Don’t Microchip Me, Bro!

Man, what in the “we might really be in The Matrix” type shit is going on, son? Is this what Corporate America is doing now, man? Microchips? Really? Nah, fam, this isn’t something I can get onboard with, bruh. Listen, Big Brother already has us by the balls, folks. We really don’t need to start putting foreign technology in our bodies. All I know is, count me out, people.

Now, for those who are unaware, an organization in Wisconsin is pioneering this microchip wave. So, Three Square Market, a technology company, is giving employees the option of putting a rice-sized chip between their thumb and index finger. Once this is done, with just their hand, employees can complete such tasks as swiping into the building and ordering from the cafeteria. As of now, 50 of the company’s 80 employees have volunteered.

Look, I’ve worked in Corporate America full-time for ten years now, son. All in all, I’ve never had a problem with a simple ID card, man. On the real, I have two issues with this setup, fam. First, the idea of putting a chip in my body just sounds crazy. The ability to get through the main door or order a burrito doesn’t seem like a good enough reason for putting a foreign substance in my body. In addition, while I may be a slight conspiracy theorist, there’s no way I can trust an organization with that type of access, bruh.

Second, speaking as someone who’s been laid off before, there’s no loyalty in Corporate America. So, I’m just going to let a company that can fire me put a chip in my hand? Hell fucking nah, fam! Shit, I know what it’s like to have to give back company property. What, they’re going to just dig in there and take out my chip if I have to leave the premises? No thank you, son. Just give me a keycard and let me go about my day, man.

In the end, keep this Agent Smith shit away from me, bruh. All I want to do is go to work, come home and mind my business. I don’t need remnants of my job in the same hand I use to wipe my ass, fam. That is all. LC out.

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