This Jasmine Eiland Video Is Unbelievable

So, I won’t lie, son. It’s very rare that I’m at a loss for words, man. But, that’s how I feel right now. I mean, that Jasmine Eiland video is NUTS, fam! Like, absolutely nuts, bruh. Real talk, I’m upset that I even watched the clip, folks. All I know is, heads need to roll for what happened to that young lady. Frankly, I have no idea how some shit like this could even transpire, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, a disturbing video has been making its rounds on social media. Now, while clubbing at Opera Atlanta, Eiland was on Facebook Live. At first, she appeared to be chopping it up with some random dude. In addition, she looked very intoxicated. Anyway, at some point, the guy positioned himself behind her. From there… look, I’m sure everyone can figure out where I’m going with this, son. All I can say is, Eiland can be heard saying “please help me” and “stop” MULTIPLE times.

Now, I don’t even know where to begin, man. First, is that dude fucking serious, fam?! Like, he was really that brazen in the middle of a damn nightclub? Second, why didn’t ANYONE help that woman?! Shit, what part of the game is letting an assault go down in the open, bruh? Third, what the hell is wrong with everyone blaming Eiland?! Listen, I don’t care about how she was dressed or how much she had to drink. Hell, I don’t even care if she was giving that dude vibes before. There’s literally NO excuse for what he appeared to do to her in that club, son!

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, man. Ultimately, I’m thoroughly disturbed and disgusted, fam. By and by, I can’t believe this type of shit is really happening out here, bruh. Furthermore, I still can’t believe the lengths that people will go to blame the victim, son. At the end of the day, everyone sucks. All in all, I just hope Eiland’s attacker is put under the jail, brethren. That is all. LC out.

P.S. I want everybody to take my advice and stay away from that video. On the real, it made me sick to my stomach, son. So, don’t do it, people. You’re welcome.

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Jeff Bezos Was Trippin’ Trippin’

So, let me keep it a buck, son. If I was worth $137 billion, I wouldn’t risk half of that for some “not my wife” box, man. I mean, COTDAMN, fam! Jeff Bezos was out here wilin’, bruh! Now, to be honest, there are a lot of conflicting stories in these streets. All I know is, Bezos is getting divorced and he was doing some inappropriate shit with another woman. The way I see it, he better pray that his soon-to-be ex-wife doesn’t take him to the cleaners, folks.

Ok, for those who missed it, Jeff Bezos, the ungodly rich CEO of Amazon, is getting divorced from his wife, MacKenzie Bezos. Now, allow me to put some of the ramifications in perspective, son. So, the couple got married in 1993. Bezos started Amazon in 1994. They never signed a prenuptial agreement and they got married in Seattle, Washington. Meaning, MacKenzie may be entitled to half of his money. Furthermore, half of $137 billion is roughly $67 billion. Anyway, if this were to happen, MacKenzie would automatically become the fifth richest person in the world. Like, sheesh, man!

In any case, the previous paragraph alone is worthy enough to be a story, fam. However, shit gets even murkier, bruh. Apparently, Bezos was also fraternizing with a woman who was not his wife. To make matters worse, this outside woman, Lauren Sanchez, is also married. According to the story, it was Sanchez’ husband who discovered that the affair was happening. Shit, it appears that Bezos was talking brazy about sex in some text messages and even sent some wild selfies. Like, could Bezos be any more reckless, son? All in all, Amazon can’t deliver him out of this predicament, man.

In the end, this has to be the most expensive affair ever, fam. To be fair, “sources” close to the Bezos family are claiming that Jeff and MacKenzie were separated before he started dealing with Sanchez. All I can say is, if my signature isn’t on some divorce documents, I’m not willing to risk it, bruh. Ultimately, losing half of a fortune has GOTTA hurt, son. Then again, I can’t really cry for a dude who’ll still be one of the five wealthiest people, man. *Sigh* Can I just hold a billion, Jeff? Just one? Thanks in advance. LC out.

Raising Sons In The #MeToo Era

So, before I even begin, let me keep it a buck, son. Now, as of today, both of my sons are under 10 years old. Meaning, I’m not even ready for them to be dating in any capacity, man. Shit, if it ain’t about Nintendo or comic books, my brain can’t handle it, fam. Real talk, I thought about locking my oldest son in his room when he told my wife and I that he had a girlfriend last year. But, that’s another story, bruh. In any case, as a father who’s responsible for raising two boys, there are some things they need to understand in the #MeToo era.

Ok, before I continue, it’s story time, son. Now, one particular night as a freshman in college, I thought I was going to get lucky. It was a Friday night and I was playing wingman for my homie. Anyway, during the course of getting ripped on brown liquor, this girl started kissing me. Moving on, I happened to catch a glance at her eyes and she looked like she was on another planet. Like, the alcohol had REALLY taken a toll on her, man. From there, I stopped the make-out session, helped her get in bed and went back to my room. The next day, she thanked me for looking out for her.

Now, I didn’t tell that story to look like some good dude, fam. Honestly, I thought it was common sense to not get down with someone who was clearly compromised. However, as time went on, I learned that I might be in the minority, bruh. Shit, it’s 2019 and I’m still taken aback by a lot of the stories that women have told me, son. On the real, I have no idea why consent is such a foreign concept to some guys, man. All I know is, it’s my responsibility to let my boys know that no one owes them anything.

Real talk, consent goes beyond “no means no,” fam. Power dynamics matter. Age differences matter. Hell, judging by the story I just told, intoxication matters, bruh. All I can say is, I want my sons to avoid any potential grey areas, man. Yeah, life can be confusing at times, but there should never be any question on if somebody wants to bump uglies. All in all, it’s my job to prepare my children for what they may face in the real world. Hopefully, I don’t righteously fuck them up, brethren.

In the end, I’m no genius, son. Frankly, I’m a moron who’s figuring out this parenting shit as I go, man. However, my kids’ behavior will be a reflection of the values that I’ve instilled in them. With that being said, I don’t want them to contribute to the problem, fam. Ultimately, I want them to thrive in the #MeToo and #TimesUp era. I want them to be examples of how to conduct oneself in these serious times. At the end of the day, I definitely have my work cut out for me, bruh. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Shout-out to my brother BK for giving me the idea for this post. Salute, my guy! Good day.

The Uncomfortable Truth About Older Guys & Young Girls

So, let’s be real, son. By now, I’m pretty sure a large number of us have watched Lifetime’s Surviving R. Kelly documentary. I mean, what else needs to be said, man? Robert Sylvester Kelly is a fucking creep, fam! Also, water is wet, bruh. But, Kelly isn’t the subject of today’s post, people. Well, not exactly. Instead, he’s the inspiration for a broader conversation that needs to be had, folks. Namely, all of the other old ass dudes who continue to do what Kelly has done. The fact is, he isn’t the only older guy who has shown a propensity for younger girls.

Ok, before I continue, let me tell everyone a quick story. So, back in the sixth grade, I was uber corny, son. Like, I had glasses, braces and wack ass clothes, man. Shit, with all of my powers combined, I was traaaaash, fam. Anyway, there was a girl in my class who I was enamored with. Now, despite my place on the social totem pole, I shot my shot at her, bruh. Needless to say, I got turned down. However, she wasn’t rough about it. In actuality, she told me that she had a boyfriend and couldn’t mess with me in that way.

Moving on, one day after school, her boyfriend was waiting for her. In fact, he was waiting in his Acura Legend and he was a junior at our neighboring high school. All I know is, he was 17 years old when she was 11. Now, at the time, I didn’t really comprehend what was going on, son. Partly because I was young and partly because this wasn’t an isolated case. In fact, I knew a number of classmates who were in similar situations, man. Hell, it was “normal” for a hot chick to be “dating” an older dude. Little did we know it was weird as fuck, fam. As time went on, I noticed the same behavior, bruh. By the time I was 17, a girl I messed with the year before got pregnant by a 24-year-old drug dealer. Needless to say, we ALL knew it was problematic as shit, brethren.

The point is, there are a ton of R. Kelly’s running around out here, son. Frankly, we have to call ALL of them out, man. Look, I don’t care who they are, where they’re from or what they do. Older dudes have NO business dealing with these young girls, fam. For whatever reason, we sweep a lot of that shit under the rug. But, enough is enough, bruh. All in all, we need to hold EVERYBODY accountable, folks.

In the end, I’m raising a middle finger to all of those nasty ass sumbitches out there. At the end of the day, they need to go find some women their own damn age, son. Ultimately, we need to let children and teenagers be children and teenagers, man. By and by, they’re not here for some older loser’s deviance, fam. That is all. LC out.

I Almost Disowned My Mother Over Stan Lee

So, allow me to keep it a buck for a second, son. Real talk, if anyone doesn’t understand how legendary Stan Lee was/is, then I really don’t want to know that person. Taking it a step further, if I have a friend/family member who doesn’t comprehend Lee’s GOAT‘ness, then I’m not sure that I can continue our relationship. I mean, Lee was The Gawd, man! Seriously, where the fuck would Marvel Comics or the overall zeitgeist be if Lee never existed, fam? Shit, I don’t even want to imagine such a world. All in all, Rest In Peace to one of the greatest dudes ever!

Ok, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let me explain the title of this post, bruh. So, once upon a time in elementary school, I was a HUGE comic book fan. Side note, I dare someone to test my knowledge on anything before like 2005. Honestly, I’ve got this, son. In any case, around like the third grade, I came across a special comic book: an original edition of Amazing Spider-Man #300. Now, for anyone who is unaware, this issue contains the first full-length appearance of Venom. Moving on, the comic first came out in 1988, but somehow in the early 1990s, I found an original copy. Needless to say, I was fucking HYPED, man!

Anyway, even though Lee didn’t write that particular issue, it’s no secret that Peter Parker was his brainchild. Hell, Parker along with every other Marvel character who has ever mattered, fam. All I can say is, getting ahold of Venom’s first foray meant EVERYTHING to me, bruh! On the real, I read that comic once and put it back in the plastic, son. Listen, I didn’t want to risk creasing it, man.

Now, fast forward to my freshman year of boarding school. I came home for my first vacation and noticed my room looked a little different. Most notably, my bookcase seemed to be missing all of my comic books. To add insult to injury, I definitely noticed that Spider-Man #300 was missing. From there, I asked my mom where my comics were and she uttered four words that changed our relationship: “I threw them out.” I immediately asked her why she would do such a thing and she said “you’re a teenager now, I figured you wouldn’t want them anymore.” All I know is, that might’ve been the only time I legitimately wanted to hit my own mother with the Stone Cold Stunner.

Look, I told that story to highlight one main point: Stan Lee invented a universe that I NEEDED to be a part of. Like, he created characters with nuance, fam. He created characters with ethos. For God‘s sake, he based Professor X and Magneto on Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X! What else do people need to know, bruh?! Yeah, these heroes had unreal abilities, but a lot of them had VERY real problems, son. Keeping it a buck, what awkward teenager couldn’t relate to Peter Parker? Being a superhero didn’t absolve him from the trash-ness of high school, man. The fact is, Lee built a world that all of us could identify with AND get lost in.

In the end, RIP to the greatest! Ultimately, his influence will forever be solidified. By and by, Marvel is stronger than ever and it’s directly because of his influence. At the end of the day, legends never die, fam. Long live Stan Lee! That is all. LC out.

P.S. Man, I still don’t know if I’ve forgiven my mom. Look, I just Google‘d the price of an original copy of that Spider-Man issue and got mad all over again. *Sigh* Her and I need to have another discussion, son. Good day.

Ian David Long: When ‘Thoughts & Prayers’ Don’t Work

So, I’m going to start today’s post a little different, son. Normally, I would give some intro about what I was going to talk about. But, before I say anything, I want people to read what Ian David Long wrote in a Facebook post the other day. So, here we go:

I hope people call me insane .. wouldn’t that just be a big ball of irony? Yeah… I’m insane, but the only thing you people do after these shootings is ‘hopes and prayers’.. or ‘keep you in my thoughts’ … every time… and wonder why these keep happening …

Now, to be clear, these are the words of a Marine veteran who shot and killed 12 people at the Borderline Bar & Grill in Thousand Oaks, California. Look, in one post, a mass murderer destroyed our country’s indifference to gun control AND mental health. Real talk, after every incident, politicians send out “thoughts and prayers,” but never do anything to remedy the situation. Sadly, Ian Long knew this, man.

At this point, no one knows why Long committed these killings, fam. I mean, there’s speculation that he suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder after his time in Afghanistan. Shit, if that’s the case, should he have been allowed to legally purchase a .45-caliber Glock handgun? Listen, these are the type of scenarios that reasonable people think about when asking for gun reform. Real talk, I’m not one of those folks who think that nobody should have a firearm. I just want to make sure that the ones who do are in their right fucking mind. Clearly, Long was not one of those individuals, bruh.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, son. Ultimately, I can’t definitively say that I know the reason for all of these mass shootings. Is it gun control? Is it mental health? Is it terrorism? Is it a combination of all of the above? I don’t fucking know, man. All I know is, this “thoughts and prayers” shit isn’t working, fam. With that being said, I’m tired of all of the partisan bullshit. At the end of the day, our elected officials need to get to the bottom of the issue and nip this shit in the bud, bruh. For God‘s sake, how many more people have to die? *Sigh* Rest In Peace to all of the victims, brethren. Once again, a group of innocent people died for no reason. LC out.

My 500th Post

So, I won’t lie, son. I don’t really have anything weighing on my mind today, man. Well, that’s not true at all. I mean, I have a million things on my mind, but nothing that I feel the need to write about, fam. Instead, I just want to take this time to thank any and everybody who supports this raggedy ass blog, bruh. Shit, as of today, I’ve reached 500 posts, brethren. Real talk, that’s a lot of fucking writing, folks. All I can say is, I wouldn’t have kept this up if people didn’t hold me down. Hell, every time I’ve wanted to quit, someone would randomly give me a word that I needed to hear. With that being said, I just want to acknowledge the fact that I don’t take any of it for granted. In the end, I’m going to do my best to make sure my shit ain’t trash, people. Love y’all! That is all. LC out.