Kevin Hart Is Having A Bad Month

So, let’s just skip the formalities and get straight to the shits, son. On the real, Kevin Hart is having a bad month, man. First, there’s the car crash. Now, regardless of speculation, here’s what’s being reported. Apparently, a dude named Jared Black was driving Hart’s 1970 Plymouth Barracuda and rolled into a ditch. The story is, Hart and Black were injured in the crash, but Rebecca Broxterman, the third passenger and Eniko Hart‘s personal trainer, was not hospitalized. Anyway, that would be enough to sit out the rest of September. However, Montia Sabbag had a different plan in mind, fam.

Ok, for those who are unfamiliar, Sabbag is the woman that Hart was smashing on candid camera two years ago. Now, at first, she blamed Jonathan Todd Jackson for the entire ordeal. For reference, Jackson is an actor and former friend of Hart’s who tried to swindle Hart for money to retrieve the recording. In any case, back then, Sabbag stated that Hart was a victim like her. All I know is, something must’ve changed in her mind, son.

Moving on, Sabbag, with the “help” of Lisa Bloom, has decided to sue Hart for $60 million. Now, according to Sabbag, Hart conspired with Jackson to record her in order to gain publicity for Hart’s Irresponsible Tour. All I can say is, that’s literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life, man. Like, is she serious, fam? Does she really believe that Kevin Hart, the most famous comedian in the world, needs a hotel sex tape to promote his tour? Real talk, the level of delusional is unprecedented, bruh.

Listen, let me be clear, son. In my eyes, Sabbag has every right to feel like her privacy was invaded. Frankly, no one deserves to have their intimate moments filmed without their consent. But, the idea that Hart needed extra publicity is nonsensical, man. As I stated before, he’s literally the most famous comedian on the planet. Shit, it doesn’t matter if people find him funny or not. The fact is, Kevin Hart is one of the most recognizable celebrities on Earth. There is literally NOTHING Sabbag could do or say to make him more famous than he already is. If anything, we looked at Hart like a cotdamn idiot for getting caught out there, again. At this point, Bloom needs to tell her client to sit the fuckity-fuck down, fam.

In the end, Montia Sabbag needs to knock it off, bruh. Ultimately, this lawsuit is nothing more than an obvious money-grab, son. By and by, people were going to see Kevin Hart’s tour with or without footage of his hotel sex-capades. At the end of the day, Sabbag’s 15 minutes are over, man. Just let it go, ma’am. Just let it go. That is all. LC out.

Advertisements

I Have Mixed Feelings About This ‘Breaking Bad’ Movie

So, let me begin by saying that Breaking Bad is the greatest show in the history of mankind. Listen, I don’t care what anyone says and I don’t want to hear any alternatives. On the real, there is literally NOTHING a person can say to change my mind about this, son. With that being said, I’m simultaneously excited and frightened about the announcement of a Breaking Bad-inspired movie. Frankly, I don’t want Vince Gilligan to ruin a classic, man.

Ok, for those who missed it, Gilligan, the creator, head writer and main director for AMC‘s Breaking Bad, is bringing his talents to Netflix. So, on October 11th, the Aaron Paul-led El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie will hit the streaming service. Now, based on what I’ve read, the plot begins in the aftermath of “Felina,” Breaking Bad‘s final episode. As a refresher, Walter White liberated Jesse Pinkman from his White supremacist captors, and then Pinkman escaped in a Chevrolet El Camino (hint hint). In addition, White ended up dying, not from his cancer, but by bullets from his own M60 machine gun.

Moving on, while I don’t know much about this movie’s plot, it apparently follows Pinkman’s journey after securing his freedom. Now, a part of me can’t contain my happiness, fam. I mean, the prospect of more Breaking Bad in my life is almost more than I can handle, bruh. But, what is the show without Walter White? What is the show without the complicated relationship between Heisenberg and Pinkman? Shit, can Pinkman carry the entire film himself? Does Vince Gilligan still have a compelling story to tell? All in all, I have as much fear as elation, son. The truth is, I don’t want the saga to jump the shark, man.

In the end, only time will tell, fam. Ultimately, I’ll have all of my questions answered on October 11th, bruh. By and by, I have my fingers crossed and I’m hoping for the best, son. At the end of the day, I trust Gilligan, man. Real talk, I don’t think he’ll lead us astray, brethren. That is all. LC out.

I Finally Got Hit By The Facebook Algorithm

Ah, Facebook. I mean, what can I say about this website, son? It can be extremely useful and the Devil at the same time, man. All in all, Facebook has been an integral part of my blog’s success since I started writing in 2010. In any case, after numerous changes over the years, I’m finally starting to get hit by Mark Zuckerberg‘s constant updates. With that being said, I’m not exactly sure what that means for the future of my blog.

Now, let’s be honest, fam. On the real, I shouldn’t have to explain the heat that Facebook has received over recent years. Frankly, given the disproportionate amount of “fake news” that’s been spread across the site, Zuckerberg and company have had their feet put to the fire, bruh. In response, the company has made sweeping changes to how content is curated. Namely, it’s more interested in interactions between individuals than promoting businesses and websites. Obviously, I fall into the latter, son.

Look, I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t transparent, man. Real talk, in the early days of my blog, Facebook was responsible for about 60% of my traffic, fam. The way I see it, I wouldn’t have a following if it wasn’t for the site, bruh. Thankfully, those early years have helped me build a base that continues to support me. However, I’m starting to notice a massive drop-off in “reach,” son.

Shit, let’s talk about this “reach,” man. Basically, Facebook allows users with a dedicate page to see how many people were “reached” by their respective posts. Now, up until a few months ago, I was used to seeing hundreds/thousands of people “reached” by the content I was posting. Moving on, does anybody want to guess how many people “saw” my post yesterday? Eight, fam. Eight! So, out of all of my followers and all of the people in my Friends List, Facebook only showed my shit to eight people, bruh. Needless to say, I was fucking tiiiiiiight, son.

Honestly, I can actually point to the exact day the shift happened, man. So, back on May 15th, I wrote an article about the tomfoolery of the abortion laws in Alabama and Georgia. Anyway, Facebook told me it was “reached” by 1,078 people. The next day, I made a post about the Wu-Tang Clan documentary on Showtime. Facebook told me it was “reached” by 11 people. Ever since then, my shit has been drastically off, fam. In the span of a day, my engagement on that site decreased by 99%.

Thankfully, I have a dedicated fan base who’s been riding with me for years. So, my actual views are as strong as they’ve always been. Keeping it a buck, my original fans are the ones who are keeping my shit afloat, bruh. The problem is, it’s been harder for me to attract new people. But, LC will figure out a way around the bullshit, son. Hell, it’s impossible for me to walk away from shit that I care about, man.

In the end, that’s enough rambling from me for today. fam. Ultimately, I just want to thank everyone who’s held me down from the beginning. By and by, it’s a great thing that a lot of the legwork was done in the earlier days, bruh. All I know is, if I were starting a new blog today, I don’t even know how I would gain traction in this new system, son. At the end of the day, it’s a good thing that I don’t have to worry about that part of it, man. That is all. LC out.

P.S. I’m also not falling for the Facebook gaffle of paying to increase my “reach.” Fuck that, Zuckerberg! Fuck all of that, fam. Good day.

Drake Should Do More Acting

So, if I’m being honest, this should be a short post today, son. I mean, I’m only here to endorse the “No Guidance” video by Chris Brown and Drake, man. On the real, I can’t remember the last time I truly laughed out loud during a music video, fam. All I know is, Drake needs to do waaaaay more acting, bruh. Seriously, he’s fucking comedic gold, folks.

Ok, I’m not going to sit here and give an entire breakdown of the video. But, I will set it up for everyone. Now, it’s no secret that there used to be bad blood between Brown and Drake. Frankly, both men couldn’t keep their feelings for Rihanna in check, son. From there, these dudes were getting into bottle fights with each other and throwing countless subliminal shots. Side note, I would absolutely knee a dude in the esophagus over Thick Rihanna. I’ve already established this, brethren. All in all, a lot of clownery was in the air between the both of them, but they were finally able to put their differences aside.

In any case, the video starts off by alluding to their previous feud. So, as a plot device, both artists act like it’ll be on site if they run into one another at this party. Anyway, when they do come face-to-face, Brown challenges Drake to a dance battle. All I can say is, this scene is where Drake kills shit, man. Like, we all know that Brown is a Top 3 dancer of all-time. However, Drake’s comedic timing is worth the price of admission, fam. Keeping it a buck, this is the same ability that he showed on Saturday Night Live, bruh. The way I see it, Drake needs to go ahead and get these Hollywood dollars, brethren. To me, he’s legitimately hilarious, folks.

In the end, I’m sure that Drake will move back to acting once he gets ALL of the music money. Ultimately, as crazy as it sounds, he could probably have a longer career in film and television than music, son. Shit, I know he’s been on top of the game for a decade, but a quality actor can work for the rest of his or her life, man. By and by, folks don’t have to take my word for it, fam. Hell, just watch the video below, bruh. At the end of the day, it’s funny as shit, people. That is all. LC out.

Put Some Respeck On Wesley Snipes’ Name

So, let me be clear off rip, son. On the real, I have nothing negative to say about Mahershala Ali, man. I mean, it goes without saying, but he’s one of the best actors in the game, fam. Shit, from House of Cards to Luke Cage to True Detective to Moonlight, Ali has been consistently great, bruh. With that being said, there will be no slander on his pedigree, folks. Instead, the goal of this post is to get people to appreciate the dopeness of vintage Wesley Snipes. All in all, people need to put some respeck on his name, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, the Marvel Cinematic Universe just delivered some big news, son. Apparently, Ali is going to portray Blade in a reboot of the film series. Now, as most people know, this role was made famous by Snipes. Honestly, because of this character, Snipes was the biggest actor in Hollywood for a hot second. As a matter of fact, the first Blade movie got me in massive trouble with my mom, man.

Look, once upon a time, 13-year-old LC thought he could pull a fast one on his mother. Now, as a birthday present, I convinced my mom to take me to see Blade. Moving on, she knew it was a Rated R movie, but I neglected to tell her what the film was really about. In any case, the first five minutes of the movie features a party in the basement with a bunch of vampires dancing under blood-filled sprinklers. From there, Blade swoops in to kill them all. All I know is, my mother slapped holy fire out me and swiftly removed me from the theater.

Anyway, despite the temporary setback, I eventually saw the movie about a hundred times. All I can say is, it’s one of my favorite films, along with a myriad of work from Snipes’ catalog. Listen, this is the same man that wrecked shop in Mo’ Better BluesNew Jack CityJungle FeverWhite Men Can’t JumpMurder at 1600 and U.S. Marshals. The truth is, Snipes has a lot of movies that I’ll watch anytime they’re on television, fam. So, even though I’m a huge fan of Ali, I don’t want people to forget the greatness of Snipes.

In the end, that’s all that needs to be said, bruh. Ultimately, Snipes is a legend and should be treated as such. Besides, he gave dark-skinned dudes like me hope, son. By and by, he spoke directly to me when he put a knife through Kareem‘s hand in New Jack City and said “I never liked you anyway, pretty motherfucker.” At the end of the day, long live Wesley Snipes! Long live Blade! That is all. LC out.

I F*cks With This Beyoncé ‘The Lion King’ Album

So, before anybody says anything, I’m fully aware of the fact that I criticized the press rollout for the new The Lion King. Keeping it a buck, I stand by everything I’ve said, son. Shit, Disney did the absolute most to prop Beyoncé up as the star of the show, man. Anyway, I’m still going to give the movie a shot, fam. All I know is, my wrath will be in full effect if Jon Favreau and company ruined a classic, bruh. With all of that being said, I decided to give Beyoncé’s The Lion King: The Gift album a spin. After two listens, I really fucks with it, brethren.

Now, given the African influence of The Lion King, it was easy to surmise that Afrobeats would have a prominent role in the music. To that point, Beyoncé got a lot of dope Nigerian and Ghanaian artists to grace the songs. Whether we’re talking about Burna BoyTiwa SavageWizkid or Shatta Wale, a lot of credible African artists got their just due, son. Look, as a Carib kid who was raised on Calypso and Soca, I feel at home with Afrobeats, man. I mean, there’s a distinct commonality throughout all of the music of the diaspora, fam. So, I’m just happy to see all of this come to fruition, bruh.

Moving on, a bunch of other dope artists got a chance to flex on some of the records, son. Like, Jay-Z‘s on a track with Childish GambinoKendrick Lamar is dueting with Beyoncé, Saint Jhn is getting some much needed recognition and Tierra Whack is destroying everything in sight. All in all, I can’t really say there were any songs I straight up disliked, man. Frankly, this is a well put together soundtrack, fam. So, major props to Beyoncé, bruh.

In the end, I’ll do my best to separate the music from the movie, son. Ultimately, I just hope the film wasn’t diluted, man. By and by, I’m seeing the picture on Saturday, so I’ll judge for myself, fam. If push comes to shove, at least I have the album, bruh. *Sigh* Don’t let me down, Disney! Don’t let me down. That is all. LC out.

P.S. My favorite songs on the album right now are “Find Your Way Back,” “Don’t Jealous Me” and “Water.” So, get to jamming, folks! Good day.

A Post Of Jokes For Folks Mad About A Black Mermaid

So, I won’t lie, son. Real talk, I can’t even pretend like I’m surprised, man. I mean, anytime there’s an opportunity, bigots are going to dig into their bigotry bag, fam. In any case, this The Little Mermaid shit is especially preposterous. Like, really? Really, folks? We’re seriously out here debating the race of a fictional character? *Sigh* I guess it’s time to get these jokes off, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Disney just brought out the prejudice in a number of people. Now, Halle Bailey, one half of the Beyoncé-signed sister duo Chloe x Halle, was cast as Ariel in the upcoming live-action version of The Little Mermaid. Anyway, on paper, Bailey definitely has the chops to kill this role. I mean, she’s a credible actress, as seen on Grown-ish, and she’s an incredible singer. So, this should be a layup, right? Well, not according to a bunch of racists on social media, son.

Now, from the minute news went out, the hate train started rolling, man. Shit, whether we’re talking about the #NotMyAriel hashtag or the “Make Ariel White Again” group on Facebook, an unfortunate faction of people started to attack Bailey’s race. Apparently, a fictional character, who is also an imaginary entity, cannot be Black. All I can say is, are folks fucking serious, fam?!

Listen, to begin, Ariel is a fucking mermaid, bruh. Last time I checked, MERMAIDS AREN’T REAL, SON! Hell, this is like when Megyn Kelly and company legitimately tried to argue the race of Santa Claus on Fox News. Seriously, are certain White people so insecure, they need fake characters to validate themselves? Fam, we’re talking about a cotdamn mermaid who’s friends with a Jamaican crab and gets her voice box taken by an octopus in a dress. That’s the fight these folks are trying to fight, man? For God‘s sake, don’t these people have more important shit to worry about? Are they paying their mortgages on time? Did their children eat for dinner? Like, the ethnicity of Ariel is not the hill to die on, brethren.

In the end, I need everyone to understand something: if the race of Ariel causes a person to say bad shit about Black people, then they’re racist. Ultimately, there are no ifs, ands or buts about it, son. By and by, if White people weren’t pissed about the casting of Gods of Egypt, then shut the fuck up. If they weren’t pissed about Fisher Stevens playing Ben Jabituya in Short Circuit, then shut the fuck up. If they weren’t pissed about Scarlett Johansson playing a fucking Japanese cyborg in Ghost in the Shell, then PLEASE shut the fuck up. Side bar, I love Scarlett Johansson, but that’s neither here nor there. At the end of the day, race only becomes an issue in casting when White people don’t get the role. So, these folks can kiss the crack of every minority ass, man. That is all. LC out.