LC’s Review Of Last Night’s Debate F*ckery

Man, my head hurts, bro. Like, I’m fairly positive my brain cells are on fire right now. What the hell did I watch last night, son? Did a presidential debate actually occur or did we all watch the premiere of a new VH1 reality show? All I know is, during the course of last night’s shenanigans between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, I hugged my sons because this truly might be the end of days. With that being said, I’ve decided to reluctantly give everyone my review of last night’s debate, bullet point style.

1. Lester Holt Got Treated Like A Punk Bitch: Bruh, how bad of a moderator was Lester Holt? Look, I’ll always support the Black man when it comes to Dateline or the Nightly News. However; he needs to never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever moderate another debate. He never had control of the situation, son. Both candidates, ESPECIALLY Trump, frequently went over time, Holt never stopped Trump during the copious amount of times he interrupted Clinton AND Trump even interrupted him. At one point, Trump literally told Holt to wait while he rebutted a comment Clinton made. All I can say is, Holt definitely came out of this with his lip busted and reputation mangled.

2. Trump Would’ve Interrupted God Himself: Look, this dude Donald Trump has no couth whatsoever. While I’ve already mentioned the number of times he interrupted Holt, the real victim here was Clinton. During the first 26 minutes of the debate alone, Trump interrupted Clinton 25 times. 25 fucking times, man! Now, I’m no brain surgeon, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how a debate works. What the hell is the point of time limits if Trump is just going to talk whenever he feels like it? By the way, I hope Trump understands, simply blurting out words like “lies” doesn’t actually disprove any of the points Clinton made. For example, he claimed she lied about him saying global warming was an invention of the Chinese, but lo and behold, the internet found his tweet from 2012 saying exactly that. Foolishness, I say.

3. Trump’s Views On Race Relations Are Frightening: In regards to this bullet point, all I have to say is Stop and Frisk. When asked about how he would improve race relations in this country, Trump mentioned the need for more “law and order” in minority communities. Taking it a step further, he then suggested instating Stop and Frisk across the nation. Here’s the problem, though: A DISTRICT COURT JUDGE DEEMED THE PRACTICE UNCONSTITUTIONAL! A number of studies showed the method was racially biased toward stopping Black and Hispanic people. Speaking as someone who’s been stopped more than once due to this bullshit tactic, I can attest to the fact it’s highly prejudicial to minorities. Someone, please get this man the fuck out of here.

4. Trump Admitted Some Terrible Things About Himself: Now, for just one moment, let’s talk about taxes and the housing market. First, Clinton brought up the fact Trump hadn’t paid federal taxes during certain periods of time. Instead of denying it, he said it’s because he was “smart.” Next, Clinton stated that Trump was in favor of the 2008 housing market crash since it gave him the opportunity to buy more property. In response to that, Trump called it “good business.” So, let me get this straight, son. The man running for president doesn’t pay the IRS AND was in favor of the crash that contributed to the worst depression since the 1930s? IS ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS SHIT?! I didn’t even mention the fact he basically admitted he doesn’t properly pay his own employees. Son, seriously, what the fuck is going on around here? How is Donald fucking Trump the Republican nominee for president? What the hell is wrong with the GOP?!

5. Trump Is Absolutely Allergic To Facts: In regards to the “birther movement” he spearheaded, Trump said he let the issue go when President Obama released his birth certificate in 2011. However; he was STILL talking about whether or not Obama was born in this country as of THIS YEAR! When Holt brought this fact up, Trump flat out refused to answer the question. Instead, he claimed credit for making Obama prove he was an American. Next, he blamed Obama and Clinton for the “power vacuum” that created ISIS, ignoring the fact that the agreement that removed the troops from Iraq was signed by George W. Bush. Hell, I already wrote about this in a previous post. Lastly, I literally heard this dude say he’s never “given much thought” to NATO. How in God’s name can Trump run this country when he’s not even familiar with our allies, man? His campaign is mind-bogglingly stupid and I have a really heard time figuring out how we got here as a nation.

Ok, I think that about does it for me today. Look, I’m still no huge fan of Clinton, but good Lord, Donald Trump is a maniac, son. For the life of me, I CANNOT understand how the polls are so close. If anyone needs proof the general public is idiotic, just examine the people who support this man. The sad part is, regardless of what happened last night, Trump’s base will probably never leave him. With that being said, I can’t stress enough how important it is to vote. Otherwise, everyone needs to start preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse. Armageddon is about to reach America really soon, son. Good day, I think.

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