What The F*ck Did Ja Rule Do?!

So, am I wrong for laughing at this Fyre Festival situation? Son, this is Joanne The Scammer on a million! What the fuck were Ja Rule and Billy McFarland thinking, man?! First off, the idea of a “luxury music festival” is preposterous. Has anyone actually been to a real music festival? Shit, “organized chaos” is the best way to describe it, son. In any case, this proposition was clearly doomed from the start. However; no one could’ve guessed this idea would turn into this much of a shit-show, fam. Anyway, let’s just take a moment to make fun of everyone involved.

To begin, who in their right mind would pay five or six figures for a music festival? I mean, will God come down from Heaven and play a mean guitar solo? Will Buddha rise from the dead and offer everyone the finest of hallucinogens? Will Noah construct villas for everyone from the same material he used to make The Ark? Bruh, how could these dummies not see the scam in action? Look, Bella Hadid was never coming to the shindig, son. Anyone who believed otherwise is a plum fool, man.

Now, with all of that being said, Ja Rule and McFarland are still foul, fam. They literally tried to finesse all of their patrons with disaster relief tents, yellow school buses and cheese sandwiches. Listen, they essentially created an overpriced refugee camp. I mean, we could basically call it “Fyre Festival sponsored by FEMA.” Man, it’s no wonder they’re being sued for $100 million right now. Shit, if I was the plaintiff, an ass whooping would be part of my settlement, son. I should be allowed to punch Ja Rule and McFarland in their respective mouths, man. I guarantee that would ensure they wouldn’t try this fuck shit again, bruh.

Ultimately, I don’t feel sorry for anyone here. This shit is just funny, man. Next time, how about everyone just stick to the well-known music festivals? That way, everyone is aware of what they’re really getting ahead of time. LC out.

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