Fury wasn’t just out-pointing him. Fury was bullying the bully, fam. First, he knocked Wilder down in the third round. Next, he knocked Wilder down again (from a body shot) in the fifth round. He also busted Wilder’s left ear and fucked up his equilibrium. To make matters worse, by the time the match was stopped, Wilder hadn’t even won a single round, bruh. Side note, according to one judge, Wilder won one round, but I think they were just being generous to the champ, son. In any case, Wilder’s corner had to save him from himself, folks.

Now, I know that Wilder was pissed that his corner stopped the fight. I also understand boxers like Timothy Bradley who would rather see a fighter “go out on their shield.” But, I expect that type of response from them, son. Shit, they’re warriors, man. As fucked up as it sounds, they’d much rather die than quit, fam. However, there was NO way in Hell that Wilder was going to make a comeback, bruh. Listen, if he couldn’t hit Fury when he was fresh, how would he hit him when he was badly hurt? In this bout, Fury turned into the aggressor and put all types of pressure on Wilder. The way I see it, it’s CLEAR who the better fighter is, people.

In the end, there’s no need for a third fight, son. Ultimately, I know that there is a rematch clause that Wilder will most likely activate. However, nobody needs to see that, man. By and by, Fury exposed every single flaw in Wilder’s game, fam. At the end of the day, if they fight again, Wilder’s just hoping for one lucky shot, bruh. Outside of that, there’s no fucking way that he can beat Fury, brethren. All I can say is, I’d much rather see Fury fight Anthony Joshua for the WBA, IBF and WBO belts. This way, we can finally have another undisputed Heavyweight champion. So, let’s get to it, people! As of right now, my money’s on Fury. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Can anybody think of a better comeback story than Fury’s? Fam, three years ago, he was grossly overweight, depressed and abusing alcohol. Today, he’s once again the Heavyweight champion and captured the only belt he hadn’t won before. All I know is, Joshua’s belts are rightfully Fury’s. Hell, he beat Wladimir Klitschko first, man. So, let’s get the proceedings proceeding, son. Good day.

This Year’s NBA All-Star Game Was Amazing

So, let’s just get straight to the point, son. On the real, this year’s NBA All-Star Game was fucking amazing, man! All I can say is, whoever suggested the game’s new format needs a cotdamn raise, fam. The way I see it, shit can never go back to the way it was, bruh. Real talk, I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen the game this competitive. In any case, I’m here for all of it, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, Sunday‘s All-Star Game was fire, son. So, the teams were broken up between captains LeBron James and Giannis Antetokounmpo. Anyway, according to the new rules, after each quarter, depending on which team had the most points that quarter, $100,000 would be donated to their respective charities. All the while, a running total would be kept for both squads. Now, depending on which team had the most points after three quarters, 24 points would be added to that score, in honor of Kobe Bryant. From there, in the fourth quarter, both teams would have to play to that final number. The first team to reach that designated score wins. Moving on, in the case of Sunday’s game, each team was trying to get to 157 points.

Now, since both teams were playing to a finite number, the intensity of that fourth quarter was crazy, man! Shit, Giannis was trying to kill LeBron, Kawhi Leonard was hitting every shot in sight and Kyle Lowry was out here taking copious amounts of charges. Side bar, Lowry is absolutely the reason why Team Giannis lost that game. Fam, why the fuck would he pull Anthony Davis down in the final seconds? Like, he single-handedly gave Team LeBron the win, bruh. Way to go, Lowry!

In the end, Kawhi walked away with the first Kobe Bryant MVP Award. Ultimately, given their relationship, it was a fitting way for the game to end, son. By and by, I really hope every year is like this, man. At the end of the day, it’s exciting as shit when the best players in the world are actually trying, fam. Frankly, injuries are the only thing we have to worry about, bruh. Hell, it would suck for a superstar to get hurt in this shit, people. Regardless, shout-out to Adam Silver, Chris Paul and everyone else who was involved in making this game entertaining. All in all, I’ll be right back here next year, folks. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Ice Cube has a right to be tight, son. Keeping it a buck, no one can tell me that the NBA wasn’t paying attention to the BIG3‘s format, man. But, it made for some exciting ass basketball, fam. Good day.

Dominick Reyes Beat Jon Jones

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I’m not a Jon Jones fan. I mean, despite the fact that he’s the biggest fuckity-fuck in sports, he’s also the reason why I became a fan of MMA. The truth is, a lot of people have turned a blind eye to his shenanigans because he was seemingly unbeatable in the Octagon. With that being said, his run might be coming to an end, man. The way I see it, he lost that fight to Dominick Reyes.

Ok, for those who missed it, Jones just “defended” his Light Heavyweight championship against Reyes at UFC 247. Now, I put “defended” in quotations because he lost that fucking fight, fam. Look, if we’re going by the rules of the sport, in a five-round fight, whoever wins the most rounds should win the match, right? Well, in that case, Reyes won the first three rounds, bruh. Real talk, I have NO idea how these judges could’ve scored it any other way, son. Frankly, he was pressuring Jones the whole time and hitting him with some good left hands.

Now, it is true that Reyes started to run out of gas in the fourth and fifth rounds. By then, Jones was picking up the pace and Reyes was doing a lot of backpedaling. However, that doesn’t negate Reyes’ work in rounds one through three. Fam, one of the judges scored the fight 49-46 for Jones, meaning they believed that Jones won four rounds. Bruh, that’s fucking impossible. IM-POSSIBLE! Listen, Jones clearly won rounds four and five. I miiiiiight be able to see an argument for round three. But, there was NO way that Jones won any of those first two rounds. So, I’m fucking clueless as to how a judge could get the scoring so wrong, man.

In the end, I feel bad for Reyes, son. On one hand, I knew he had the physical attributes to give Jones problems. On the other hand, I doubted his chances because he should’ve lost his previous fight to Volkan Oezdemir. Either way, he put on the performance of a lifetime and should’ve gotten the nod against Jones. By and by, Jones is at a crossroads, man. Shit, this is now the second fight in a row where his opponent has a legitimate argument for beating him, fam. Like, Thiago Santos gave him hell on one leg, bruh. In addition, Jones might need to stay away from Heavyweight, people. Frankly, if he’s having trouble at 205, it would probably be best to stay away from heavy-handed muhfuckas like Stipe Miocic. All I can say is, at this rate, the downfall of Jones might come sooner rather than later, brethren. That is all. LC out.

Conversations With Randi B.: Impeachment, Gayle King & Bobby Love

What’s good, brethren? On this episode of Conversations with Randi B., Randi and I talk about Donald Trump‘s impeachment, Gayle King‘s questions to Lisa Leslie about Kobe Bryant and the Bobby Love story on Humans of New York. Check it out on Spotify below, fam. Let’s go!

Donald Trump Stole Kim Kardashian’s Shine

*Sigh* Is this what time it is, son? Cats can’t even watch the Super Bowl without seeing some bullshit, man? So, instead of just seeing the Kansas City Chiefs knock off the San Francisco 49ers, I also have to see Donald Trump trump up some nonsense, fam? All in all, it’s great that Alice Marie Johnson was granted clemency. However, it’s fucking disgusting that Trump removed Kim Kardashian‘s contribution in an effort to pander to Black people.

Ok, for those who missed it, Trump and company secured some ad time during last night’s Super Bowl. Anyway, in the commercial, Trump tried to highlight his “mark” on criminal justice reform. Essentially, he took sole credit for freeing Johnson, a Black woman who served 21 years in prison for a nonviolent drug offense. Now, I’m not a hater and I give props were necessary. But, Kardashian wasn’t mentioned AT ALL in the ad and SHE was the one who brought this case to the public’s attention.

Listen, regardless of whether people like her or not, Kardashian has made it a point to advocate for federal prisoners. Hell, in addition to Johnson, Kardashian has helped fund the 90 Days of Freedom Campaign, which has freed 17 more prisoners that I know of since last year. In any case, this isn’t some random cause that she just breezed by, bruh. With that being said, Johnson’s case only entered Trump’s orbit because of Kardashian’s notoriety and persistence. Yes, Trump had to sign on the dotted line, but let’s not pretend like this was part of his criminal justice platform. Frankly, as a Black person, the pandering is fucking gross, son.

In the end, I feel like that ad was more for White people than for Black people. Ultimately, I believe that Trump wants to show his base that he “cares about minorities.” However, we’re not as dumb as he might think we are, man. By and by, people like me can read right through the tomfoolery, fam. At the end of the day, a publicity stunt should never be confused with an actual movement, bruh. The truth is, Donald Trump never gave a fuck about Alice Marie Johnson, brethren. He just thought it would be a good way to ingratiate himself with the Black community. All I know is, it ain’t fucking work, dummy. That is all. LC out.

A Letter To Ari Shaffir

Dear Ari Shaffir,

So, instead of just flying off of the handle from the rip, I want to actually get a sense of what’s going on in your head. Like, I’ll never understand why some people think it’s cool to joke about death. With that being said, I’m honestly not here to talk to you about your feelings regarding Kobe Bryant. Instead, I genuinely want to know if you have a soul at all. The way I see it, no “joke” is worth coming off as a subhuman piece of sewer shit.

Ok, to be fair, you’ve been talking shit about Bryant for years. Frankly, ever since his rape charges were dropped, you’ve been VERY vocal about how you believe he got away with a crime. Now, even though you’re clearly not a fan of the man, I was still taken aback by the fuckery you spewed on Twitter and Instagram. Son, you were literally celebrating the fact that Bryant died. Apparently, his death is a “good story” and you shouted out the “hero who forgot to gas up his chopper.” Furthermore, for some reason, you thought it was appropriate to profess your hatred of the Los Angeles Lakers.

Now, keeping it a buck, I don’t even know where to begin, man. Look, as I said above, you can feel however you want to feel about Kobe Bryant. But, you fuck-face, eight other people died on that damn helicopter! Did you hate Gianna Bryant too? Did you also hate Christina Mauser? Did you hate Ara Zobayan, the Altobelli and Chester families as well? Is your hatred of one man so strong that you’re content with the demise of several teenagers and their parents? Good fucking Lord, you’re literally one of the worst fucking people I’ve ever witnessed in my life, bruh. All in all, if you think that Bryant’s death was karma, just wait until that shit comes back on you, dumbass. All I know is, I’d bet money that almost no one will cry for you.

In the end, good luck with those “jokes,” son. Ultimately, being an asshole has brought you greater visibility than any of your comedy routines, man. By and by, I hope you run into any of the family members from the people you’ve disrespected. All I can say is, sometimes street justice is the best form of justice, bruh. At the end of the day, I’m not telling you to care about Kobe Bryant. But, if other innocent lives don’t matter to you, then who’s the REAL evil person here? That is all.

Sincerely,

A dude who only knows that you exist because of Joe Rogan