How Much Evidence Do R. Kelly Supporters Need?

So, I’m just going to get straight to the point, son. On the real, Lifetime’s Surviving R. Kelly is already one of the wildest documentaries I’ve ever seen, man. The problem is, we’re not even halfway through all of his fuckery, fam. Now, to be honest, I knew a lot of these details already. However, that didn’t stop me from being blown away while listening to some of his victims tell their stories. Furthermore, the details that I didn’t know were beyond my level of comprehension, bruh. All in all, allow me to talk through some of the shit that threw me for a complete loop, folks.

First, let’s talk about Aaliyah, son. Ok, at this point, everyone knows that Kelly married her back in 1994. Now, as the story goes, they lied about Aaliyah’s age on the marriage certificate and the two singers tied the knot in Cook County, Illinois. Anyway, my issue is the number of close associates who knew about the shenanigans and did nothing about it. Shit, Demetrius Smith, Kelly’s former tour manager, was the dude who faked the papers for Kelly. Fam! What in the flying FUCK was wrong with that dude, man?! For God’s sake, she was a CHILD, bruh! Real talk, how can that man even live with himself, people?

Second, I can no longer listen to Michael Jackson’s “You Are Not Alone.” Look, let’s be real, son. Given the number of allegations that plagued MJ, I didn’t need another reason to be sick to my stomach, man. But, leave it to Kelly to ruin the day, fam. Now, according to Lizzette Martinez, a woman who met Kelly when she was 17, MJ’s hit song is about her. Apparently, Kelly got her pregnant when she was still in high school and she suffered a miscarriage. After that, Kelly wrote the song and claimed he was thinking about her. Ok, excuse me while I go throw up, bruh.

Third, Kelly’s older brother is a fucking creep, son. I mean, it’s one thing to defend a sibling. However, it’s an entirely different thing to excuse criminal behavior, man. Hell, that’s exactly what Bruce Kelly tried to do, fam. Like, he didn’t understand why people were tripping over R. Kelly’s love of young girls. Bruh! IT’S ILLEGAL, DUDE! Listen, this has NOTHING to do with preference, folks. Underage girls aren’t a cotdamn preference, people! *Sigh* He can’t be fucking serious, brethren. All I can say is, the ENTIRE Kelly family is full of warped human beings.

In the end, I haven’t even gone below the surface of R. Kelly’s tomfoolery, son. Ultimately, people have to watch dream hampton’s documentary for themselves. By and by, Kelly is one of the most dangerous predators we’ve ever seen, man. At the end of the day, he’s been up to the same level of deviance for like three decades. Hell, it’s no coincidence that all of these women have such similar stories, fam. Frankly, this is who R. Kelly is through and through. All I know is, if anyone still rocks with R. Kelly, then they’re rapist sympathizers. Keeping it a buck, there’s no other way to describe this, bruh. That is all. LC out.

P.S. This dude apparently likes it when girls call him “Daddy.” Now, as a reminder, he also made a song called “Come To Daddy.” Jesus Christ, son! Like, I can’t even put into words how disturbing this guy is, man. No mas.

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I Thought Mexico Was Paying For The Wall, Donald Trump

So, I have a serious question for all Donald Trump supporters. Now, all jokes aside, are y’all okay with this government shutdown? Like, are y’all okay with American lives being negatively impacted over a border wall that Trump said Mexico would pay for? Then again, why am I even asking, son? Roughly 300,000 people have raised over $18 million on GoFundMe for this very wall, man. All I know is, Trump lied (again) to his own base and they’re either too ambivalent or too dumb to care, fam.

Ok, to be real, I shouldn’t have to explain to anyone what’s going on right now, bruh. Shit, as of today, the government shutdown has been in effect for almost two weeks. Now, under normal circumstances, a shutdown is already trash, son. However, this particular one is especially garbage because it began during the holidays, man. Meaning, scores of Americans had to go through Christmas and New Year’s Day without their money or benefits. To make matters worse, the catalyst of this shutdown is a stupid ass wall that taxpayers aren’t even supposed to be responsible for.

Look, let’s be perfectly clear here, fam. During his presidential campaign, Trump FREQUENTLY reiterated that Mexico was going to pay for a wall along the border between their country and the United States. I mean, that promise was THE fundamental piece of his platform, bruh. Anyway, after the former and current Mexican presidents told Trump to go fuck himself, his wall became our problem. All I know is, it’s fucking ridiculous, son. For God‘s sake, he’s denying federal employees their pay for something that was never our fucking responsibility, man! Frankly, I have NO idea why his supporters are even remotely okay with this, brethren.

In the end, this is example 2,336,736 of why Donald Trump is a terrible fucking president, son. Ultimately, the fool behind The Art of the Deal has let three government shutdowns occur on his watch. *Sigh* I’m just tired of the constant fuckery, man. Trump can never make a deal, consistently loses cabinet members and his base is still none the wiser. By and by, THIS is why reasonable people think Trump supporters are stupid, fam. This is why. That is all. LC out.

Amanda Nunes Is The GOAT

Look, there are a few things in life that can always be debated. We can debate whether Coca-Cola or Pepsi is the better drink (it’s definitely Pepsi). We can debate whether Tyson Fury got up before the ten-count against Deontay Wilder (he definitely did). Hell, we can even debate whether Killmonger was right in Black Panther (he definitely was). However, there’s one topic that isn’t up for debate, son: Amanda Nunes is the greatest women’s MMA fighter ever. Fucking ever, man!

Ok, by now, anyone familiar with MMA should know that Nunes knocked Cris Cyborg the fuck out. Now, I’ll be honest, fam. On the real, I didn’t give Nunes much of a chance, bruh. Like, I legit looked at Cyborg like the Terminator, son. But, to be fair, I also believed that if anyone was capable of pulling off an upset, it was Nunes. Real talk, I gave Nunes a slight glimmer of hope because she hits fucking hard, man! So, in my head, if by some miracle she caught Cyborg with the right punch, she might be able to pull it off. Well, I was right AND wrong, folks. Yes, she did catch Cyborg with the right punch. But, she also caught Cyborg with like 20 other “right” punches, people. I mean, Nunes beat the SHIT out of her, brethren!

All I know is, after this victory, Nunes is CLEARLY the GOAT, son. Now, I’m not just saying that because of her victory over Cyborg. Nah, I’m saying that because of her victory over Cyborg AND all of the other legends she’s beat, man. Keeping it a buck, her resume is STACKED, fam. Shit, let’s go through some of the women she’s conquered, bruh:

  • Cris Cyborg: Former Strikeforce, Invicta FC and UFC Featherweight Champion
  • Ronda Rousey: Former Strikeforce and UFC Bantamweight Champion
  • Valentina Shevchenko: Current UFC Flyweight Champion
  • Miesha Tate: Former Strikeforce and UFC Bantamweight Champion
  • Julia Budd: Current Bellator Featherweight Champion
  • Germaine de Randamie: Former UFC Featherweight Champion

For God‘s sake, what else do I have to say, son? Nunes took out 6 of the most notable champions in MMA history. From my vantage point, this puts her FAR ahead of her competition, man. At this point, Holly Holm is the only one who hasn’t taken the L yet. Side note, that’s probably coming, fam. All I can say is, I don’t see Holm beating Nunes. Anyway, it’s time for us to acknowledge that Nunes is the greatest, bruh. Hell, it’s not even fucking close, folks.

In the end, all hail the GOAT! Ultimately, Nunes solidified her place in history, son. By and by, I was hyped as shit to see it, man. At the end of the day, that’s all I have to say, fam. Viva la Amanda Nunes! That is all. LC out.

P.S. Happy New Year, you filthy animals! Good day!

I Want Jon Jones To Lose

So, let me begin this post by saying that I am a huge Jon Jones fan. Actually, I take that back, son. I WAS a huge Jon Jones fan. I mean, let’s be real, man. At this point, if anyone doesn’t believe that Jones is a cheater, they’re fucking delusional, fam. All I know is, the lead-up to UFC 232 has been a straight shit-show, bruh. The fact of the matter is, Dana White, Jeff Novitzky and USADA are okay with Jones being a cheater because he’s one of the UFC’s biggest names.

Ok, for those who have been living under a rock, Jones has tested positive (again) for a banned substance. Now, by my calculations, this is the fourth time he’s run afoul of the drug-testing committee. First, he was busted before UFC 200 and was pulled out of his rematch with Daniel Cormier. Next, he was busted for “tainted dick pills” after his win against Ovince Saint Preux. After that, he was busted for turinabol after his knockout win against Cormier. In any case, that last failure is most notable because turinabol is the same substance that was found in his system last week. All I can say is, I’m fucking done with Jon Jones, son.

Now, according to the “experts,” the turinabol found in Jones’ system is a “residual” effect of the drug discovered last year. Meaning, this isn’t a new ingestion and he was already punished for this before. Furthermore, turinabol is said to linger in a person’s body for 12-18 months. Anyway, with all of that being said, I still have MAJOR problems with this story, man. Look, according to Jeff Novitzky, UFC’s Vice President of Athlete Health and Performance, Jones first passed a drug test on August 9th. Then, he failed tests on August 29th and September 18th. Then, he passed four consecutive tests. Finally, he failed his most recent test on December 9th.

Look, that timeline sounds like pure horseshit to me, fam. If Jones has “residual” turinabol in his body, then why are his test results all over the place? Shit, he passes one test and then fails the next one. All the while, the amount of turinabol they find increases with each positive test. Bruh, if USADA doesn’t get the fuck outta here, son! It’s all fucking nonsense and shenanigans, man! Like, let’s call a spade a spade, folks. Real talk, the UFC wants Jones back because he’s a high-profile name. Frankly, they don’t care that he’s a habitual doper, brethren. On the real, a Jones fight equals pay-per-view buys. So, they just let him get away with anything, people. Regardless of that fact, I’m done with Jon Jones. No more bullshit, Bones.

In the end, this is a sad day for me, son. Ultimately, Jon Jones is the reason I started watching MMA, man. By and by, that’s not enough to continue my allegiance, fam. At the end of the day, there need to be some consequences for his actions, bruh. He can’t keep fucking up and walking right back into a title shot, people. The way I see it, the “undefeated” fighter needs to finally lose, folks. So, I hope Alexander Gustafsson knocks him the fuck out on Saturday. That is all. LC out.

Joe Budden & The World’s Greatest Rebrand

So, it’s no secret that I’m a Joe Budden fan, son. Look, I’ve written multiple articles making that exact point, man. However, I must admit, this version of Budden is WAY better than any previous incarnation, fam. I mean, for once, everything seems like it’s going well for him, bruh. Shit, based on his music alone, we know that he’s gone through copious amounts of shenanigans. But, after all of the tomfoolery and episodes of “Joe being Joe,” he finally seems to be in a good space, folks. With that being said, I have to salute Joe Budden for one of the greatest rebrands in history.

Now, let’s start with the obvious, son. Last night, at a live taping of The Joe Budden Podcast, he proposed to Cyn Santana, his girlfriend and the mother of his son, Lexington Budden. All I know is, for a dude who wrote the “Ordinary Love Shit” series, this is a fucking miracle, man. On the real, we’ve publicly seen him in tumultuous unions with Tahiry Jose, Esther Baxter and Kaylin Garcia. So, to actually see him prosper in a relationship is a welcome change of pace, fam. In any case, between his engagement, the success of his podcast AND his improved relationship with Trey Budden, his oldest son, Joe is living the fucking life, bruh. Real talk, how can anybody hate, brethren?

In the end, yeah, I’m just happy for one of my favorite artists, son. Ultimately, I don’t care if he never spits another bar again. By and by, if his lifestyle is working for him, then I want him to just do that. At the end of the day, he doesn’t need to prove he can rap anymore. His has an entire discography that can speak for him, man. That is all. LC out.

Jacquees Gotta Chill, Son

So, I won’t lie, man. Real talk, I was really trying to avoid this Jacquees shit, fam. I mean, no one in their right mind needs to debate if he’s the “King of R&B.” Shit, it’s a no for all of us, dawg. However, after I saw the nonsense he pulled with Keith Sweat, it’s about time that Jacquees got checked, bruh. All in all, confidence is one thing, son. On the flip side, hubris is the shit that got Conor McGregor choked out, folks.

Ok, for those who missed it (or have no idea who Jacquees is), this dude has been running around talking cash shit, son. Now, it all started when homie hopped on social media and declared himself “King of R&B” for this generation. Needless to say, the internet let him have it, man. Like, just a couple of months ago, he was getting clipped by DJ Mustard and Ella Mai for jacking that “Trip” song. Now he’s the King? Fam. Just… fam. Come on, bruh. In any case, his tomfoolery caused the internet to crown the real Kings and the consensus seemed to be R. Kelly, Usher and Chris Brown. Side note, we all know that R. Kelly is gross, people. But, his discography does speak for itself. It’s just a damn shame that it had to come from him, brethren.

With all of that being said, I was STILL gonna let Jacquees slide, son. That was until he decided to disrespect the Gawd, Keith Sweat. Now, after TMZ asked Sweat if he was the King, Jacquees jumped from the top turnbuckle and rudely interrupted him. From there, he stated that he’s got everyone from ages 16 to 25 on lock and that Sweat is basically the King of the old heads. All I know is, the Harlem dude in Sweat wanted to slap fire out of Jacquees, man. Shit, I would’ve encouraged the hell out of that, fam. On the real, Jacquees needs to chill the fuck out, bruh.

Listen, like I’ve said before, there’s nothing wrong with confidence. Keeping it a buck, all artists need it in order to face the public. But, there’s a thin line between confidence and arrogance, son. Face it, Jacquees has accomplished nothing yet. Now, that doesn’t mean he won’t ever make it big, man. However, he hasn’t popped off anywhere near the level of the artists he’s disrespecting. Hell, forget the legends, fam. He hasn’t even done it on the level of his peers, bruh. Seriously, I don’t know anyone who can name 3 Jacquees songs. Look, I know that may sound like a diss, but it’s not, folks. I’m just making a point that he has a lot more work to do, brethren. All I can say is, the shenanigans aren’t helping his case, people.

In the end, Jacquees needs to fall back and just make music, son. Ultimately, if the songs are dope enough, they’ll hit the people, man. By and by, we don’t need R&B singers to start trolling, fam. At the end of the day, that type of behavior is corny, bruh. Knock it off, Jacquees. That is all. LC out.

A Formerly ‘Ain’t Shit’ Dude’s Advice To Offset

So, let me keep it a buck, son. In order to make a point about this Cardi B and Offset situation, I’m going to throw myself under the bus. In any case, I just hope that anybody in Offset’s position can learn from my past mistakes. All I can say is, I’d bet money that his public campaign to get Cardi back is actually hurting him, man. The way I see it, Offset needs to take a much different approach, fam.

Ok, before I continue, let me outline my qualifications on this topic. Now, back in 2011, I was wilin’ in these streets, bruh. Anyway, despite the fact that I was a new dad and in a committed relationship, I was frequently involved in shenanigans that I had no business being a part of, son. Moving on, I ended up doing some shit with a woman who wasn’t my lady. Needless to say, I ended up in all of the doghouses, man. However, instead of immediately pushing her to take me back, I went a slightly different route, fam.

Now, as difficult as it was for me to do, I gave her space, bruh. I gave her room to make a decision for herself. No public showboating and no persistent pressure. Shit, instead of pining for her on social media, I legit disappeared from Facebook and Twitter for like 3 months. I made it a point to be present without being overbearing. So, that meant getting cursed out regularly. That meant getting ignored for days on end. That meant facing the possibility that she might not come back. All in all, the choice was in her hands and I wasn’t going to force her to make it.

Look, the point of that story is to tell Offset to back off a little. Ok, yes, it definitely seems like he wants his wife back. But, all of this attention may backfire, bruh. Hell, she basically said as much when she said “I told you I don’t like surprises” on Instagram. On the real, if she feels like she’s being bombarded on all angles, she might end up pulling away even more. The truth is, Offset needs to let her make a decision for herself. Real talk, that’s the only real chance he has, son.

In the end, don’t show up to any more concerts, Offset. Ultimately, he doesn’t want his woman to feel smothered. By and by, it’s insanely hard to loosen the grip while also trying to regain a connection. However, that may be his only real move, man. At the end of the day, the ball is in Cardi’s court, fam. Allow her to call the play. It might just work, bruh. That is all. LC out.