Paris OD’d On Kim Kardashian

Listen, I’ve never been a fan of the Kardashian family, but wow, son, Paris completely stepped out of bounds. The newly unearthed story of Kim Kardashian’s robbery is so wild, it legit sounds like some movie shit. Honestly, I’m confused as to how something so bonkers could happen to someone at Kim’s fame level. I have so many questions, man. So many damn questions. Let me see if I can talk my way through this.

First, for those who are unaware, Kim was robbed of $10 million worth of jewelry at a Paris hotel. Now, on face value, when I hear a story like that, I automatically think someone got lucky by stealing a suitcase or something. However; in this case, the situation was WAY more dangerous. Apparently, a couple of gunmen dressed up like police, put the pistol to the concierge and made him take them to Kim’s residence. From there, the gunmen tied Kim up in a bathroom and ran off with her shit. Like, I didn’t make up any part of this story, son. That’s actually what’s being reported, man.

All I want to know is, where the fuck does this type of shit happen, bro? Where was her security? Why wasn’t the security at the hotel better? Look, it’s entertaining to make fun of the Kardashian family, but this ain’t the time for jokes, man. This really could’ve been a hazardous scenario. Do we even know if her kids were with her at the time? So many loose ends to tie up, no pun intended, though.

Ultimately, I don’t really have much else to say. Nobody deserves to face that type of potential violence. On the real, armed people need to be around celebrities at all times. No one can ever guess when some overzealous fools might try to reenact some nonsense they saw in a Quentin Tarantino film. At this point, I’m just looking for a simpler time when I could make fun of the Kardashian’s for being media whores. This type of incident is way too real for the streets they reside on. Everybody needs to be safe, though. Word to Taxstone. Good day.

P.S. Like my homegirl LeShay said, this story better NOT end up on Kim’s reality show. This ain’t the type of shit that should be exploited for ratings. Then again, that family put Lamar Odom‘s issues on blast, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised if it does. All I know is, I agree with my fiancée: that stolen jewelry is waaaay too hot for the theives to be able to safely lay low. I hope it was worth it, son. I hope it was all worth it.

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