No One Goes To IHOP For Burgers

So, I’m going to keep this post brief today, son. Long story short, IHOP needs to chill the fuck out, man. I mean, no one is going to the International House of Pancakes for burgers, fam. On the real, I don’t care how fire their new lunch and dinner options may be, bruh. All I know is, when I pull up to IHOb, excuse me, IHOP, they better have them buttermilk pancakes on deck, folks.

Ok, for those who missed it, IHOP just tried to do some quick rebranding, son. Now, in a statement released earlier this week, the company said they were changing their name to IHOb. Apparently, instead of being the House of Pancakes, they want to be known as the House of Burgers. In any case, they weren’t really serious about changing their name, man. In fact, the goal of this little experiment was to bring attention to some of their new menu items. For instance, I see there’s going to be some shit called the Big Brunch Burger with bacon, a fried egg and hash browns on top.

Listen, I’ve been going to IHOP for a long time, fam. All in all, they’ve been trying to convince us about their non-breakfast items for a minute, bruh. With that being said, let me send IHOP a message: we’re only here for the pancakes, folks! Real talk, if the meal isn’t an 80-stack of pancakes or an oversized omelette, then I don’t want that shit, brethren. Keeping it a buck, what do I look like going to a pancake house for a burger? Why would I trust IHOP to handle my burger fix when places like Shake Shack and Five Guys exist, son? At this point, IHOP needs to know where its bread is buttered, man. All pun intended.

In the end, wake me up when IHOP comes to its senses, fam. Ultimately, I will be back at their establishment, bruh. However, I won’t be there for the burgers, son. At the end of the day, they need to have that pancake batter on deck, man. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Shout-out to Burger King, Wendy’s, Whataburger and Checkers for being super petty, fam. Shit, who doesn’t love a good beef, bruh? Side note, does everyone see what I did there? Yeah, I’m fucking HILARIOUS, son! Good day.

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