So, I want everyone reading this to take a hard look at the picture above. LOOK AT THAT SHIT, MAN! Who approved this fuckery, son?! Why would Hollywood allow this bullshit to happen? I know the film industry has a long, looooooong history of Whitewashing historically Black characters, but this is out of control, man. All I know is, Joseph Fiennes and the entire staff of Elizabeth, Michael & Marlon need to be beaten with rubber hoses for what they did to Michael Jackson.
Now, before I continue eviscerating Fiennes for the bullshit makeup on his face, I want to talk about the plot of this movie. So, apparently, right after the 9/11 attacks, Jackson, Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando hopped in a car and road tripped with each other from New York to California. Needless to say, shenanigans ensued along the way. *Sigh* Like, that’s a real plot, son. I mean, let’s put all of this into perspective. First, a screenplay was written about this. Next, a director signed on to make this. Finally, a cast and crew was put together to complete this. Along the way, ANYONE could’ve been like “ay, yo, this is a stupid ass idea.” However; NO ONE said that, son. I’m fucking baffled, man. Absolutely baffled.
Ok, getting back to Fiennes, I have so many fucking questions, son. First, why was this White dude allowed to play one of our greatest Black icons in the first place? Look, this isn’t a fictional character where it’s up to interpretation. Michael Joseph Jackson was a living, breathing human being and he was BLACK! All the vitiligo and plastic surgery in the world couldn’t change the fact that he was a Negro from Gary, Indiana, bro. Now, if anyone questions that, just go look at the rest of his family, man. Shit, Jermaine Jackson‘s face is probably super greasy as we speak, son.
Moving on, let’s talk about Fiennes’ makeup. Ok, look, in the latter parts of his life, MJ looked like a damn fool, son. I’ll be the first to admit that. With that being said, how in the fuck does Fiennes look even worse than the real MJ? How, Sway? How?! Bruh, I’m sure there are a billion pictures of Michael circulating around the internet right now. This crew couldn’t do a better job of approximating that man’s face?! I… I’m at a fucking loss for words, son. Mixing gall with an utter lack of execution is dangerous as all hell, man.
In the end, I’m speechless, son. Joseph Fiennes and the cast of Elizabeth, Michael & Marlon murdered MJ for a second time. Shit, they need to be in prison with Conrad Murray. Look, even though Murray was an incompetent doctor, he wasn’t aiming to kill Mike. On the other hand, the clowns who worked on this movie did this bullshit on purpose. *Sigh* I’m out.