These Sex Dolls Are Out Of Control!

So, what the fuck is going on, son? Like, is this what we’re really doing, man? Look, are folks trying to tell me that dudes are giving up on real women, fam? Listen, all I want to know is, when did sex dolls become the wave, bruh? I mean, variations of them have been around for eons. All in all, what’s going on in society and technology that this has become such a trend? All I can say is, we’re living in some strange ass times, people.

Ok, I was inspired to write this because of social media. Basically, over the last few weeks, I’ve been seeing more and more posts about a new brand of sex dolls for men. Listen, shit started getting real when a doll named Shakira started making rounds on the internet. Side note, I would normally put hyperlinks to articles on my site, but I ain’t tryna get caught out there dispensing porn, son. Then again, is it porn if it’s a doll? See, I don’t know what the fuck is happening out here, man! In any case, Shakira became notable because of how “she’s” shaped. Essentially, she has a big ass and big ass titties and dudes are losing their fucking minds over it.

Moving on, more and more pictures of dolls have been invading my Facebook, Instagram and Twitter timelines, fam. Wait, what kinda pervs am I following, bruh? Seriously, why is my IG Explore Page filled with this shit, folks? Hmm, I may need to reevaluate who I associate with. Anyway, these dolls are making news because they’re all shaped like chicks who dance in Magic City and King of Diamonds. So, is that all men need, son? Anything that looks like a fat ass? It doesn’t even need to be human ass? *Sigh* I’m fucking LOST out here, man!

Listen, even if we take away the companionship of a real woman, these dolls are going to have obvious deficiencies, fam. Like, can Shakira throw that ass back? Can Shakira ride? Can Shakira give that oral yahmean? Hell nah, bruh! On the real, if they could do all of that, then we’d need to worry about the rise of Skynet, folks. In that reality, sex would be the least of our worries. Coming back, dudes are really trying to fuck a balloon that’s shaped like a stripper? Sheesh, I don’t even know what to say, son. Times like these really give credence to the phrase “truth is stranger than fiction.”

In the end, shit like this is why I’m happy to be married, man. Keeping it a buck, these dating apps already seemed like a daunting enough task for me. Now, guys out here aren’t even trying to entertain talking to women. Ultimately, people say “don’t kink shame,” but fuck that, fam! I’m ABSOLUTELY judging any man who actually buys one of these things! By and by, instead of buying a doll called Shakira, go find a real Shakira and see if she’s down for the getdown. At the end of the day, I’m 100% positive it’ll be more fun that way, bruh. That is all. LC out.

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