Who The F*ck Is Eating Tide Pods?!

Real talk, why are teenagers so damn dumb, son? Like, I did A TON of idiotic shit as a teen, but I swear, this new breed is on some other shit, man. On the real, why would ANYONE think it was a good idea to eat a Tide Pod? Fam, those things are literally designed to scrub dirt off of clothes. Does that sound like some shit that would do good things to intestines? *Sigh* All I know is, teens shouldn’t be ending up in the hospital for something so ridiculous.

Ok, for those who missed it, teenagers have found a new way to be nonsensical. Apparently, teens have been posting videos of themselves biting into laundry pods all over social media. As expected, these misguided kids have been coughing, foaming at the mouth and even getting poisoned, in a few cases. As a matter of fact, according to the American Association of Poison Control Centers, 39 poisoning calls have already been placed in the new year. Keep in mind, we’re only 18 days into 2018, bruh.

Listen, I may be a grown ass man now, but I wasn’t a teenager that long ago, son. Back then, all I worried about was hollering at chicks and drinking brown liquor. Shit, that was risky enough, man. Where the hell does detergent come into the equation, fam? Good Lord, there are MILLIONS of ways to have fun that don’t involve possible death, bruh. These young muhfuckas need to find a sport or find a real hobby, folks. I mean, I’m pretty sure video games still exist, people.

In the end, teenagers need to cut the bullshit, son. Ultimately, there isn’t a noble way to write “he died from eating a Tide Pod” in an obituary, man. By and by, all of these “challenges” need to stop too. Well, unless it’s something like a “Parallel Park Without Hitting The Car Behind You” challenge. Hell, I know all of these kids would fail that shit, fam. LC out.

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