Let’s just skip the pleasantries here, son. Charles Oakley is the GOAT, the Gawd, the Myth and the Legend. For ten seasons, he faithfully served my beloved New York Knicks and helped to cultivate our 90s image. Now, when I say image, I’m talking about the fact that he was the tough guy. Along with Anthony Mason and Xavier McDaniel, Oakley let teams know that they couldn’t fuck around in the paint, son. Elbows were being thrown and shoulders were being checked. With that being said, regardless of what happened at Madison Square Garden last night, I’m glad to see his fire still burning.
So, there are conflicting stories about what got Oakley escorted out of last night’s game against the Los Angeles Clippers. According to outsiders, Oakley was either going after Knicks owner James Dolan or a random fan. From there, he got into a physical altercation with MSG security and was forcibly removed from his seat. Now, according to Oakley, he was minding his own business when security told him that “someone” wanted him out. In any case, regardless of the fight’s catalyst, Oakley was eventually arrested and charged with three counts of assault.
Now, maybe I’m a weirdo, but let me explain why this story made me proud. First, I prefer to believe the version of the story where Oakley tried to confront Jim Dolan. As a lifelong Knicks fan, Dolan has run this team into the fuckin ground. He’s made it his life’s mission to oversee every team decision and he ALWAYS makes the wrong choice. Like, I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to his ineptitude. Whether we’re talking about Allan Houston‘s ridiculous $100 million contract, hiring Isiah Thomas or trading away our entire team for Carmelo Anthony, Dolan’s been at the center of ALL of our worst moves. Needless to say, it’s about time someone rolled up on Dolan for his constant fuckery. I’m a firm believer that as long as he owns this team, we will NEVER be great, let alone average.
In the end, FREE CHARLES OAKLEY! He’s just doing the Lord‘s work, man. Contrary to what the Knicks organization said, Oakley doesn’t “need help,” man. Frankly, he’s the only one thinking clearly out here. Dolan is the worst thing to ever happen to New York sports, son. Get. Jim. Dolan. The. Fuck. Outta. Here! LC out.