A Dissertation About Hillary Clinton, Emails & D*ck Pics

I know, I know, I know, son. I know I said I wasn’t going to write about this election anymore. But dammit, ridiculous things just keep on happening, man. All jokes aside, I’ve never seen an election of any kind with this much fuckery embedded in it. Real talk, I wholeheartedly believe a high school senate race has more ethics than this bullshit. I mean, look at all of the nonsense this myriad of adults has engaged in, son. With that being said, here we go again with Hillary Clinton’s emails, man. Eight days before a dire presidential election and the FBI is looking into her situation again, thanks to none other than Anthony Weiner.

Now, hasn’t this dude caused enough trouble in his lifetime? Hasn’t Carlos Danger ruined enough people already, man? It’s bad enough he can’t stop sending pictures of his dick to women, but now his ridiculous habit could have an effect on the election. Apparently, during an FBI probe into his underage sexting scandal, the bureau found some emails that could pertain to their previous investigation of Clinton’s private email server. The problem is, there are more than 1,000 emails for the bureau to sift through, which cannot possibly be done before we all vote next week. So, this situation could potentially alter the outcome and we’re not even sure if they’re going to find anything. As it stands, it seems as if they didn’t find any emails from Clinton directly, but her name appears to be swirling all throughout the muck and the mire.

At this point, facts really don’t matter here (shout-out to Desus Nice and The Kid Mero). It doesn’t matter if FBI Director James Comey broke protocol by announcing these findings publicly. The content of these emails don’t matter either, man. The reality is, perception is everything, son. It’s no secret that Hillary Clinton has a high disapproval rating and there are numerous people who don’t think she’s trustworthy. This situation is yet ANOTHER incident which lends credence to people’s fears that she’s just some corrupt politician with no regard for rules. In the end, that’s all her detractors need to plead their case against her. Regardless of what Democratic pundits try to say, these things matter in the eyes of the people. Soooooo, next Tuesday’s election should be very interesting and not in a good way, son. Not in a good way at all.

All in all, I have nothing else to say, man. I just want this election to be over. I simply want to know whether or not I need to buy a plane ticket out of this country. With that being said, next Tuesday can’t come soon enough. Good day.

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