Who Pissed In Kid Cudi’s Cereal?

Man, what would Twitter be if it wasn’t a venue for celebrities to lose their shit in a barrage of 140 characters? Honestly, ain’t that the best part of following public figures on social media, son? With that being said, I’d like to thank Kid Cudi for throwing all types of shots at Kanye West and Drake yesterday. While I’m not sure who rubbed their nuts on Cudi’s Corn Flakes, I’m absolutely here for the show, bro. Now, let’s get to it.

Now, I have to be honest, son, I don’t know where to start with this story. This is mainly because it has so many layers and they’re all hilarious. So, apparently, Cudi stubbed his toe on a staircase bannister and then decided to fire off some tweets. At first, Cudi spoke in generalizations about artists who consider themselves Top 5 despite having “30 people” write for them. He continued to wax poetically about how the “fake ones” won’t last and he even used my favorite word in the universe: fuckery. Now, even though he shouted out artists like A$AP Rocky and Travis Scott, he made it perfectly clear his derision was aimed at Kanye and Drake.

While I have no idea what these two dudes did to Cudi, he firmly declared the notion that neither one of them care about him. In his mind, they only needed him when he had something to offer them. Furthermore, he believes they only kept him close because of how “powerful” he is. Look, it sounds like a bunch of BFF beef to me, but I can’t fault a man for feeling the way he feels. However; that doesn’t mean I can’t laugh at how emotional these tweets are, bro. I mean, let’s be real, Cudi did the same thing on Twitter that Kanye does on a regular basis. At this point, Kanye is Regal Ruler of Random Ranting and Rambling. No wonder him and Cudi were friends for so long, son.

With all of that being said, there was NO way word was going to get back to Kanye without a response. During his Saint Pablo tour stop in Tampa, Yeezy decided to respond to his former protégé. After a flurry of comments like “I birthed you” and “don’t never mention Ye name,” Kanye expressed being hurt because he was the first one to be called names for wearing skinny jeans. Ok, he didn’t necessarily say that was the only reason he was upset, but c’mon son, he literally brought up wearing skinny jeans first. So, a former mentee airs him out and that’s one of the first things that comes to his mind? I swear, Kanye is one of the funniest human beings on the planet, son. Any man that can mention skinny jeans and Malcolm X is adjoining sentences is a genius, bro.

In the end, can’t we all just get along, man? Look, I’ll give Cudi his credit, son. While I’m not his biggest fan, I’m well aware of the wave he started. He was a driving force behind Kanye’s 808s & Heartbreak, which essentially created Drake’s whole aesthetic. So, yeah, his influence can’t be denied. However; I don’t see how this ends well for him. I mean, regardless of what Cudi puts out musically, I doubt it can harm the reign of Drake and Kanye. In case he forgot, they’re the two biggest rappers on the planet. And no, this isn’t up for debate, son. They just are. It is what it is, bro. Good day.

P.S. I know Drake responded to Cudi too, but I can’t help but shoulder shrug, son. Once again, he takes shots onstage, but he probably ain’t got no bars for Cudi. Until then, miss me with the jokes. I’m out.

Racism, As Told By Lil Wayne

*Sigh* Do I really have to do this again, son? Didn’t I explain this already in “Money Can’t Buy ‘Woke’“? Wait, didn’t I also cover this in “Can I Live In Cam Newton’s America?” Seriously, what in the flying fuck is wrong with some of our Black celebrities, man? Their monetary privilege has blinded them so much that they simply can’t seem to relate to others who aren’t as fortunate. Well, all I know is, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I let this stupidity slide. With that being said, let’s get to it.

Now, Lil Wayne was recently on Skip Bayless’ new sports show, Undisputed, and decided to hit the world with his hot take on race relations. According to him, not only has he never experienced racism in his entire life, but he also doubts prejudice even exists because the crowds at his concerts are mostly White.

So, let me get this straight, son. Simply because Todd and Rachel know the words to his songs, racial injustice is just a figment of our collective imaginations? Well, shit, why didn’t someone tell me sooner, son? If I knew that’s all it took to abolish racism, I would’ve dropped my album ages ago! Here I was thinking someone from New Orleans would be aware of racial bias, but little did I know, idiocy knows no bounds, man. I guess we should completely forget the fact his OWN city was destroyed by a hurricane and the government didn’t think to send aid for multiple days. His OWN people suffered under these conditions but racism doesn’t exist. Ok, Wayne. Ok, son.

Now, to be honest, I’ll be the first to admit, I can’t speak for another human being’s experience. Maybe, in his mind, he’s never directly experienced racism. However; even if that’s the case, is he really unaware of what’s happening in the rest of the country? Is he really unaware of our people’s economic condition, our peril at the hands of the prison industrial complex and the countless episodes of police brutality? As always, it’s baffling when notable Black people can’t see what’s happening around them simply because it doesn’t necessarily affect THEIR daily lives.

Look, let me keep it all of the way real, son. The fact of the matter is, if a Black celebrity can’t empathize with the treatment of other minorities because of their own personal privilege, then they’re no better than the White naysayers who completely disregard racial prejudice. In addition, when people like Wayne and Cam Newton make these type of comments, it gives detractors enough confirmation bias to not see the need to improve race relations in this country. With that being said, I can’t emphasize enough how damaging this type of rhetoric is.

In the end, all I know is, I’m not going to listen to a man’s opinion about race when that same man has a documented history of disrespecting dark-skinned women. Oh, of course Wayne doesn’t see racism, because he’s too busy hating on his own people. Massa got Wayne good, son. Real good. Man, get these cartoonish fucking celebrities out of my face, son. Good day.

What Did Bobby Shmurda Do Exactly?

No lie, I’m confused, son. I saw the latest news regarding Bobby Shmurda’s case and I couldn’t help but scratch my head. I’m still not sure about what this dude is in jail for. Now, I’m reading he took a seven-year plea deal and my Rock eyebrow is in full effect. If I were a betting man, I’d put money down on the idea that Bobby and company are about to do a bid over their lyrics. If that’s the case, rappers need to pay CLOSE attention to what’s happening here, son. Shit just got real.

Now, for those who are unaware, Bobby and several of his GS9 associates have been in jail since the end of 2014. After having an amazing year due to the success of “Hot Nigga,” Bobby and his crew were arrested for conspiracy and gun possession charges. The possession charge stems from a gun that was found at a music video shoot. In addition, the conspiracy charges stem from police alleging that Bobby was the “driving force” behind numerous GS9 crimes. As an example, just earlier this year, Rashid Derissant, a noted friend of Shmurda’s, was sentenced to 98 years in prison for multiple shootings. All in all, the cops tried to pin the entire operation on Bobby’s neck. Judging from the plea deal, it looks like they succeeded, to an extent.

Here’s my thing: I have yet to see any evidence regarding Bobby’s direct, or indirect, involvement in criminal activity. From what I see, outside of some violent lyrics and noted associations with a few nefarious characters, police don’t seem to have any proof of wrongdoing. Hell, if the cops are going to put people in jail for knowing a couple of criminals, then I guess I belong behind bars too. Also, in terms of the gun possession charge, how is it that Bobby and his co-defendants all took the L for the same gun? If everyone is being held responsible, that means the cops have no idea who the gun actually belongs to, man. Nah, son, I ain’t sipping the Kool-Aid, bro.

Honestly, I think Bobby’s lawyers pushed him to make this deal. Even in the reports I read, several people overheard the lawyers trying to convince the crew to take the offer. In their eyes, seven years is a lot better than fifty. Now, this may be true, but what actual proof do the prosecutors have in the first place, man? This concession just smells of fear, bro. I think these dudes are just young and scared of the prospect of a lengthy sentence. For me, conspiracy is way too broad of a charge, son. Show me some receipts, man. My analytical side needs it.

Ultimately, while I may not have anything invested in this particular situation, I still find it odd. I didn’t know someone could be the “leader” of a gang based off of some song lyrics. If this is where we are now, more rappers need to realize the gravity of the situation. Watch what you say, bro. No one knows when those rhymes will be used as evidence in a court of law. It’s way too real out here, son. Good day.

Chris Brown: Allergic To Prosperity

Throughout history, there have been many examples of individuals who appear to be allergic to doing the right thing. Whether we’re talking about DMX, Bobby Brown or old school Robert Downey Jr., some people just seem impervious to prospering in life. I think it’s beyond safe to say Chris Brown is one of those individuals. Regardless of how many chances this dude gets, he always seems to find himself in some stew of fuckery. At this point, after his latest run-in with the law, I’ll be very surprised if he doesn’t find himself back in prison. However; this time, it might not be for a small stretch, son.

Ok, look, anyone with an internet connection should be aware of what’s happening with Brown right now. Yesterday, ol’ buddy was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon after Baylee Curran, a former beauty queen, accused him of pulling a gun on her in his home. According to her story, she was “admiring” some of his jewelry when Brown lost his cotdamn mind and pointed a weapon at her. Side note, I put “admiring” in quotes because it appears Curran isn’t new to stealing things and running off on the plug. As it stands now, the NYPD is looking to speak with her regarding a theft at The Plaza Hotel back in 2013.

In any case, after calling 911, the police arrived on the scene and attempted to search Brown’s home. When he demanded that the officers retrieve a search warrant before entering his house, a standoff ensued with the police waiting outside. To make matters even worse, Brown, apparently, threw a duffle bag out of his window, which reportedly had several weapons and drugs inside. On the real, this entire episode sounds like some shit that would happen in an HBO drama, son. I swear, it’s impossible to make this dude’s life up, man. He always finds himself in some type of high-level tomfoolery.

With all of that being said, I literally can’t understand what’s wrong with this dude, man. Even if it comes out this woman was trying to steal a chain or something, why is his first reaction to pull a gun on her? Why is he always showing large amounts of aggression towards women? Why on earth would he be in this kind of predicament with his daughter in the house? Why haven’t any of his handlers stopped him from being HIM yet? Good Lord, man, this guy continues to spiral out of control and no progress is being made. Hell, the man has already gone to prison for being an idiot, so what’s it going to take for him to realize he’s a detriment to himself and everyone else around him? He can’t keep claiming that people are trying to assassinate his character when he doesn’t alter his lifestyle in the slightest. If I spent my days doing drugs, hanging with bum-ass dudes and consorting with questionable women, then yeah, I might be in trouble a lot too. That goes for any of us, bruh.

All I know is, it doesn’t look good for this guy, son. He’s already got a felony on his record, and if he’s convicted of this latest offense, he’ll have yet another one. If this dude isn’t careful, he might completely ruin what’s left of his career. I mean, he’s already destroyed his destiny of being the next Usher, bruh. All in all, he’ll be lucky if he’s able to sing at all after this. Good day.

Did André 3000 Really Diss Drake?


Well, well, well, what do we have here, son? A verse from the one and only André 3000. Now, I’m not being superfluous when I say this, but I really think 3 Stacks has only dropped two verses in my youngest son’s lifetime. Given his reclusive nature, getting two or three verses since the beginning of 2014 is progress, man. With that being said, I’d be remiss if I didn’t over analyze every line on his recent contribution to Frank Ocean‘s Blond album. Namely, did he really come for Drake‘s neck?

First, let me just acknowledge the fact Frank Ocean put out not one but TWO albums last week. After threatening to do harm to pets if he didn’t release a record, Ocean finally honored my request and flooded the market with new tunes. With that being said, everyone reading this should thank me. I made all of this happen, bruh. Side bar, as of right now, I’m not the biggest fan of either Blond or Endless, but I’ll save that hot take for another time, son.

In any case, the real news right now is the speculation behind 3000’s lyrics on “Solo (Reprise).” While he wax poetically on a variety of topics ranging from the hardships of being a woman to police violence, it was his thought process on ghostwriting that raised the world’s collective Rock eyebrow. Towards the end of the song, Dré states “After 20 years in, I’m so naive I was under the impression that everyone wrote they own verses, it’s coming back different and yeah that shit hurts me.” Immediately, social media lost its fucking mind and everyone assumed he was referring to good ol’ Drake.

Now, I have two conflicting thoughts about 3000’s intentions with those bars. On one hand, why the fuck would someone of his magnitude come out of hibernation just to take a swipe at Drake? Dré’s never been the one to do things simply for recognition, and as a longtime fan, I’ve never seen him beef with anyone. In addition, Drake ain’t the only dude who’s used ghostwriters in Hip Hop history. At this point, if anyone is shocked to learn Dr. Dre, Diddy and Kanye West don’t write all of their rhymes, I would question whether they’re familiar with Rap music at all. Hell, even the first Rap hit inadvertently had a ghostwriter, son. Grandmaster Caz wrote the rhyme Big Bank Hank said on The Sugarhill Gang‘s “Rapper’s Delight.” This practice is far from new in Hip Hop, man.

On the other hand, of COURSE he’s talking about Drake, son. Ever since Meek Mill jumped off of the ledge and called Drake out for not penning his own bars, he’s been the most public example of a potentially fradulent rapper. At this point, he’s the main guy getting called out for using other artists’ words. So, who else would really inspire 3000 to take this stance at this particular time? Either way, Drake needs to sit this one out, man. Look, I’ve already said he needed to avoid Eminem like the Zika Virus. Now, he damn sure needs to add 3 Stacks to that list. Any man who can spit the shit he did on “Return of the ‘G’” is not to be fucked with, son.

Ultimately, I’m just glad André found his way into someone’s vocal booth. While I gave up hope for a solo album a long time ago, I’m just happy to know he’s still a fucking animal. Welcome back, 3000. Welcome back. Now, just please put out another record before I have another kid. Thanks and good day.

A Message To Rappers With ‘Lil’ In Their Names

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Look, no matter how objective I am in this post, I know some people out there will call me a hater. Sadly, that’s how shit works in our current world. Any time someone has an opinion about something, they’re automatically labeled a hater. With that being said, fuck all of that because I have something to get off of my chest. So, I’m dedicating this post to some of these new rapper with “Lil” in their names.

Now, while I’ve already mentioned this on my blog before, I’ll freely admit I’m a 30-year-old Black dude. Actually, I’m lying, son. I just had a birthday a couple of week ago, so I’m 31 now. In any case, I still consume Rap music at a furious pace. Judging from my socially conscious and political material, it would be safe to assume I’m a big fan of artists like Kendrick Lamar and J. Cole. However; I’d be remiss if I didn’t speak about the virtues of Rae Sremmurd‘s sermons and also mention the fact I’m the treasurer of the FutureHive. I say all of that to say I have no beef with the current state of music. Well, I have SOME beef, but we can speak about that another time. In actuality, the main problem I have with some of these younger dudes is their plain lack of respect for the artists and producers who came before them. If anyone let them tell it, they’d probably insinuate that they’ve reached stardom completely independent of their predecessors.

To keep it all of the way trill, in this particular post, I’m specifically speaking about Lil Uzi Vert and Lil Yachty. While I’d never tell their fans to dismiss their music, I have a major gripe with the way they’ve responded to their musical elders. First, let me start with Lil Uzi. In an interview with Ebro In The Morning on Hot 97, my mind was blown when I saw Vert’s reaction to Ebro asking him to rhyme over a DJ Premier beat. Ok, I get it, this instrumental probably came out when he was a baby, but the look of disdain and confusion on his face was thoroughly baffling to me. Architects like Preemo were vital to the growth of Rap music, not only musically but also business wise. There was a time when ALL of the biggest rappers HAD to have a Premier beat in order for their album to be official. It’s perfectly ok for the sonic quality of an art form to evolve, but how dare this kid judge a legend of Preemo’s caliber! Ultimately, Uzi WISHES his legacy will last as long as his. Someone tell that dude to holla back in five years and see if he’s even still popping. By then, he’ll probably already be the “old shit” he’s looking down on now.

Next, let’s talk about Lil Yachty. In an interview with Real 92.3, Yachty went on a tangent about the irrelevance of having a “cold 16” and telling “old people” to get over the fact the music has changed. He went even further to let us know that no one was doing “spin moves on cardboard” anymore and he could make a hot song just saying “yah.” Ok, now, where do I start? First, this dude essentially said a rapper doesn’t actually need to be good at rapping anymore. Then, he randomly criticized breakdancing. Shit, that’s already two of the four original elements of Hip Hop, man! I’m surprised he didn’t turn around and tell his DJ he wasn’t shit.

Look, like I said regarding Uzi, there’s nothing wrong with progression. The issue here is these younger dudes literally have no respect for anyone who paved the way for them. Do they think they invented 808‘s or getting turnt? Hell, Juicy J had me wanting to fight people in the club since the ’90s, son. Show some fucking reverence for the people who laid the foundation. Because news flash to these newer artists: there’s literally NOTHING happening out here that doesn’t have an origin in something that preceded it.

In the end, I’ll keep playing my Trap music at ignorant levels in the car. Well, not Uzi or Yachty because I truthfully thought their music sucked even before they made their dumbass comments. Tell them to come talk to me when they’ve had a career even remotely as long as the artists they’re dissing. Good day.

Money Can’t Buy ‘Woke’

Look, I won’t lie, son. This topic has been on my mind for some time now. While I could rail against racial prejudice and institutional bias until I’m blue in the face, sometimes the bullseye needs to be placed squarely on our own chests. With that being said, this post is dedicated to all of the Black celebrities who don’t seem to understand racism. Thank you for proving to us regular folk that money can’t buy “woke.”

While A$AP Rocky may be the face I put on this post, he’s not the only Black celeb who falls into this category. However; let’s just start with him. Now, for those who may be unfamiliar, Rocky caught some heat a few weeks ago regarding his comments about Black Lives Matter. Apparently, in a 2015 interview with Time Out New York, Rocky essentially rebelled against the idea of speaking out against racial injustice. In his mind, he can’t relate to what’s happening to Black people in America because he’s living in Beverly Hills and would rather talk about fashion and the women he’s fucking. Now, at this point, I’m sure there are plenty of dissertations about why these comments are patently absurd, but the problem is, Rocky isn’t the only Black celebrity who feels this way.

When Travi$ Scott was promoting his Rodeo album last year, he did an interview with Clique, a French publication. After the interviewer asked him about the Ferguson protests, Scott simply responded “I don’t really get too involved in the whole political shit.” Now, that statement irked the shit out of me, man. There’s absolutely nothing political about the frequent shootings of individuals who look like HIM. The incredibly sad part about a statement like this is the fact Black public figures seem to think their exempt from unjust treatment. In addition, there also seems to be some misguided belief that since they’re not subjected to the same harsh realities as other minorities, this treatment must not be real. The lack of empathy is completely astounding in their retorts.

I also remember when Bossip interviewed Young Thug on the red carpet of the BET Awards. He was also asked about Mike Brown and the atmosphere in Ferguson, and all that man could talk about was the money he was getting. Honestly, the fact these artists have the ear of our children should be frightening, son. If their ambivalence is passed down to our future generations, we as a community could have a MAJOR problem on our hands.

To be fair, I’m not the first individual to point this trend out. During this year’s BET Awards, Jesse Williams mentioned this same issue in his incredible acceptance speech. While he made a variety of outstanding points, he did specifically mention that we shouldn’t allow ourselves to be distracted by “getting money.” Just because a few individuals are able to occupy a different social category, that doesn’t mean the same treatment has trickled down to the entire race. We can’t lose sight of the fact there are still rampant injustices happening around this country. In addition, we can’t underestimate the strength of public figures speaking out. Frankly, a lot of them have a large enough platform to reach people the everyday crowd can’t. However; there’s an uncomfortable trend of said individuals abandoning the people when they have the chance.

Ultimately, it hurts me to write this type of shit. It hurts me to see our own people distance themselves from us since they no longer share the same daily experiences. No, we don’t need Rocky to be the next Al Sharpton, but it would be helpful for someone in his position to stand with us in solidarity. Side bar, I’m definitely not the biggest Sharpton fan, but I’ll save that for another day. In any case, I guess being on the cover of fashion magazines is more important to Rocky. All I can do is shake my head in disgust, son. Good day.