Phil Jackson Wants To Destroy The New York Knicks

So, to be clear, the New York Knicks are the worst organization in professional sports. I mean, over the last 20 years, tortured fans, such as myself, have had to deal with the highest levels of managerial incompetence. Whether we’re talking about James Dolan or Isiah Thomas, the Knicks never fail to make awful, awful, AWFUL decisions. As of right now, Jackson is trying to outdo ALL of his predecessors when it comes to fuckery. All I can say is, if Jackson actually trades Kristaps Porzingis, I will finally give up being a Knicks fan.

Now, I want Jackson to understand one truth: no one gives a fuck that Porzingis skipped his exit interview. Frankly, he’s tired of the team’s tomfoolery, man. So far, in his two seasons, he’s had to deal with copious amounts of losing. In addition, he’s also had to watch Jackson consistently disrespect Carmelo Anthony, the team’s best player. Look, why would any player be excited about their future in this city? The Knicks have made NO efforts to actually improve the squad. On the real, when I heard that Porzingis bailed on his interview, I completely understood, son. Honestly, I probably would’ve done the same exact thing.

Moving on, this clown Jackson really had the nerve to say he wants to do “what’s best for the club.” Well, if that’s the case, how the FUCK would getting rid of Porzingis help us?! Man, we’re talking about a dude that everyone compares to Dirk Nowitzki. Keep in mind, when we look at both players at this stage in their respective careers, Porzingis has already surpassed Nowitzki. Through two seasons, he’s better than Dirk in almost every statistical category. Yeah, that’s right, son. As it stands, Porzingis is outpacing an NBA legend who’s won a title and scored 30,000 points. Needless to say, why the FUCK would we trade him?! It makes absolutely no sense, fam!

Listen, I have a conspiracy theory, son. Now, when Jackson was a player, he played for the Knicks. In fact, he was on the only two teams that have won titles in our franchise’s history. Keeping it a buck, I think he’s sabotaging us in order to keep his rings sacred. I mean, I believe he only took this job for the money. I don’t think he really gives a fuck whether this works or not. In the end, he’ll take his cash, figure out a way to reconcile with Jeanie Buss and leave our city in ruins. By and by, this man needs to be stopped, fam!

Ultimately, this team has caused me enough pain. Bruh, even when we were good in the 1990s, I always knew our seasons would end in heartbreak. All in all, I can’t take this shit anymore, son. Real talk, trading Porzingis would be the straw that broke the camel’s back, man. Look, he’s the first good draft pick we’ve had in eons. If he leaves, then I leave. I have nothing else to give to this team. Fuck off, Phil! LC out.

Floyd Mayweather Is Gonna Put Them Paws On Conor McGregor

So, to begin, I can’t believe that this fight is actually happening, son. Like, I’m truly baffled by the fact that Floyd Mayweather is really going to battle Conor McGregor. All I know is, McGregor’s team clearly doesn’t care about him, man. Dana White and the UFC clearly don’t care about him. Ultimately, Mayweather is going to beat the dog shit out of McGregor. All in all, Conor better enjoy that money because the ass-kicking is about to be so real.

Now, can we all keep it a buck for a second? Look, these two men are about to engage in a boxing match on August 26. So, this isn’t an MMA bout, fam. Meaning, McGregor is about to walk into the ring and try to beat a man that no other professional boxer has ever beaten. Bruh, that’s literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Side note, I’m not even a Mayweather fan, but facts are facts, son. Anyway, that logic is equivalent to Alex Rodriguez thinking he can beat Michael Jordan one-on-one. Sure, he’s a legendary baseball player, but what the fuck does that have to do with basketball, bruh? Ok, yes, Mayweather and McGregor are both fighters, but their respective sports are very, VERY different, man. It just is what it is.

Real talk, I’m just trying to figure out why anyone thought this fight was a good idea in the first place. Is it supposed to compare the validity of MMA verses boxing? Honestly, I don’t think that debate could ever be settled, man. Look, if Mayweather stepped inside the octagon, I feel like McGregor would mollywhop his ass. However; this event is taking place in a boxing ring. Meaning, this is Mayweather’s bread and butter, fam. On the real, there’s literally NO WAY McGregor can beat him in this realm.

In the end, I’m still going to watch the fight, son. I mean, I’m a sucker for the spectacle, man. In any case, McGregor better do A LOT more practicing, fam. Listen, I saw the sparring video that recently came out. By and by, if he lets Mayweather hit him like that, then he might not make it out of the second round, bruh. Anyway, I’m absolutely here for the tomfoolery, kid. Viva la nonsense! LC out.

The Worst NBA Playoffs Ever

So, to begin, this post isn’t an indictment on the Golden State Warriors or the Cleveland Cavaliers. Well, not entirely, son. In actuality, today’s sermon is an indictment on the rest of the NBA. I mean, c’mon son! Where was the competition this year, man?! Look, let’s be real for a second, fam. Did anyone really believe that the Finals would feature two different teams? Yeah, I didn’t think so, bruh. All I know is, the remaining NBA teams need to start pulling their collective weight. Otherwise, there isn’t any need to have seasons anymore.

Now, let’s review this year’s playoffs, man. The Dubs and the Cavs entered the Finals with a combined 24-1 record. Like, that’s just stupid, son. Realistically, there weren’t any teams that could stand up to these dudes in either conference. The Washington Wizards can talk all of the shit they want, but they couldn’t get pass the Boston Celtics, bruh. Also, speaking of the Celtics, they literally had one fluke win against the Cavs. Other than that, the entire series was complete and utter domination.

Moving on, I originally heard all of these theories about how the Toronto Raptors would give the Cavs static. Man, those fools couldn’t even rattle off a competent game, fam. On the flip side, the Houston Rockets were supposed to be able to challenge the Dubs. Well, James Harden looked like a scrub for most of that series. In addition, even if Kawhi Leonard never got injured, I’d bet money that the San Antonio Spurs couldn’t win more than two games against the Warriors. Ultimately, outside of some devastating injury or an ill-advised trade, the Cavs and the Dubs will probably keep facing each other in the Finals. All I know is, it’s a fucking buzz kill, bruh.

Keeping it a buck, I was a baby in the 1980‘s, so I can’t talk about the matchup between the Larry Bird-led Celtics and the Magic Johnson-led Los Angeles Lakers. So, maybe this is how people felt during that era too. In any case, I was of age during the Michael Jordan era. Now, even though MJ won all of those titles, at least the games were competitive, man. Look, there was absolutely NO competition in this year’s playoffs, son. The outcome was essentially a foregone conclusion. By and by, the NBA needs to improve in order to keep my attention, fam.

In the end, I just want to see good basketball, bruh. That’s it. All jokes aside, only Warriors or Cavs “fans” could have possibly enjoyed this postseason. Side note, I put “fans” in quotations because NONE of these new clowns are really fans. Listen, don’t talk to me about the Dubs if Run TMC doesn’t ring a bell. Don’t talk to me about the Cavs if Mo Williams doesn’t conjure up memories of mediocrity. Anyway, now is the time for teams to “tool up,” word to Marlo Stanfield. On the real, the game can’t survive in its current form, man. I was fucking bored this season, son. *Sigh* LC out.

LBJ To Miami vs. KD To Golden State

So, I guess I’m about to jump into this debate, huh? I mean, ever since Kevin Durant joined the Golden State Warriors, people have compared his decision to LeBron James going to the Miami Heat. Look, enough is enough, man. Now, on face value, their respective decisions may seem “similar,” but in reality, they’re drastically different. With that being said, it’s time for me to dispel this myth, fam.

First, let’s start with LeBron. The year before he joined the Heat, his Cleveland Cavaliers team had a 61-21 record. They were the top team in the Eastern Conference and we all thought they going to meet Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA Finals. However; LeBron and company ran into the Boston Celtics in the Semifinals. Needless to say, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett gave them that work, fam. By and by, the Cavs fell in six games.

On the flip side, the Heat had a 47-35 record that same season. They were third in their division and fifth in the East. Also, when they got to the playoffs, they lost to the Celtics in the first round and in five games. So, when LeBron switched teams, he wasn’t joining some powerhouse, son. On the real, they only became a juggernaut after he got there, man.

Now, let’s talk about Durant. The year before he joined the Warriors, his team had a 55-27 record. They were first in their division and third in the Western Conference. Now, here’s where they story gets stupid, fam. His team had a 3-1 lead over the Warriors in the Conference Finals, but then KD CHOKED! Shit, people love to blame Russell Westbrook for everything, but these same people ignore the fact that KD went 10-31 from the field in a Game 6. Keep in mind, the game was in Oklahoma City and it would’ve ended the series. So, if KD didn’t fall flat on his face, then he might’ve won a ring with the Thunder.

Once again, on the flip side, the Warriors had a 73-9 record that same season. Now, for anyone counting, that’s the best regular season record in NBA history. Honestly, they only went after KD because they choked against the Cavs in the Finals and gave up their own 3-1 lead. So, two factions of chokers decided to band together to ensure they don’t fail again.

Ok, now that I’ve laid out all of the information, let me sum this up for everyone. LeBron went to a weaker team and helped to turn them into a champion. Durant went to a championship caliber team, a squad he personally lost to, in hopes of getting that elusive ring. Keeping it a buck, I really don’t see how people compare these two moves. They don’t resemble each other at all, son. By and by, KD took the easiest way out. It just is what it is, fam.

In the end, I’m tired of defending LeBron, son. Listen, I’m not even a Cavs fan, bruh! Ultimately, I’m sick of people making assertions without any type of discernible context. All in all, everyone needs to do some basic research before they speak. That way, they don’t seem as dumb when they present their “hot takes.” In any case, the Finals will probably end tonight, man. We all need to enjoy them while they last. LC out.

Hey, Cleveland: Don’t Get Swept

Now, as I’m sure everyone can see, the Cleveland Cavaliers are not going to defend their NBA title. I mean, keeping it a buck, the Finals were over before they even began, man. Ok, yes, I’m fully aware of what happened last season, but there’s NO WAY a Golden State Warriors team with Kevin Durant, Stephen Curry AND Klay Thompson could lose, son. With that being said, as of right now, the Cavs should have one goal: don’t get swept. Look, the Dubs are marching towards history and LeBron James and company don’t want to be on the wrong side of that story, fam.

So, after last night’s game, the Warriors are now 15-0 in this year’s playoffs. In addition, out of those 15 wins, they’ve won 12 of those games by double digits. I mean, that shit is plain ridiculous, son. As it stands, if/when they win Game 4 on Friday, they’ll be the first team in NBA history to go undefeated in the playoffs. Side note, if/when that happens, I’m going to write an entire post about why this was the worst postseason ever. In any case, the Cavs need to make sure that doesn’t happen, son. Listen, I truly doubt that the defending champions could live with themselves if they got blanked on the highest stage, man.

Ultimately, nothing else needs to be said here. Look, the objective is “simple,” son: don’t get swept, Cleveland. Now, for clarification, I put “simple” is quotations because there’s not a damn thing easy about beating these Warriors, fam. I mean, look at what KD did to them last night, bruh. The Cavs were up by seven in the final minutes and that seven-foot mic stand just killed their hopes and dreams. Anyway, I wouldn’t bet a single dollar on this, but I believe the Cavs will win Game 4. In the end, that’ll be as close as they get to a championship, man. LC out.

Get Jason Whitlock The F*ck Outta Here!

Ok, to be clear, I don’t like Jason Whitlock, son. On the real, in addition to his preposterous social commentary, his sports analysis is also pretty trash. However; I’m not here to talk about some basketball “hot take” right now. In actuality, Whitlock needs to get flamed for the fuck shit he said about LeBron James and racism. Ultimately, these networks need to stop letting their “token” Black guys speak for the community. All I know is, Jason Whitlock doesn’t speak for me or anyone who thinks like me.

Now, for anyone who missed it, LeBron made the news the other day for something outside of ball. Apparently, some piece of shit racist thought it was a good idea to write “nigger” on his Los Angeles home. Thankfully, neither he or his family were present. Anyway, after this ordeal, LeBron was very candid with the media about the ramifications of this act. He spoke about how racism will always be a problem in America, regardless of an individual’s monetary status. In any case, with all of that being said, Jason Whitlock found a way to disagree.

So, in response to LeBron’s comments, Whitlock asserted that LeBron doesn’t face racism because he’s rich. Apparently, when a minority adds a couple of zeroes to their net worth, prejudice and bigotry just magically disappear. I guess Whitlock is not familiar with the story of Dr. Dre being falsely accused of brandishing a gun and getting handcuffed in his own driveway. I guess he’s not familiar with the story of Wyclef Jean getting handcuffed in a case of mistaken identity. I guess he’s not familiar with the story of Just Blaze getting pulled over by police and questioned about the “legitimacy” of his vehicle. Nah, I guess rich Black people never have any problems at all, son.

Listen, I’m not going to be the one to sit here and pretend like rich people deal with the same issues as the disenfranchised. However; material possessions don’t change people’s viewpoints. If a White person hates minorities, a bank account statement is not going to change that. In fact, writing “nigger” on LeBron’s house is a reminder that his money doesn’t matter. In the heart of the person who wrote it, LeBron is still considered “less than.” So, cut the fucking shit, Whitlock!

In the end, Black people like Jason Whitlock make me sick. If he doesn’t want to engage in racial issues, then just shut the fuck up, man! Clearly, we don’t need him on our journey towards equality. By and by, like LaVar Ball said, Whitlock shouldn’t comment on “anything but snacks.” Now, I’ll just sit back and let the “body shaming” brigade come and get me for that last comment. LC out.

Who’s The G.O.A.T.? Michael Jordan vs. LeBron James

So, let me begin this post by saying that Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all time. However; the LeBron James slander needs to stop, son. Look, whether people want to admit it or not, LeBron deserves to be in the G.O.A.T. conversation now. I mean, the numbers don’t lie and the ball don’t lie either, man. Frankly, the NBA has never seen a player like LeBron, and it’s about time we give him his damn respect.

Now, before I continue, let me keep it a buck with everyone. To be real, I wasn’t always a LeBron fan. In fact, during his last season with the Cleveland Cavaliers (the first time) and his first season with the Miami Heat, I thought he was a sucker, son. Look, the man quit against the Boston Celtics in the 2010 Semifinals and played like pure ass against the Dallas Mavericks in the 2011 Finals. Needless to say, at that particular time, I questioned his heart.

With that all of that being said, this dude has completely dominated the league since his arrival. All jokes aside, LeBron’s ability should NEVER be questioned, bruh. Listen, MJ may be the NBA version of the Bogeyman, but LeBron is actually better than him in a few notable areas. All in all, LeBron is a better passer, a better rebounder and a more efficient scorer than MJ. Don’t believe me? Just look at the statistics, son. It just is what it is, man.

Moving on, LeBron is also a better defender than Jordan. Yes, I said it. Big whoop, wanna fight about it? Look, if we’re being real here, Scottie Pippen was the best defender on those old Chicago Bulls teams. He was the one who always had the toughest defensive assignment. Don’t believe me again? Well, go back and watch the 1991 Finals. Who was the one guarding Magic Johnson most of the time? That’s right, Pippen, son. Now, don’t get me wrong, MJ was a genius at playing the passing lanes. However; LeBron can legitimately guard every position on the court. Give that man his just due, fam.

Ok, with all of that being said, people really slander LeBron when it comes to rings. I mean, I can’t count how many times I’ve seen fools say “he only has three rings.” Only? Only?! Man, how many legends are in the Hall of Fame with NO rings or ONE championship? Shit, even when people compare LeBron to Kobe Bryant, they bring up the fact that Kobe has two more rings than LeBron. Well, LeBron has more Finals MVP‘s than Kobe because Kobe won his first three titles with a li’l ol’ player named Shaquille O’Neal. Kobe wasn’t even the best player on his own team during those years, bruh. Stop it, fam.

When it comes to Jordan, people like to pretend like all he ever did was win. Why does no one ever bring up the fact that he lost to the Detroit Pistons three years in a row? Three years in a row, man! In actuality, MJ only beat that team once, fam. Granted, he did it on the way to his first title, but he was never infallible in the playoffs. As a matter of fact, before his title runs, critics weren’t even sure if he had what it took to win it all. So, why do we criticize LeBron for making all of these Finals, but let MJ slide for repeatedly losing to the same team? That makes absolutely no sense, son.

In the end, I’m not trying to take away from Jordan’s greatness. I still believe he’s the greatest. However; when people put LeBron’s name in that conversation, it really isn’t as crazy as some would like us to believe. Ultimately, if LeBron can somehow magically beat the Golden State Warriors again, it might be time for everyone to rearrange their G.O.A.T. list. That is all. LC out.